Resolution
We – Kathryn Janeway and I, stood together in the captain's quarters for 42.3 seconds, holding hands. Until Kathryn swayed. Concluding that she was dizzy, we said, "You should sit," and lifted both hands to the woman's shoulders.
"No," she replied. "I-I was leaning… forward.. to hug you…but...well, it's not like you'll feel it," she said.
"We have appreciated your contact," we said. "You hold our hand, touch our arms. It is...comforting." The recognition of the emotions caused in us by this individual came more easily now. We now had Annika's experience to thank.
During the period of our existence severed from the collective aboard Voyager, when we experienced renewed individuality, we had not always understood our emotions or been able to correctly identify the cause of them: a wry observation from the Doctor had always struck us as illogical, while a pointed comment by the captain had irritated. The irritation, we now understood, to have stemmed from feeling exposed. To her in particular. When she would elevate our ideas in front of the group at conference meetings, we felt elevated. Now with perspective, we were better able to understand when she had noticed our struggle and touched us, it was not to suggest we were a disappointment, as we so often internally concluded. It was to give us her support.
"Thank you," we said. The simple phrase seemed inadequate and we looked into our memories, and her eyes, in search of a better one.
She smiled and the blue-gray of her eyes shifted to a blue that reminded us of the heart of a nebula, where a solar system's life begins, teeming with matter and energy, striving to become. "Seven…"
Caught in that gaze, we felt on the verge of becoming ourselves. Our arms did not bend, but we wanted them to. Our torso did not bend, so we could not bring our lips to Kathryn's, though we wanted to.
Kathryn's arms could not encircle our full girth as they had only a few days ago, but when our hip abductors felt a shift in pressure, we knew she had put her hands on our waist. "Kathryn," we said.
Wary of causing injury, but recognizing that we required contact to both give and receive support, we pressed our right cheek against Kathryn's.
A hitched sound brushed our auditory receptors and we pulled back. "What?" we asked. Thinking we had caused pain, we rapidly scanned the delicate features for injury. "We did not mean to hurt you."
"I wasn't upset," Kathryn said. "I...well, I was chuckling, I suppose."
We could feel frustration again and stepped back. "We must go to sickbay. Immediately."
"What's wrong?" Kathryn's expression became one of anxious concern.
"This form cannot feel the way we wish it to feel."
Kathryn nodded and cupped her hand against our right cheek, fingertips moving softly against implant and skin alike. We immediately recalled Kathryn's touch on Annika's cheek so recently. "Do you feel that?" she asked.
"It is a dull mockery of what we now know it can be," we said.
Kathryn frowned. "I'm sorry." She withdrew her hand. "All right." She tapped her comm badge. "Captain to the Doctor. Seven and I will be arriving shortly."
"Are her Borg implants failing?" he replied.
"In a manner of speaking, Doctor," we replied over the open link.
"Seven!" he said, sounding enthusiastic.
We envied the hologram's emotional capabilities in this moment and knew our resentment was growing. "Yes, Doctor."
"Janeway out." Kathryn lowered her hand from her badge and grasped our hand. "Let's go."
When Seven laid back on the biobed, the Doctor moving in toward her, Kathryn Janeway was relegated to frustrated observer. Together, they examined all of the new and old Borg parts, discussing what could be safely excised, and what would have to wait, or may never be removed.
"I should get Icheb," Kathryn thought. "He knows what he did."
"He did what Annika asked," Seven said.
"Except that executive council in your head," Kathryn replied. "That wasn't in the plan."
"We would have had a multitude of voices in any case," Seven said. "His solution was based on sound logic. You correctly pointed out he is not to blame. Annika made the decision from a position of emotion. We are responsible for what we have done."
Kathryn swallowed. "So…" She looked between the Doctor and Seven. "Will you be able to do what she wants?"
The Doctor replied, "I believe so, captain."
"Do you need any help? I can get Tom?"
"This procedure will be directed by Seven, Captain. They will have to be awake. The procedure will keep me fully occupied for nearly 14 hours. Please alert Mr. Paris that he will be on standby for first aid.
Kathryn reached for her comm badge, intending to tell Tom exactly that.
The Doctor said gently, "Go speak to him. You shouldn't be here."
"But-"
"Captain, I realize you are the captain, but I would not allow any loved one into surgery with a patient."
"Seven?"
"He must concentrate," Seven replied. "And so must we."
Seven's lips twitched and Kathryn knew she was trying to smile. It wasn't very reassuring, but Kathryn knew she needed to leave as she had been asked. "All right. But," she said, turning to the Doctor, "you report immediately when you're finished."
"Seven should be able to do that in person," he said, sounding chipper. Kathryn noticed Seven's frown at the EMH.
"Seven?"
"We are reminded how chipper he sounded when Annika first awoke with amnesia. It was forced optimism."
Kathryn looked from Seven to the Doctor. "Is this forced optimism, Doctor?" she asked seriously.
"My programming allows for such responses. Factually, though, we do have good odds."
"That is much better, Doctor," Seven said.
Kathryn found herself caught by Seven's gaze one last time. "We-I will see you soon, Kathryn."
The decision to speak of herself as an individual was not lost on Kathryn. "I look forward to it, Seven."
Despite her trepidation, Kathryn left sickbay and headed for the bridge. Harry, who was in command during Gamma shift, rose to his feet, ready to relinquish command. She shook her head, stepping instead into her ready room. After sending an alert to Tom that he was on sickbay standby, she picked up a PADD and tried to focus. She wasn't in shape for bridge duty, but perhaps processing some departmental reports would do as a distraction.
Kathryn was rubbing a kink out of her neck when the door chime to her ready room sounded. Expecting Chakotay, who should be arriving for the morning shift any moment now, she said, "Come in."
The doors opened and Kathryn dropped her PADD to the floor. Scrambling to her feet, she stumbled into the table. "Seven!" She righted herself quickly and crossed the floor, meeting the woman in the middle of the space.
The former drone appeared once again "former," Kathryn noticed. A few pieces of hardware remained protruding from her skull and her blonde hair had only been grown back over some areas, currently short and slightly spiky. But her neck was mostly free, with a device that looked like a cortical inhibitor resting over her carotid artery. Kathryn suspected it was an additional regulator, supporting Seven's recovery.
"You distracted yourself with work," Seven said.
Kathryn looked at the scattered PADDs. "I did," she admitted. "How are you feeling?"
"I am, once again, feeling," Seven replied. Her lips tipped up at the corners.
At the sight, the tightness eased in Kathryn's chest. She reached out for Seven's right arm, which was once again devoid of the mechanisms for nanoprobe deployment and the adaptive connector. The skin-tight suit to assist with skin regeneration was back. Kathryn slid her hand down the duraprene material until she reached Seven's hand.
Seven closed her eyes and her smile widened as she initiated the tangling of their fingers.
"Better?" Kathryn asked.
"Much better," Seven said.
Kathryn chuckled as tears prickled in her eyes. "I'm glad," she said, blinking as she tried not to fall apart just at the moment she felt most complete.
Seven's eyes opened and the caress of her gaze moved over Kathryn's face, down to their joined hands and back up again. "I have waited four days to kiss you again, Kathryn. I would like permission to do so now."
"Permission granted," Kathryn said, loosing another wry chuckle at the heady mix of joy and relief swamping her stomach.
Seven untangled their fingers, then with both hands, one mesh and one soft as a newborn babe's, she cupped Kathryn's cheeks and stroked her jaw.
It was now Kathryn who had to close her eyes, overwhelmed by the contact. She felt the air move in front of her face just before full lips pressed to hers. The kiss lingered, moving very slowly from corner to corner over her mouth before sliding up Kathryn's cheek to the edge of her jaw and her ear.
Seven whispered, "All of me loves you, Kathryn."
With a gasp, Kathryn choked out, "All of me loves you, too, Seven."
Seven's hands slid down Kathryn's back and Kathryn wrapped her arms around Seven's waist.
They wavered and Kathryn pulled back, grasping Seven's hand and guiding her to the couch. "Sit down. Tell me everything."
The command officers meeting later that day marked Seven's return to her duties. She was seated in a chair to Kathryn's left when B'Elanna Torres entered. "Scuttlebutt is that you're back...Annika right?"
"I wish to be addressed as Seven," she replied. "I have Annika's memory and experiences but I have my memories back as well."
"So you remember being jealous of me, huh?" B'Elanna said. Seven recognized the teasing in the engineer's gruff voice.
"B'Elanna," Kathryn said. "Sit down."
Seven recognized, too, the wry amusement in Kathryn's tone but also that her patience was not endless. "Lieutenant, I will gladly discuss this matter with you after our duty shift is concluded."
As Seven intended, B'Elanna chuckled. "Welcome back, Seven."
Kathryn lowered her head to her hands. "Oh god."
Seven smiled and reached under Kathryn's head, nudging her cheek and grasping her hand. "It will be a civil discussion."
"In human history, there have been civil wars, too," Kathryn pointed out. But then she laughed as her gaze met Seven's.
"Good thing, Seven and I aren't fully human then," B'Elanna replied, taking her seat a couple down from Kathryn's right. Chakotay, entering the room now, would take the first seat.
When the rest of the command staff had filed in, Tuvok last and taking his seat at the end of the table, Kathryn moved her hand to the PADD in front of her. "All right, people, time for the monthly departmental reviews."
