Title: The Quandary
Author: BaBaKaNuSh-13
Category: Action (an adequate amount, anyway), Angst, AU (Age 13) (If only '13' started with 'A', too!)
Summary: AU to the ending of Jedi Apprentice: The Dark Rival. Qui-Gon didn't take Obi-Wan as his apprentice after the incident in the mine, and the young Jedi is faced with the task of trying to stay alive as another prospective master takes an interest in him.
Rating: PG/K+
Spoilers: Minor ones for the JA books
Archive: Yes, of course! That is, if anyone would want it. Just please email me first.
Disclaimer:
The Star Wars universe belongs to George Lucas. I'm not making any money out of this, so please don't sue.

A/N #2: Okay, here it is, guys … A re-written chapter 9. I really hated the first version … euck! Anyway, I've re-done it, so if you want, you can read it again. I think it's much improved, but that might just be me. Also, I left the A/N and the review from the first edit at the bottom of the chapter, so if it seems like you've read it before, it's because you have.

And I'm so sorry that I've been gone for so long! I've had disaster after disaster happen, and then I lost all confidence in my writing. :( It was bloody chapter 9 that did it (the previous version of it, anyway), because I just hated what I posted.

Dedication: This chapter, besides being dedicated to all the wonderful readers and reviewers out there, is specifically giving a shout out to the wonderful Shan and Writer of All. Thankyou Shan for the awesome constructive review which helped me realise what I hated so much about the previous edit of chapter 9, so that I could fix it. You made this chapter so much better with another of your wonderful and constant reviews that makes each chapter so much easier to face. And Writer of All, thankyou so much for being there for me and giving me the confidence to redo this until "I wrote for me" :)! LOL! You're probably sick of hearing me say that quote, but thankyou so much, once again!

A/N: I have nothing to say.

Gasp!

No one collapse from shock … I haven't got my bronze medallion yet, so definitely don't fall into any pools as you do it.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Chapter 9

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Qui-Gon took one last look up at his former Apprentice's eyes. Time seemed to slow down, the younger man's powerful arms thrusting the pulsing red lightsabre straight for his midsection. The light reflected off his pale, wild, greedy face, giving it an eerie crimson glow. This couldn't be happening. He couldn't let Xanatos get away, couldn't let him destroy Obi-Wan.

How could he save the boy if he was dead?

How could he train the boy?

And in that last thought, Qui-Gon finally realised it.

He did want to train the boy.

But it was too late. He would be dead soon, and Obi-Wan would be forever lost to Xanatos. His former Apprentice would win. Not that he thought the determined boy would ever turn. He knew that Obi-Wan wouldn't, but he was sure that Xanatos would kill him when he didn't. And he was sure that it wouldn't likely be a quick death.

Qui-Gon stared at Xanatos' kill-hungry face, soaking in every detail, from the sharp curve of his jaw, to the prominent broken circle on his cheek, and mourned for the loss of the bright boy that he'd once known.

That scar had not always been there.

The gap between them had not always been there.

Xanatos had not always been who he was, broiling in darkness. They were like that circle, really, he and Xanatos. They were each one half of it, pasts joined, yet futures split brutally, unconnecting. And it seemed as if they never would, now. All hope Qui-Gon ever had to help Xanatos fight who he had become promptly fluttered away on the slight breeze that ruffled their hair and sprayed them with tiny granules of sand.

It was inevitable. Qui-Gon closed his eyes, waiting for the oncoming death blow.

A moment passed, and yet nothing happened. His eyes flew open in confusion, to see Xanatos' shocked face, eyes wide, lip twitching in pain. His lightsabre dropped from nerveless fingers, and Qui-Gon winced as it brushed his stomach before hitting the ground and deactivating.

Still unable to move from some unknown force – maybe fascination, confusion, or maybe the realisation that he had another chance – the Jedi Master looked up and simply watched as Xanatos stepped back, staring, surprised, at the bright blue beam protruding from his chest.

Xanatos turned to face Obi-Wan, who stood behind him, still holding his activated lightsabre. "I knew you had potential, Kenobi. You just destroyed any chance of a future," Xanatos shuddered, trying to cheat death, taking in a rasping breath. It echoed around the open plain, ringing obtusely loud in Qui-Gon's unbelieving ears and filling him with sorrow – both for the young boy who had been forced to make such an awful decision, and for the dark Jedi, who had become so lost.

Xanatos took one last breath, which rattled grotesquely in his chest. His face had become defeated, almost forlorn, and Qui-Gon nearly forgot about the person his former Apprentice had become ...

Until his helpless look was suddenly stowed away and masked by savage glee as he turned his face in a last, burning smile at Obi-Wan.

"I'll see you in hell," he rasped. Energy gone and life disappeared, Xanatos collapsed bonelessly to the ground between the two Jedi, leaving a hollow silence in his wake.

After several moments of this stunned lull in the roar of racing events, Qui-Gon turned to Obi-Wan with dawning surprise. The boy had just saved his life.

Obi-Wan stared back at him, mouth agape and eyes wide. His chest heaved laboriously, though Qui-Gon knew it wasn't simply from exertion, but rather from shock, horror, self-doubt …

Qui-Gon pushed himself up and stepped over Xanatos' lifeless body. Although he would mourn for the fallen Jedi, he knew that now was not the time. Xanatos had been tragically lost. Obi-Wan was not. He had to choose his priorities.

The boy deactivated the blue-bladed weapon numbly and stepped back. He stumbled and fell to the ground.

Qui-Gon knelt worriedly at Obi-Wan's side and placed a large hand on his shaking shoulder. hiss brow knitted together. He was sure that it must have been the first time Obi-Wan had directly killed someone with his sabre.

Obi-Wan looked up to him with confusion swimming in his oceanic eyes.

"I killed him," he whispered. "I killed him. I – I didn't – I –"

Qui-Gon unconsciously tightened his grip on the boy's shoulder, silently cursing both himself and his former Apprentice for doing this to the young Jedi. He had abandoned the boy and left him to the vices of Xanatos ... once again.

Qui-Gon took a steadying breath to calm himself. There was no point, no worthy outcome, in harbouring anger towards the dead.

"It's alright, Obi-Wan, you had to. You saved my life. Thankyou."

Obi-Wan nodded his head numbly, unbelievingly, the oceanic depths of his eyes glazed and still for the first time.

Qui-Gon frowned. He needed to get Kenobi to the Healer's quickly. The boy had been through too much.

Qui-Gon, with quick, efficient movements, reached out and tugged Obi-Wan's blood-soaked tunic up to check the wound there. The young Jedi didn't resist. Qui-Gon winced at the sight of the mangled flesh of the boy's side. It was nothing that a good dip in a bacta tank couldn't fix, but it was a nasty injury, nevertheless. Qui-Gon removed his robe and ripped large strips from the hem of it. He lay it on the ground and pushed Obi-Wan gently back on the top of it, so that he could get access to his side. Any resistance left in Obi-Wan had disappeared completely, as if all of his will had departed with Xanatos' last breath. Qui-Gon could feel the waves of sheer exhaustion radiating off the boy.

The Jedi Master wadded the robe's hood up. He pressed it to the wound to stop the sluggish bleeding, which had started again with every jolting movement he had made. He held the brown pad in place by wrapping strips of his robe around the Obi-Wan's trembling frame. Satisfied that the makeshift bandages would do well enough until they got back to the Agri-Corps, Qui-Gon helped the boy sit up. He picked up some of the leftover fabric strips and bound Obi-Wan's right arm to his body, restricting any movement which would aggravate his dislocated shoulder further.

It bothered the Qui-Gon that Obi-Wan was still yet to respond sentiently to him, merely sitting, slumped, as he was tended to. Nevertheless, Qui-Gon supported the boy to the speeder and settled him into the passenger seat of the two-man craft. He wrapped what remained of his torn robe around the boy.

Qui-Gon walked back to Xanatos' body and dragged it distastefully over to Obi-Wan's crashed speeder, still upended. He placed the body underneath to protect it from the blistering sun and any hardy scavengers around that might be around. He would return for it later, once he'd delivered Obi-Wan to the Healers, but for now there was only room for he and Obi-Wan in the craft.

Driving the borrowed speeder as fast as possible back to the Agri-Corps, Qui-Gon glanced down at Obi-Wan's still form for the third time in as many minutes. He was reluctant to admit it, but Qui-Gon was fearful for the boy. He'd remained unmoving in his seat since Qui-Gon had placed him there. It was only in the last five minutes that he'd closed his eyes and fallen into unconsciousness. Until then, he'd just stared blankly ahead with glazed eyes.

Qui-Gon reached out with one large hand to touch Obi-Wan's smooth young forehead. It was hotter than the tall Jedi cared for. He could feel the boy still trembling under his hand. Soon Obi-Wan's eyes began to move restlessly behind closed lids, and his breathing came fast and shallow. He was deep into shock now.

Qui-Gon reached out to lift his robe up off the boy. He winced. Obi-Wan's hastily-strapped wound was starting to bleed through both the makeshift bandage and his already blood-encrusted tunic. He was losing far too much blood than was safe ... and he was losing it fast. He slowly let the edge of the robe drop down to cover Kenobi.

Qui-Gon glanced once more at Obi-Wan's pallid face and took a deep breath, squaring his shoulders. He knew he'd have to help Force heal Obi-Wan; they were still a distance away from the Agri-Corps, and the boy was heading towards a place which he couldn't be brought back from. Qui-Gon dreaded the thought of it – both of having to Force heal the boy, and the fact that if he didn't …

No. That wouldn't happen.

Qui-Gon had to swallow down his trepidation. He'd never even tried Force healing with either of his previous Padawans, with whom he'd had a training bond, let alone anybody else at all. It was something that the Jedi usually left for the healers to do … when they were close enough to reach them in time, anyway. It was a dangerous thing, to perform an untrained Force healing, both for the recipient and the inexperienced healer. There were so many things that could go wrong, but if the bond was deep enough …

Well, Qui-Gon didn't know if he wished it to be or not.

Taking a deep breath, he gripped the steering stick tighter and set his resolve. He would have to do this, he assured himself, there was no other way. Qui-Gon looked over to the boy in the passenger's seat as he began to shiver more violently. It was the push he needed.

Qui-Gon set the speeder to autopilot, and reached out to the growing bond in his mind, connecting with Obi-Wan. He took note of the boy's injuries, and focussed his attention on the blaster wound. It was worse than he'd originally thought. Never having been taught any of the healing arts, Qui-Gon knew it was beyond his abilities to mend such a complex injury. Instead, he poured the Force into Obi-Wan, burning the worst of his fever away and trying to slow his racing heartbeat.

Qui-Gon continually fed energy into the boy for the rest of the trip in a desperate attempt to keep him stable and holding perilously onto unconsciousness, rather than the dreaded touch of a potentially life-stealing coma.

They couldn't have reached the Agri-Corps compound fast enough. He picked up Obi-Wan's boneless form from the passenger seat as soon as he'd pulled up at the med facilities and pushed hurriedly past a flustered RonTha, who was gibbering unstoppably at the sight of his prone charge. He quickly and easily raced through the double entry doors before they had fully opened.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

One chapter to go, guys.

Wow, I just realised how short this fic is. I'm currently writing a HP one, and I've done about 30,000 words, and they haven't even gotten to Hogwarts yet! This is about 13,500 words in total. That's a big difference. I think that's why JA is so much easier to write – the missions can be as short as you want them to be, but with HP you generally need to do the whole year. If anyone was interested, the HP story is called "Power Surge," and should be up in the next one or two years. It's a Harry-Ginny fic (I've always been their shipper), set in Harry's sixth year. Look out for it, either here or atSIYE - it's an awesome Harry-Ginny site. Just Google it, since I can never type web addresses here.

Most of all, I have to apologise for my late update … okay, super late update. My grandmother has just recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer, so I have naturally gone to visit her many times. Because she lives nearly four hours away (depends on who is driving. With my dad it's three hours :) ) I haven't had much time to get to the net. And then I've just moved down to Melbourne, to on-campus accommodation at Swinburne to start Uni, which meant that I didn't have the net until just now. So, I apologise profusely to everyone, especially when I left you all with such a big cliffie.

Thankyou to everyone who reviewed. There were so many of you! Thanks! So, now I have a record-number of replies for chapter 8, to a total of 20 reviewers. Thanks guys! Much appreciated. :) Oh, and also, I've decided that as soon as this fic is finished (as in fully posted) I'm going to remove all the replies I've added here. They're longer than the story:) However, never fear because I've created a Yahoo Group so that you can see them there, as well as ask questions, get updates recommendations and sneak peeks of any work that I'm doing. You can get the link from my bio page.

To replies:

Nathalia Potter: You got to reviewing quickly! Thanks! I guess it helps that we're in the same time zone … when I post it's about 1:00 am for some people … but anyway, thanks! I absolutely loved your review … I couldn't stop laughing for so long! I can't argue with you there … rabid fans are uber scary! I hope I updated soon enough hides behind her computer screen as she is attacked by a mob. I know, I know, I'm really slack. I always take so long! You know what generation Aussie you are? Wow! I still can't work it out, but one of my ancestors came over with the first fleet as a convict. Great record, huh? Anyway, thanks for the awesome review!

Nelarun: I am Aussie. Er, actually if you have knives, er, I don't live there anymore … I live far, far away from you … ;) And my fic has fans? Wow, that's soooo sweet. I'm really happy now. Thanks! And I'm sorry about the cliffie, but I can't help myself. I'm a cliffie junkie. Anyway, thanks for your wonderful review!

Sithspawned: Hmm, you never know who I might kill off … maybe even Xanatos … hmm – wait, that just happened. Dammit, I was trying to be mysterious. It never works out for me. Anyway, thanks for you awesome review, and I'm glad you love this fic. It means a lot to me to hear that. Ta! Oh, and a big, fuzzy "WELCOME!" to my review page. :)

Lilly: Germany? Wow! That's awesome! Thanks for telling me … that's a long way from here. I sound so dumb at the moment, so I'll stop :). I'm glad you like my story, thankyou. Oh, and by the way, a big and warm "WELCOME!" to my review page! Thanks for your review!

Clone Trooper: No probs, I'm glad to have you here. :) I do feel a little sorry for Obi-Wan, too. Though I love the angst too much to feel too bad. I'm so evil. I love that: "Make Jinny get Xanny." Very good. :)

Child-of-the-Dawn: You're reviewing before school? That's so cool! You are so dedicated. You could have waited until after school, you know … I wouldn't have minded. Thanks, though! Wow! I feel so privileged. Thanks! And it's alright, I fixed Xan up for you … though I think I gave him more than just a smack … do you think a hole through the chest was too much:D I think I'll have to start reading or writing more mush or something, too, and follow your lead. You have a great idea going there, since yesterday I had to go to the dentist to get a filling! Anyway, thanks for your awesome review!

master kaym: I know, I know, I'm evil. :) I've had just about everyone tell me that, so far … including myself. I'm under no delusions … I know I'm evil, especially when it comes to cliffies. :) I love when Qui-Gon is worried for Obi-Wan, too. He can be a really cold git sometimes, so it's nice to see him fret over Obi-Wan's wellbeing. And I agree with you about reviews. I should write for myself, but it makes it so much easier when you get reviews! Anyway, thanks for your review!

whatevergirl: Xanatos is great? Er, you make me nervous. I killed him off, and now I'm bound to get a million flames. Not that I have that many people reading this fic. Anywho, sorry! Oh, and I had faith in Qui-Gon, too … but only because I knew what was going to happen. :) I love how you had faith in him, though. Qui-Gon needs a bit of the stuff, though he does deserve a little doubt, leaving Obi-Wan on Bandomeer like that. Pouts Nasty Master. Oh, I am so crazy. I wrote the thing and yet I'm still getting grumpy with Qui-Gon because of what he's done in the fic. Yep, mental. :) Anyway, guess I'd better go, now. Thanks for your review!

coymelody: Sorry I took so long to update! Hope you didn't actually go crazy. But then again, if you did you could just join me and we could write fics and go on crazy sprees together. Hey, it works for me. :) Anyway, back on topic. Thanks for you review! Oh, and "WELCOME!" to my review page. I love seeing new … I was going to say faces, but I don't actually know what anyone looks like. So, er, I love getting new pen-names! Anyway, thanks for your awesome review!

Tiamath: Early birthday … well, belated birthday now. I turned 18 on the 4th. Yay! Now I can legally write while I'm drunk:) Heh heh heh. Actually, that sounds that now I'm 18 I can write while I'm drunk, not the other way around. Meh, oh well. Doesn't matter at this time of night. Anyway, thanks a mill for the Happy Birthday! I actually thought of changing the ending of the story when I read you review. Maybe I should write an AU ending to my AU ending. Hmm, that would be an idea. It might stop all the Xanatos fans from trying to kill me … Anywho, thanks for your awesome review! Oh, and I've heard 'eh' a lot, but 'er' is one that stumps me. I think I'm the only person I've ever heard say it … and I picked it up from Harry Potter. Oh, I'm such a geek.

i luv ewansmile: You summed it up perfectly … the whole Qui-Gon's smiling at Obi-Wan, and he's smiling back. I hadn't really thought about it that much. I love it! Yay! Qui-Gon is such a dufus (sorry, I've been using that word a lot recently … my sister has got a chocolate Labrador puppy and it's slightly … er, silly. Anyway, it's become my favourite word, now). Qui-Gon finally gets it through his thick skull that Obi-Wan isn't like Xanatos and then drops his guard and … well, yeah. I'll stop now. Anywho, I hope I didn't make you wait too long for this update! I know, I'm slack :)! Anyway, thanks for your awesome review!

Yasona Black: I guess you're in a Quandary, then … about cliffies, that is. Oh, my lame joke just got worse. I didn't think it was possible. I hadn't seen you for a while … I thought I'd scared you off … one of my first reviewers! But, yay, I found you again:) No, seriously, it's nice to have you back, is all. Hope you enjoy! Thanks for your review!

The Burninator Named Trogdor: Oh, you are so going to kill me about Xanatos! Sorry, but I had this planned and written up for so long! Don't hurt me! cringes But I absolutely love your fic idea. I think I should email you and we should work out an awesome storyline. I love the fever idea. If there's anyone else reading these messages between Laura and I, the ideas are copywritten … copywrited … are they words? … you know what I mean … to Laura, so no stealing! Or else I'll hunt you down and give you my craziness. Grr! Sorry, back on topic. You gave me an idea with your hate vibes (and by the way, I did see them :) ) SUN, HOT, SWIMMING, BEACH … er, I can't think of any more words at the moment. But, did you feel the heat vibes? I hope they helped. Anyway, thanks for you ever-awesome and totally essay-length review:) I'll contact you.

Cowgirl4Christ: I had to look Maine up to see where you were from, and found out that Maine's state bird was a chickadee. I didn't know it was a real bird! I feel so stupid. Anyway, "WELCOME!" to my review page. It's nice to have you. Thankyou for your wonderful comments! I'm sorry I took so long to update.

Geri K: Another Aussie! We're definitely going to take over this website. ;D And you had awesome front-row seats for the fireworks. Cool! Not fair! Anywho, ta for the review!

wyldcat: Back to school … you poor thing! I've just started Uni, but I only have a few hours a week so far. Yay! I didn't know you were from Sydney, I just knew you were from good ol' NSW. I know, I know, I'm sorry … another cliffie! I just love them. Like I told Nelarun, I'm a cliffie junkie:) Anyway, as always, thanks for you wonderful review!

Writer of all: But you have reviewed every chapter! And I got your longest review for anything on any site? I'm speechless! Wow! That is so awesome! Really, I'm having trouble breathing while I type this! THANKYOU SO MUCH! Wow, I can't think of anything to write … and that's saying something … It's usually virtually impossible to shut me up:D I'm glad you liked the cliffie … I keep on being told that I'm evil for having such a horrible cliffie, so it's nice to hear that you enjoyed it! Anyway, thanks for your brilliant review, as ever!

Fifilla: I'm glad you like my fic. And you've been reading "The Death of All Hope"? Wow! Thanks! I know, I know, I'm evil about cliffies! ;D And I'm sorry I take so long to update, too! You're from Germany, too? Awesome. So is one of my other reviewers! Anyway, a big, warm and fuzzy "WELCOME!" to my review page! Thanks for the awesome comments!

Kim: I hope I didn't make you wait too long. I attempt to update often, but with trying to get organised for Uni, it ends up that I only get to post once a week! Meh. I'm so slack! I'm glad you liked reading the last chappie, though. And I think I owe you a warm "WELCOME!" to my review page!

Jedi Master Kekelina: Well, yet another warm "WELCOME!" :) I thought at first you were telling me that you were going to kill me, but then I realised that you were talking about Xanatos … whew! ;D I've already been threatened by a mob of rabid fans … and I didn't even know this fic had fans! I'm sorry about the late update, too! I can't believe how long it took me! Anyway, babbling on here. So tired. Anywho, thanks for your review! Hope you liked the update!

Okay, done now.

TTFN.

BaBaKaNuSh-13