Rupert, Earl, and Retro looked around.

Then they realized that time had been stopped.

Earl made a dive for Nebular and the Time Pauser.

"YEEEK!" Nebular screamed, diving from the way.

He tossed the Time Pauser through the air.

It twirled around in the air for a second, and then landed in the soil of the planet, sending black dust everywhere.

There was a moment of silence.

Then, everyone made a dive for the Pauser at the same time.

Dust went everywhere as the three villains and eight heroes fought over the…

It was then that everyone realized what they were fighting over.

You thought it was the Time Pauser, right?

No.

Do you know what they were punching, kicking, and slamming into each other for?

A rock.

A stupid, lousy, completely unimportant to this story rock.

There was an awkward moment of silence, as everyone stared at the rock that Calvin was trying to use to start time back up.

Huh boy.

Then, all eyes fell on the yellow device that sat two feet away from where they were now.

I will say no more on the subject of rocks.

Calvin was the first to stop gawking at the Time Pauser like one of Earl's crew, and made a mad dive for it.

He grabbed it off the ground, and ran off with it, laughing like a lunatic.

"STOP HIM!" Rupert screamed.

Rupert, Earl, and Retro ran off after Calvin.

Hobbes ran off next with Socrates.

Followed shortly by Galaxoid, Nebular, Bob, Andy and Sherman in that order.

Rupert and Earl fired their ray guns at Calvin, as he continued to run.

Calvin and Hobbes made a dive for Sherman's spaceship.

They made it.

Calvin looked around, fanatically, and then slammed his fist into the shield button.

ZZZZZZT!

A red dome appeared around Sherman's spaceship.

Rupert, Earl and Retro ran up to it and began shooting at it wildly with their ray guns.

The blasts bounced off the dome and landed in the ground blasting it up.

Calvin put the Time Pauser on the desk and tried to catch his breath.

"OK," he panted. "We have Retro, Rupert and Earl in time stop. Now what?"

"Well, we better get Bob, Socrates, Andy, Sherman, Galaxoid and Nebular in the ship before Rupert or Retro blows them up," Hobbes said.

"Right," Calvin muttered.

He ran to the laser controls, and began firing at Rupert, Retro and Earl.

"AAAA!" the three villains screamed leaping from the way, as red blasts sent the ground exploding outward.

"Uh, how is that going to get them in here?" Hobbes asked.

"It won't," Calvin said. "I just wanted to use the lasers."

Hobbes' eyes rolled into the back of his head.

Calvin turned back to the controls, and raised the ship into the air.

Then, Calvin realized that the ship didn't have one of those "beam us up" things.

As you can imagine, he was outraged.

"THAT DUMB HAMSTER BUILT IN A SHIELD, LASERS, AND HIGH TECH LAVA PROOF METAL, BUT HE CAN'T PUT IN A STUPID BEAMER!"

Hobbes sighed.

Meanwhile, Bob, Galaxoid, Nebular and so on all hid in several different places.

And, the shield in the ship wore off.

It went off, in other words, and Rupert spotted the weakened dome.

ZZZZZAP!

"YAAAAAAAAAAH!" Calvin and Hobbes screamed as the ship went spiraling for the ground.

A warning light went off, and started blinking, and the word WARNING flashed across the screen.

CRASH!

Black dust went flying everywhere.

"YES!" Rupert screamed, as he, Earl, and Retro ran over to the ship.

Calvin and Hobbes grabbed the Time Pauser and rushed out of the control room, as Rupert burst in.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are," Rupert growled, dangerously, holding up his ray gun.

Calvin and Hobbes rushed down the darkened hallways as lights flickered on and off, and they moved closer to the emergency exit.

As they rounded a corner, one of the doors in the hallway exploded outward, and Earl slithered into the control room, cutting his glowing compound eyes to side to side.

Calvin and Hobbes finally reached the Emergency Exit.

Calvin pulled and tugged at the door.

It was stuck.

"Where arrrrrrrrre you?" Retro's voice asked, and a long shadow with goofy sticks for sideburns loomed over the hallway and started for the door.

Calvin pulled and tugged desperately at the door, but it wouldn't budge.

Then, Hobbes held up the Hypercube, which he had been holding in his hand for fifteen minutes.

Seconds passed as Calvin's eyes went from Hobbes to the Hypercube then back to Hobbes.

"You're amazing," Calvin spat, grabbing the box away from him.

Calvin stuck his hand into it, and then pulled out the MTM.

He activated the laser, and blasted a hole into the exit just as Retro rounded the corner.

"AH HA!" Retro screamed.

"Not in the mood, Larry!" Calvin screamed, spinning around and aiming the MTM at him.

Electricity started to gather at the MTM's tip.

Retro's eyes popped open, and he exclaimed, "HUH!"

BOOOM!

Retro went flying backward and slammed into the wall.

Calvin quickly deactivated the laser, and he and Hobbes rushed out the exit.

Rupert came running up to Retro and stared at him.

Retro's goofy, Three Stooges haircut was now sticking straight up in the air, and had little sparks of electricity flying off it.

Rupert made some weird sound through his nose, and slapped a hand on his mouth.

Retro glared at him and pushed his hair back into its usual style.


Meanwhile, Calvin and Hobbes had run out the ship, and were now looking for Andy, Sherman, Socrates, Bob, Galaxoid and Nebular.

They found them hiding in a cave.

"Alright!" Calvin yelled. "Hurry! Let's restart time, and trap them!"

Without another word, everyone gathered around Calvin, and Calvin picked up the Time Pauser.

Calvin's thumb was inches from the red button when……

ZZAAAAAAP!

"AAAAA!" Calvin screamed, as a blast of red energy blasted the Time Pauser out of his hand, and it landed several feet away.

Calvin, Hobbes, and everyone else spun around.

Rupert, Earl, and Retro were moving for Calvin and Hobbes in a long trot, deep glares covered their faces.

Everyone stared, petrified at the approaching villains.

Rupert, Earl, and Retro all walked up in front of the heroes and stopped.

Rupert held up his ray gun.

"All right, Earth Potentate," Rupert growled. "We are done fooling around. Goodbye. Forever!"

Calvin glared at Rupert.

"For the final time! I……AM…NOT…THE…EARTH…POTENTATE!"

Everyone stared at him.

Retro rolled his eyes around.

Rupert stared at Calvin.

"Really?" he asked. "If you're not the Earth Potentate, then how come we've been spending months trying to destroy you?"

Calvin blinked.

"Ya know, I had been wondering that, too," he said. "And I just came to the conclusion that you're just a bunch of weirdoes."

Rupert's eyes narrowed.

He and Earl cocked their ray guns.

"We still don't believe you," Rupert growled. "Unless you come up with some kind of miraculous proof in the next five seconds, you're dust!"

There was a moment of silence.

"Nope," Calvin said finally. "Can't think of anything."

"In that case……"

Rupert held up his ray gun.

"Goodbye."

This whole time, Galaxoid had been flipping through a Planet Field Guide he conveniently had, and finally came to the page he was looking for.

He tossed the book in Rupert's direction.

Before Rupert fired, the book landed in his face.

"OOF!" he screamed.

He grabbed the book, and prepared to rip it apart, when his eyes caught the page it was on.

He lifted the book up.

His compound eyes scanned the page.

"Earl. Come here," Rupert said, calmly.

Earl slithered past the sweating Retro and up to Rupert.

Both aliens read the page.

Earth

Oh hi there. Earth is a planet. It has one moon. It's also seventy percent water. Or maybe it was eighty percent. I forgot. It has a population of five point eight billion. It's most popular restaurant is McDonald's Hamburgers, it's the most obsolete and stupidest planet of them all, and…get ready for the shocker here: Earth is the only planet in the entire universe without a dictator / king / potentate. Pretty weird, huh?

There was a long, throbbing moment of silence.

Rupert's eyes went from Calvin to the book then back to Calvin.

Earl's eyes blanked out.

Retro covered his head.

Calvin crossed his arms and grinned smugly.

"He's not the… But we had… He had… You mean to tell me that we wasted all our time trying to destroy you when Earth was already unprotected!" Earl stammered.

Calvin nodded.

There was another moment of silence.

"Well…," said Bob. "This is awkward, huh? Oh, yeah… Reeeaall awkward."

"I knew we shouldn't have trusted those dunderheads," Rupert growled, glaring at Galaxoid and Nebular.

Then, Rupert and Earl's eyes shot at Retro like bullets.

"You told us nothing about Calvin not being the Earth King," Rupert hissed.

Retro's eyes went from one angry alien face to the other.

"You wanted me to tell you?" he asked nervously.

Two sets of compound eyes stared at the mad scientist.

"Well, if we had a stupid idea that Calvin was the Earth Potentate, maybe you could have kept us from making idiots of ourselves!" Earl yelled.

Retro blinked.

"Uh…"

Bob sighed. He was really glad he'd gone to the good side when he did.

Rupert spun back to Calvin.

"And as for you! Why didn't you tell us we were chasing you for no reason?"

"I did."

"Why didn't you tell us we weren't listening to you?"

"I did."

Rupert blinked.

"You're all idiots," he concluded. "We're getting rid of you, once and for all!"

Earl pointed his ray gun at Retro, and Rupert pointed his Ray gun at Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, Sherman, Socrates, Bob, Galaxoid and Nebular.

Then, Socrates grabbed the Time Pauser and flung it at Calvin.

Calvin caught it, then, with a grin on his face, he prepared to hit the button.

Rupert, Earl, and Retro froze.

"What are you doing with that?" Rupert asked calmly.

"I'm trapping you in Time Stop," Calvin grinned. "After I hit this button, we'll never hear from you again!"

Rupert, Earl, and Retro all stared at Calvin.

Then, Rupert started laughing.

"You actually think that's going to work! When you pop back into your little time stop world, we'll destroy you!"

"Wrong again!" Calvin laughed. "For you see, we are all trapped in a specific spot in time. And I'm not just talking about milliseconds. I'm talking about something much shorter! Once I hit this button, time will begin up again, and you will be frozen in this spot in time. When I hit the button again, you won't be there, because it's a different spot in time!"

Calvin then wiped some sweat from his brow and sighed.

"Wow. That was a long speech."

Rupert, Earl, and Retro continued to stare at Calvin.

Then Rupert whipped his Ray gun out and fired it before Calvin could react.

ZAAAP!

"AAAAAAA!" everyone screamed.

They all grabbed onto Calvin.

Calvin held the Time Pauser up, and hit the button.

BOOOOOOOOOOM!

A white shockwave exploded from the group of heroes, and went out in all directions.

The blast of hot energy that was flying for Calvin halted in midair, inches from Calvin's nose.

Then, the blast seemed to implode.

Dust and wind started blowing everywhere.

Rupert, Earl, and Retro's eyes were all locked in a look of shock and anger.

Then, they faded away and time started back up.

Earl vanished. Retro vanished. Rupert made one last attempt to grab Calvin. Then he vanished.

An eerie silence filled Creak's atmosphere.

They were all gone.

Rupert Chill was gone.

Retro Griffin was gone.

Earl…uh…Earl was gone.

And this time, it was forever.

Calvin blinked.

"Wow," he said. "That was even more dramatic than the lava scene."

Sherman hopped out of the cave, and looked around.

"HEY!" he screamed. "YOU LEFT MY SPACESHIP IN TIME STOP!"

Calvin walked out and looked around.

"Well, I had wrecked it anyway," he said.

"Hey look!" Galaxoid said, as he and the rest came out. "Rupert's spaceship is still here! It didn't go into Time Stop like the other ships!"

"Hot dog!" Socrates yelled. "I hope they have more idiotically written Field Guides!"

And with that, he rushed onto the ship.

Calvin, Hobbes, and the rest followed.

"Didn't Rupert say that he had left Earl's crew on Zok's moon, Bomb?" Hobbes asked.

"Yes, he did," Calvin said. "And that gives me an idea."

Quickly, Calvin rushed over to the communication system, and pushed the button.

"Calling Earl's crew! Calling Earl's crew! Come in, dumbbells!"

Then, the voice of Lace the alien came on.

"Oh, hi there!" he said.

"This is Earl, your ship captain! Not Calvin! EARL!"

"Neato," Lace said.

Calvin put a hand behind his head, and he leaned back in Earl's chair.

"I've been considering my life, and I've decided to take up a new occupation!"

"Really?" Lace said. "What is it?"

Calvin's eyes blanked out.

"Uh……professional……golfing."

There was a moment of silence.

Then, Lace said, "Oh! You finally decided to take my advice!"

Calvin sighed.

"Yes," he said.

"Huh," Lace said. "Usually you shove me in the air vent whenever I mention it."

"Right," Calvin muttered. "Now, tell the rest of the crew to start new lives without me. Or Rupert."

"What about that guy with the white sticks coming out of his head?"

"He's taken up golfing too," Calvin said, starting to get impatient.

"WHOO HOO!" screamed Lace and several other aliens who were listening in.

"Now listen up, you little dummies!" Calvin yelled. "I want you to go back to Zok right now, go straight to the Want Ads in your newspapers, and register for jobs from anyone who's stupid enough to hire you!"

"Oh boy!" Lace yelled excitedly. "I can't wait to get started! Can I be a plumber?"

"BE WHATEVER YOU WANT!" Calvin finally screamed. "JUST GET OUT OF MY HAIR!"

"You don't have hair."

Calvin hung up.

"That was smooth," Hobbes said.

Calvin ignored him.

"Why didn't you just have them destroyed?" asked Andy.

"Andrew, my dear boy," said Calvin. "Dave, Erne, Alex, Carl, Jack, Alfred, Luke, Lace, Biff, Lenny, Jay, Zack and Tim are just like our good friend Bob here."

Everyone glanced at Bob, who was looking confused.

Calvin explained. "They were all good guys in truth, but they were just working with the wrong crowd. And I believe that Planet Zok will be better off without a king anyway."

"True, true," agreed Hobbes.

The others nodded in agreement.

"Alright," Calvin said. "We have disposed of Retro, Rupert, and Earl for good, and we've taken care of Earl's crew. Do you know what we need to do now?"

Everyone stared at him.

"No," Socrates said.

Calvin sighed.

"We have to go back to Earth and defeat my evil, yet extremely handsome, counterpart, you morons."

"Ah," Socrates considered. "I'd almost forgotten about him."

"Right," Calvin said.

And with that, he turned to the ship controls.

"Earth, here we come!" Calvin grinned, activating the rocket boosters, and then lifting off the moon.

Calvin set the ship coordinates for Earth, and they blasted off, sending dust everywhere.

That probably wasn't the smartest thing they ever did.