"I'm gonna miss the old ship," remarked Amy. "But Hermes tells me the new one is totally schmawesome."
"I hope it comes equipped with a holobrothel," said Bender, who was carting the professor's head jar in his corrugated arms.
"And I was so afraid that old clunker of a ship would outlive me," said Farnsworth's head.
Zoidberg, Cubert, Delta, and Fry met them in front of the new spacecraft. Amy, taking one look at Fry's head, remarked, "Your hair's all frizzy."
"Uh-huh," said Fry with a shrug. "I'll wash it after work."
"Don't forget," said Amy, "you have a date with Zapp tonight. You want to look your best."
"I'll use shampoo," said Fry lackadaisically.
They stood reverently as Hermes addressed them. "Ladies and gentle-mon," he boomed. "Welcome to the unveiling of the new Planet Express delivery ship."
"Hooray!" cried Zoidberg, slapping his claws together.
"And now, without further ado," said Hermes, "I would like to thank all the people who made this moment possible."
"Show us the freakin' ship!" yelled Fry.
"At the count of three, son," said Hermes. "One…"
"Two…" said Dwight.
"Three!"
With a mighty yank, Hermes and Dwight managed to pull down about half of the tarp, leaving most of the ship still covered.
"Do over!" shouted Bender.
The two Jamaicans gave the sheet another tug, but it hardly moved. "Great sofa of Nuku'Alofa!" exclaimed Hermes. "It's caught on the laser turret!"
"Don't worry, Dad," said Dwight. "I'll climb up there and untangle it."
The boy seized hold of the tarp and began to scramble up, but his father objected. "It's too dangerous, mon," he said. "Let me take care of it."
Dwight hopped to the ground, just in time to watch Hermes press a button on a remote control pad. A bolt of energy flew from the ship's laser cannon, ripping the sheet apart and blowing an enormous hole in the wall of Zoidberg's medical office.
"My clinic!" wailed the lobster. "I just had it remodeled, I did!"
The tatters of the tarp fell away, revealing a sleek, jet-black flying machine, slightly larger than the old delivery ship but similar in design. "Oooh…aaah…" said the onlookers.
"And that's not all," said Hermes. "It can also turn into a robot."
"Awesome!" exclaimed Dwight. "Push the button, Dad! Push it! Push it! Push it!"
"This goes against nature," complained Bender.
"It's gonna break," grumbled Cubert. "I just know it."
"Push it! Push it! Push it!"
"Shut the spluck up, Dwight!" said Amy.
"That was me," said Fry.
"Here goes nothing," said Hermes, pressing a large red button on his pad.
The ship quivered, then trembled. Its nacelles folded. Its fins retracted. Its nose split into four sections, each of which slid its own way. Hums and whistles emitted from its bowels as its seemingly endless parts reformed themselves into arms and legs. Within a matter of seconds, there stood a shining black robot in the place of the new ship.
A robot all of six feet tall.
Amy, Zoidberg, Fry, Bender, Farnsworth, Hermes, Dwight, and Cubert gaped in awe and disappointment.
"Well, I can still ride on its shoulders," said Dwight sheepishly.
Leela burst into the docking bay, panting heavily. "Did I miss anything?" she asked.
To be continued
