Disclaimer: Everything you recognise is J.K.Rowling's property. I do not own Harry Potter, nor Severus Snape, nor Albus Dumbledore, which are the principal characters in this fic.
Chapter one: waking up in the greasy git's body
Harry woke up at the odd sound of someone humming. But who's making it? It didn't matter. He would just stay on his bed all day. He had just dreamt of Sirius, not falling into the Veil but just laughing happily with Lupin… he didn't want the dream to go away if he got up.
Besides, the bed was very nice. Wait a minute. Nice? What the hell was he doing in a nice bed? It was nice, soft, with fresh pillows… definitely not his little excuse for a bed in Privet Drive. Am I dead? Yes, he was, surely. That had to be heaven: nice bed, soft blanket and pillows, somebody waking you up with a song instead of screaming at you to make their breakfast…
Okay, so if he was dead, he could see Sirius and his parents for real, so no point of just staying in bed.
Slowly, he opened his eyes, blinked, and stared. This isn't heaven at all. His own version of heaven didn't contain a Headmaster of Hogwards sitting in a comfortable armchair, seemingly waiting for him to wake up.
So he wasn't dead. It wasn't really a good new for him. It meant: "no Sirius today".
He definitely didn't like the smirk on the Headmaster's face. He looked around and got even more confused. He wasn't in the Hospital Wing, which had become the next plausible guess as to why he wasn't in Privet Drive without even remembering getting out of there. There was Albus Dumbledore so he figured he must be at Hogwarts, but where? This wasn't Gryffindor dormitory, nor the Headmaster's office…
Actually, it looked like the dungeons. Coldness (despite being late July), stone walls, no windows… but what on earth could I be in the dungeons for? In a very big and soft green bed no less? More and more confused, he looked again at his Headmaster, trying hard to hide his blush at the thought of their last disastrous encounter.
The old man seemed very amused by his confused look, he noticed. Then an odd thought occurred to him: how can I see his face from here? He didn't have his glasses on. The man should be a great blue blur. But he wasn't. He was as distinct as if he was right under his nose.
So he was dreaming, that's it. Wait a minute. When you're dreaming, can you ask yourself if you are? No idea. But he was soon going to find out, wasn't he? Anyway, asleep or not, he just had to ask Dumbledore.
Resigned, he began to sit up, nearly dropping of the bed in surprise when he sensed something brush his cheeks as he did. Since when do I have long straight hair? Pushing this fact next on his new made list of "things-that-didn't-quite-ring-true", he turned to face the Headmaster and asked lightly, as if he really couldn't care less:
"What happened? "
"Harry! You're awake! How are you feeling my boy?"
"Fine. A little confused maybe. What am I doing here? And where is 'here' anyway?"
"Oh, yes, yes, allow me explain. Do you remember back in your second year when you requested to stay at Hogwards for the summer? Well, you can now!"
"What do you mean? I thought you said I was safer within my aunt's house?"
"Yes! Harry Potter cannot be anywhere else, it would be too much danger."
"But I'm here!"
"Yes! But Harry Potter isn't!"
"Hum. Sir, the thing is, I am Harry Potter."
"No, you aren't. "
"I'm not?"
"You're not."
"…"
"There's a bathroom right there. Have a look at yourself!"
Even more confused by the wide smile on his headmaster's face, and nearly blinded by the bright twinkle in his eyes, he got up… and nearly fell to the ground. Since when was he so tall? Avoiding to look at Dumbledore, he walked uneasily to the bathroom, and nearly collapsed when he saw 'his' face in the mirror.
It wasn't his face at all. It was his most despised professor's, looking even worse than usually (untidy hair and unshaved face to blame). And another difference: the usual cold stare was replaced by a confused look, which didn't suited the man's face.
The cold stare quickly took place when he thought of who was likely to blame for his disguise. Dumbledore. Somehow the interfering old fool had everything to do with this. His mere presence proved it.
He angrily returned to the bedroom, unconsciously mimicking his teacher's mannerism, and stopped right in front of the Headmaster, coldly muttering one word:
"Explain."
"…"
"NOW!"
"I see that I was right. You will be perfect."
"Excuse me?"
"Sit down. I'm going to explain everything. Do you want some tea? (he made two cups appear without waiting for Harry's answer) See, I knew you would be much too depressed if I let you spend all the holidays with your relatives. But you couldn't go anywhere as Harry Potter, so I decided to disguise you! And to avoid for anyone to guess that you're not still staying at Privet Drive, I let your body there. In fact, you just switched lives with one Severus Snape. Isn't that marvellous?"
"… … … you WHAT? What do you mean, I switched lives with Snape? You can't actually mean that I'll play him for the rest of the summer, while he plays me at my uncle's, right? You can't actually mean he' waking up there right now?"
"Actually, Severus is quite a light sleeper, so I really think he's been up for some time now…"
"That's not the point."
"Indeed. If you're worried about your relatives, I assure you there's no need to be. Professor Snape isn't really fond of Muggles, but he's quite capable of behaving."
Actually, Harry was more worried about Snape finding out what his home life really was like and using it to make fun of him in class, but he wasn't about to say so. Dumbledore continued:
"So, do you have any questions?"
"About what?"
"About how to act like Severus Snape of course. This potion is irreversible for a while. Sometimes it takes a month, or a year… "
"Excuse Me? "
"Yes, marvellous isn't it?"
"Being Snape for an entire year?"
"Yes. "
"But why Snape? Why did it have to be him?"
"You're much safer this way. Do you realise? Even in the presence of Voldemort, he'll think of you as his follower, and you'll be safe!"
"Oh no, you can't mean…"
"Yes. You'll obviously have to replace Severus everywhere, as a spy on Voldemort's ranks as well as in Potions' classroom. "
"You want me to spy on Voldemort and teach potion?"
"Of course, you're Severus Snape now, aren't you? "
" …"
"Besides, I did it as much for you as for him. I want you two to learn to get along. Spending a month at your relative's house, he will realise that you're not spoiled at all, and you will realise how difficult his role is. It will all work out for the best. Plus, you said last year that you wanted to be informed. And Severus is! Sometimes even sooner than myself. "
"But what about my friends, and my studies…"
"I will arrange private lessons with a most trustful man. Do not concern yourself about it. Look at the fun of all this! Well, if you excuse me I have a few things to do now. Good bye!"
He left the room still smiling, and Harry tried to see how the situation could be fun. Well, it could be fun to imagine his hated professor making his relatives' meals, and getting yelled at by his uncle. And it certainly would be fun to have the potion master as a student… a student whom everyone would expect him to despise and humiliate in every possible ways…
Then an idea occurred to him. Smirking, he went to the bathroom. Since he first saw his potion professor, he had always wondered what he would look like with clean hair…
