Chapter 10

Charlotte's day had been filled with dress fittings, shopping, and all manner of excitement surrounding the Regent's Ball. She was relieved to get back to Berkeley Square for a rest before dinner with several members of Lady Susan's closest circle of friends. As she lay on her bed looking out the window, Charlotte thought of Sidney and wondered how he had spent his day. Then, she admonished herself for thinking of a man who was promised to another. Certainly the last two days had been merely a dream. Charlotte rolled over and reached for the unsigned note on her night table. No, it hadn't been a dream. She couldn't figure out how a future could be possible with Sidney. He was as good as married to another woman. Sure, he had declared himself to Charlotte, but he was still very much forbidden. She couldn't help but feel that she was setting herself up for more heartbreak holding onto a seemingly impossible hope.

The dinner was well enough; Charlotte had become friendly with many of Susan's closest friends. She could not shake a feeling of dread of what she perceived to be the inevitable: another painful, and very final, parting with her soul's mate.

"A penny for your thoughts, Miss Heywood." Charlotte was jolted back to present company by Mr. Wellesley.

Charlotte smiled sheepishly and looked into his handsome face, "I'm afraid it would be a bit unconventional to share those with you, Mr. Wellesley."

Wellesley smiled with a twinkle in his eye, "Oh, I seriously doubt that, my dear. Try me."

Charlotte looked at him uncertainly, "I…"

"Ah, you don't trust me with these thoughts, am I right?"

Charlotte wrinkled her nose, "It's not that exactly….I'm not sure I even trust myself."

Alex furrowed his brow at this, "Now that is a problem. How can I help, Charlotte?"

Charlotte debated awhile. She had spent a good amount of her time in London in Alex Wellesley's company. He had been her companion to every social event since her arrival. He was kind hearted, if she was honest with herself, there was indeed something mysterious about Alex that she hadn't been able to yet unravel. But, they seemed to have an undeniable friendship connection, as though they'd been friends since infancy and already knew each other's deepest secrets, but neither dared to breathe a word to another soul.

"You look as though you are trying to look into my very soul, Charlotte."

She laughed lightly. "That's because I am, Alex. You are still very much a mystery to me. You cannot expect me to share my deepest, darkest secrets if you don't reciprocate."

Wellesley looked around the room at the present company, then looked at Charlotte pointedly, "Would you care for a turn about the garden, Miss Heywood? I'm suddenly in desperate need of fresh air."

"I would be delighted, Mr. Wellesley." Charlotte looked toward Susan, who nodded at her.

Charlotte put her hand on Wellesley's arm as they slowly but purposefully made their way to the door. Once outside, Alex led her out to the fountain in the middle of the garden and settled her on a nearby bench. He began to pace. He stopped, turned to her, opened his mouth to speak, and then set to pacing again, unable to speak. Finally, he turned his back to her, closed his eyes, and began to speak.

"I am the son of an Earl. I was…am…set to inherit a great fortune of both land and money from him…on the condition of marriage to an eligible young woman."

Charlotte sat silently as she listened. He still hadn't turned to face her. And he had gone silent for awhile. Just as she thought perhaps she should say something to remind him that her attention was his, he began again.

"When I was a young boy, the match was set for me. I was to marry her when I became of age. She and I were the same age. We practically spent our childhood together, as our fathers were very close. We fell very much in love as we got older, never wishing to be parted from each other. The time came for our engagement to be announced. We were hoping to wed as soon as possible. She had an older brother, John, who had been in the West Indies, and was set to return shortly before the bans were read for our wedding. He arrived one day and became fevered the next. He was in isolation, but she couldn't help but care for him…"

Charlotte looked at Alex's back, and saw him begin to shake. She rose and went to his side and looked up at his face. Moonlight glittered on the tears that trailed down his cheeks. He took a deep breath and continued, "She became deathly ill shortly after…smallpox…it took her quickly…but I was never afforded a proper parting from the love of my life."

Wellesley took a handkerchief from his pocket and quickly swiped at his tears and turned to Charlotte with a weak smile. Charlotte looked at him sympathetically, "I'm so sorry, Alex."

"Thank you, Charlotte. It's what happened after her death that has doomed me to a lifetime of shame…perhaps you should sit down once more."

Charlotte looked at him skeptically, but retreated to settle back on the bench.

"After Jane died, I…I took leave of my senses. I had never been without her in my life. I had lost my best friend, the love of my life, my future. I disappeared into the woods on my father's estate with a pistol, a rope, and Jane's picture. I had planned to…" He looked at Charlotte out of the corner of his eye, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be telling a lady such things."

Charlotte squeezed Wellesley's hand encouragingly, "It's alright. I'm a farm girl, remember? I've seen a lot and experienced much concerning life and death, Alex. There's not much you could say that would shock me in those regards."

Alex gave her a ghost of a smile. He sat quietly for a moment. "My father's groom found me, hanging and cut me down quickly…if he hadn't shown up when he had…well…anyway, my father tried to keep it quiet, sweep it under the rug and forget it. But I continued to struggle; to spiral out of control…there was alcohol, opium, anything destructive I could get my hands on. I would often get up and wander in the middle of the night, delirious, shouting for Jane. It all came crashing down on me when my father hosted a ball. I showed up, drugged and drunk out of my mind, wearing only my cravat and riding boots. I was sent to an asylum the next morning. I spent a year there. I was quietly sent home once I was sober and in my right mind once again. Now, I am here in London, trying to repair the damage I did to my father's name, and my own, for that matter." Alex gave her a beguiling smile, bumping his shoulder companionably into Charlotte's.

Charlotte smiled, "Thank you for telling me, Alex. I'm honored by your confidence in me."

"You remind me a bit of Jane. She was very empathetic toward others, very kind hearted. He's very lucky, Charlotte. I think he knows it; he's just in a bit of a bind at present. Worry not, my dear. That's where I come in." He winked.

Charlotte's eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped open. "You know?!"

"Miss Heywood, at whose home are we guests at present? Of course I know! She's helping me with my situation as well. Susan truly is magnificent, is she not?" Wellesley stood and offered her his arm, "Now, we had better make our way back inside before tongues begin to wag."

Charlotte laughed, "You know, Wellesley, if things were different, I would be head over heels for you."

Alex laughed and shot her a dazzling smile, "The feeling is mutual dearest Charlotte, but it has been fun putting a show on with you, my friend." He stopped and turned toward her, "What will happen in the next few days may shock you, Charlotte. Please know that I am playing a part in a grand theatrical scheme."

Charlotte looked at him and furrowed her brow confusedly, "Noted. Thank you for the warning."

The two strolled back into the house, joining in with the spontaneous dancing that had commenced within.

/

Thank you all for your kind comments, enthusiasm, and encouragement regarding my story! I do plan to finish-I promise we'll get there. I've been dealing with some health concerns this summer with writer's block on top of that, so I haven't been able to devote as much time to my hobby as I would like. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I plan to finish the story sooner rather than later. Again, thank you all so much for sticking with me and for all the encouragement. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Happy reading!