WHACK!
The ball collided right into the middle of my face!
"SCORE!" Calvin screamed. "THE CALVINBALL LANDED IN THE SCORE ZONE!"
Drover stared at me.
"What happened?" he asked.
I spit the volleyball out of my mouth, and glared at him.
"He threw the volleyball in my face, you tuna!"
"He did?"
"He did!" I spat. "And furthermore..."
He did it again.
BONK!
I went flying backwards into the dirt.
They were now running around the horse pasture, throwing the ball around, and shouting out new rules.
I was, well, you might say, outraged!
I mean, who or whom did he think he was?
Had he no respect for the Head of Ranch Security?
WHACK!
No, I don't think so.
Do you know why?
Because he threw the stupid ball at my face, again!
Well, I never...
WHACK!
I didn't have to take this.
I jacked myself up, held my nose at a proud angle, and marched away.
I would allow them to continue to engage in their foolish...
WHACK!
I zoomed away.
After I was out of range, I began marching, again.
I marched up to the Gas Tanks and spotted...
AH HA!
A cat!
Yes, I saw Pete the Barncat licking himself next to the feed barn.
Well, I was real angry about the volleyball incident, and I decided that Pete would cheer me up a bit.
Tee hee.
I snuck up behind him, and jumped him.
"LOOK OUT PETE! I CAN'T STOP THIS THING!"
CRASH!
"MREEEOOOOOW! HISSSSSSS!"
Hee hee.
I buried him.
Only, he didn't stay buried.
He turned on his chainsaw mode, and started buzzing me with his claws.
And yes, he did much damage to my face.
And yes, he got out from my massive paws, and got more blows in.
And yes, he somehow climbed up on top of my back, and started buzzsawing that.
The good news, though, was that I bucked him off, and ran him up a tree.
Through my bleeding lips, I screamed, "TAKE THAT! THAT'S FOR GIVING OUT FAULTY INFORMATION ABOUT THE CAT MONSTER! LET THAT BE A LESSON TO YOU"
He gave me a sweet grin.
"Oh, hi, Hankie. Did I hurt you?"
"You scratched me, Pete, but the bad new for you, is that I don't care! These are battle wounds, and I will wear them proudly."
He stared at me.
"Hmm, yes." He said. "Anyway, I spotted a racoon in the feed barn, Hankie. He was sleeping under one of the bags."
I glared at him.
"Pete, that's the dumbest thing you've said since the last dumb thing you've said."
"Yes, well, he's there."
"No he's not."
"Well, then, go prove it."
I stared at him.
My data banks whirred.
I didn't know what this cat was up to, but I was going to find out.
I decided to play along with it.
"Shut up, cat!"
And with that, I marched away.
I knew he was watching me to see if I went to the feed barn.
HA!
I didn't even look at the feed barn.
I marched right past it, and headed back to the horse pasture to see Drover.
I thought that he needed to be informed on Pete's tip.
Calvin and Hobbes were still there, playing their dumb game.
And, I noticed that nobody was slamming the ball into DROVER! Oh no, It was just me.
Dumbbells.
I marched over to Drover and gave him a stern glare.
"So, are you enjoying the game?"
Drover looked up.
"Oh, yeah. Calvin just scored."
"Good. Great. I'm glad you're having fun goofing off."
"Yeah. Hobbes had the Calvinball in the minute zone, but Calvin took the flag of all flags and pinned it in the hour zone. He said hours beat minutes, so they went into a rock, paper, scissors game. Calvin won, and he scored three ghost points."
"Terrific. I'm sorry, Drover, but I'm afraid that duty calls, and we don't have time to sit around and watch dumb games that..."
WHAM!
He did it again.
CALVIN THREW THE BALL INTO MY FACE AGAIN!
I couldn't believe it!
I hadn't even been there for one minute and he...
Never mind.
Just skip it.
The point is that I led Drover out of the horse pasture, and led him to the feed barn.
I looked around in all directions to see if Pete was watching.
He wasn't.
I stopped.
Drover ran into me, the little lunatic.
I spun around to him.
"SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"I didn't say anything."
"You ran into me, you tuna. Now, here's the plan, We're going to make this a silent run. We'll sneak in there, check the sacks, and leave. Got it."
"Alright, but only if this old leg of mine..."
I ignored him.
I had heard enough about his "old leg" to last a life time.
Let's face it.
He's a little hypacardiac.
Sometimes I think...
Ah well, no point dwelling on nonsense.
We made our way up to the feed shed.
I was surprised, nay, shocked to find Slim and Loper the cowboys muttering and grumbling to themselves next to the feed barn's door.
Now what were they...
I turned to Drover.
He had snuck away, the little dunce, and left me to discover what the cowboys were up to.
I crept forward, activated my earatory scanners, and homed in on Slim and Loper's voices.
"Stupid coons! One more night of this, and we'll need to buy more feed!"
HUH?
What were they talking about?
I had checked the feed barn not a while ago and...
I squinted my eyes and stared into the feed barn.
You'll never guess what I saw inside.
I was shocked!
