The next morning, Hobbes was the first to get up. He got up out of bed and walked into the kitchen where he started preparing toast.
He hadn't seen Calvin on the way, so he figured he'd already had breakfast and was waiting for him outside.
"I wonder if he got another case of bed hair," he wondered aloud.
"HEY! WHAT'RE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?" an unfamiliar voice shouted.
Hobbes looked behind himself and saw Evil Calvin was standing behind him. Of course, he didn't know it. All he knew was that Calvin's hair was weirder than ever.
"Apparently so," he thought to himself.
"You dare to trespass on my property, you crazy feline? Well, I shall show you what happens when you make a mockery of me!"
Hobbes rolled his eyes. "Oh, so you're going to beat me up, are you?" he teased. "I'd like to see you try. Come on! Give me your best shot! I dare ya!" He put his face extra close to Evil Calvin.
Evil Calvin shot him an evil smile before reeling back.
It all happened so fast that Hobbes almost missed it. One minute, Calvin was reeling back to sock him one, and the next, Hobbes saw a bunch of stars, planets, tweety birds and somewhere in the deeper recesses of his brain, he heard a harp playing for no apparent reason. He found himself in the front yard in a crater, and he was rubbing his sore nose.
"That's right!" Evil Calvin shouted. "There's more where that came from!"
He slammed the door shut.
Hobbes' jaw hung open in shock. "What is wrong with this picture?" he muttered to himself.
Socrates came up the walk. "What happened to you?"
"Calvin…just…hit…me!" Hobbes stuttered.
"So? You two are always at it," Socrates snorted.
Hobbes grabbed his tiger friend by the shoulders.
"Socrates, don't you understand? He has a Mohawk! He has a tough New Yorker accent! He thinks I'm an intruder! HE JUST WALLOPED ME INTO NEXT SATURDAY!"
"And…your point is?"
"SOCRATES!"
"Sorry."
"That does it. Come on. We're gonna show him what happens when he messes with tigers!"
"Right behind ya!"
Hobbes and Socrates stormed up the walk back into the house.
Evil Calvin was experimenting with the Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs. He looked up and saw them.
"Oh, great! You again! And a little friend of yours! I'll teach you to mess with me!"
Socrates leaned over and whispered into Hobbes' ear. "Don't worry, Bunky. I'm gonna prank him into next Saturday."
"That wasn't a funny," Hobbes replied, "and don't call me Bunky."
Socrates stepped forward. "Hey, Calvin, see this dollar?"
Just so you know, it wasone of those fake dollars that had a string on it.
Evil Calvin hadn't been informed on this.
"What's a dollar?" he asked.
Socrates looked over at Hobbes, who shrugged.
"Uh, currency."
"Earth currency?" Evil Calvin asked.
"Duh."
"Let me see that."
Socrates grinned a sneaky grin.
When Evil Calvin reached for it, he pressed a small silver button that caused the dollar to zip away.
"HA! Gotcha!"
Evil Calvin realized in two seconds he'd been tricked, and while Socrates was busy celebrating his victory, he stomped on his tail hard.
"YAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Socrates screamed.
Now he was mad.
"Why, you little twerp!"
Socrates tried to punch Evil Calvin, but the phony was a step ahead of him. He jumped Socrates, and they rolled out the backdoor.
Hobbes watched the wreck for a moment, and then he reared up on his hind legs. After aiming precisely, he extended his claws and pounced.
Evil Calvin suddenly felt a new disturbance. He jumped away from Socrates just as Hobbes landed, meaning that two tigers were now rolling out around the yard like a bowling ball, bashing into everything.
By the time Hobbes finally realized his mistake, Evil Calvin was holding him by his tail.
"Who are you and what are you two doing trying to break into my home?"
"Hobbes, what happened? Did he forget when the stairs ended again?" Socrates asked.
Evil Calvin froze. "Wait, Hobbes the tiger? As in, Calvin's roommate?"
Hobbes and Socrates nodded.
Evil Calvin grinned nervously, hoping he hadn't blown it already.
"Uh, right! Hobbes, ol' buddy, ol' pal, ol' amigo, ol' compadre! So sorry! I'm probably still in sleep mode."
Hobbes eyed him suspiciously. "What's with your new hairstyle?" he asked.
"Why, what's wrong with it? YA GOT A PROB WITH THE DO?"
Socrates stepped behind Hobbes.
"I don't," he said timidly.
Evil Calvin stepped closer to Hobbes and pulled him down so that he eye level with him.
"Just don't get in the way of the plans," he growled.
"What plans?" Hobbes asked nervously.
It was the first time he'd ever been intimidated by Calvin's presence.
"The plans!"
"What the plans?" asked Socrates.
"You back off!"
"Kay."
Evil Calvin released Hobbes and went back towards the house.
"Wait, aren't you coming? We were going to Andy and Sherman's and watch intergalactic movies from Galaxoid and Nebular," said Socrates.
Evil Calvin screeched to a halt. "Who?"
"You know: the kid, the hamster, and the two aliens," Hobbes said.
"ALIENS?"
"Not Rupert and Earl! The nice aliens who have no arms and pointy hats!"
"Yeah, they said they had sent us TRIASSIC PARK IX and HARRY POTTER XCIX: THE FIFTH HOGWARTS REUINION," said Socrates.
"I swear, they are so advanced, it just blows me away," Hobbes sighed.
Evil Calvin calmed down. "Yeah, sure. I shall partake in your little invite."
He stomped down the sidewalk leaving the two tigers befuddled.
Suddenly, he came running back.
"Where might their house be?" he asked quickly.
Hobbes and Socrates rolled their eyes, going on ahead.
"Amnesia, anyone?" Socrates whispered.
"Shut up," Hobbes hissed.
Socrates looked back at Evil Calvin who was looking closely at things that were passing, like cars, birds, airplanes, leaves and cans.
"You have to admit, he's not acting himself," he went on.
"Look, do you want to watch the movies or not?" Hobbes insisted. "He's just cranky because he's not being treated right, probably."
Socrates nodded in response, and they continued.
Once at the home of Andy and Sherman, they were soon back in the lab, but rather a room in the very back. Hobbes, Andy and Socrates were waiting impatiently as Sherman prepared everything.
"Come on, Rodent Breath!" Hobbes shouted. "We'd like to see this movie today! Galaxoid highly recommended!"
"Keep your stripes on, you uncompromising feline!" Sherman shot back. "This is a very delicate procedure. We need to hook up the projector just right."
Andy rolled his eyes. He simply walked over to the DVD Player, put the disc in, pressed PLAY, hit the ON button on the projector and sat down.
"Oh, sure, if you want to do it the simple way," Sherman snorted.
As the movie started, Hobbes noticed that Calvin wasn't around. He got up from his seat and left movie area.
"Calvin? The movie's starting! It's a DVD! You know, that thing that you've always wanted but Dad won't let you have!"
"A DVD? That's so primitive! What happened to VVV's?"
Hobbes winced at being reminded what the future held. "We're on Earth, bozo. Those are from Planet Zok. We were lucky that Galaxoid and Nebular could convert it for us. They have TVCs! Those are Terminal Video Coils, and in this case, terminal doesn't mean visual display unit."
Evil Calvin rolled his eyes. "Go ahead and watch it without me. I'm experimenting."
Sherman suddenly appeared in front of him in a field of electricity.
"How'd you do that?" Evil Calvin demanded.
"My teleportation belt, you dim-witted shrimp! The lab is for my use only! Now get back over there or get out!" the genius hamster squeaked.
"And your name is again…?"
"Sherman J. Hamster! I am the smartest thing on the planet."
"But Socrates says you're no smarter than cottage cheese! How on Zok could you be…?"
"HE SAID WHAT NOW?" Sherman bellowed in a small voice.
Socrates whistled nervously in his seat.
Sherman teleported onto his head. "I'll chew your ears off!" he squeaked.
"Ooh, I'm so scared," Socrates mocked.
Sherman took a big bite into Socrates' ear. Sharp little teeth sank into the skin.
"YYYEEEEOOOOWWWW!"
"Yeah, hamster teeth are sharp. Watch out for that," said Andy lifelessly.
So whilst Hobbes and Andy were watching the movie and Sherman and Socrates fought (Sherman was winning), Evil Calvin was searching the lab.
"This laboratory must have something useful," he said to himself. He scrambled around and searched through several filing cabinets. Finally, he came across a certain file that looked interesting.
PLANET DETERIORATING RADIO TRANSMITTER
After opening the file, he found blueprints, a rough sketch, a photo of the finished product and instructions.
Evil Calvin pulled back a curtain and found something that looked like a giant microscope.
"It could work," he murmured. "It could just work."
Hobbes looked back at Evil Calvin, still unaware that it was a phony-baloney Calvin.
"I dunno about you, but I think something's wrong with him," he whispered to Andy.
"What do you mean?" asked Andy. "I thought something was already wrong with him."
"Yeah, but now it's increasing."
