Cubert peered at the bulky black robot, whose glassy eyes and forehead resembled a cockpit. "This must be some kind of trick," he opined. "All the mass of the spaceship couldn't possibly fit into such a small volume."

The robot's eyes flashed as it began to speak. "I am equipped with the latest in miniaturization technology," it stated in a husky female voice. "Allow me to demonstrate."

As the PE crew watched, the automaton began to expand, eventually reaching eighteen feet in height. Its features remained unchanged relative to its new size. "My maximum achievable height is fifty-four feet," it said in a thundering voice. "At that height, I would be much too large for your docking bay."

"Well, I've seen all I need to see," said Farnsworth's head. "Bender, would you like to do the honors?"

Bender rested the professor's head jar on a shelf, opened his chest door, and pulled out a bottle of champagne. "It seems such an awful waste," he said, "but here goes."

"Wait!" exclaimed Amy. "We haven't decided on a name yet."

"Let's call her Gigantina," said Dwight.

"Black Widow," said Leela.

"Zoidberg," said Zoidberg.

"Smurfette," said Fry.

"100101101000101101," said Delta.

"Don't be stupid," said Cubert. "Nobody uses binary anymore."

"I think we should call her Raven," said Amy, "because ravens are black."

"I like it, mon," said Hermes.

The crewmates all looked at each other and nodded in agreement. Bender stepped forward, raised the bottle of champagne high in the air, and declared, "I hereby christen thee Raven, full member of the Planet Express team, with all the rights and privileges pertaining thereunto, yada yada yada." After a moment's hesitation, he forcefully swung the bottle against the giant robot's leg, shattering it (the bottle, that is). Puddles of champagne and shards of glass covered the floor around him.

"I'll clean that," offered Delta.

"Let me handle this mess, baby," said Bender, who then stooped down and began to suck the champagne from the floor with his mouth.

Leela watched the scene thoughtfully. I'm not sure if I should tell Bender. He'd probably go ballistic and bend Philaster into a pretzel. If only I could convince him that Bender has worth as an individual—but how, when I'm not fully convinced of it myself?

Once Raven had resumed the form of a spaceship, Leela went inside and started to familiarize herself with the significantly more advanced controls. She can go 45 times the speed of light—that's three times more than the old ship. Her maximum impulse velocity is 99 lightspeed, and with these new relativistic compensators, she can reach that speed without expending all her fuel. Simplified navigation controls with enhanced response time, antigrav boosters for more efficient takeoffs…and is that Corinthian leather on the seats? I'm in heaven, or I would be, if I wasn't a guy.

She sat down in the pilot's chair, leaned backwards, and stuck her hands behind her head. I'll just shut my eyes for a few minutes and breathe in that new spaceship smell. What Leela's mind failed to take into account was that Fry's body had its own law of physics—when in motion it tended toward rest, and when at rest it tended to fall asleep.

Leela didn't know how many hours had passed before Fry's cell phone woke her up (the ring tone was, naturally, Walking on Sunshine). "Hello?" she spoke into the receiver.

"Hi, Philip. This is Mildred."

Oh, great. "Hey, Mildred. What's up?"

"I don't have any plans for lunch," said the girl. "I thought maybe you and I could eat somewhere."

Now what? thought Leela. I know a hundred excuses to get out of a date with a man, but I've never been asked out by a woman before.

"Look, Mildred," she said with a bit of impatience. "I'm just a space delivery boy. You can do a lot better. Leela knows a really nice guy named Chaz. He's an assistant to Mayor Poopenmeyer."

"Yeah, Leela seems to know everyone," said Mildred bitterly. "She's got a date with Zapp freakin' Brannigan, for goodness' sake. But when I asked her if she could set me up with one of her friends, she just shrugged."

Leela could think of nothing helpful to say.

"You told me Leela would understand my predicament," Mildred went on. "But she doesn't understand a thing. Having only one eye isn't getting in the way of her love life at all, from the looks of it."

But I do understand, thought Leela's mind. If only I were back in my own body, I'd be like a sister to you.

"I'm asking you to lunch, not Leela," said Mildred. "Just answer yes or no. Do you, or do you not, want to go to lunch with me?"

I am not gonna date a girl, thought Leela. Being around girls makes Fry's body do funny things.

"Okay," she said. "Where and when?"

What did I just do? Is Fry's brain really that defective?

"Meet me at noon, at the Palm d'Orbit," said Mildred excitedly. "I've already made the reservations."

And you said you didn't have any plans for lunch.

"See ya there, Mildred," said Leela.

The call ended. She moaned. There's no turning back now.


To be continued