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Chapter 13 -- Memories, suppressed and better forgotten…

"Rowan, we will start in the morning."

"No, we will start NOW. We're not taking the extra time. Ron is right. We need to find him as soon as possible. I don't know how long this will take, but there is no time to waste. Start whatever process you need to now."

Dumbledore nodded, stood and walked to his cabinet. He removed one pensive, setting it aside, before reaching to a second smaller pensive behind it. He replaced his own pensive before returning to his desk.

"Let me give you the background then: Your family is old. "One of the Lost Children" is how we referred to your family. Lost is not an accurate term, the witches and wizards of Salem always knew where your family was. In the 1400s Amelia Cowan became estranged from her family and left England. Before leaving, her brother bound her powers. If she would not be living here, she would not take her powers with her.

"Each generation from that point was bound. A witch from the Salem institute came in at the birth of each child and bound his or her powers immediately after birth. Your powers were bound as were your mother's before you. However, at about the age of fourteen, something happened that had never happened before: Your powers broke through. The headmaster of the Salem Institute contacted me and arrangements were made to bring you to England, rather than them trying to help you there. Hogwart's wards are stronger than any other school.

"So it was that you were sent here in July of 1983, barely fourteen years old. Minerva and I worked with you that summer, getting you ready for the coming year. You would be placed in the fourth year. One of the younger students, but adequately prepared for whatever would come.

"The only concern was that Mr. Ollivander could not find a wand that would work with you. You tried several thousand over a multi-day period. Finally, he gave up and told me that he could not help you. Before you left, you laughed at his frustration. I remember you lifted your right hand and said "Accio Rowan's Wand."

"Out of the back of the store, a box flew into your hands. I had never seen anyone use casual, controlled wandless magic. You opened the box and inside was the single smallest wand I had ever seen. Mr. Ollivander's eyes sparkled as he saw the wand. He said something to the effect of 'Ahh, Miss Cowan, what a fantastic idea! This wand's core is a single slayer's hair. It is very old; one of the oldest in the store.' He was positively glowing when we left the store. You crafted something of a wrist band and tucked your wand into it. Rather than allow others to think you were using wandless magic, he also fitted you with a wand shaped piece of wood, which held no core that you would use for show.

"You were sorted into Gryffindor, falling into an easy friendship with Lily Evans and her friends. You still went home every summer. But returned at the end of every August to shop in Diagon Alley and ride the train to school. As your sixth year completed, the man you loved finally noticed you. He did not have to leave his friends to be with you, and it was a good relationship.

"You all graduated in 1987. Just prior to that, he told me he wanted to ask you to stay with him, here in England. Your mother, as I remember was not pleased with that decision, and closed your access to the Cowan vault. You did not seem to mind, however. That summer found you and he standing up for Lily and James, and a week after, they stood up for you. You had a good marriage and a good friendship when he was accepted into the Auror program. His training kept you separated, only visiting on weekends, resulting in your first pregnancy. Alice Longbottom and Lilly found out at the same time.

"In June of 1989, your son was born. It was five weeks before Neville Longbottom, and six weeks before Harry. You named Lily and James as his Godparents. They in turn, named you and your husband, Harry's. In January, 1990, you found out you were again pregnant. Your husband would finish his training at the end of that May and would be home for the birth. She was born September 1990.

"Harry and Mason played with Neville regularly. All the three boys were toddling when Madison was born. They used to laugh and call her Bobby. Not a one of them could say baby. But, alas, my dear, it was Halloween of 1990, Lily and James were betrayed and killed by Voldemort.

"Your husband literally lost all sense of reason when it happened. He left you and the children and flew on his motorbike to the Potters' home, intent on picking up Harry. Hagrid already had Harry and was set to bring him to me so I could leave him with his Aunt and Uncle.

"He was distraught and you could not find him. Frank and Alice Longbottom watched your babies while you searched for him. Finally, you did find him. You told me that you were walking towards him when he confronted Peter Pettigrew. You watched your husband blow one of his closest friends to bits and kill thirteen innocent people. You were devastated.

"You told me that he laughed out loud before his eyes met yours. But he did not seem to recognize you even after the connection was made. The Magical Law Enforcement came immediately and took him to Azkaban. You went to the Longbottom's home, as you did not know what to do; you talked extensively with them. His mother was tracking you as well, intent on taking your children now that you did not have the protection offered by your husband. Your mother-in-law was not the only one seeking you. Remus had been trying to find out what had happened to you, for weeks, before finally finding you at their home.

"He took you and the children to see your husband. It was a moment of complete sanity that Remus described. Your husband apologized to you, over and over, begging for your forgiveness. He told you what happened but, because you were there, you were not sure what to believe. However, you accepted his word without telling him that you had witnessed it.

"Because you had brought children with you, the Dementors were separated from your husband's cell. The wizard guards, breaking several rules, allowed him to hold his son and daughter one last time before escorting the four of you out of Azkaban. Remus took you back to the Longbottom's and came here in an attempt to put the pieces together.

"His mother continued to seek your whereabouts. Someone tipped her that you and your children at Alice's house. When she found you, she threatened you. You had her grandchildren, and she attempted to physically remove them from you. You shimmered away from her, taking the children with you. A few days later, she tracked you again at the Leaky Cauldron. Once again, you escaped her and her followers, which are now known as Death Eaters. But you realized, as did I, that she would find and kill you, and rear the children in the home that he hated so much.

"It was at this time, you shimmered to our gates. You stayed with Severus, for a few days, hidden in the dungeons of Hogwart's. Remus was the only one he told of your whereabouts. Just after Christmas, you came to me as well. You had made your decision to leave the magical community forever. You asked that I take your memories, bind your and your children's powers and let you leave England forever. And I did.

"On December 31st, 1999, I returned you to your parents' home. I told them all that had happened. I charmed you to make new memories and that anytime someone you knew saw you that they would have identical memories added. You were never missed.

"We had discussed making memories of a marriage and divorce. It seemed cruel to have someone in your life that way, however, as the probability was that you would remember your love for him, and seek him once again. So, rather than give you specific details, we chose to tell you that he died. Hoping that you would be able to carry on and move forward with the new life, without worry about him coming back into your life.

"When you were recommended for this post, I was not sure if you would be happy here, but your interview was so… right. I found myself pleased to offer you the position of teacher here.

"You remembered Remus, because the two of you were close when you were younger. I dare say you will remember others given enough time as your grandparents entertained Wizard families regularly at their home." He concluded, sat back in his chair and waited for the expected barrage of questions which did not come. Remus, Severus and Rowan sat, speechless at his words. She wanted to take time to absorb all of this, but decided that it would wait for another day.

"Albus, it's late, but if you are up for it, I think we need to get to work."

Once back to the Estate, Ron flooed to the Longbottom's. He would be in charge of rounding up the DA to be ready when they figured out where Harry was. Once Neville joined them, however, they decided to just put the others on alert, rather than have them to the house.

For the teenagers, the next week was spent in the room of research. Only Dobby was allowed in to bring them food and drink. Mr. Weasley returned to work and Mrs. Weasley, with Ginny's help moved anything salvagable at the Burrow into their quarters. The older Weasley's returned to their jobs as well, but came back in the evening.

For Rowan, that same time was spent remembering her life. She now was sure that Dumbledore was not insane. He had told her the truth. She had fallen in love with Sirius Black in her fourth year, but he did not reciprocate until they were at the end of their sixth year. Before that, they were friends, but it was not until Lily and James became a couple that Sirius truly noticed her. He was her first… everything. She and Remus were close friends and he spent a lot of time with them.

She remembered her wedding and the births of the children. These memories were much more pleasant than what she had otherwise. The only real problem was the separation between the truth and what Albus had charmed her to remember. Severus stood and pointed his wand at her "FINITE INCANTARTIUM MEMORIUS". The conjured memories fell away to be replaced with the orderly influx of her magical memories.

Harry had now been missing just over fifteen days. His tormentor did not come often. When she did, she gave him a large pitcher of water and sandwiches. He could not eat anything, and as such, knew that the scurrying of little footsteps indicated that the rats would eat it for him.

He was weak and getting weaker, unable to stand on his own. When anyone entered the darkness, he screamed at the pain the light caused him. He was alone in the dark and no one knew where.

Finally, the exhausting days after the beginning of her memory restoration was complete, she was ready to have her powers unbound. Albus warned her that for the first eight to twelve hours, she would be incredibly strong in the use of her magic. She prayed he was right. They left for her to sleep and prepare herself for the next morning.

Neville, Ron, Ginny, and Hermione were summoned to the headmaster's office early that day. Remus and Severus were present as well. She excused herself for a moment, returned to her quarters, rummaged around in her trunk and pulled out a pack with distinctly non-magical items: A flashlight, in which she put new batteries, a handgun, and four- ten round clips, matches, and a small first aid kit. If her powers failed before she found him, she had to be ready.

When she returned with her small back pack, Professor Dumbledore handed her the small wrist band that contained her wand. She secured it around her wrist. It was only then that Dumbledore asked everyone to wait in the outer office. The teens stood and talked to Remus while Snape paced back and forth. Hearing a loud BOOM, Ron grabbed Hermione covering her with his own body as the glass from the door and windows shattered, covering them with glass. Neville had grabbed Ginny, much the same way Ron had. As a result, the boys had many small cuts on their arms and backs, but the girls had been protected. Remus smiled "She's back!"

When they opened what was left of the door, Rowan had an incredible smile on her face. She ran to Remus, grabbed his hand and snapped her fingers. Ron, Neville, Ginny and Hermione watched as they shimmered out of view. They sat and waited for their return while Dumbledore tried to explain to Hermione about the difference between apparating and shimmering.

Remus and Rowan arrived on the front steps of Gringott's seconds later. Still holding his hand, she pulled him into the bank. She asked to speak to Gargamel. When the Chief Goblin arrived, she bowed lowly to him, until she heard him speak. "Rowan Cowan Black, it is good you have return to see us once again."

She knelt on her knees and in a very un-goblinsh fashion; he opened his arms and took her in a warm embrace. She whispered in his ear "I've missed you old friend, forgive me for being away for so long. We will take time to talk later, but now I need a favor now though. I need to get into the Cowan vault." They separated and he, personally, took her to the lowest depths of the caverns below.

Stepping out, Remus and Rowan said farewell to Gargamel. He looked at her oddly as she grabbed his hand and pulled him through a door. The vault was huge. She walked over to a desk and pulled out a roll of parchment. It was tied with Red and Green ribbons, old with age. She nodded to him, handing him the parchment, grabbed his hand and snapped her fingers, leaving the vault behind.

They returned to Dumbledore's office within ten minutes of their departure. "I have it. I know how to find Harry!" Her excitement reverberated through the room as the continuation of the magic clarified her early memories of her and Sirius. She chose, for now, to ignore the latter memories of her departure.

She unrolled the parchment on the now cleared desk of the Headmaster. Everyone in the room gathered around the desk. "Uhm, Rowan… I mean Rowan? It's blank." Ron said with a hint of disappointment.

"Watch" she pointed her index finger at the parchment, tapping it once, "I am Rowan Lee Cowan daughter of Mary Ann Cowan, granddaughter of Johnnie Cowan. I seek knowledge." The parchment glowed for a moment and tiny threads of ink showed brightly. The map revealed England, Scotland, Ireland, and France, with the surrounding oceans and islands.

"I seek to find my Godson, Harry James Potter, age seventeen, son of James Potter and Lilly Evans Potter." A red light glowed and showed a pinprick in the southern-most region of England. "I seek to find his exact location." The map shifted perspective. As a Muggle she knew it was zooming, but did not want to confuse everyone, who was watching so close. As it got closer to the pinprick, the map's outer edges became the town of Land's End. It was near the sea. The map continued to zoom to the location of Harry. Slowly, meticulously, Land's End gave way to the edge of the sea, a high cliff and an old castle.

The castle gave way, upper floor by floor into the depths of the cliff itself. When the map showed ground level, it continued, numbers flashing as it continued to dig deep into the earth itself. Twelve floors underground was a small black room with the name Harry James Potter. "I am in search of the shortest distance between Hogwart's School and the castle which currently holds Harry James Potter." The map reoriented itself. Hogwarts was shown to be somewhere north of Glasgow, Scotland, although the exact location was not given. The castle showed clearly for a moment, then began the stripping off of floors. When the dungeons were gone too, it continued, although a large chunk of earth was shown to move at once, rather than a single floor.

Rowan heard Ginny gasp. "Oh no… no… no…"

"What?" Hermione asked.

"That's the Chamber of Secrets." Ron hesitated for a moment. "I know where the entrance is. But no one speaks parselmouth - do they?"

Ginny nodded, tears flowing down her cheeks. "I have been able to since… he… possessed me."

"Okay, good starting place. Let's go." She was still smiling a stupid smile which spread out across her face. She could not contain it, she didn't seem to notice as the others hesitated, but followed her after a moment. The entire assemblage of people left the headmaster's office and entered Moaning Myrtle's bathroom moments later. Ginny, listening intently to Ron's advice, turned to the sink. She hissed convincingly. The room shifted and the entrance to the Chamber was revealed.

Ron was the first one down the chute, followed by each one. The cave-in which his broken wand had caused five years earlier was cleared easily by Dumbledore. They made their way quickly to the actual chamber, Ginny, once again using the 'gift' Voldemort gave her, and opened the large snake door for them. Rowan consulted her map again. "It shows the door to be… over there, near that snaky thing."

Snape rolled his eyes and hissed. "It's a basilisk, you idiot, dead, but a basilisk just the same."

She rounded on him. "I am in way too good of a mood right now to put up with your shit, either lighten up or get out. No one needs your sarcasm or insults right now." The kids were stunned by her casual use of foul language, but smiled slyly to one another at the look on Snape's face, when he decided not to go back to the surface alone. There was, in deed, a door. It was amazing to realize that this door would carry them hundreds of kilometers to the southernmost tip of England. Wands at the ready, Ginny hissed the door open.