Of course everyone has a little secret they want to keep to themselves. But, some secrets are just a little bigger than others. Mine of course was a big secret. I had no desire to let I get out either. I didn't want all my friends and fellow classmates to know what I really was, what the truth about me was. I wanted to keep it all to myself.

But, like any good secret in Hogwarts, it didn't stay a secret for too long. I'm not sure what exactly it was that made my closest friends piece it together, but slowly but surely they did. As I said before, James and Sirius were smart. Really smart. So, I guess now that I look back it wasn't a matter of how they found out, more rather what took them so long. After all, isn't a bit odd that days before and after full moons your best friend looked horrible? That and the my unexplainable love for anything chocolate. I remember fondly of Sirius comparing the week before a full moon as my version of pms. I mean, the horrible headaches, the slight irritability, the cravings for chocolate, it all made sense.

Anyways, back to second year, before they knew everything. By the time that James and Sirius figured it out, it was already towards the end of the year. March in fact. March of 1973 not only changed my life, but that of James, Sirius and Peter too. Them finding out about me being a werewolf was a big deal. And when they did figure it out, I was so scared, so nervous that I wouldn't have any friends anymore, that they would freak out and tell everyone leaving me ostracized and an outcast for the rest of my schooling career. I didn't want that! I wanted to keep the friends I had! I loved feeling normal, I really did. Feeling normal was simply something I had wanted my entire life and I had finally gotten it, only to be afraid of loosing that feeling once more.

But how they found out…now as I said, those two were smart. They slowly started making sense of it, but they couldn't exactly figure our what exactly was ailing me. They would frequently ask me what was wrong more and more as March approached. Soon, they began noticing that once a month I wasn't in the dorms, I was somewhere else.

James and Sirius were bound and determined to figure out what was going on with me. They weren't fans of being left in the dark by anyone, especially one of their friends. Even as young second years the pair was too curious and too rambunctious for their own good. And me disappearing one night a month was a good enough cause to suspect me of being up to something. And knowing them, they were simply curious as to what I was up to, and if they could join in. But, they simply couldn't. It wasn't safe for them. When I transformed I wasn't myself. I couldn't tell who my best friends were, I was simply a dangerous monster unable to control my own actions. I was simply ashamed of that fact. I felt like I was some monster, some horrible person that didn't deserve the friends I had, only because I was worried one day they would be in the wrong place at the wrong time and something very bad would happen.

But, fortunately I was lucky enough to have the best friends in the world. When they did find out, they didn't shun me or make false accusations on my nature. Instead, they were inspired by me, moved by my strength and courage in dealing with my situation. As I said, it wasn't my choice to become a werewolf. The affliction is a cursed, and any person affected by it has my deepest condolences, for I know what its like.

In order to truly figure out what I was doing, Sirius and James came up with a half thought out plan. On one of those nights I went out, they were going to follow me. Of course, James and Sirius were experts when it came to following a person. They used something James had, but at the time I didn't know about. Inherited from his father, who inherited it from his father and so forth, James was blessed with the availability of having a cloak of invisibility. A very rare item, and some how, one had fallen into the Potter family's hands. So with that available to him, they took the cloak and hid under it and followed me out one night.

I was in a horrible state of pain, as always right before a full moon, but I tried my hardest not to let anyone know. I just put on my regular black cloak and headed out for the Whomping Willow. I had no idea I was being followed. In fact, out of all my insecurities of people finding out about me being a werewolf, I had never even thought about the possibility of being followed. Even knowing Sirius and James's curious nature I had never thought that they would catch on and follow me out one night. But they did.

I simply kept walking, completely unaware of their presence. After pressing the knot on the willow, I headed down into the secret entrance hidden under one of the roots that happened to be sticking out. I crawled in and headed down the tunnel towards the Shrieking Shack. Merlin how I hated nights of the full moon. I just hated them more than anything.

After a long walk, of course still being followed by Sirius and James unknowingly, I finally made it into the Shack. Towards the end of my second year the once nice interior was now mostly in shards thanks to my destructive behavior that took place inside once a month. It was nothing I do could help with, but I still felt bad about ruining the place. But, then again, if it kept the rest of the students safe and kept his secret safe, it was worth it.

I sighed heavily as I looked around, and went and sat by the window looking out, just waiting for the moment. James and Sirius on the other hand had no clue why I was in the Shack by myself, and they wanted to know. The both his somewhere, exactly where I'm not to sure about. But soon, my secret was blown wide open…

Now, the problem of transforming into a werewolf is that you lose all knowledge of your former self. You have no recognition of your friends, family, you can't recall memories, all of that is gone. And, the loss of memories goes vice-versa. After I change back into myself, I have completely no idea what so I ever I did that night. I'll remember changing, then it will be as if I woke up and nothing had happened. The only way I do know it even happened is the immense amount of pain and scratches and property damage that I felt and saw.

But after the long night, I was informed of everything that had happened by the shocked, and downright scared, pairing of Sirius and James. They had hidden themselves in a closet under James's invisibility cloak. And you would think that after seeing me transform and how dangerous I was that they would just run back to school and not talk to me anymore. No, instead they proved how great of friends they were.

From that moment on both Sirius and James vowed to find a way to help me somehow. They vowed to become animagi, each of them. Of course, at the time I thought they were crazy. Of course, also at the time I was a dazed second year afraid of losing his friends after they discovered what I really was. It's hard telling your best friends your deepest secrets, mostly because there is a reason you kept it from a secret from them. And when they find out, who knows how they're going to react. You always hope they take it well, but there is always that chance they'll not take it so well.

Luckily for me, they did take it well, and more importantly, they promised to keep it a secret from anyone else. Not only had they promised not to tell anyone, but also, to help keep people from getting suspicious about things they way they had. I definitely did not need people following me out to the Shack. If they did, they took a big risk in the chance of getting really hurt. I don't know what I would do if I had found out that I bit someone. Because, I wish this curse on no one, especially someone who would only have been a student like myself at that point.

I still don't know what I would have done if I hadn't made friends with Sirius and James. I assume I would just be a mess, either that or possibly a hermit who just hid on his bed up in the dorms doing nothing but studying and being paranoid of someone finding out about my secret. But, even after Sirius and James found out I was still a bit reserved, maybe even a little bit on the edge as well. After all, we could still somehow not end up friends and then they could go around blabbing out that I was werewolf to the entire school. So, with them knowing is where my pattern of behavior of letting both Sirius and James really do what they want without me stepping in. After all, at that time I was so happy about having friends, and so anxious about keeping them, and my secret safe, that I didn't want to take the risk of them not being my friends anymore.

As I look back, I almost feel sorry for myself. All these conflicting emotions, most of them being pent up inside of me, the fact of dealing with the fact of me being a werewolf, what kind of sick fate lets a poor twelve year old boy go through that? At the time, I never realized how almost downright depressing my first couple of years at Hogwarts were, but as I look back I realize they were. And there were very things that I can attribute to the slow and steady change in my persona over the years. One of them is me being friends with such outrageous characters such as James and Sirius, and I honestly thank Merlin everyday I had them. Without them, I simply wouldn't be me. After all, you tend to open up more around those two, not only get a certain reputation for being so closely associated with the two.

Of course, it wasn't just us three either. We had Peter. Peter wasn't exactly as tight as us three, but he was still a friend. Of course, all through first year, he was just the guy who followed us around, but as we got to know him, we came to realize he was an ok guy. So, we let him in our little circle as the fourth member. Peter though wasn't out there that night with Sirius and James. I don't know if he chickened out and didn't come, or simply wasn't invited at all. There were several things that Sirius and James did on their own with out Peter and I.

But, seeing as Peter wasn't out there, I gave Sirius and James permission to tell him the truth about me. They of course did so for me. Apparently, they also threatened him an inch to his life if he told anyone else about it. Me being a werewolf was to be kept a secret between us four, no other students are to know. I simply didn't want them to. I had been so scared about telling those three, and so relieved they took it well and all, but sure, those were my best friends. I'm fairly sure the entire student body wouldn't take the news about me as well as they had. Peter had also agreed to do the extra studying to become an animagus to help me out.

Never in my life had I ever been so grateful. These three guys were the best people in the world in my eyes. They stayed my friends where as most people would have left. And not only had they stayed, but they agreed to help me and support me in the times I really needed them the most. Those three guys completely changed my life that year. I suddenly had more trust in people, more self confidence in myself, and I was all around more happy. The things that can happen one night on a full moon.