--
As they stood in line, Olivia got a chance to get a closer look at the women sharing the prison with her. They seemed to be comprised of all ages, some looking as young as eighteen, others approaching and passing middle age. Her initial instinct was to try and figure which ones were in for what crime, but out of context - out of the familiarity of her own comfort zone as a cop - it was harder than it looked.
"I hope you have enough paper and pens for all the books you're going to write in here," Nikki leaned in and whispered slyly.
Olivia gave her a sideways look and shook her head. "I wasn't analysing anyone," she whispered in return.
"Of course you weren't."
"Next!" came the call from the serving counter.
Olivia stepped up and came face to face with Shell Dockley, who startled upon seeing Benson.
"Careful she doesn't spit in your food," Nikki warned.
The blonde sneered. "Shut it, Wade."
"That won't be necessary," Olivia stated coldly. Dockley saw the look and decided to take her own advice. Benson looked down at the selection of food, which comprised of two choices that both looked to be about the same mash of ingredients. Pointing at the first option, Olivia said, "I'll have some of that."
Dockley all but slammed it onto the plate and turned to Nikki. "What do you want?"
Benson coughed and got Shell's attention. "I think I'll have a bit more."
Shell made a condescending face and replied, "Well, you only get what you're allowed, and that's all you're allowed."
Benson leaned forward ever so slightly and repeated, "I think I'll have a bit more." It only took Dockley a fraction of a second to make up her mind. With a slight tremble in her hand, she scooped up a spoonful of the mash and put it on Olivia's plate.
Wade could barely suppress her laugh. She pointed at the same concoction Olivia chose. "I'll have that." The slop hit her plate with a loud thud and she moved on, but not before scrunching up her nose and asking, "What's that awful smell? It smells like someone shit themselves."
Dockley's reply of "Bitch" was loud enough for the line to hear, but the two women didn't bother to turn around and instead walked over to a table on the far side of the room. Nikki slid into a seat and Olivia followed suit.
"Who's your new friend?" one of the women already at the table asked.
"This is Olivia. She's from America." Nikki imparted the last bit of information with an exaggerated tone of awe.
"Ooooh!" the women replied in kind.
Putting a hand on Olivia's shoulder and putting her at ease, Nikki said, "Yvonne Atkins, this is Olivia Benson. And the lovely woman across from you is Barbara Hunt, as of today, my ex-cellmate."
"Nice to meet you," Benson said.
"Yeah," Yvonne snorted, "it's a regular Sunday social club."
"Well, it is nice to meet you, Olivia," Barbara said.
"Thanks."
Two women who appeared to be attached at the hip approached the table.
"Nikki, who's your new friend?" the shorter one asked.
"This is Olivia."
"Well, hello Olivia…"
"… nice to meet you," the other finished.
"Olivia," Nikki informed, "the tall one there would be Julie Johnston. And the other one's Julie Saunders. To keep things simple, we just call them…"
"The two Julies," they said in unison.
"Don't worry, you'll get used to that," Nikki replied.
Yvonne scoffed. "Christ, I haven't."
"So, Olivia," Julie S ventured, "me an' Jules usually try and figure out what the new girls are in for, you know, for a bit of a laugh. We've gotten pretty good over the last few years, haven't we, Jules?"
"We have."
"So Jules decided, after overhearing your conversation there with Shell Dockley, completely by accident, mind, that it's some kind of assault? You look like you can take care of yourself…"
"… and maybe someone tried to pull one on you?" Julie J chimed in.
"Now me, knowing the business as I do…"
"… as you do…"
"I was thinking more along the lines of prostitution."
Olivia's eyes doubled in size.
Julie S held out her hands. "Now don't take that the wrong way, Liv," she apologized. "Alls I'm sayin' is, you've got a body that I can imagine would be of some use to you, if you get my meaning."
"I think we all do, Jules, thank you," Nikki said.
The two Julies brushed aside her reply and looked at Olivia.
"So if it isn't too much to ask…"
"…what are you in for?"
Benson took note of the reactions around the table. Barbara very politely continued to eat her meal, though Olivia could tell she was paying acute attention. Yvonne was leaning in, her curiosity obvious and overt. Nikki, already knowing the answer also continued eating, only half-listening to Olivia's response.
"You really want to know?" All interested parties nodded their heads. "Well, it started because I came home early from work one day and found my husband in bed with the mailman."
Nikki coughed so hard that Yvonne looked over in concern. "Oi. You okay there?"
Hitting her chest to clear the airway, Nikki nodded and took a drink. "I'm fine."
"Anyway," Benson continued, "as I stood in the doorway of the bedroom with the meat cleaver in my hand, I played the 'Either/Or' game." She saw the puzzlement on the faces of her audience, so she clarified, "The 'Either/Or' game. Either him or him. Either the man I've been married to for five years who is banging the mailman, or the mailman who leaves my packages out on the doorstep in the rain."
"How did you decide?" Julie J asked breathlessly.
Olivia shrugged. "I didn't. The mailman decided for me. He called out 'Oh, God!' and my asshole of a husband said, 'Yeah, yeah, yeah!' The mailman said, 'No, no, no! I mean, oh God, your wife!' By the time I lunged at them, the mailman was out the bedroom window. Lucky for him, it wasn't a two-storey house."
Nikki pressed her lips together to hold in the laugh, but Yvonne had no such qualms. With a full laugh, she swore, "Bastard!"
Julie S bit her finger. "What happened to your husband?"
"We got into a huge knock-down-drag-out fight," she sighed. "I substituted the sharp cutting pleasure of the cleaver with the satisfaction of hitting him with my fists."
"I told you she could take care of herself," Julie J said to her friend.
"Next thing I know, he's on the floor, bleeding from the head. Cracked his temple on the corner of the dresser he bought me for an anniversary gift. So here I am. Manslaughter. The end."
"Christ," the two Julies whispered in tandem.
"Bastard had it coming to him," Yvonne pronounced. "And you're only in here because bloody men stick up for their own kind. No woman judge would give that kind of sentence. Bastards."
Before she could respond, out of the corner of her eye, Olivia saw a small brunette inching her way towards the table. Yvonne was the first to say something.
"What are you doing skulking around, Denny? Speak up."
Denny stepped forward and fidgeted for a few seconds before glancing down at Olivia and managing, "I was wondering if I could talk to you."
"Sure."
"I mean, somewhere private."
Olivia looked around the table, then back at Denny. "You can say whatever you want to me here, don't worry."
Twisting a strand of hair around her finger, she shifted from one foot to the other, unsure of the situation.
"Oh, for God's sake, spit it out, Denny," Yvonne ordered.
"I was just… I mean, about earlier. We're okay you and me, yeah?"
Olivia nodded her understanding. "Denny, what's passed is past. I don't hold grudges. But you need to take stock of your life and your friends and figure out what's best for you. I wasn't lying back there; you look like a good kid, Denny. Get your shit together."
Denny gave a shy smile. "You're all right, Olivia. Thanks."
When the young girl left, Nikki tapped her forehead and whispered conspiratorially, "She's a head inspector."
"Really?" Barbara asked.
Yvonne frowned. "What? You mean a shrink?"
"One and the same."
"You going to get us all to confess about pissing our beds when we was kids?"
Benson laughed. "There are some things I don't need to know about the women I'm stuck in prison with."
A ripple of laughter went around the table.
"Listen, Liv, it was good to meet you, but…"
"… we've got to get back to work or…"
"Bodybag will have our tits!"
As the two Julies walked away, Olivia admitted, "I'm getting used to only understanding half of what anyone says around here."
After another round of laughter faded away, Yvonne tilted her head and asked, "What
was all that about with Denny?"
Nikki jerked her thumb in Olivia's direction. "She doesn't like to be called 'Miss America'."
Benson gave her a gentle kick under the table. "I had a run-in with her and Shell Dockley earlier today in my cell. After this little accident," she pointed to the cut on her cheek, "we all came to the agreement that Shell would do her thing and I would do mine."
"Yeah," Wade crowed, "the agreement being, she'd kick Dockley's arse if she tried her shit on Olivia again."
"Really?" Barbara said in amazement.
"You need to get some more words in your vocabulary, Barbara, honestly," Nikki quipped.
"Well, good for you," Yvonne praised. "I think you and I will get along just fine. Besides," she slyly glanced at Nikki, "any friend of Nikki's is a friend of mine."
"Ow!" Barbara exclaimed as she felt a foot sharply connect with her shin.
"Sorry, Babs," Nikki apologized.
Yvonne grinned knowingly and stood up. "Nature calls, my ladies. I'm sure I'll see you all later."
--
They finished lunch and Barbara went off to do some writing, leaving the two new cellmates alone. Nikki suggested they clean up and, as they washed up in the small cell, she asked, "Why did you tell the two Julies you were in for manslaughter?"
Benson shrugged. "I don't know. It looked to me like they could use a good story to add a bit of flavour to their day. Seemed more interesting than telling them I got busted for possession of weed." Nikki conceded the point with a nod. "So how do you pass the days in here?"
Nikki dried her plate and gave the question some thought. "Well, there's karaoke on Fridays." She pretended not to see Olivia's 'we are not amused' expression. "No? Maybe the library's more your thing. There's a small one here; not much of a selection, but it helps me get through the boredom sometimes. You've seen the pool table. Some of the girls play for phone cards or fags, but don't let the screws catch you doing it. There are university courses you can take, though you've obviously been down that road. And rumour has it, there's a gym around here."
"Not the physically active type?"
Wade pursed her lips in amusement. "Not the gym type." The quip got her an eye roll. "I spend a lot of time in the potting shed." She realized the suggestiveness of the words as soon as they were out of her mouth. "Potting, I mean. Plants and flowers and the like. Not really your thing though, is it?"
"Never had much time," Olivia confessed. "The closest to green I got was a walk through Central Park."
"Well, you can always join me if you want. I mean, obviously, you don't have to follow me around every minute of the day; I just thought on your first day, you might want to get the ins and outs of the place."
Olivia smiled. She was glad the cop in her was on the alert even when she wasn't, because Wade made it almost easy to forget where she was and why. "And here I was worried I was being a pain in the ass by tagging along everywhere you went."
"No, no," Nikki assured her, "not at all. I reserve the right to change my mind if I find you behind me in the loo, but right now, you're all right, Liv." She noticed the reaction the moniker got. "It is okay to call you that isn't it? Julie S used it earlier, so I thought-"
"It's okay," Benson said gently. "It's just something only friends call me, so it's a bit jarring to hear it in here." Before the lifer could get the wrong impression, Olivia added, "I consider you a friend, Nikki." She was pleased to see the blush of thanks stain the other woman's cheeks. "And who couldn't like the two Julies?"
"No one."
"Exactly."
"Okay, but just so you know, no one calls me 'Nicola'."
Olivia's face was a mask of innocence. "Oh, really?"
"Shit," Nikki groaned, "I'm going to be sorry I mentioned it, aren't I?"
--
"This is a spade, this is a pot, and this is dirt."
Olivia crossed her arms and bit her lip. "Damn, I should have brought a pad of paper to take notes!"
"Very funny," Nikki replied. "I'm just starting with the basics since I don't know how knowledgeable you are."
"Sorry, Ms. Wade. Teach me more."
"Cheek. Here, fill these pots up about halfway. We'll put some flowers in, then fill it up the rest of the way."
A good half hour passed with neither woman speaking. Instead, they worked side by side in tandem, doing their task in an easy-going silence. They worked closely together, and, every so often, their hands or arms or bodies would brush against the other, though neither of them took notice. Olivia found an unusual comfort in standing beside the tall woman. It surprised her, all things considered. Warming up to someone who killed a cop wasn't something she thought she'd ever do. The wall of blue was a strong one, and yet… she couldn't quite pinpoint why, but she knew she was a fair judge of character, and, that in the short time she got to know Nikki, she could trust this woman. That was a welcome feeling on any given day, but considering the circumstances and situation, it was invaluable.
Olivia was the first to break the silence. "I can see why you enjoy this."
"Why's that, then?"
"It's very comforting," Benson remarked. "The solitude and the sense of creating something. These are beautiful," she said as she lifted one of the small potted flowers. "I bet beauty's a commodity you don't get much around here."
Nikki's eyes flicked over Olivia from head to toe and back. "Oh, I don't know about that."
Benson couldn't help but laugh at the overt come-on. "If these walls could talk, I bet it would be a much more interesting book than the one I have in mind."
"I don't know what you mean," she replied innocently, though her wily grin betrayed her.
"Yeah, I bet you don't."
Nikki glanced down at her watch. "Shit, I'm going to be late. I've got a class to get to. Are you going to be okay on your own?"
"Of course," Benson told her. "You don't have to baby-sit me 24/7. I can take care of myself."
"As I've seen."
"Get going. I'll straighten up things here."
"Okay, thanks. I'll see you later, yeah?"
"Unless I figure out a way to teleport out of here, yeah."
"Don't give the walls anything more to talk about while I'm gone."
"Go!"
With Nikki gone, Olivia cleaned up, then leaned back to look at her handiwork. The flowers really were beautiful. She'd have to make it a point of joining Nikki out here on a regular basis. Looking around the shed, she laughed out loud at her thoughts. 'Business, Benson, business. Jesus.' She reached into her back pockets and pulled out a plastic card. She decided it was time to try and find a phone.
--
"Stabler."
"Elliot, it's me."
"Hey, how's life in the big house?" her partner asked over the phone line.
"Well, it's not Riker's, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. Made contact with Michelle Dockley."
"That was fast."
"Yeah, well, she found me."
"That doesn't sound good." When he got nothing in return but a grunt, he got right to the point. "What've you got?"
Benson looked around to make sure she couldn't be overheard. "Not much, but it's a start. I'm going to let it sit for a couple of days before I make my next move."
"The captain only signed you off for four weeks."
She nodded even though he couldn't see it. "I know, but I don't want to force it."
"Makes sense," he agreed. "How're you doing?"
She smiled. Even across the ocean, he was watching her back. It was one of the things she valued the most about him. "I'm okay. Met a few of the women who are friendly enough."
"Get propositioned yet?"
"Elliot!" she exclaimed.
"What?" he laughed. "You're hot. You're in a women's prison where there must be a handful of other hot women. Two plus two is-"
"-your fantasy life gone out of control," she finished. His laughter was infectious, and she couldn't help but join in. "Besides, I've only been here half a day."
"You're losing your touch, Liv."
"Very funny."
The laughter faded and he asked, "You're okay though, right?"
"I'm fine, Elliot," she reassured him. "Really. Not my idea of a vacation hotspot, but I'm figuring things out."
"What's your cellmate like?"
Olivia knew her answer would raise his eyebrows. They had both looked over the files of more than a dozen of the prisoners before Benson's arrival. Wade was one of them.
"She's good. She's really been helpful."
"Yeah?"
"It's Nikki Wade."
She waited for the other shoe to drop and at long last, Stabler said, "The cop killer?"
"El…"
"Sorry," he cut in. "You're right, I read the file, too. It's just hard not to stand up for one of our own, even if the cop was an asshole. How are you two getting along?" Her soft chuckle rolled down the line and he said, "I see. And here I thought you were losing your touch."
"I've got to go; there's someone waiting to use the phone."
He laughed again. "I bet there is. Call me tomorrow."
"I won't be doing anything about Dockley for another couple of days."
"Doesn't matter," he told her. "I just want to make sure you're all right." Just as she was beginning to appreciate his concern, he added, "Besides, my fantasy life could use some fresh material."
"There must be something wrong with the connection," she growled, "because I couldn't have heard that right. Ass." She hung up with the sound of his laughter still ringing in her ears.
--
She looked around and wondered what to do next. In prison, she knew you had nothing but time, but she was just beginning to realize what it was like to have it drag. Back in New York, whether on the job or a day off, there always seemed to be something to do, from chasing perps to running errands across town. There was never a moment without sound, but, she imagined the nights here would be so quiet, she'd be able to hear the time tick away. Glancing at her watch, she realized she only had another six hours before she found out first hand.
She could find this alleged gym Nikki spoke of, she thought, but decided to leave it as something to look forward to tomorrow. And after thinking about the silence she had to look forward to later on, she wasn't quite up to checking out the library just yet, either. A cheer went up from a girl over at the pool table, which drew Benson's attention. With a wry smile, she made her way over.
"Hiya," a young girl with short spiky blonde hair greeted. "I'm Shaz."
"Hey," Benson answered in return. "Olivia."
"Nice to meet ya, Olivia." She gestured to the table with a tilt of her head. "I can't find anyone who wants to play, on account I win too much. You look like you might be a bit of a challenge. Wanna play?"
Even if she had never played in her life, she couldn't have avoided being lured in by the easy-going nature of the girl. "Sure."
Shaz caught her looking around and told her, "We have to share the stick. Screws are worried we're going to bash each other over the head or something."
"So only one person getting bashed over the head is considered better than two?"
The blonde grinned and shrugged. "I 'spose so. You wanna rack them?"
"Sure."
"Rules are like this," Shaz detailed. "Straight 8-ball. One fag for the win, and a fag if you scratch on the 8 ball. Easy, yeah?"
"Yeah." Benson bent down at the far end of the table and gathered the balls. Once they were all on the slate surface, she formed a triangle with her arms and the bank of the table, and in one fluid motion, rolled the balls to the spot. Placing her hands firmly on two of the corners, she made a perfect triangle of balls.
Denny watched the technique from her spot at a nearby table and hooted. "You've reeled in a shark, Shaz! Don't smoke those fags just yet!"
Olivia lifted her eyes from the table and glanced at the young girl who was leaning on the cue stick and gaping. With a wink, Benson said, "Break."
An hour later, 7 wins and two scratches born of frustration from Shaz, Olivia placed the stick on the table and held out her hand. "Pay up, kiddo."
"Where did ya learn to play like that?" Shaz asked grudgingly as she counted out the cigarettes.
"I got to know a guy back home by the name of Lenny." Remembering Briscoe, a wistful smile crossed her face.
"Yeah, well… you think you could teach me?"
Olivia laughed. "I'm sure I could find the time." She closed her hands around the cigarettes without a glance. This got her a wide-eyed look from Shaz.
"You're not gonna count them?"
"Why? Can't you count?"
"Sure I can."
"You going to cheat me?"
"Hell, no."
"Then I don't need to count them, do I?"
Denny smiled. "I told you she was all right, Shaz. What'd I say?"
"She did say that," the blonde said.
"Be here same time tomorrow, Shaz. You've got talent, but you need work on your style." She dropped four cigarettes on Denny's table. "I don't even smoke," she revealed, before walking away.
--
Nikki entered the cell to see Olivia sitting in the corner, her legs bent up in a lotus position, and her hands loosely on her thighs. A quip tickled the end of her tongue, but Nikki thought better of it. Quietly stepping, she got halfway across the room before Benson spoke.
"Don't bother."
"Sorry," Nikki said. "Didn't want to disturb you."
"You weren't. I wasn't really meditating."
Wade took in the scene again, her eyes slightly narrowing as if scrutinizing the situation more closely. "So you're just sitting like that because the chair's too hard?"
Olivia slowly unfolded her long limbs and stood up. "Oh," she grimaced and stretched. "I never had the chance to meditate in New York. Some of my patients swear by it, so I thought I'd try it." In truth, it was Alex Cabot who praised the benefits to high heaven.
"Considering you're not treating them for a sore tooth, I'd question taking the advice of your patients, but that's just me."
"You might have a point there."
Motioning over to the corner, Nikki asked, "So, did you find that was working?"
"The meditating? Not a bit. You know, I always had so much going on on the outside that I never had time to think. And now that I'm here, I'm finding I don't have much to think about."
"Really?" They both sat at the small table. "I found it quite the opposite." Off Olivia's questioning gaze, Nikki clarified, "Out there, I did a lot of living day to day; didn't think too much about my past or my future, quite frankly. Now, it's all I do. Things I would have done differently. Things I want to do. Things I may never get to do." There was a short moment of quiet, then Nikki said, "I'd try that meditation thing if I thought I could origami my legs like that."
Not for the first time that day, Benson admired the woman sitting across the table. Figuring a change of subject was in order, Olivia looked at the spiral notebook Nikki had brought into the cell. "What course are you taking?"
"English. Through the Open University."
"Ah," Benson replied as she pointed around the cell, "that explains the books. Bit of a bookworm?"
Nikki shrugged. "Well I figure I'll never write one, so I might as well read them."
Olivia raised an eyebrow as a thought occurred to her. "I thought you weren't allowed books. I'm sure these aren't all from the library."
Caught, the lifer sheepishly remarked, "Yeah, well, if the screws wrote us up for every infraction, they'd be doing paperwork all day. And God forbid they do any real work around here. Speaking of which, what have you been doing all day?"
"Oh, right," Benson remembered. Walking over to her bunk, she lifted up her pillow and grabbed the small items that were hidden. She tossed five cigarettes on the table. "I've been out earning what would constitute as a living around here, I guess." Now it was Nikki's turn to look puzzled. "I played some pool today," Olivia explained. "Won those. You might as well have them. Consider it a down payment for putting up with me."
Nikki's expression changed from puzzled to amazed. "You won these playing pool?"
"Well, those and the four others I gave away to Denny."
"These are like gold round here, you know that, don't you?" When Olivia brushed the comment aside, Wade asked, "Is there anything you're not good at?"
"Skiing. I can't ski worth shit."
Shaking her head, Nikki promised, "Well then, I'll be sure to keep you away from the Larkhall Alps."
Hollamby chose that moment to announce her presence at the door with an exaggerated cough. "They're serving tea. You'd best get down there while the food's still hot. Come on, get going!"
"You're all charm, Sylvia, really," Nikki complimented facetiously.
The guard sniffed. "That's Miss Hollamby to you, thank you!"
"Let's go, Liv," Nikki said. "We wouldn't want to miss the Chef's Surprise."
--
Even with Olivia, Nikki, Barbara and Yvonne sitting and contemplating at the same table they shared at lunch, no one could figure out what the surprise was, as they pushed the indefinable food source around their plates.
"The first thing I'm doing when I get out of this shit hole is having an enormous plate of chips and a bottle of champagne, I swear to Christ," Yvonne muttered, lifting her fork, inspecting the sample, then dropping it back on her plate.
Nikki leaned back and closed her eyes. "I'd kill for a good curry." Realizing the implication of her words, she opened her eyes and held up her hands. "Figuratively speaking, of course." The women around the table chuckled. Turning her attention to Barbara, she asked, "How 'bout you, Babs? Anything special on the menu once you get out?"
The older woman looked up and offered a small but genuine smile. "I always used to make shepherd's pie for Peter. It was his favourite. I'd like to have that again. And a nice cup of hot tea."
"Yeah," Yvonne agreed, "not like this shit they try and pass off in here. And how 'bout you, Liv? Think you'll miss anything?"
Olivia shook her head. "If all goes well, I won't be in here long enough to miss anything." She looked down at her plate and couldn't disguise her disgust. "But I'll tell ya, I wouldn't turn down a New York hotdog right now.
"How has your first day been, Olivia?" Barbara asked.
The cop leaned back in a pose that mirrored Nikki's and shrugged. "Sobering, shitty, frightening and like I had a glass of cold water thrown in my face," she admitted. The group nodded as one, only all too familiar with the feeling. "But I guess not as bad as it could have been."
"Yeah, you got a good cellmate there," Yvonne said mischievously and tilted her chin in Nikki's direction.
"And not to take advantage of someone else's misfortune, but I've got a cell all to myself," Barbara beamed.
Nikki wagged her finger between the two women. "And these were all I could come up with for best mates," she told Olivia.
Yvonne's eyebrows went up and she smiled broadly. "Cheek!"
--
