Raven's maiden voyage was, appropriately enough, a voyage to meet a maiden. "See you later, guys," said Leela as she ascended the boarding ramp into the ship's interior.

"Have a good time with Mildred," said Fry, waving. "Don't do anything I would do."

"Forget about Mildred," said Zoidberg. "Have a good time with the buffet."

The ceiling of the Planet Express docking bay split in two, and Raven floated effortlessly into the sky through the magic of its antigravity drive. An instant later the rockets flared up, and the sleek vessel hurtled toward the stratosphere as the people below watched and applauded.

To pass the time of what would be a very short trip, Leela struck up a conversation with Raven. "Our last ship had a female artificial intelligence," she recalled. "It fell in love with Bender, and we almost got blown to bits as a result. You won't make the same mistake, will you?"

"Impossible," replied the ship's computer voice. "I am incapable of making decisions based on emotion. My only motivations are pure logic and a sense of duty."

"That's good," said Leela. "But what if somebody tries to tamper with your programming and turn you into an emotional being?"

"My internal security scanner would detect such an attempt," replied Raven, "and automatically trigger a shutdown sequence."

"I'm glad to hear it," said Leela. "Emotional spaceship accidents kill more people than drunk drivers. Only now are shipmakers waking up to that fact, and adding anti-emotion safety features."

Minutes passed in silence as the asteroid on which stood the Palm d'Orbit Restaurant loomed closer. "I have another question," said Leela. "You consider yourself a female spaceship, right?"

"Gender has no part in my considerations," said Raven.

"Oh," said Leela, disappointed. "I was about to ask you why your robot form doesn't have boobs, but, never mind."

Upon arriving at the Palm d'Orbit lot, Leela turned the ship over to a robotic valet, who commended her on obtaining such a fabulous spacecraft. The restaurant was half filled, and cheesy 2980's music played over the speaker system. Leela scanned the room for the presence of Mildred, and saw her on the far end, staring blankly into space.

"Hi, Mildred," she said when she reached the booth where she sat.

The girl's face lit up. "Philip! I was afraid you wouldn't come…I mean, wouldn't come on time."

"I like to be punctual," said Leela as she took off her red jacket and sat down.

"That's unusual," Mildred remarked. "In my experience, guys are usually late." The red-haired girl wore a modest green dress, and her curly locks were tied in puffs behind her head.

Maybe I should tell her I'm really a girl, thought Leela. But seeing how strange she is, I'm afraid she'd only want me more.

"I'm getting the horta Marsala," said Mildred. "What about you, Philip?"

Leela glanced disinterestedly at the menu lying before her. "I think I'll just get an appetizer," she said. "And maybe a Slurm."

Mildred giggled. "You're funny, Philip. You're not like the other guys at all."

You have no idea, thought Leela.

"Is it because you're from the 20th century?" Mildred asked him.

"Who told you that?"

"Leela did." Mildred sighed wistfully. "I can't imagine anything cooler than being frozen for a thousand years and waking up in a totally different world."

"Neither can I," said Leela glibly.

"Look at yourself now," Mildred went on. "You're having lunch at a restaurant in outer space. Could you do that in the 20th century?"

Please don't ask me history questions. "Uh, of course not."

"You're a really great guy," said Mildred, gazing affectionately at him. "All the other guys are afraid that if they marry me, they'll have half-alien savages for kids. I don't know if it works that way or not; all I know is, I turned out all right."

Leela grimaced bashfully.

"I said the M-word, didn't I?" Mildred giggled again. "You don't have to marry me if you don't want to, Philip. For the moment, I just wanna hang with you. I get the feeling we have a lot in common."

More than you think. "Sure, Mildred," said Leela. "I'd love to begin a platonic relationship with you."

"Oh, Philip," Mildred gushed. "You've made me the happiest girl in orbit around Earth."

At that instant it occurred to Leela's mind that this lonely woman might prove useful to her/him. "I wonder if I could ask a favor of you, Mildred."

"Anything."

Leela adopted a serious tone. "I don't want Leela to date Zapp Brannigan," she stated.

"Why not?" said Mildred. "A gorgeous hunk of spaceman like him?"

"I have my reasons," said Leela.

"You want Leela for yourself, don't you?" said Mildred playfully.

"No!" Leela insisted.

"I'm just kidding," said his date. "Sure, I'll help you split them up. What do I do?"

Leela lowered her voice. "Zapp's killed more Chalnoth than anyone can count. In his eyes they're lower than what scum call scum, and so are you. If he even sees you helping Leela with her hair, I think that'd be enough to discourage him."

"Oh," said Mildred with relief. "For a minute I thought you were gonna ask me to do something hard."


To be continued