Back on Earth, Evil Calvin was currently living like a king. Despite not being leader, he was still able the get some benefits.
Right now, he was lying on his back in the living room of Calvin's house, and he was currently watching television.
He reached over and rang a little bell.
Mom, Dad, Susie and Moe ran inside.
"Yes, what do you want now?" Mom grunted.
"Fake Mom and Fake Dad," Evil Calvin ordered. "Go get me ice cream. Chocolate."
"Yes, fake son," Dad muttered.
"And make sure it's better than the stuff the ice cream vendor gave me three days ago. I still plan to sue him."
Mom and Dad walked towards the door.
"Boy, the real Calvin is bad enough, but this Calvin is something else," Dad whispered.
Unfortunately, Evil Calvin overheard.
"I HEARD THAT! JUST FOR THAT, WHEN YOU'VE RETURNED, I WANT YOU TO WATCH A POLKA MUSIC VIDEO!"
Mom and Dad groaned as they left for the supermarket.
Evil Calvin whipped around and glared at Susie and Moe.
They looked at him nervously.
"Marcie," he started.
"It's Susie," Susie snapped.
"I wasn't talking to you."
Moe growled. "It's Moe!"
"Yeah? Huh. Cut your hair. You look like a girl."
Susie had to hold Moe back from clobbering him.
"Ah, ah, ah!" Evil Calvin said teasingly. "Don't make me press this button."
He held up the remote that was connected to Sherman's machine.
Moe relented and backed off.
"Very good," Evil Calvin said, grinning evilly. "Now then, Mack—"
"Moe."
"Ginger. I want you to go and get five bottles of Pepsi. And make sure it's cold. Not hot. Cold. Cold, yes. Hot, no. Got it?"
"Yes, sir," Moe muttered. He made his way for the door.
"What did you want with me?" asked Susie.
"I just wanted to know a few things about the real Calvin," Evil Calvin said slyly. "What's he like?"
Susie looked disgusted. "Well, on the evil side of things, he could never amount to you."
"And…?"
"Well, he's constantly making up stories and junk, and bugging me, and throwing water balloons at me—"
"There's an idea."
Evil Calvin immediately hurled a water balloon at Susie, knocking her off her feet.
Susie's rage button had been pushed and she immediately went in for the kill.
"Not so fast!" Evil Calvin said, holding up the remote.
Susie screeched to a halt.
"Man, you are evil!" she grumbled.
"Why, thank you. Now back to work."
Susie stomped away, dripping wet.
Evil Calvin decided that while he waited for lunch, he would explore Calvin's room. He was disappointed to find that Hobbes had taken each invention. That tiger was smart. He'd taken it all: the time pauser, the MTM, the cardboard box, the wagon, the mini duplicator and the Transmogrifier gun.
"I wonder what the heck is going on up there," he muttered.
Hobbes, Socrates, Andy, Sherman, Galaxoid, Nebular and Bob started to sneak out of the storage room. They saw that there was no sign of the alien crew anywhere.
"Where do you suppose they are?" wondered Nebular.
"Probably somewhere on the top floor," said Bob. "Knowing them, they've probably already taken control over Earth by now."
"Do you know what they plan to do?" asked Hobbes.
"Well, in the Earth category, they plan to have giant monuments and statues erected of themselves. Then at noon, there will be a siren that shall tell everyone it's time to say, "I Pledge Allegiance to Retro and Rupert". The main foods will be imported freshly from Zok. Plus, the entire planet is going to be upgraded."
"Humph, they could have just come to me for upgrading," Sherman muttered.
"No thanks, Sherman," said Socrates sourly. "You've helped them out enough already."
Sherman looked away angrily.
"So how should we save Earth?" asked Andy.
"I suggest we get rid of Rupert, Retro and Earl," said Galaxoid. "If we can eliminate them, then there will be no threat, and Sherman can lock away his planet killer for good."
"Why did you invent it, anyway?" Bob asked Sherman.
"Oh, when you have spare parts lying around, you get the urge to experiment," said Sherman.
"Yeah, if you're from Loony Town," Socrates muttered.
"Come closer so that I may bite you."
Socrates backed away and rubbed his ear.
"Enough," said Hobbes. "Okay, before we left, I armed myself with several of Calvin's inventions, and despite being dangerous to mankind, they can help us out here."
He reached into an unknown area on his person and pulled out the hypercube. He reached in and pulled out several objects.
"This is the MTM," he said. "It can make you travel through time, but that won't help us here. Instead, it has a laser in it, as well as a hypercube of it's own."
He pulled out an unsharpened pencil.
"This is the Mini-Duplicator," he said. "I'm not sure if this is useful here, but just press the rubber end to make copies of everything."
Next, he pulled out a water pistol.
"This is the Transmogrifier Gun," he said. "It can change anything into whatever you think of. Use it wisely, though."
"Is there anything else?" asked Andy.
"Just a few other things for now. There's the cardboard box and the wagon, but I'll keep those handy for later."
Hobbes decided they should split up. Andy and Sherman would take one hall, armed with the Mini Duplicator. Hobbes and Socrates went another way, taking the hypercube. Galaxoid and Nebular went down a third hall, armed with the MTM. And Bob went down the last hall with the Transmogrifier Gun.
Each one was extremely tense.
Andy and Sherman snuck and crept around every single nook and cranny of the hall they'd been assigned.
"According to Hobbes, these aliens are complete and utter morons," said Andy. "So it shouldn't be too hard to beat one if they attack us."
"Should be no trouble," decided Sherman. "I just wish we had something better than a Mini Duplicator. What good would it do us?"
They peeked around a corner and carried on.
"Calvin?" Andy hissed.
"Calvin?" Sherman whispered.
"Come out; come out, wherever you are."
Suddenly, they heard voices further down the hall.
"Uh-oh!" cried Sherman. "We gotta disappear, and quick!"
It was too late for that, because they could already see the silhouettes of aliens approaching.
Andy and Sherman had never seen the aliens before, so they wound up panicking and turning around. Sherman clung to Andy's shoulder as they did.
Unfortunately, Andy tripped in the process, and they fell to the floor.
BOOM!
Andy and Sherman closed their eyes and prepared for the worst.
But the worst never came.
When they looked up, they saw five aliens were standing at the front of the hall, frozen in mid step.
"That's odd," Sherman commented.
Andy got to his feet and scratched his head in confusion.
"What just happened?" he pondered.
They slowly approached the aliens, but the aliens didn't react at all.
Andy put his hands in his pockets, and felt a small cylindrical object.
"Hey, I still have Calvin's time pauser!" he exclaimed. "I must have landed on it."
"Well, well. It would appear that your inability to remember anything has paid off," Sherman commented.
Andy glared at him.
"Just for that, you don't get the new hamster treats when we get home," he said sternly.
"Aw, come on!" Sherman squeaked. "I was just kidding."
Andy rolled his eyes. He was the only one who could ever reduce Sherman to the hamster he really was.
They scurried past the aliens, and once they had passed them all, Andy pressed the button on the time pauser again, and time resumed.
BOOM!
The aliens carried on, not suspecting a thing.
Andy and Sherman resumed searching.
Galaxoid and Nebular were searching down a bunch of corridors. There was no sign of Calvin, which was bad, and there were no signs of Retro, Rupert, Earl, or any other alien, which was good.
"There's no way we'll find the Earth Potentate around here," said Galaxoid. "This ship is huge!"
It was then that they came to a section that divided off into two different paths.
"Which way should we go?" asked Nebular.
"We'll go left first," said Galaxoid. "If it's not the right way, then we'll come back and go right."
Agreeing to this, the two of them started to venture down the left corridor.
"You know, it's strange," said Nebular.
"What is?" asked Galaxoid.
"The fact that nobody seems to know that Calvin is the Supreme Earth Potentate. Plus, the fact that a six-year-old boy is the leader of a planet is also a bit odd."
"And then there's the fact that he is constantly denying that he is the Earth leader."
They paused for a brief moment.
"You don't suppose…?" Galaxoid started.
"…that he lied to us?" finished Nebular.
"That does sound like something he would do."
They were so busy talking that didn't read the name on the door they were passing through.
It read CAFETERIA.
When Galaxoid and Nebular entered, they saw a rather torn up cafeteria, and it was currently being rebuilt after Calvin's rampage with the claw-car.
Earl was supervising the operation.
"Keep at it!" he shouted. "It's either that, or death row for all of you!"
Galaxoid and Nebular gulped.
"Do we go back?" Galaxoid asked.
"We go back," said Nebular.
But the door screeched when they opened it again.
The noise drew the attention of Earl.
He recognized the two aliens on the spot.
"IT'S GALAXOID AND NEBULAR!" he shouted angrily. "SEIZE THOSE TRAITORS!"
But the aliens didn't move.
Earl saw a bell on the wall, and he started to bang it really loud and really fast.
"LUNCH TIME!" the entire ship shouted.
Aliens started to run towards the cafeteria doors, stampeding towards Galaxoid and Nebular.
With Earl on one side and a band of idiot, yet strong, aliens on the other, they had nowhere to go.
"QUICK! THE MTM!" shouted Galaxoid.
Nebular whipped out the MTM and hit the button labeled REWIND.
Everything suddenly started to go backwards, and Nebular didn't release the button until he and Galaxoid were back at that fork in the hallway.
"Phew!" said Nebular. "That was close."
"What was close?" asked Galaxoid.
Nebular realized that Galaxoid had been rewound as well, so he simply said, "How about we go right?" he said.
"Very well."
So they went down the right (and I really mean right) hallway.
Hobbes and Socrates tiptoed down the hallway. Everything looked super-spooky, due to the fact that their hall had several rooms on either side, and each one had electricity crackling from behind it.
"This place is starting to scare me," Socrates whispered.
"This place started scaring me the minute we got here," Hobbes replied.
Suddenly, they saw a strange shape looming just ahead. They inched closer. When they realized it wasn't an alien, they knew it was safe to approach.
"Wow!" exclaimed Hobbes. "It's Retro's Claw-Car! Looks like someone did some damage to it."
"Yes," said a familiar voice. "Your punk human friend did it."
Hobbes and Socrates froze. They slowly turned around and saw Retro. There he was, with all his Three Stooges haircut glory. Behind him was a band of aliens.
"Oh, it's Larry!" teased Socrates. "Which of those creatures behind you are Curly and Mo?"
"Ix-nay on the ease-tay," Hobbes hissed.
"And who is this?" Retro asked slyly.
"Huh? Oh, right. Retro, this is Socrates. Socrates, this is Retro. Now that we got that out of the way, maybe we should…"
Hobbes turned to face his feline comrade, but found that he had vanished.
"Hey, I'm supposed to be the one that vanishes and leaves the other hanging!" he shouted. "Now I know how Calvin feels when I do it to him."
It was then that Hobbes realized that the hypercube was gone as well.
"That no good pranking idiot!" Hobbes thought frantically. "He left me without a defense! I can't pounce an alien."
Suddenly, the Claw-Car turned on. Hobbes jumped away as the claw suddenly swung around and got Retro in its clutches!
"HEY!" Retro shouted. "Hey, let me go!"
"He says that like he actually expects us to do it," said Biff.
Hobbes looked into the claw-car (it was a convertible; no roof) and saw that Socrates was working the mechanical arm.
"Seriously, can we keep this?" he asked.
"Let's get out of here!" Hobbes shouted.
Hobbes and Socrates tore down the hall.
"After them!" Retro ordered.
The aliens, figuring that if they could get Retro off their case, scurried after the two tigers.
Socrates looked over his shoulder and saw them. He reached into the hypercube and pulled out a spray-can.
"What's that?" shouted Hobbes.
"Aerosol Cheese!" Socrates replied.
Hobbes quickly drew ahead as Socrates held the can over his head, the nozzle end facing the aliens. He pressed the applicator tip and cheddar-flavored aerosol flew everywhere.
The aliens slipped on the stuff and fell down, causing a fifty alien pileup in the middle of the hall.
"And it's also an excellent source of calcium!" Socrates shouted.
He and Hobbes exchanged a high five and hurried around the corner.
Bob, with the Transmogrifier Gun in his pocket, cautiously searched for Calvin. He was hoping he wouldn't see any aliens around him.
Unfortunately, fate can be cruel, because he rounded a corner and ran into Rupert.
"Ah, Bob, there you are," he said. "Where have you been?"
Bob grew extremely nervous right then and there.
"I was, er, in the storage room down below," he said.
"What on Earth for?"
"Um, well, Calvin stole Retro's Claw-Car, and he was tearing up the place, and Earl was already going after him, so I just hid down there until—"
"You're always hiding!" Rupert snarled. "Come on! Be a man! You need to show some courage once in a while."
"Well, that's hard to do when Retro and Calvin are the only ones here who are my actual species."
Rupert sighed. "Fine, fine. Just keep searching for the Earth Potentate."
"I intend to, sir."
Rupert slithered away.
Bob glared after him. "Oh, this isn't over, Chill," he hissed. "It's FAR…from ove-ah!"
Calvin was grumbling in the cell. There was no guard this time, so there was no one to fool. He kept hoping that Bob would come out of his hiding place and help him, but he had no way of knowing whether or not he had officially become good or not.
"What I need is to get in contact with Hobbes," he thought. "The only way I can do that is to send a message through Socrates' brain, but how can I do that?"
It was then that saw a transmitter in the corner of the room.
"Wow, that was convenient," he thought. "But how do I get to it?"
Then he spotted an iron pole. It was probably at least seven feet long, he assumed. That was a good measurement.
He took the pole and went to the bars of the cell. He stretched his arm as far as he could. The pole caught onto the coil of the phone. He caught the pole in the loop, and then reeled it in.
Once he had a dial tone, he took the pole again, and this time proceeded to dial a number.
"Let's see…," he said. "What was it again…? Oh yeah! 9……8……4……6……2!"
There was a brief beeping noise.
Hobbes and Socrates were wandering around still, when suddenly, Socrates jumped up into the air, landed on his tail, spun around, closed his eyes and put his hands up.
Hobbes jumped in surprise.
"Incoming transmission from Cell #291," said Socrates in a high-tech voice. "Location of the call: Rupert's Space Ship."
"Hmm, not often we get a local call," Hobbes commented.
It was then a voice came on that he'd been wanting to hear for days.
"Hello!" shouted Calvin. "Hobbes? Socrates? Anyone?"
"CALVIN!" Hobbes nearly shouted. He looked around and saw he hadn't attracted anyone's attention.
"Hobbes!" Calvin exclaimed.
"Calvin, we've been looking everywhere for you!" Hobbes hissed. "We came all the way to Rupert's ship to look for you!"
"Oh! So you already know that I was replaced by an evil clone, and that Rupert, Retro, Earl and Bob are working together?"
"We know everything!"
"Who are we?"
"Me, Socrates, Andy, Sherman, Galaxoid and Nebular. We're all on the ship looking for you. And we've got Bob on our side!"
"Good! I'm in a cell block on the top floor. Get up here fast."
"Don't worry, pal. We're on our way."
Calvin hung up.
Socrates' high-tech voice came back. "Resume normal functions in three, two, ATCHOO!"
Socrates wiped his nose and looked around. "I need to see a doctor about my fainting problem," he muttered.
"Quick!" said Hobbes. "I know where Calvin is! I, er, heard some aliens talking about him! He's in a cell on the top floor!"
"Then let's go get him!" said Socrates. "I've been waiting to prank him for days."
So they quickly rounded up Andy, Sherman, Galaxoid, Nebular and Bob, and they hurried to the top floor.
