Chapter 17: Dog Kisses
(Hermione's POV)

I was sitting at lunch when I heard footsteps behind me and a muffled snigger. I turned to find Blaise Zambini standing behind me. I stood up prepared for a confrontation, but was surprised that he just stared at me when I turned to face him. "What?"

"Nothing," he replied. He stepped forward and lightly, but surely, pushed his lips against mine. I drew back quickly, wiping my mouth on the sleeve of my robes.

"What are you doing?" I demanded.

"Just following directions," he smiled eerily and strutted off to the Slytherin table where he took a seat next to Malfoy who was laughing his head off.

I sat back down, trying to eat after the unpleasant experience. The kiss had been brief but I had had the feeling that I was kissing a dog. And when was the last time he had brushed his teeth? Gross.

I continued cutting up my food, trying to make myself eat it after the dog kiss, until a hand grabbed my shoulder. "Hermione! Who did that?" Ron asked, sliding into the seat next to me.

"What?" I asked. Had he seen the kiss?

"There's a sign on your back, it says 'Kiss me! I'm wearing a thong!'" Ron explained.

"Oh. That explains it," I looked over at the Slytherin table and caughtMalfoy's gaze. I smiled composedly and looked at Harry. "Can you take it off for me?"

"Here," Harry handed me the piece of parchment.

"Well?" asked Ron.

"Well what?" I turned to him on the bench.

"How are we going to get him back?" Harry asked.

"Let's hit him," Ron suggested.

"No. I'll take care of it. You two eat lunch. Remember we have another class after this," I said, standing up from the table.

I strolled over to the Slytherin table, confidently striding up behind Malfoy. I leaned over his shoulder so he wouldn't have to turn around.

"Nice trick. I didn't know how badly I upset you when I won that argument earlier, and I'm sorry. I should have let you win, you prat," I whispered softly in his ear. "You know, a guy with a big ego is a big turn on for me." At this point I started to massage his shoulders and worked my way down. I placed the sign up against his back and whispered a permanent sticking charm as I pulled away. I could tell he was blushing because it had crept all the way back to his ears.

"Get away from me you stupid mudblood," he said roughly and pulled away from my touch.

"Sure thing, you ratcheted pedestrian," I said loudly as I yanked on the back of the thong he was wearing. I pulled as hard and fast as I could, jerking it as far as it would go. Malfoy just sat there, stunned, and wincing painfully. I kissed him quickly on the cheek, picked up my bag and walked out of the Great Hall, laughing madly all the way.