Calvin opened his eyes. He was sitting in a spaceship.

It looked so familiar, and yet…

Calvin looked around.

Hmmm… He appeared to be in a cell.

Calvin got lifted himself from the floor and walked over to the steel bars.

He peered outside. No guard?

Calvin strained his neck to see beyond the cell.

Just then, something gray jumped in front of the cell.

It was an alien!

Calvin screamed.

The alien screamed.

Calvin and the alien both stared at each other, continuing to scream like a bunch of demented mountain lions.

"WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?" Calvin shouted, spewing spit into the alien's face.

He cleared it off and thought.

"I'll take diabolical plot for 500 please."

Calvin blinked. "Uhhh…," he muttered, rolling his eyes. "O-kay. What are you up to?"

"Rupert, Earl, and some other dude are out to take over the universe," the alien grinned.

Calvin made a buzzing sound. "I'm sorry," he said. "Your answer had to be in the form of a question."

The alien broke down sobbing. Calvin backed away nervously. Crying was one thing he hadn't seen these aliens do yet.

"However, you do get the…uh…other prize!" Calvin said.

The alien brightened.

"Really?" he asked, his compound, yellow eyes growing wide. "What is it?"

"An all paid trip to Las Vegas!" Calvin announced, throwing his arms into the air.

"OH WHEE!" the alien yelled, jumping up and down.

Have you ever seen something with tentacles for feet jumping up and down? It's really weird.

"All you have you do," Calvin said, "is unlock this cell door! It will be the entrance to your ultimate vacation experience!"

The alien (boy, is he an idiot?) grabbed the keys on his belt and quickly unlocked the door.

Calvin strolled out.

"There ya go," Calvin said, grabbing the keys from him. "Las Vegas."

"Hmm," the alien said, walking into the cell. "I kinda expected Las Vegas to be brighterandwith more primary colors."

"Those TV commercials really lead you astray, don't they?" Calvin said, slamming the cell door and throwing the keys into the waste basket.

"Hey!" the alien snarled. "Have I been tricked?"

"Well," Calvin said, inching away from the steel bars. "It's a strong possibility."

Calvin opened a door, flashed the alien a sinister grin, and left.

"When do get to a casino?" the alien asked, sitting down onto the dusty floor.

Calvin rushed through the spaceship. He peeked into every door.

"Where are they?" Calvin thought. "He said that Rupert, Earl, and some other weirdo were planning to take over the universe. But who?"

Just then, Calvin saw an alien slithering towards him.

YIKES!

"What are you doing out of your cell?" the alien asked, suspiciously.

"Uuh…," Calvin rolled his eyes around. "I was just……Um…Actually, I'm an alien dressed up as Calvin so if…… Uuuh……someone comes and tries to save me…I mean him…then we could capture them. I guess."

The alien stared at Calvin.

"Oh," he said, walking off.

Calvin wiped some sweat from his brow, happy that Earl had a bunch of morons for a crew.

But Calvin couldn't keep up that "alien dressed up as Calvin" idea.

Calvin zoomed down the hallways. He zoomed across the entire ship desperately looking for a space jet.

"AH HA!" Calvin screamed.

There was a sign on the wall saying SPACE JETS: THIS A-WAY.

Calvin bolted through the hallway and reached a door.

SPACE JETS: IN HERE.

Calvin flung the door… Oh terrific.

Rupert and Earl were standing in that room.

The Alien King and the Alien Captain flung their heads around and stared at Calvin.

Calvin stared back.

Their yellow eyes narrowed to slits, and they both slithered for Calvin without a word.

Just then, Calvin got an idea.

Calvin hastily made a little message for whoever worked in Calvin's head. If anything even did.

Mayday! Aliens! What do I do now?

Calvin waited for a response.

Rupert and Earl were almost on top of him.

Then, a message flashed across Calvin's eyes. Calvin read it.

French Fries or Hash Browns?

Calvin growled in frustration and typed another message.

Tell me what to do, you idiots, or we'll all be eaten by aliens! I don't know what you dumbbells do in there, but hurry up! If I go down you'll go with me!

A message flashed across the screen.

Peanut butter sandwiches are slightly higher west of Observatory Park.

In a flash of anger, Calvin screamed, "YOU MORON! AT A TIME LIKE THIS, DO I CARE ABOUT PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICHES?"

Rupert and Earl stopped, and gave Calvin a blank stare.

Just then, Calvin realized that Bob was staring at him.

"Are you talking to me?" he asked.

Calvin whirled around. Since he was in a hurricane of anger, he didn't recognize Retro's sidekick.

"Yes! No! I'm not sure. Did you say something about peanut butter sandwiches?"

"I don't remember," Bob said. "What did I say?"

"You said…I can't remember. No, wait! You said that they were slightly higher west of……Mount Rushmore, I think it was."

"Nope," Bob said. "That wasn't me. I would have said they were made out of peanut butter."

Calvin stared at him.

"Why would you say that?" he asked.

"Cause they are. Everybody knows that peanut butter sandwiches are made out of peanut butter."

"Right," Calvin said. "And if everybody already knows it, why would you bother to say it? And why would you leave out the part about Mount Rushmore? Don't you care about our great presidents!"

Bob backed up, nervously. "I…I…I…"

"That's no excuse, and don't argue with me!" Calvin spat. "The point is…"

Just then another alien slithered up to Bob.

"Hi, Bob," he said dully.

Bob, still not used to the aliens, yelled in horror and rushed off.

Calvin blinked. He turned back to Rupert and Earl, who were still staring at him as if he had lost his mind, then typed a final message.

Hash browns, you dork.

Calvin then looked up Rupert and Earl. He gave them a broad smile.

"Hi, guys. Nice evening, huh? You bet! How's the family? Great. Let me go straight to the point, and say that I know nothing about the Fabled Treasure at the West End of the Rainbow."

Rupert and Earl gave Calvin a blank stare.

"Furthermore," Calvin continued. "I deny any knowledge of anything. I didn't do it, you can't prove a thing, you have no case, and, well, I guess I'd better be moving along."

Calvin started backing away.

This seemed to be working.

Rupert and Earl hadn't moved, and were staring at Calvin as though…well, as though they couldn't believe their eyes and ears. But then again, do they have ears?

Calvin turned, and gave a wave of farewell.

"Well, guys, see you around. Tell the family hello."

Rupert and Earl pulled out ray guns and pointed them at Calvin.

"That's just hilarious, Potentate," Rupert growled.

"Well, I've always been the class clown. Or so the school board said," Calvin said.

And with that, Calvin vanished in a blur of red and yellow.

"ATTENTION!" Rupert screamed into a microphone. "The prisoner is loose! I REPEAT! THE PRISONER IS LOOSE!"

Calvin flew down the hallway.

Several aliens burst from different rooms and started for Calvin with deadly expressions.

Calvin pumped his arms so fast, he could have sworn that he saw a spark of fire on them.

Just then, he came to a room of the spaceship he had never seen before.

It had a steel door.

He flung the door open, rushed inside and slammed the door. He quickly locked it, and several heads of lethal aliens crashed into the door.

Calvin held the door back.

Several ray guns sounded, and the door rattled.

Calvin held the door back still.

Just then, a bell rang throughout the entire spaceship.

"LUNCH TIME!" the aliens all screamed, running toward the cafeteria on the other side of the ship.

"What a close call," Calvin thought. He turned around.

He was in one of those rooms where people used to develop photographs.

Dark room, Calvin thought it was called.

It was filled with dark red light, and in the middle of the room was the…

"THE IMAGINATOR!" Calvin screamed with glee. "What the heck is that thing doing in here?"

Calvin quickly got over his suspicions because, with that machine, he could make a Space Jet and get out of here.

Calvin rushed over to the machine.

Just then, Calvin heard a voice.

He spun around. He couldn't see anything.

"Hello?" Calvin asked. "If anyone's there, please hesitate to answer!"

No answer.

Calvin blinked.

"Um… Ok… That's enough, you can stop hesitating now."

No answer.

"Oh come on!" Calvin yelled. "Why are you torturing me with this silence! You know that's spooky and mysterious! SAY SOMETHING!"

No answer.

"Alright, fine!" Calvin snarled. "Don't say anything! See what I care! HMPH!"

Just then, Calvin caught a movement out of the corner of his eye.

Calvin spun around.

"YOU MOVED LIKE THAT ON PURPOSE!" Calvin screamed.

As you can guess, nobody answered.

"Alright!" Calvin snarled. "That's IT! I REFUSE TO LET SOME CREEPY, SHAPELESS THING DISTURB MY…something. My dignity! My pride! My Sense of Self Wonder! What any of those have to do about this particular moment, I don't know. BUT I REFUSE TO FIND OUT!"

And with that, Calvin spun around, started complaining about all the injustices in the world, and walked over to the Imaginator .

He was almost there, but just then, Calvin caught another flash of motion out of the corner of his eye, heard an evil chuckle and…… something very bad happened.