"I love you, Leela," said Zapp, taking him gently by the hand. "I want you, and no one else. Please say you'll marry me."
I can't marry him, thought Fry with regret. I'm sure we'd have a wonderful life together, but I have to give this body back at the end of the month.
"I can't," he blurted out.
"You…can't?" said Zapp, visibly disappointed. "What's stopping you?"
Good question. "I'm…I'm really…I'm really busy right now. Could you propose to me again in a month?" Whew.
Scowling, Zapp climbed back into his seat, closed the box containing the diamond ring, and peered at Leela. "You're still in love with that pirate Foss," he said suspiciously. "Fascinating fellow, yes, but no moral values at all—I know, because I've been inside his mind."
"This is not about Foss…I mean, Philaster," said Fry.
"In that case," said Zapp, "it won't make any difference to you that Foss has stolen the essence of your robot comrade, Bender, and converted it into a wristwatch."
"What are you talking about?"
Zapp stowed the ring case in his pocket, and pulled an object from the opposite pocket—a watch with a robotic face engraved on it. As Fry gaped incredulously at the timepiece, the voice of Bender himself sounded: "What're you staring at, chump? Oh, Leela, it's you. Sorry…"
All at once, Fry became blind with anger. "That monster!" he exclaimed. "How can he do such a thing to my buddy?"
"That's more like it," said Zapp with satisfaction. "Now, can we get back to the question of our getting married?"
Fry closed his eyelid tightly and struggled to calm down. "Take me home, Zapp," he requested.
I don't get it, thought Captain Brannigan glumly. I followed your suggestion and changed the date to 7 p.m., but look what happened!
Trust me, Zapp, said the mysterious voice in his head. If you had tried to meet Leela at 7:30, things would have turned out much worse. At least her answer wasn't an outright 'no'.
I'm not taking any more advice until you tell me who you are and how you're communicating with me, thought Zapp.
I'd rethink that if I were you, said the voice.
He retired early that night, and slept fitfully—partly because of what he had felt and experienced, and partly because Leela's mattress was too soft. I can't believe I let myself go like that, he thought. I was almost to the point of really thinking I was a girl. And I've got to put up with these crazy emotions for four more weeks… His wrist console, which he had left lying on a nightstand, buzzed insistently. It's probably Zapp, he thought, and rolled over in the bed.
Leela and Mildred, in the meantime, were exiting the local googolplex after sitting through a viewing of Scary Movie 999 (tagline: "Turn it upside down and you get 666."). "I swear, those Scary Movie sequels get better with every passing year," Leela remarked.
"How many have you seen?" Mildred asked him. "The series didn't start until after you were frozen."
Oops, thought Leela's mind. Gotta keep up the 'naïve 20th-century guy' act.
"Hey, is that a wild parrot?" said Leela in an attempt to change the subject.
Mildred looked into the alley at which Fry was pointing. "I love wild parrots," she said. "Where is it? I don't see it."
While her head was turned, Leela took an impulsive peek down her V-cut blouse. There I go again, she thought. They're just boobs. Why am I so fascinated by them?
As the pair walked along the lighted street toward the transit tube, Leela picked up his cell phone. "I'd better see how Leela's doing," he said, and dialed her number.
The wrist console buzzed again. Give it up, Zapp, thought Fry drowsily.
Leela closed her phone. "She's not back yet," she said with chagrin. "And it's already 10 p.m. I hope they're not doing what I know they're doing." Poor Fry, stuck with my body and my biological urges. How could he refuse a smooth talker like Zapp?
At the Robot Arms building, they found Bender hard at work, trying to lift a ball of dark matter from the carpet. "Cleanup in aisle infinity," the robot grumbled.
"Nibbler!" said Leela, scolding the little fanged creature. "You're a guest in this house, so I expect you to show some manners."
"Oh, how cute!" gushed Mildred as she knelt down to tickle Nibbler's chin. The Nibblonian uttered a high-pitched squeal of delight.
"Little help," said Bender, and Fry stooped over to assist him with the waste removal.
Mildred stood up and watched the roommates struggle. "It doesn't look that heavy," she remarked.
"It has…the weight…of a thousand suns," Leela grunted.
"You can't mean that literally," said Mildred. "An object with the weight of a thousand suns would suck up the entire planet with its gravity."
"Spare me the science lesson, Little Orphan Annie," said Bender.
After they had solved the problem by slowly rolling the dark matter up a ramp and into the litter box, Leela bid farewell to Mildred. "I had a good time, even though it wasn't really a date," she said.
"I had a good time too," said Mildred, and her blouse drooped as she leaned over to kiss Fry's cheek. Not the boobs again, thought Leela. Look away…look away…
After a few more unsuccessful attempts to contact Fry, Leela went to bed and slept fitfully—partly because of her concern over what her counterpart might be doing with Zapp, partly because Fry's mattress was hard and lumpy. As sleep began to overcome her, she thought she felt Nibbler's meat-scented breath against her face. "Good widdle Nibbler," she muttered.
I hope the presence of Leela's consciousness in the Chosen One's body doesn't complicate matters, thought Lord Nibbler as he extended his third eye in the direction of Fry's nose. There was a brief flash, and the young man's eyes flew open.
"Brainspawn!" Leela blurted out involuntarily.
Her mind was in a whirl as she looked around the room. Nibbler was nowhere to be seen.
"Huh?" she mumbled, and fell into a deep slumber.
to be continued
