CB: Gah… over seventy reviews for two chapters… dies from happiness Wow…so nice to know that all you folks are reading this! (And a BIG thank you to Zenappleberries for showing me the major plot hole in this that, sadly, will never be fixed because I am too damn lazy for my own good. ;)

Big thanks to: Anonymous, kit [kat], Screwed Up, Youn-Hee, Hannio, Wyll Jared, Faulty Cognition, Doctor Zosfmov, esaure, Rhiannan Star, Nowle the Lady Dragon, Demosthenes42, JW Grey, silver-sunn101, Black Crystall Draygon, korosu, buffy-soul, hornyfangirl, Alex, the-only-innocent, Amaroq, Blue ice, Walking-Paradox, insight-to-insanity, Yuki Bombay, Hedwig Trelawney, Ito-Kun, silk, Moonix, baby chaos, Telpei, Dragon Pearl1, Vixen, Affected Mango, YukiDragon, Nya, Kary Asakura, Akuma Malick: Queen of the Typos, buffy-soul, bakasu, empath89, snerkish, KatFay, Caity-Cat, Professor Potter-Malfoy, savvytruffle, YYO, Raiknii, The Fallen Caryatid.

NOTE: I know Sirius ran away from his home earlier than seventh year, but for the purposes of this story, he is still living there during the holidays.

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul

 grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself.

Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray, 1891

"Knock, knock."

"Sod off."

"Knock, knock!"

A well-aimed pillow caught James around the face and he staggered back dramatically. "Peter! I'm wounded!" Slipping to his knees, he gasped dramatically. "Avenge…my…death…"

"No." Peter didn't even look up from the textbook he was worrying over.

Sirius grumbled and rolled over onto his back. Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands. Hair mussed, face pale and with a dazed look in his eyes, he was not at his best – something that James felt it was necessary to point out in a very loud voice.

Another pillow hit him around the head.

"Ouch! Sirius, don't throw those things so hard! They actually do hurt!"

Sirius scowled, swinging his legs out of the bed. "I have a headache, Potter, and you are not helping it," he groused. "Why can't you go down to the common room or something? I only want a bit of peace."

"Sorry, mate. Lily's a bit cross with me at the moment…I thought it more prudent to stay up here." James's expression was irritatingly cheerful. "Look, why don't you go to Pomfrey? She can probably whip you up something that will fix it." He grinned and sat down on the edge of his friend's bed, affectionately punching Sirius's shoulder. "I'll even go down there with you, if you like."

"No!" Sirius looked vaguely alarmed. "I've been banned from the hospital wing, remember? Pomphrey swore if I came back within three months she'd tie me to a chair, break all my bones and then make sure they grew back slowly." He shuddered and swung his legs off the bed. "Maybe I just need some fresh air."

"Still want me to come?" James offered, thoughtfully stealing one of Peter's jelly slugs that lay within handy range.

"Nah, I need some peace and quiet. I won't be long." Sirius stood up, tugging on a pair of expensive boots. "I'll just go for a quick walk around the castle and back again."

"Ok then." James looked slightly dubious as he glanced out of the window. "It's hell out there, mate, you might want to take a cloak with you."

"What are you? My mother?" Sirius grinned as his friend, absently picking up said cloak.

James shuddered. "No offence, Sear, but I'd rather be eaten by a dragon than be even remotely associated with that miserable bat."

"Yeah." Sirius's expression closed for a moment as he turned away from his two friends towards the dormitory door. "Well, I'll see you all in a little while, eh?"

"Be careful!" James's voice rang out from behind him before the heavy oak door shut with a thud.

Flopping back on Sirius's bed, James stared at the red velvet above him. "Oy, Peter?"

"Hmm?" Peter sounded distracted as he flicked through the textbook, searching for a reference to the Hungarian Horntail – a creature they were studying for Care of Magical Creatures.

"Is it just me, or has Sirius seemed a bit…reticent about his family recently?"

"Now that you mention it," Peter shut the book with a snap and looked up, "he hasn't mentioned them much, and he keeps avoiding the topic."

"Think there are problems at home?" James looked worried as he sat up slowly, raking a hand through his hair. "I mean, I know his family are awful and all, but, I don't know…" He sighed and pushed his glasses up his nose. "It just seems he's being even closer than usual about them. I mean, normally we at least get some sort of tale, or he'll read us something he was sent, but yesterday he got a letter from his mother, and I haven't heard anything from him yet."

"Maybe he had an argument with them."

"He's always arguing with them." James said crossly.

"Well…" Peter paused and plucked a jelly slug from the jar he kept them in. "Maybe this time it's worse than usual."

He received a blank look from James. "Yeah, anyway…"

The shorter boy rolled his eyes. "Maybe something really serious has happened this time. Maybe they've had a really big argument."

"They're always really big," James remarked.

Peter gave up. "Well, we won't know until Sirius tells us, will we?"

AaAaAaAa

/'Sirius…'/

The icy wind numbed him completely, stinging his cheeks until he could no longer feel the pain, stealing the warmth from his very bones. Around him, the rain lashed down, soaking him to the skin, despite the thick cloak and drenching his hair so that it straggled against his face and down his back. The piece of paper fluttered between pale fingers, its ink already smudged and blurring.

/'You father and I are thoroughly disgusted in you. We hear that you have been keeping from us the fact that you have been living in the same dormitory with a muggle born for the past six years. You seem to think that this is something that is, quite obviously, beneath you to mention.'/

Bloody Regulus and his bloody spying, he thought furiously.

/'What were you thinking? You should have demanded a room change at the very start of your first year. We will be writing to the headmaster to inform him that if he wishes to mix filth with purity, it is his school, but that you, as a Black, will be removed from this offensive presence immediately./

/'Another thing that has come to our attention is your lack of ability with your schoolwork. You are constantly in trouble, more often than not because of something that Potter boy has dragged you into. Whilst we appreciate he is a pure blood, you will refrain from his company and devote yourself to your studies like your brother. Be assured, if you do not strive harder to uphold the Black name, we will not hesitate in removing you from that school and placing you elsewhere.'/

That was it. Nothing else. No "have a good year, son", or, "we love you and will see you soon", just a cold, hard dictation in the form of a letter. It wasn't even particularly long, just full of the same, verbal abuse and dismissal he was used to at home.

Stuffing the letter in the pocket of his robe, Sirius tilted his head back, letting the rain splatter his face. Letting out a long sigh, he felt his hands involuntarily form fists as he thought of the casual, cruel note.

'I hate them,' he thought passionately, leaning back against the castle wall with a thud, 'I HATE THEM!'

Scowling, he shifted and pulled a packet of cigarettes out of his pocket. Not caring that students were not allowed to smoke on school grounds, he lit one and leant back against the wall again, staring up into the dark, cloudy night sky.

'All my life, I've had nothing but grief from them,' he thought moodily. 'I wasn't the son they had wanted and I wasn't the daughter they could have passed off in marriage to gain more wealth and social standing. I never let them trample me like Regulus did, but despite their encouragements to be proud and strong, they hated it when I stood up to them. They're all a bunch of hypocrites.'

A small, bitter smile twisted Sirius's lips as he drew out the letter again, unable to resist looking at it again – its words like an angry wound that needed to be continuously probed despite the pain. 'It's still about control, isn't it?' He addressed the letter silently, not able to actually make out the writing any more, because of the rain soaked paper. 'You've still got to rule my life, despite the distance. You can't bear me wanting to be my own person instead of a Black.'

His face took on a stony expression as he continued to stare at the paper.

'Well, forget it. I'm not playing your little games. Not any more. This is my life now, and I'll be damned if you rule it.'

A sudden, abrupt movement and the letter had been torn, ripped to shreds and blown away by the wind, spiralling damply off into the night.

'Don't think you can tell me what to do now,' Sirius thought, watching the last piece of paper flutter onto the grass. 'I'm my own person…I'll make my own rules.'

His lips twitched, a half smile curving them, and despite the bitterness of the expression he felt suddenly lighter as he took a drag from the cigarette.

"You're not supposed to smoke on the castle grounds." A polite, well-educated voice reprimanded him above the rising shriek of the wind.

Sirius jumped, cursing as the cigarette tumbled from his grasp to extinguish itself on the rain soaked floor. Looking up, he saw Remus standing in front of him, a small frown on his face, arms folded tightly across his chest as he obviously attempted not to shiver.

For a long moment there was silence – neither man uttering a word, the only sound the rain, which continued to fall heavily.

"Sorry," Sirius said after a pause, "I was just dying for one." He shot the teacher a lopsided smile. "Appalling habit; I should pack it in."

Remus nodded, lips pursed. "Indeed. Incidentally, I don't suppose you'd know anything about this, would you?"

Sirius glanced at the teacher's outstretched hand and stiffened in horror. From between long, pale fingers dangled a limp scarp of parchment – the remains of the letter.

"Uh…no. Should I?" Even to his own ears, his voice sounded overly casual – forced.

"You're the only one out here. Might I remind you, Mr Black, that it is inconsiderate to drop litter." One gold eyebrow rose, but the effect was ruined by an abrupt shiver as the teacher hugged his arms even closer to his body.

"You're cold." Sirius's voice was soft, barely heard above the weather.

"Of course." The teacher scowled, but his heart wasn't really in it. A drip was forming on the end of his nose and his hair was plastered to his skull. "I came out here to make sure you were all right, but…I'd rather we went back in." He rubbed a hand across his eyes, blinking rainwater out of his vision. "If there's anything you wish to discuss, I think it would be much more preferable to talk indoors."

There was a pause – awkward and slightly embarrassing, before Sirius shook his head.

"No, thanks professor, but I should really be getting back. There's nothing the matter, so I don't want to waste your time."

Remus stared at him, eyes large and serious in his pale face. "You're sure?"

"Yeah. I'm sure." Sirius tried to rake a hand through his hair, discovered several tangs and thought better of it. "Sorry for making you come out in this weather."

"I saw you from my office window and thought it was a bit late and stormy for a student to be wandering the grounds."

"Oh…"

Another pause.

'This,' thought Sirius, 'is very awkward. So why haven't I gone yet?'

"Well, if you're sure there's nothing wrong…" Remus said dubiously.

"Oh absolutely." Sirius forced a spark of brightness into his voice. "Nothing at all. Well, if that's everything professor," his voice rose to become heard over the shrieking wind, which had become stronger, "I'll be off to bed."

Backing away, he hurried in the direction of the main entrance, aware that sharp hazel eyes were watching his progress.

Flinging open the castle door, he dragged it closed behind him and leant against it, cloak hem dripping muddy water onto the flagstones. Somewhere overhead, he could hear the gentle buzz of life proceeding as normal and the cackle of Peeves as he terrorised a group of first years.

 "Ickle first years up to no good…a shame to have to report it to Filch," the poltergeist was saying. "What are you hiding?"

'Yes…' Sirius thought miserably, letting out an involuntary sneeze, 'what am I hiding?'

AaAaAaAa

'He was hiding something.'

Remus was sitting at his desk, hand propped on his chin, staring absent-mindedly into space. Beside him a cup of tea steamed quietly and in front of him a stack of essays were waiting to be marked. He was not, however, doing the work he had intended; rather, he was sitting there thinking about his errant student – a topic that would, no doubt, have set blood boiling in the staff room.

'He wasn't acting flippant or mischievous or…anything. He was just…tense, nervous, unsure.' The teacher frowned and idly sipped his tea. 'He didn't appear to be his usual self.'

"Remus?"

Dumbledore's face suddenly filled the teacher's vision and he jumped, spilling his tea.

"P-professor Dumbledore. I, uh, didn't expect you, sir."

"Indeed." The old wizard settled himself without preamble into one of the comfortable armchairs by the study fire. "I did knock several times, dear boy, but there was no reply. I do hope you'll forgive me for intruding like this." He smiled, his expression guileless. "You were quite lost in your own little world."

"I was just thinking." Remus shrugged and rose from his seat to gaze out of the window.

"You know," Dumbledore said suddenly, "the Greeks used to believe that Sirius was a sign of evil."

"I'm sorry?" The young teacher stared at the headmaster, confusion plainly written on his features.

"Sirius. The dog star."

"Oh, I see." He clearly didn't, but was polite nonetheless.

Dumbledore smiled, pressing his hands together and peering over his fingertips. "I do not, however, believe that our Sirius is evil. Nor do I believe that he is completely out of our grasp in terms of, perhaps, reigning in his often excessively mischievous attitude."

"Oh…good." Remus failed to see where this was leading, or, indeed, why Dumbledore had bothered to come at all.

"I noticed earlier, Remus, that you did not seem to treat young Mr Black with quite the same disgusted attitude as the rest of the staff." Dumbledore smiled benignly from behind his spectacles. "Indeed, you seemed quite concerned for him. This led me to wonder if, perhaps, you were not the answer to all our prayers."

"I hardly think…" Remus spluttered, his stomach sinking as he began to have the uneasy feeling he knew what was coming next.

Dumbledore held up one finger, silencing any protests. "I also noted that you followed Sirius outside earlier, this does you credit, of course." The headmaster looked thoughtful. "Sirius has not had any easy life, and it is often very difficult to talk to him. He simply refuses to trust adults." He sighed and stood up. "I simply ask that you keep an eye on him for me please. The next year is not going to be easy for him and it would be nice if he had a mentor."

"Mentor?" Remus croaked, hardly daring to believe his ears. Sirius certainly hadn't indicated he thought of Remus as a mentor.

"Why, yes." Dumbledore paused, his hand on the doorknob. "Sirius has been…treated cruelly by his family. I think it would be nice for him to have a good adult example to look up to."

"But I'm…"

"Only a year older? A werewolf?" Dumbledore smiled again. "My dear boy that has never stopped you before."

The door swung shut behind him with a quiet click that sounded like the final note of doom to Remus's thunderstruck ears.

AaAaAaAa

"You must have scared him off, Sirius," Lily commented, tilting her chair back onto two legs. "He hasn't turned up so far."

"I'm not surprised," a voice from behind the small group of friends commented, "one look at Black's ugly mug is enough to scare any normal person away."

"Fuck off, Snape." Sirius didn't even both to look up from his piece of parchment, where he was frantically scribbling a hasty note.

James watched the Slytherin resume his seat at the back of the classroom next to Lucius Malfoy, before he turned his attention back towards Peter, Sirius and Lily.

"I'm surprised you didn't think of some better retort than that, Sear. Usually you're in top form when it come to Snape."

"Mm, I guess." Signing the parchment with a flourish, Sirius eyed his handiwork  then neatly folded the note in half. "That said, Snape's a waste of space anyway, so what's the point in using up much needed oxygen on him?" As if to emphasise his point, he pushed his chair back abruptly.

"Where do you think you're going?" Peter demanded, "Professor Lupin will be here soon."

"Not far." Sauntering up to the front, Sirius dropped the note on the desk, then had to hurry back as the telltale footsteps of the young teacher rang out down the stone corridor.

"What was that?" Lily hissed, craning to try and see exactly where Sirius had put the note. "You're not pulling a prank on him, are you?"

"Certainly not!" Sirius looked wounded. "Wouldn't dream of it."

"He'd better not be," James muttered under his breath just as Remus walked in, "because if he is, I don't know about it."

Sirius didn't reply. Instead, his whole attention was now riveted to Remus, who had set his battered briefcase down next to the desk and was currently staring at the small scrap of parchment in front of him.

Hesitantly picking it up as thought it might explode ( a wise precaution, Sirius thought), he gently unfolded the note.

He looked thinner than when he had seem he last – two days ago – and Sirius stared thoughtfully at him propping his chin on one hand. He looked ill, too. Dark shadows circled his eyes and his skin seemed much paler. His frame appeared gaunt under his robe and he appeared to be walking with a very slightly limp – favouring his left leg as though it pained him to step on it.

His skin went even paler, Sirius noticed, as he read the note.

/Dear professor,

I'd love to have a private talk with you about some more of those curses. Meet me in Hogsmeade this weekend?

Yours,

Sirius./

Eyes wide, Remus stared first at the note, then at the student, who smiled, grey eyes alight with wickedness as he leant back in his chair, flicking his hair over one shoulder.

'Yes professor, I'd love to chat about those curses.' Sirius barely held his triumphant grin in check as he shot a glance at James, who raised an eyebrow. 'Scared yet?'

Swallowing, Remus folded the note back up and stuffed it in his pocket, nodding briefly at Sirius, whose grin simply grew.

'You should be…'

To Be Continued…

CB: My apologies for taking so long in this chapter. I lacked both the time and the inspiration to do it before now. I'm STILL not happy with it (I like complaining, can you tell?) but I thought it wasn't fair to keep you guys waiting even longer. Again, sorry for the