A/N: so since i've been on spring break, i've been watching the outsiders extended edition all week and inspiration came and all that good stuff.

Yes, the title of the chapter is a Panic! at the Disco lyric. Deal with it. don't own that shit either

WHEN YOU REVIEW--- please tell me what you enjoyed and what you didn't necessarily like so i can make it better and how you all want me to- i write for you guys!


Disclaimer: I own the Outsiders DVDs and the book, but I don't think that counts as owning them... damn I wish I could own Sodapop but that's besides the point...


Two-Bit's boots clicked against the sidewalk heavily and neither of us said anything. "I know that I told you I'm not happy about you being with Randy, but now I'm telling you that you're gonna end it, or I'm gonna."

"Do you know how difficult it is for me to believe that? You say this shit about every boy I've ever been with, Two-Bit! Why is Randy so different?"

"Because him and his buddies tried to kill Johnny and Ponyboy! Since when do your boyfriends take priority over your boys, Jay?"

"They haven't!"

"They clearly have if you're acting like this, JT! You lied to me and to Darry."

"How did I lie to you and Darry?"

"You lied to Darry when you said you were going to the drive-in alone."

"I did!"

"Leavin' part of it out is the same as lying!" he countered. "You want me to be your bodyguard from now on and watch your every move?"

I shook my head and looked back down at the sidewalk.

"You lied to me when you told me you were going to the DX after school. I went there looking for you- no, you're at that bastard Adderson's house."

"I was at Cherry's!" I lied quickly.

"I saw you in his car driving to the DX!"

"I called him and asked him to drive me over since Cherry's Stingray is in the shop!" It was amazing how simple this 'lying' thing had become.

For once, Two-Bit was silent.

I slowed down my frantic walking pace. "Two-Bit, I didn't even know who Bob Sheldon or Randy Adderson or Paul Holden were before now! How the hell was I supposed to know about what they did to Pony and Johnny, man? You can't keep bringing that up to me when I never knew what they'd done."

"When you found out what they'd done, you still let him flip up your skirt?"

I glared at him at the mere mention of that, but after staring him down I hissed, "He's a good guy, Two-Bit!"

Two-Bit thrust his hips back and forth so rapidly that his voice shook when he spoke. "Oh yeah, he's really good, Jay."

"I don't mean like that, Two-Bit! Goddamn!"

"Oh, come on, JT, where the hell did your sense of humor go?"

"Come on, Two-Bit, don't act like that. I just wish that y'all would stop baggin' on him!"

"Jaime, I don't want you hanging out with him no more. Why don't you just hang out with your own kind like the rest of us? Steve has Evie, I had Kathy, and Sodapop had San-"

"Well, maybe I don't want to be like you guys! Maybe I'm with him because I don't want to be a greaser girl whore like everyone expects me to be and I couldn't care less about the social boundaries around here!"

He shouted back, "Maybe for once in your life you could try to listen to the ones who know what's best for you as opposed to you just wanting to do the exact opposite to get your own way!"

"Maybe I'm truly a Soc inside but I'm stuck in this life because there's no way out!"

"Maybe you should get used to it because, like it or not, this is the level you was born at and I hate to break it to you, angel, but there's no climbing up the social ladder here in Tulsa, so give it up!"

"Fuck you!" I screamed, storming off away from him.

"Jaime Theresa-Lynn Randle, get your stubborn ass back over here!"

"If you're just going to continue to insult me, my boyfriend, and the way I choose to live my life differently than the rest of you, then I don't see why I should!"

"Goddamn it, Jaime, can't you tell that we're all you've got left now?" We both stopped as he hollered, something I'd only seen him do to Socs, and it scared the shit out of me, so I didn't dare move. "After your godforsaken mother walked out on you and left you with a son of a bitch drunk of a father, can't you tell that us and your brother care about your ass and we actually want what's best for you? Hell, since you basically got no parents to give a shit about what you do, don't you think that we care about where you go in life? We want what's in your best interest, but you're so into being Little Miss Rebel, you're too damn blind too notice or give a shit yourself. Fuck, maybe it runs in your blood."

"Jesus fucking Christ, Mathews! Don't you dare go saying shit like that! If I gotta put up with your smart ass mouth one more second-"

"He ain't no good, Jay! I know him, I know his type, and he ain't no good, especially for you!"

"You're a fucking hypocrite, Keith Mathews, you know that?" I hollered as we continued down the street. "Whenever I tell you that I don't like one of your girlfriends, do you give a hang? No! I like Randy, okay? End of story! Back off!"

By this time we'd reached home- well, the Curtis house, but it was he closest thing I'd ever know to home- and I stormed up the porch stairs and slammed the door once I got inside, but Two-Bit opened it and followed in close behind. "Go ahead Jaime- continue to go down the path like you are and you're going to end up like Dallas!"

"You son of a-" I charged at him but Darry had seen part of the unfolding of the situation, hopped off his chair in the corner, and held me back. Knowing that he was right and remembering Dally at all killed me inside and I started to cry. "You son of a bitch! You dumbass son of a bitch! Fuck you! Fuck you!"

Darry held me tight. "It's okay, Jaime. It's okay. Calm down. Relax." I made to walk down the hall towards the kitchen, but Darry held me tight. I didn't care if Two-Bit was scatterbrained and didn't think before he spoke- he'd crossed the line. "Come here, Jaime. C'mere." He sat down in his chair and brought me over to sit on the arm. He'd been prepared to start at me about the state of my backpack, my purchases from the DX, and what he'd forced Sodapop to spill, but seeing how upset I was, he didn't see why it couldn't wait until morning.

I curled my hair behind my ears and wiped off the smeared mascara that had stained my cheeks.

Darry rubbed his hand soothingly against the small of my back. "Listen, Jay, I'm sorry about exploding this morning and last night. I shouldn't have done that."

I sniffed and hugged him, scooting forward off the armchair to sit on his lap to get closer and hug him more. "You okay now?"

I nodded against his shoulder and got up, walking toward the kitchen but stopping off by the bathroom, and Two-Bit followed me. "Jay, Jay, wait up."

"I just want to be left alone right now, Two-Bit. Stop."

He grabbed me by the back of my shirt and stopped me outside the doorway. "I'm just tellin' ya to be careful, baby girl. I don't trust the likes of him. That's all."

I swallowed thickly in a vain effort to hold the tears back. When they began to flow, I just looked up into the ceiling and tapped my foot on the ground, crossing my arms over my chest.

He shuffled his feet over the carpet. "It's not my decision to make. Who you are friends with and date is none of my business. I have no control over it at all."

I smiled, grabbing onto the doorknob. "You're right. You don't." I shut the door promptly in his face, leaned my back against it, and slid down to the floor.

After I got out of the shower and donned a pair of Ponyboy's boxers and one of Darry's undershirts, I walked into the living room and saw Darry lying over the arm of his chair, snoring with the newspaper open over his chest. Two-Bit was lying haphazardly at Ponyboy's feet, in a knot of limbs, no more than five feet from the television.

Instead of seeing my brother on the couch, I saw Tim Shepard with his arms over the back, watching the late night news. "Hey, Tim," I said, nodding toward him.

He nodded back. "Hiya, kid." Nothing more needed to be said. No more information wanted to be shared. I didn't really want or need to know why he was there.

Darry shot up with a quiet snort. "Jay?"

I turned around and whispered, "Yeah?"

"It's nine o'clock- how much homework do you have left?"

I shook my head. "I finished it at Cherry's house."

"All of it?"

I nodded.

"Okay- get to bed. Me and you gotta talk tomorrow early."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Why?"

He cleared his throat and just kept his eyes locked on mine. "I don't think that you'd want everyone else to be around for this."

I bit my lip and nodded, looking toward the floor.

"You wanna stay the night, baby?"

I nodded again.

"Just be quiet- Sodapop's already asleep."

I walked over and kissed Darry on the cheek. "Goodnight."

I repeated the gesture to Tim. He smiled, but didn't look up from his newspaper once. "G'night, kid." It was only then that Darry had even noticed Tim was there.

Whenever I was at the Curtis house, I slept in the same bed as Ponyboy and Sodapop, so I went in their room where Soda was staring up at the ceiling. I walked over to the window and shivered, the breeze from the window too cold against my scantily clad body. I shut the window but it didn't help much.

Ponyboy had fallen asleep on the couch, so it was just Sodapop and me alone in the bed. I was looking out the window when I slipped under the sheets, feeling his body heat by me but not close enough that we were touching. Sodapop then turned over, now farther away, and his face was buried in his pillow.

The blinds had never shut all the way, so it was hard enough to fall asleep with he streetlights in my eyes, but the questions racing through my mind didn't help me much. "Where's Steve?" I asked quietly, turning off the lamp over Ponyboy's desk.

"Whiff Meavy."

"What?"

He lifted his head off the pillow barely a centimeter. "With Evie." Soda was startled slightly by the gentle movement of the mattress from me shivering. "Jaime, you cold?"

"Yeah," I whispered after a moment.

Sodapop turned over and spooned me, holding me around the waist into his warm body. He always would do that before, but now his touch was cold and I was really as cold as I had been. He normally stroked me gently to ease me to sleep, but now he barely moved.

Soda had always been more than my brother's best friend to me. He was my best friend, and I couldn't stand him acting like this towards me. The tears poured from my eyes again. "Soda?"

He grunted. "What?"

"Please don't be mad at me," I sobbed.

He sighed, and then, eventually, "I'm not mad at you."

"Yeah, you are," I insisted, trying to not keep crying. "It's bad enough that Darry and Two-Bit already hate me for what I've done. I can't have you hate me too."

For a moment, the only noise was me crying and Tim watching the eleven o'clock news. "We dont hate you," he sighed again. "Come here." He tapped my shoulder and got me to turn over. When I did, he held my head against his chest and my tears dotted the thin white cotton of his undershirt. "We're all just upset because you're making a bad decision and you won't listen to nobody," he answered.

"But Soda-"

"Don't worry about it, Jaime. Just go to sleep now. I got work tomorrow morning." His gentle breathing against the side of my neck, although it excited me, soothed me to sleep.