"Alright," Retro said. "Rupert? You and I will go and threaten the Earth. Earl? Bob? You two go after Calvin."

Earl and Bob nodded and started down the hall.

Earl was grumbling the whole way.

"Stupid moronic planet leader… Can't believe he keeps doing this… Who on Earth hires my idiotic crew?"

Bob was looking around, nervously, hoping that Earl wouldn't spot and or notice his sudden increased terror.

Calvin ran down the hall, zooming past several doors, until he came to the steel one.

He flung the door open and……the Imaginator was gone.

Calvin altered course and ran smack into Earl.

Earl reached for Calvin.

Calvin reached over, and grabbed Earl's tentacles.

"HEY!" Earl screamed, as Calvin flung Earl into the wall and rushed off.

Earl growled, got up, and started after Calvin again.

Calvin went panting past Bob.

"Hi, Bob! Bye, Bob!"

Earl ran up to Bob. Big mistake. Don't ever run up to Bob. Especially if you have tentacles, chrome heads that are pointed at the top and compound eyes.

Bob screamed like a mountain lion in distress and ran off in Calvin's direction, spewing dust into Earl's face as he left behind a dust cloud.

Earl muttered and grumbled and ran after the two lunatics.

Suddenly, the ship started to shake.

Earl looked around.

Then, the wall next to Earl exploded, and Calvin emerged from the wreckage in the Claw Car.

"Whoops," Earl said. "Probably shouldn't have left the keys in the ignition."

Calvin grinned and started pushing the levers forward.

The giant jaws at the end of the car reached downward for the alien.

Earl quickly morphed into a human and dove from the way as the car took out a huge chunk out of the floor.

Calvin started laughing like a maniac, as he hit full throttle and roared over to Earl, the claw snapping.

Earl picked pulled a black sphere out of his jacket, hit a small button, and tossed it at the Claw Car.

It blew up in mid air and smoke filled the hallway.

Calvin coughed and sputtered and started pushing and pulling levers in the car causing the Claw Car to go wild and take several chunks out of the wall, floor and ceiling.

When the smoke finally cleared, Calvin realized that Earl was standing on top of the claw and sliding down to the front where Calvin sat.

Calvin slammed his foot into the gas and roared down the hall.

Earl took hold of the windshield glass and started reaching for Calvin.

Calvin made a sharp turn to the left in an attempt to knock Earl off.

It backfired.

Both Calvin and Earl went flying through the air.

Earl landed in the car seat and Calvin landed on top of the claw.

Earl grinned and took the controls.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAHH!" Calvin screamed, as Earl flung the claw from left to right trying to get a firm grip on him.

Calvin flung himself to the right side of the claw as Earl slammed the left side into the wall.

CRASH!

Then Calvin climbed to the left side as Earl flung the right side into the wall.

BANG!

Several aliens screamed like I-don't-know-what's and dove from the way as Earl madly tried to destroy Calvin.

Calvin slid down the claw and landed next to Earl.

Earl made a grab for Calvin. But he was too fast.

Calvin flung himself into the seat next to Earl.

Calvin then kicked and punched Earl out of the car and took the controls.

Calvin screeched to a stop and spun the car around and prepared to scoop Earl up in the jaws of the claw.

Earl ripped his ray gun out of his jacket and started firing at Calvin.

Calvin ripped the claw over to the side, and the plasma bounced off the claw and destroyed part of the wall.

Retro had made the claw too perfect, and Earl couldn't melt it.

Earl somersaulted out of the way as Calvin reached down to grab him once again.

"Requesting backup!" Earl screamed into the ship. "In other words, HELP ME OUT YOU MORONS!"

"That's not my area," said an alien.

"I don't wanna," said another.

"I'm on my lunch break," said another.

Earl's eyes slammed shut and made a mental note to kill everybody on the crew after he killed Calvin.

He turned his attention to Calvin only…hmmmm……

Calvin had vanished.

Earl leaped to his feet, and started running down the hall after him.

Bob had been watching the whole thing from behind a door. He looked down into where the door led, and it looked huge!

"This could be a good place to lie low until the heat's off," he muttered, and he shut the door after him.

Calvin had ripped apart several doors with the Claw Car as he roared down the hallways attempting to find a way out.

Earl chased after Calvin, firing his Ray Gun and trying to get either Calvin or the one of the wheels.

Calvin jerked the wheel to the left, and used the claw to destroy the wall in front of him, as he burst into the cafeteria.

Earl screeched to a stop, and followed Calvin through the hole in the wall.

Alien Bus boys and waiters dove from the way, as Calvin destroyed the dinner meat loaf.

Which consisted of things so disgusting, I wont even bother to mention it.

Calvin drew the claw backward and destroyed the wall in front of him, then started to roar down the hallway again.

Earl emerged from the wreckage, ray gun blasting, wildly.

Calvin looked over his shoulder.

"Geez doesn't this guy ever quit?" he asked impatiently.

Calvin slammed on the brakes, and spun the car around, and suddenly went screaming towards Earl.

"Oops," Earl said, as the claw reached down to eye level.

Earl did the only thing he could do; he collapsed to the ground, and became flat.

The Claw Car went right over him.

After the car had past, Earl leaped back up and blasted his ray gun again.

ZEEE-AAAAP!

Earl had blasted the hubcap and the rubber off of the left back wheel.

"YIKES!" Calvin yelled, as the car collapsed on one side and started throwing up sparks on the hard steel floor.

Earl ran after Calvin, who was slowing down, and blasted the ray gun, again.

ZAP!

The right front wheel then exploded outward, and that side collapsed.

SCREEEEEEE!

Having only two wheels left, one left front one and right back one, the car couldn't keep going.

Calvin totally lost control of the car as it swerved from side to side, then crashed into the wall.

CRASH!

The impact sent Calvin flying out of the seat, and landed in a chute.

The Claw Car was rendered useless at the moment, so Earl rushed past it, and leaped into the chute.

Only it wasn't a chute. It was a tunnel.

Earl went tumbling down the winding tunnel, and slowly, Calvin screams started getting louder.

Earl regained his balance, and began to lean forward and go faster.

Soon, Calvin's blonde head started to show, and Calvin's screaming was louder than ever.

Earl reached out his hands, and grabbed Calvin by the head.

"Gotchya!"

Suddenly, the tunnel came to a fork; Calvin and Earl were ripped apart as both went down a different tunnel.

"I don't gotchya," Earl muttered.

Calvin's tunnel quickly lead to air vent, and he collapsed into the small square tunnel.

Earl's tunnel lead to the laundry chute, and he collapsed into a heap of uniforms and T-shirts saying "I love Zok".

Calvin blinked and started climbing through the air duct and looking for an exit.

Earl muttered and grumbled, and climbed out of the basket.


Later, Calvin was hiding out inside a crate. He was watching the aliens pass by. He figured he'd be safe there until help came. He hoped that Hobbes had seen he was gone, and was searching for him with Andy, Galaxoid and Nebular. If Sherman and Socrates were helping him, it would astound him.

It was then that he saw into a room and saw a strange-looking device. He knew what it was because he had stolen it from one of Rupert's ship during their last adventure. It was a video camera, but it was from Zok, so it was more up-to-date. He also saw Retro was setting it up while Rupert stood in front of it.

"What are they doing?" he wondered quietly.

Earl suddenly arrived.

"I've teleported the transmitters that were required to Earth," he said.

Calvin was feeling the urge to reveal himself and attack him, but he thought better of it. As Spaceman Spiff, he had learned that it was important to learn about the enemy's plan before attacking.

"Good," said Rupert. "We should be getting a call from him any minute now."

Calvin arched an eyebrow. Who was 'him'?

Just then, the little phone on Rupert's belt rang.

"That must be him now," he said, pressing the button. Retro and Earl got in close. "Hello?" he asked.

"Rupert?" a voice said.

Calvin realized the voice sounded similar to his own, but a bit more gruff.

"I have received the transmitters you sent and hooked them all up. Your message will be transmitted to every television in world," the voice continued. "And as an added bonus, it'll be heard on some antique radio stations. Foreign countries who don't speak English shall have it translated for them."

"Good, good," said Rupert.

"And is that hamster's Earth Deteriorater set up properly?" asked Retro.

"It's all set for threatening."

"Excellent. And the camera is all set. We're ready to transmit."

"Okay. The minute you turn that camera on, all the televisions on this planet will turn on automatically, and the world will hear from you both."

"Well done, Evil Calvin," said Rupert. "You've been a good evil duplicate."

Calvin gasped.

"Those fiends!" he thought angrily. "They sent an evil clone of myself down to Earth and probably tricked Sherman into giving him his Radio Transmitting Planet Killer! And they're going to blackmail Earth! What'll I do!"

He decided to burst out and stop them.

But just as he'd leapt from the crate, Earl slammed the door shut and locked it.

Calvin wound up with a taste of metal in his mouth.

"Darn it," he muttered.

And inside, Retro pressed a red button, and then he scrambled in front to join the two aliens.

It was the broadcast that would change the world…


Mom and Dad were sitting in front of the TV, but it was turned off, and they were reading on the couch.

Suddenly, there was a CLICK and the television set turned on by itself.

Mom and Dad's heads shot up in surprise.

"Calvin, wherever you are, stop playing with the remote!" Dad shouted.

"Calvin's not here," said Mom. "I saw him run out the door earlier."

Just then, they saw three familiar faces appear on the screen.

It was Rupert, Earl and Retro.

"Hello, Earthlings," said Rupert slyly.

"Surprised to see us?" added Earl.

"You should be," said Retro.

Mom and Dad stared at the screen, stuttering incoherently.

"As you can see, we've taken over all your television stations, no matter what plan you have," said Rupert. "And it's all for a very good reason. Retro?"

Retro stepped forward. "Thanks, Rupert. As you know, I am Retro Griffin, creator of the Imaginator, and probably one of your worst nightmares. Upon meeting Rupert and Earl here, we decided to collaborate. On Earth, right now, our good friend has set up a special machine. His name is Evil Calvin, created by the Imaginator."

Mom and Dad gasped.

"Where's the real Calvin, you ask?" Earl said darkly. "Oh, he's somewhere on this ship. That dumb kid just keeps escaping. But when we do catch him, I swear we shall be merciless. And now, back to you Retro."

"Thanks, Earl," said Retro. "Anyway, Evil Calvin managed to steal Sherman J. Hamster's Planet Deteriorater, and it is currently set up to destroy your planet." Retro rejoined with the others.

"In short," Rupert concluded. "We want you all to be our slaves, and unless you do our bidding, we'll completely kill you all with the machine. Earth will be no more, unless you start to bow down."

Dad snorted. "We'll never bow down to you three!" he shouted at the screen.

"And for those of you who think you can just ignore us," Earl added, "Evil Calvin is going to come next. Evil Calvin?"

There was static for a moment on the screen, and then Evil Calvin appeared. He was holding a remote control that had wires running from it.

"Thanks, Earl. See this, Earth?" he shouted. "This is the remote that will kill you all. You know how easy it would be to destroy you all right now?"

Mom and Dad gulped.

"It's as easy as one…"

He pressed the first button.

"…two…"

He pressed the second button.

"…three!"

Right when he was about to press the final button, Mom and Dad dropped to their knees and chanted, "ALL HAIL RUPERT AND RETRO!"

In fact, right at that moment, a huge amount of the planet started to chant. Of course, some chanted "ALL HAIL RETRO AND RUPERT!"

The shot on the camera changed back to Retro, Rupert and Earl.

"Very good," said Rupert.

"Yes, very good," said Retro.

And they burst into a maniacal laughter.

Earl shrugged and joined in.