It was the start of a brand new week, though that approach was reserved only for those on the outside of prison walls. Inside Larkhall, it was business as usual, right down to Nikki Wade having a book glued to her hand.

"Why are you always readin'?" Denny had asked at breakfast.

"Lots of reasons," Nikki replied, surprised at the question. "To better myself. To make sense of the world. And sometimes, just to remember there is a life outside these walls." She knew the young girl had been working hard to learn to read and write on the inside. "How are things coming along with your studies, Denny?"

The girl's face brightened. "Oh, brilliant! I wrote a letter to me mum the other day."

"Do you read books?"

"Not like those ones," Denny motioned to Nikki's thick novel. "I get a headache just lookin' at the size of that one."

Nikki laughed. "Well maybe when I'm done, we'll read it together."

"Yeah?"

"Sure."

"Thanks, Nikki." She saw Shaz wave at her from the other side of the room. Turning to Wade, she said, "I'll see you later, yeah?"

"Go on."

When Denny was out of earshot, Barbara said, "That was a very nice thing for you to do, Nikki."

"You're so damn quiet, Babs, I forgot you were here."

"Deflecting compliments as usual, I see. Speaking of which, I didn't see Olivia this morning."

"She was down here first thing," Nikki explained. "I think she wanted to hit the gym before everyone got going."

"Yes, she did attract quite a crowd last time."

Nikki searched the older woman's face for a sign of anything other than innocence, but found none. "You're a sly one, Barbara, I'll give you that."

The slight twitch of her mouth gave her away. "Age has its advantages."

"I bet." She gathered her dishes and book and stood up. "I'm going to wash up."

"Just in time for Olivia to be finished her exercises, no doubt. Perhaps slyness transcends age?"

"Perhaps," Nikki agreed, playing along. "I'll see you later."

She propped the tray of dishes against her left hip and flipped open the novel with her right hand. She passed through the door that separated the eating area from the residential wing and walked past the stairs on her way to her cell. She knew every square foot of the prison and this route by far required the least amount of attentiveness. So, with her nose in the book, Nikki didn't notice Shell approaching, and with the blonde nervously looking around to make sure Fenner wasn't nearby, there was an almost amusing near-miss of the two women as they reached the cell at the same time.

Nikki's head jerked up just in time and she retorted, "Watch it!"

"Piss off," Shell shot back.

"Whatever," she said, and turned to enter her cell, only to notice Shell doing the same. There was an awkward moment of stutter steps by the two cons, as each inched in the direction of the cell, but neither entering. Nikki had had enough. "What do you think you're doing? Get lost coming down from the threes?"

"Don't be pissy at me just because you're down here in the muck. Well, not entirely muck, is it? Your girlfriend's a bit of all right, in't she?"

"You mean Denny?" Nikki asked innocently.

Dockley scoffed. "As if Denny would touch you with a ten foot barge."

"She was closer than ten feet in the showers this morning when everyone left."

"Sod off," Shell glowered, unsure whether the brunette was joking or not. "I'm here to see Liv."

"What? Back to have your arse handed to you again?" Nikki sneered.

"Oh, haven't you heard?" Dockley asked, the malevolent edge unable to resist showing itself. "Me an' Liv have kissed and made up. I told her we're stuck with each other, so we might as well get on. We're best mates and all now."

"You're so full of shit, Dockley."

"You can ask her when you see her. Tell her I need to have a word."

Nikki made a face. "I'm not her bloody secretary. Go find her yourself."

Shell tapped the door frame with a painted fingernail. "I just might do that. Cheers."

Left alone in the cell, Nikki sat down in a nearby chair and wondered what the hell was going on.

--

Nikki had an odd sense of déjà vu when Benson entered the cell, robe tied around her waist, and her hair choppy and wet. This time, however, Nikki forced herself to concentrate on her book. She didn't need the distraction of Olivia's body clouding her judgment.

"Hey," Benson tossed over her shoulder as she dressed.

"Hey."

There must have been something in the tone, because as she tucked her white tee into her jeans, she stopped. "Is something wrong?"

"No," Nikki replied immediately, and tossing her book on the table, changed her mind just as quickly. "Yes." Olivia said nothing and instead waited for Nikki to continue. Wade stood up and paced the small cell, her brow furrowed and her thumbnail between her teeth. She didn't make eye contact with Benson as she sifted through her vocabulary to find the right words to convey her concerns, her suspicions, her fears. "What's going on with you and Shell Dockley?" was the best she could do.

Years of police work helped hide the surprise she felt hit her in the chest like a fist. "Sorry?"

Nikki stopped pacing and looked at Olivia with an unwavering gaze. "You and Shell Dockley," she repeated calmly. "She was here earlier, looking for you. Told me to tell you she wanted a chat. What about, I wonder?"

Olivia shook her head. "No idea."

"I know it's an odd question to ask considering the circumstances we find ourselves in, but do you respect me?"

"Respect you?" Benson echoed. "Of course I respect you."

"Then don't lie to me," she said simply.

"Nikki…"

"Is it drugs?"

Olivia was quiet for a moment, wondering what Dockley wanted. And more importantly, wondering what to tell Nikki.

The silence was seen as an admission of guilt by the lifer. "Shit!"

"Nikki, wait. It's not what you think."

Her laugh was a cold one. "Not what I think? I think you're in for drugs. I think Shell Dockley is up to her eyeballs in crank. I think one plus one is two. Tell me I'm wrong." It wasn't a plea as much as a dare.

Olivia stood up and put her hand on Nikki's arm. She tried not to flinch when Wade jerked her arm away. "Nikki. Will you please listen for one minute?"

"What? Listen to a smack head? Yeah, I'm sure I can believe every word that comes out of your mouth!"

"I'm a cop!" Benson whispered fiercely.

She might as well have slapped Nikki in the face. Under any other circumstances, her expression might have been a funny one. Her eyes widened like an animal caught in a beam of light and her mouth opened in shock. As the silence stretched between them, Olivia wondered what the other woman was thinking. Then, the most unusual thing happened - Nikki laughed. It started as a short cough of mirth that rolled into a chain of notes. Then, just as soon as it began, it ended, trailing off into a humourless whisper of air.

"You're having me on. A cop!"

Benson tried again to touch Nikki's arm, and the confession shocked the woman so much that she didn't notice the gesture. Keeping her voice to a bare whisper, she stressed, "Nikki, I know you don't have much reason to believe me, but I'm telling you the truth. I'm Detective Olivia Benson of the New York Police Department."

The wheels seemed to start turning again in Nikki's head, because the fire returned to her eyes. Misinterpreting what Olivia was saying, Wade snorted, "Why does that not surprise me? Bloody cops are bent no matter where you go!"

Benson turned her head slightly, puzzled. "What?"

"A cop, in prison for drug possession. That's a good one. No wonder you told me you were a shrink. People find out you're a cop and that's it for you, isn't it? So you come in here, make up some bullshit story, and carry on as if you're on the outside." Nikki shook her head. "You'd think prison would put a damper on your habit, but no, you pick it right back up, and with Shell Dockley of all bloody people. All these women who've come to trust you in such a short time. Barbara. Yvonne. Denny. The two Julies. What are you going to tell them? Or are you going to keep lying to them?" Nikki tilted her head towards the door. "Maybe I should tell them. What do you think?" She made her way in that direction when Benson twisted the lifer's arm behind her back and pushed her face down onto the table.

"Ow! Get the fuck off me!"

Benson bent over Wade's back, her weight holding the other woman down until she stopped fighting. With her mouth pressed against Nikki's ear, Benson whispered, "I don't want to hurt you, but will you shut up for one fucking minute?" She waited for Nikki to nod before standing up and letting the other woman do the same.

"Ow," she repeated, rubbing her arm.

"I'm sorry," Benson said truthfully. "Sit, please."

Nikki hesitated for a second, then thought better of it. Dropping herself unceremoniously onto the wooden chair, she barely looked up. "So?"

Benson slipped into the opposite chair and leaned forward. "Yes, I am a cop. But I'm not here because of a drug charge." She sucked in her breath and knew it was now or never. "I'm undercover." This bit of information made Nikki snap to attention, just as she suspected it would.

"You what?"

"I told you the truth. I'm a detective for the NYPD. I work in a division called Special Victims Unit. We only deal with cases that are sexually based or involve children. I'm here on a case."

"Here in Larkhall?" Nikki asked incredulously. "A bit out of your jurisdiction, isn't it?"

Although she could still hear the thread of suspicion wind through Nikki's words, she also knew the worst of it was over. "It's a case that has roots in England."

"No cops in England since I've been banged up?"

"We've got one on the outside helping out, but we were worried if we put anyone on the inside that they'd get recognized by someone. Besides," Olivia let herself show a cold smirk, "I'm not inclined to trust anyone else to do the job."

"I still don't know what job that is and what all this has to do with Shell Dockley."

"Before I say anything else, I want to make one thing clear." She squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her fingertips against her temple before continuing. "I've already said way too much, you understand that, right? I have broken the most important rule of undercover work - I've broken cover. In the best circumstances, that would mean I've blown everything I've worked hard to achieve. In the worst circumstances, that would mean my life. You know that if this gets out, I won't last to the end of the day. You know that, right?"

"I do."

"Then I guess the rest doesn't matter." She looked down at her hands. "For the last six months, my partner and I have been working on a drug case in New York. There hasn't been much to go on, but through some hard work and gut hunches, we found out this much - the heroin tied to our case is coming into New York from London."

"I thought you said you only dealt with sexual cases and kids," Nikki interrupted.

"We do," Olivia replied. "The drugs are coming into New York with kids. One kid at a time with a 'guardian'." She looked up into Nikki's eyes. "They're using the kids as drug mules."

"Makes sense, I guess," Wade said. "No one would think of checking a moppet."

Benson ran her fingers through her hair and sighed. "If only it were that simple." She had gone this far; there was no sense in stopping now. "They're making the kids swallow condoms full of heroin to bypass customs. Then the supplier who is traveling with the kid takes him somewhere, an abandoned building, an alley, anywhere they can get the kid alone and without witnesses... and… extracts the condoms."

"Extracts? Like, what, making him shit? What are we talking about here?"

"Nikki, they don't wait that long. Too much of a risk that the condoms will burst in the stomach. So they," her voice wavered for a fraction of a second before she found her strength, "they cut the condoms out of the kid. From sternum to pubic bone, and straight across the abdomen. They pull the condoms out and leave the kid to bleed to death."

The colour in Nikki's face drained away and her body jerked as her gag reflex kicked in. She barely made it to the toilet before throwing up in violent heaves. Benson jumped up and filled a cup with water at the sink before kneeling down beside the toilet. With a hand on Nikki's back, she handed the woman the water.

"Here, take this." The lifer took the cup in a shaky hand. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you. Or at least, I should have found a better way to tell you."

Nikki drank the water and put her hand on her stomach, willing it to settle. Reaching blindly behind her, she grabbed the nearby towel and wiped her mouth. "How can there be a better way to tell me they're making kids swallow drugs then butchering them to get them back?" She took a couple of deep breaths. "Bastards."

Olivia helped her to her feet and walked them to the bed. They sat side by side and didn't say anything for a long time.

--

"You still haven't told me what this has to do with Dockley."

Benson had been enjoying the silence and comfort of sitting beside Nikki. The con could almost make her forget the reason she was here. She should have known it was never that easy.

"When we traced the drugs back to London, we got as far as finding out the name of the guy controlling the supply. Weston. But we didn't have anything definitive to tie him to the kids. We had to go through hundreds of channels just to figure out who he was. But found nothing that would hold up in court, and nothing that would hold him responsible for the murders. We didn't know how to get closer without raising suspicion. Too many cops are in the pockets of these guys, and it's not like we can just show up on his doorstep and say, 'Hey, wanna deal me some drugs?' That kind of operation usually takes years. It was through one of the links that we found Billy Murdock - Shell Dockley's drug dealer on the outside. He's lowlife; a street thug who's just another cog in the wheel. We figured we could use him to get inside. We watched him for over a month. Every move, every deal he made."

"That's how you found out about Dockley."

Olivia nodded. "Yep. She's got a fairly steady diet of drugs coming into Larkhall. We thought that was our best shot."

Nikki gave this some thought before asking, "Why not just approach him directly?"

"We weren't sure we wouldn't scare him off. Like I said, we couldn't get anyone local to do it without worrying they'd be recognized, and we didn't think an American would be much better."

"Yeah, as soon as you opened your mouth, it would raise questions," Wade agreed.

"You got it. But by putting me here, establishing a criminal background of drugs… well, we had nothing to lose, did we?" Benson stood up and walked over to the sink to pour herself a cup of water. She hadn't counted on talking this much, but she wanted Nikki to know everything, and she knew even if she didn't, the lifer would question her until she did. Despite the circumstances, the thought made Olivia smile. Returning back to the bed, cup in hand, she sat down beside Nikki once again.

"So you got yourself banged up here in order to get friendly with Dockley, hoping it would get you into bed with this Billy, which would then get you into bed with this Weston bastard."

"Figuratively speaking, yes," Benson answered, pleased at how quickly Nikki's mind worked. It made things that much easier.

Nikki must have seen the appreciative look on Benson's face, because she flashed a smile for the first time since Olivia entered the cell. "I am a criminal, you know."

"I know."

The significance of Nikki's remark and Benson's reply was not lost on them. In an attempt to delay that conversation a little while longer, Nikki shifted the topic back to Benson.

"Have you had any luck?"

"More than we would have guessed, actually. I talked to Weston today."

"You what?"

Benson's expression acknowledged Nikki's surprise. "I know. I was just as shocked."

"I thought you said these things can take years to develop."

The cop shrugged. "We took a chance and made a push. Basically told him he wasn't the only game in town."

"You made him think you were willing to go through someone else, even though he was the guy you really wanted," Nikki surmised.

"Yep."

As layer after layer of the case peeled away, Nikki couldn't hide her interest. It was a knotted string meant to be unraveled, and she couldn't resist the challenge. "So what happened? I take it he went for it?"

"He did," Benson confirmed. "We started with an ounce last week, just to test the waters. Today he agreed to send a kilo to New York, with the idea of shipping more in the future. Well, his idea, anyway. With any luck, we won't need it."

Nikki's face was pensive. "Can I ask you something?"

"I think we've established that, yeah."

"How many of these kids have you found?" she asked quietly.

Benson looked down into her cup, then glanced up at the ceiling before looking at Nikki. "In six months, we've found five bodies. We suspect there's more and we just haven't found them yet."

"Bloody hell," Nikki whispered. She closed her eyes briefly, then said, "Wait a minute. How can he send these kids without someone missing them? Wouldn't it raise suspicion, these kids disappearing?"

"From the little we could find, these kids are homeless, probably looking for a few extra bucks, thinking they'll get a trip to America out of the deal. Or kids of immigrants who either don't speak the language or are too afraid to announce the fact that they're here illegally. The parents are offered some money and don't know where to turn to when their child doesn't come back. And if they do find the right channels, it means deportation."

Nikki sneered in displeasure. "If I had a kid gone missing, I'd tell them to screw deportation and find my child."

"I understand, Nikki," Olivia agreed gently, "but you have to remember that sometimes where they've come from is a hell of a lot worse than where they are. And fear will do funny things to people."

"It wouldn't make me forget my kid, I'll tell you that much." She took a few breaths to soften her edge. "So you've set up a deal with this Weston bloke and he's agreed to ship the drugs to New York."

"Yes."

"So another child could die."

This was the crux of the dilemma Benson had shared with Stabler. How do you get guarantees when nothing is certain? She opened her mouth to give Nikki some party line about how they'd do the best they could and that their chances were better this time, but she didn't have that kind of confidence. It sounded so much better coming from Elliot. Instead, she said simply, "I don't know. We hope we've got everything covered, but… I don't know."

"And you can live with that?"

Benson stood up and finished the rest of her water. Placing the cup on the ledge of the sink, she looked at her reflection in the small mirror above the taps. "I live with shit like this every day."

Though Nikki knew the words could do little to take away the weight of Olivia's burden, she said them anyway. "I'm sorry." When there was no reply, she pushed herself up and sat on the edge of the table, facing Benson. "Who else knows about this?"

Olivia turned and leaned against the sink. "My co-workers on the unit and a small handful of cops here in London."

"No one else?" Nikki asked. "Not Miss Betts? Not any of the screws?"

"No," Benson answered, shaking her head, "we figured the less people that knew the better. I didn't want even a hint that I was getting preferential treatment here. And we're a tight-knit bunch back home - we don't trust just anybody. Who knows who's in Weston's back pocket?"

"Thank you. For trusting me."

"Did I have a choice?" Benson asked, feigning defeat. "Nosy parker."

Nikki choked back a cough of surprise. "I prefer 'naturally inquisitive', thanks." Sharing a smile with Olivia, she then said, "I've got a question."

"Colour me surprised."

Wade ignored the jibe and asked, "On your first day here, did you set up that entire dust-up with Dockley?"

"No. That was sheer luck. I had planned on giving it a couple of days before I approached her."

"Well, your Bruce Lee makes so much more sense now." Her smile lingered for a bit, until she got serious again. "I've got another question. Do you really have someone on the outside waiting for you?"

Benson hadn't been expecting that one. "No," she answered truthfully.

Nikki pressed her lips together and shook her head. "I suppose I can see why you lied. God knows it must have shattered your moral code to be attracted to a crim." She chuckled derisively at the thought. "In fact, that must have been a bit of an ethical dilemma for you, yeah? What with you being a cop and me being a cop killer. Did you know that? That I killed one of yours?"

Benson pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. "Nikki, one day you're going to break your ankles jumping to conclusions." Sighing, she opened her eyes. "First, it's not always about you. Second, of course I knew what you were in for; I knew before I got here. Just like I know what Yvonne's in for. And Dockley. And about fifteen other prisoners here. You don't think they'd just drop me in here, unprepared, do you?" She didn't wait for an answer. "And do you really think I couldn't have gotten myself moved to another cell, even without any of the higher ups knowing who I was? Do you?"

Embarrassed, Nikki's eyes dropped to the floor. "No, I suppose not. So why didn't you? Get moved to another cell, I mean."

"Nikki…" She moved closer to the woman and reached out to touch her arm, repeating the same action as she had done earlier. This time, it was a much different gesture. She waited until the lifer lifted her head. Looking right into her eyes, Benson said, "I read your file, Nikki. And believe me, as sad as it is to say, your case isn't unique, especially for me. Yeah, my first instinct was to approach with caution and probably with more than a bit of distrust," she admitted. "But I'm a cop. You've got to understand why I would think the worst first. But if I've learned one thing, it's that things aren't always the way they appear. If Gossard hadn't been a cop, would I have felt the same? If I simply read the case on its own merit, would I still assign blame? Yeah, I would. On him. If I saw some piece of shit try to rape my girlfriend, would I have done the same as you? You better fucking believe it. Except I might have broken some bones first."

Wade was stunned at the admission; at all the admissions. "I… I don't know what to say."

"Thank Christ, she's run out of questions!" She let go of Nikki's arm and said, "Listen. I've got to go see what Dockley wants. Are you and me okay?"

"Yeah," Nikki answered. "I'm glad you told me, Liv. I mean, I'm not glad for the situation, but I'm… I'm just glad you told me."

"Me, too," Benson admitted. "And I know I don't have to tell you this, but I will anyway. You cannot breathe a word of this to anyone. Not Yvonne. Not Barbara. Not anyone."

Wade nodded. "I know. You can trust me, I promise." She gave a little laugh. "Listen to me, promising not to dob in a cop. There goes my reputation."

"I won't tell if you won't," Olivia smiled back. She walked to the door, then turned. "And Nikki, I didn't lie to you about having someone on the outside because I had some moral objection to being attracted to a cop killer. I did it because I wanted to avoid distractions." She gave the con an overt look from head to toe. "Not that I've had any luck there." With that, Olivia left, leaving Nikki rooted to the spot, her mouth agape.

--

As she walked up the metal stairs to G3, Benson could tell her emotional equilibrium was wildly out of sync, and she willed herself to get it in check. She hadn't expected to feel such a wave of relief for telling Nikki the truth. She never would have thought blowing her cover would end up feeling so good. And yet, she was also faced with the harrowing reality of the case. Within a couple of days, the deal would be set and they'd have to face the biggest risk of the entire operation. Even after all these years, after hundreds of cases, she could never shake that anxiety that ate away at her. It didn't help to know she'd be stuck here, thousands of miles away; not knowing what was going on, not knowing if they failed or succeeded until it was all over. And now she had Shell Dockley on top of everything else.

The door of the cell was open and when Benson took a quick glance inside, she found it empty. Turning to head back downstairs, she bumped right into the blonde.

"Oi!" Dockley barked. "I've been looking for you."

"So I've heard," Benson replied flatly.

Dockley looked around then pushed Benson into the cell. "Fenner thinks something's up."

"Then maybe you shouldn't be visiting my cell, where everyone can see you."

Shell snorted. "Sweetheart, you learn nothing stays a secret very long round here."

"So?"

"So?" she repeated. "So, what are you gonna do about it?"

Olivia crossed her arms and leaned back against the wall. "What would you like me to do? If nothing stays secret, then there's not much I can do, is there?"

"Well, you'd best get Fenner off my back. I'm not about to get seven shades of shit beat out of me for a seppo. Anyway, I just got this bloody cell back and I'm not about to lose my privileges just so's you can run some smack operation on the outside."

"Shell, I don't give a shit about your little privileges or anything else for that matter. You should be more concerned about keeping me happy."

"And you should be more concerned about your little girlie not finding out," Dockley shot back.

Benson pushed herself off the wall. Smiling, she asked, "You mean Nikki? She already knows, Shell."

"You're having me on."

"I told her five minutes before I came up here."

"You what?"

"I know it might be a foreign concept to you, Shell, but honesty really is the best policy. And getting the jump on some little weasel who thinks they're going to turn things around on you is the next best thing."

Shell looked dumbfounded. "You're winding me up! I don't believe you."

"Believe what you want, Shell, but definitely believe this - don't ever fucking threaten me again, understand?"

"Yeah, whatever," Dockley replied, then seeing the menacing look from Benson, repeated, "Yeah, I said, Jesus."

In hindsight, Benson would chastise herself for letting Dockley off the hook, and would recognize this conversation as the moment she took her foot off the tiger's tail, ever so slightly. But for now, with her mind on the case and all its possibilities and implications, she let it slip by.

--