New Orleans: Chapter 3

By: The Confused One

A/N: Well, this is definitely going to be the last chapter. LOL So, please enjoy and review. Thanks.

Bobby lied in bed. He couldn't sleep, again. It had been a week since he had gotten, what for him would pass as, a full night's sleep. It had been a week since New Orleans. He was haunted by the words he couldn't forget and the taste of her skin and how good she felt under him.

Bobby groaned in frustration and turned onto his back. Staring at the ceiling, he decided this was getting him nowhere, but he couldn't let it go. He couldn't make it stop. He wanted her. He needed her, but he had heard her words. He understood what they meant, and he had spent the last week desperately trying to abide by her wishes. Every time he saw her, he had to stop himself from kissing her, from touching her.

Turning onto his side again, Bobby knew he was going to have to do something. He couldn't go on this way. They couldn't go on this way. It was killing him, slow torture. He saw her everyday, knowing how they both felt, and he couldn't have her. It was making him crazy and had long since driven him to distraction to the exclusion of almost anything else but casework. He knew he was supposed to back off, but he couldn't help but plot ways to continue to get her attention. He daydreamed of how they could be and how he could get her to give them that. He knew he was almost beginning to be obsessive, in the scary way, when it came to her. She was there. She was in just about every thought he had. He couldn't take much more of it.

He absently wondered if she felt the same way. He wondered if she was in the same agony. He decided the answer most likely, yes.

Out of frustration, he hit his pillow and tried to get comfortable in another new position. With a sigh, he looked at the clock. It was already past four in the morning, and Bobby knew he wasn't going to be getting anymore sleep that night. Getting up, he decided that it had to stop, and he had to be the one to make it stop. Waiting for her was never going to get him anywhere. Getting dressed, he took a deep breath, hoping he could make this work.

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Alex stared at the ceiling, absently letting her memories of a week ago flutter through her head. She could remember every touch, every kiss. It was seared into her memory. She closed her eyes and took a ragged breath. Frustrated, she turned onto her side.

Her memory absently began to focus on the words she had said the next day. She silently cursed herself. She could see the pain in his eyes again as she pushed him away. She hated herself for that. With every passing day she wondered if she had made the right decision just a little more. It wasn't as easy to put behind her or forget as she had hoped it would be. She sighed and turned again.

She closed her eyes and desperately tried to sleep. She hadn't told anyone, but she hadn't slept well since. All she could think about was Bobby, New Orleans, and the stupid things she had said since. She was getting nowhere with it all, because she knew he'd always respect her wishes, and he'd never try anything, ever again. If something was going to happen, it would have to come from her. And she knew, that if she did try something, she'd confuse the hell out of him before she could explain what an idiot she had been, and well, that idea didn't appeal to her much either. Alexandra Eames was a proud woman, and she hated admitting she was wrong.

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Taking a deep shaky breath, Bobby knocked on the door. Looking at his watch, he realized it was just after five. He wondered how it had taken him an hour to get ready and get to her apartment. He then groaned and hoped she was awake. He wondered if he was making a huge mistake. He should have waited. He was about to leave, when he heard movement on the other side of the door.

Grabbing her robe, Alex had hesitantly walked up to her door. Looking through her peephole, she relaxed a little. Confused she opened her door and greeted him, "Bobby?"

Bobby gave her a nervous smile. He apologized, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have bothered you this early."

Stepping aside so he could come in, Alex assured him, "No. It's OK. I wasn't asleep or anything. What's wrong?"

Bobby nodded slightly. He refused to even think about why she couldn't sleep. He couldn't do it to himself. He was suddenly unsure of what he expected to get out of coming here. Walking in past her, he turned to face her. All words were lost to him. He watched her close and lock the door before turning to face him with a look of confusion on her face. Taking a deep breath, he bit the bullet, "This isn't working."

Alex's heart leapt into her throat. She couldn't think or even breathe for a moment. All she knew was that she had been wrong. He was pushing, despite what she had said. She wanted to kiss him, to tell him the truth. It wasn't working for her either, but all she could manage was to weakly say his name, "Bobby."

Bobby watched her for a moment. With a sigh, he realized he had nothing to lose. He confessed, "I know what you said. I understand. But either way, I don't know how many more days I can look up from my desk and see you and know I can't be with you, its torture and driving me crazy."

Alex closed her eyes. Taking her own deep breath, she admitted, "Ignoring it isn't working for me either."

Bobby instantly met her eyes for the first time since he had arrived. He dared to hope. His voice was soft and low as he acknowledged, "I can't just leave it alone."

Alex's words were shaky as she divulged, "I thought I could. I thought I had. I've spent the last week wishing I hadn't pushed you away."

It had been more than he had expected. There was hope, and he was relieved. He finally replied, "Well, that puts us in quite the predicament. I can't stop loving you, and frankly, I don't want to try anymore."

Alex nodded and assured him, "I love you too. I'm as tired of fighting it as you are. I don't want to pretend anymore. I just. I can't pretend anymore. I don't know what to do now."

Bobby stepped closer to her, testing the waters. He knew how he wanted their lives, and he wanted to offer her the option. He pushed a little, "We could make this work."

Alex stared at the floor. He stepped even closer. Looking up, she met his eyes and replied, "We can?"

Bobby was inches from her now. He touched her cheek with the back of her hand, he asked, "What does Deakins have to know?"

Alex closed her eyes at his touch. She gasped slightly as he kissed her neck. Opening her eyes, she met his eyes. With a nod, she agreed, "What he doesn't know won't hurt him."

Bobby nodded slowly and kissed her lips. He commented, "We can have the best of both worlds, and someone finds out, we can live with it. I can play nice with others Alex. I promise. I just can't go home without you anymore."

Alex let him kiss her again. She was beginning to feel rather weak kneed. Moaning softly, she chastised, "You're not playing nice now."

Bobby kissed her again. Smiling, he breathlessly whispered the challenge in her ear, "Really? Tell me to stop then."

Alex groaned. Mustering all the resistance she could gather Alex stepping back, and she insisted, "We have to go to work. If we're going to hide this from people, we can't start off by being late."

Bobby sighed. With a nod, he kissed one last time and left, leaving Alex stunned but smiling. Her head was swimming. She took a couple of shaky breaths and momentarily wondered what they had just gotten themselves into. Watching the door, she decided it didn't matter. Whatever happened, they'd be fine. She walked back to her bedroom to get ready for another day, knowing this one would end much better than almost any other she had had in a long time.