I raced up to the side of the car, and snapped at its wheels.

Just then, the back window rolled down and something stuck its head out.

GOOD GRIEF!

Do you know what it was?

It was a terrible orange striped Cat Monster!

Yes, a cat monster!

And it growled at me.

Oh and did I mention the teeth? Razor sharp teeth! Dripping with blood! Probably from it's last victim!

Have we discussed cats and monsters?

I don't like either one. Have no use for them at all, and put together...

I, uh, altered course so to speak.

I mean who wouldn't have?

I mean, for all I knew, that car was probably FULL of terrible Cat Monsters ready to take over the ranch!

I took no chances.

When the cat monster took his eyes off me, I, tee hee, lunged at it with teeth lasers.

Boy, you should have seen him.

That CM's eyes bulged, and he rolled up the window as fast as he could.

Yes sir, he wanted nothing of the Head of Ranch Security.

When the car began to slow down, I stopped with the teeth lasers on the tires.

I raced up to the front gate, and sent a barrage of barks right at that car!

Yes sir.

I did a good job, and that's probably why that car screeched to a halt right in front of me.

I heard the driver say something.

What was it?

Oh yes.

"Stupid dog! Got in front of the stupid idiotic car, almost got run over... IDIOT!"

Obviously he was impressed by the mightiness of my mightiness.

Loper stepped out of house and walked up to the car.

"May I help you?" He asked the driver.

"Yes." said the driver. "A friend of yours sent me here. Slim?"

"Oh yeah." Said Loper. "Yes, he's my hired hand."

"I know." Said the driver. "He said I could stay here during my business trip."

Loper's eyes bulged.

"HE WHAT!"

I didn't hear the rest of the conversation, because, at that very moment, I noticed, the back seat door was opening up.

Do see the clues here?

Here, check this out.

Clue #1: A strange car bearing a driver appears on the ranch.

Clue #2: This particular car held a strange creature that we only knew as the Cat Monster.

Clue #3: and most finally, the CM was in the back seat. To which was opening up right now!

Yes, unless I'm badly mistaken, THAT CAT MONSTER WAS EXITING THE CAR, AND ENTERING THE RANCH!

I couldn't let this happen!

I sent out a barrage of barks.

These were the kind of barks that made enemy radar whither and explode before your very eyes!

The kind of barks that sent enemy armies scattering in fear and terror!

He kind of barks...

"HANK! SHUT UP THAT BARKING, OR YOU'LL BE PULLING BULLETS OUT OF YOUR FACE FOR WEEKS!"

umm... gulp. Yes sir.

Ok, I, uh, canceled the extreme barks.

The Cat Monster stepped out of the car, almost as if it was his own ranch.

He took a deep breath of... well air, of course.

What else would he... skip it.

I sent up a growl at the CM.

It stared at me for a long moment.

Then he said (and this is a direct quote) he said, "Calvin! Come look at this! It's hilarious!"

A small boy stepped out of the car, and stared at me.

He burst out laughing.

"Hobbes! That dog's so scared, that every hair on his body is standing up!"

The CM, Hobbes, I guess he was called, laughed harder and gasped "I know! HA, HA, HA!"

I was insulted.

Never in my whole life...

"HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!"

OK! That did it!

I would now be forced to... um... step back a few steps.

I mean, it's no disgrace to take a couple steps... three steps... ok, several steps backward.

And it had nothing to do about being scared!

I mean... no reason to rush into things.

Waste makes haste... Wast makes Haste... HASTE MAKES WASTE, shall we say, and I didn't want to waste anything.

I mean... skip it.

Where was I?

Oh yes, I was stepping backward a few steps and it had nothing to do with so called fear.

The one called Hobbes took a step toward me.

"BOO!" He yelled.

That must have been some kind of code word.

I decided to ignore it.

The driver of the car stepped out of the car along with another woman.

"Alright, I'll take you in, but you have to sleep on couch. Sally May doesn't have any extra beds."said Loper.

"Fine with me." said the man.

Loper grumbled, and headed for the house.

"CALVIN! Stay away from that dog, you don't know it!"

The short boy, Calvin, rolled his eyes and walked away.

Hobbes followed.

I took this opportunity to, um, make a run for it, shall we say.

I ran around to the back of the yard.

Would you like to guess who or whom I met there?

Drover.

"What are you doing back here? You should be marking those tires."

"Nope, not me! I saw a tiger in there!"

"Drover, that wasn't a tiger. It was a terrible cat monster who invaded the ranch!"

"I'll be derned. What's a cat monster?"

"It's a crossbreed between monsters and cats, Drover"

"looked like a tiger to me."

I stared at him.

"It wasn't a tiger! It was horrible..."

Just then... Pete showed up.

Have I mentioned that when a cat comes into my sight, I growl?

No kidding. And it's with no conscious effort on my part.

Pete grinned and walked up to me.

"Mmmmm, hello, Hankie. Did you see the tiger that came onto the ranch?"

My gaze moved from Pete to Drover, then back to Pete.

"What is all this about a TIGER on the ranch, kitty? I saw a vicious Cat Monster!"

Pete grinned. "Well then, I guess there ISN'T a tiger on the ranch. I mean, who can argue with the Head of Ranch Security?"

"You're being sarcastic, Pete! Don't bother to deny it! And I'll have you know that was a CAT MONSTER! And I gave him a sound thrashing."

The cat's eyes widened.

"MMMMMMM! Oh really? Well, that's not what I saw."

I snorted a laugh.

"Ok, Pete, Just for laughs, what DID you see?"

"I saw you..." A dumb grin spread across his face. "Run away like a cheetah on the hunt."

I stared at the stupid... uh... the cat.

I laughed.

"HA, HA, HA, HA! Pete, that's the dumbest thing you've said since the last dumb thing you said. A cheetah? On the hunt? HA! HA! HA! HA!"

Pete grinned.

"Yes, one bystander, might think that you look a little..." He batted his eyes. "Stupid."

HUH!

My lips raised revealing inch long fangs.

"You'd best take that back, kitty, or there's likely to be cat all over the ranch!"

He batted his eyes again, and said, "Mmmmmm, make me."

Make him, huh? I'll make him! I'll make him a pie is what I'LL make him!

I leaped right into the middle of the cat.

I buried him.

However, he didn't stay buried.

Helanded a one lucky punch.

Two lucky punches.

Several lucky punches.

Sigh.

Ok, he did a pretty good job chainsawing my face off.

But I soon got the upper hand, and ran him up a tree.

HA, HA!

"AND LET THAT BE A LESSON TO YOU, CAT! THE NEXT TIME YOU FELL LIKE INSULTING THE HEAD OF RANCH SECURITY, MAYBE YOU'LL THINK OTHERWISE!"

"Maybe." He said. "or maybe I won't. I had a good time with your face, Hankie, we'll have to do it again, sometime."

Through my half missing lips I spat, "SHUT UP, CAT!" whirled around, and marched proudly down to the Gas Tanks.

There I met the short boy.

What was his name?

Oh yeah, Calvin.

Calvin appeared to be studying our office complex.

And the CM was no where to be seen.

Hobbes. Might as well call them by their names.

"What the heck is THIS!" Calvin yelled. "A potato sack? They expect the dogs to sleep on potato sacks! HA! Hobbes! C'mere!"

Uh oh.

Hobbes came rushing up.

"THEY EXPECT THE DOGS TO SLEEP UNDER A GAS TANK, ON POTATO SACKS!"

They started laughing again.

That seemed odd. I sure didn't see anything funny about it.

"Wow!" said Hobbes. "A dog has his pride I'm sure, but gunnysacks?"

They burst out laughing again.

"Whoo." Calvin sighed. "It's times like this, that I'm happy I got a tiger instead of dog."

HUH!

Uh... ok.

What we had here was... I had never really believed that Hobbes was a Cat Monster! Ha, ha.

No.

I had known that he was a tiger all along...

I mean...

skip it.