Zapp Brannigan appeared to be the happiest man in the universe. "It's good to be back in my red velour uniform," he said, patting his washboard abs. Welcoming him to the PE docking bay were Farnsworth's head, Fry, Amy, Zoidberg, Bender, Hermes, Cubert, and Leela, who was grotesquely sprawled over a chair, Fry's tongue lolling out of her mouth.

"It remains to be seen whether Kif will let you resume command of the Nimbus," said the professor. "After all, the jury's still out on whether you're mentally capable."

"You'll see I'm equally useful in an advisory capacity," Zapp assured him. "Now, who's the lucky crew that will escort me to the great beyond?"

"Me! Me!" cried Amy, waving her arms.

"Zoidberg, maybe?" said Zoidberg.

"You'll need some muscle in case things get hairy," said Bender. "Count me in."

"Excellent," said Zapp. "We'll need a pilot. I choose the lovely, capable Turanga Leela."

Fry grimaced with displeasure. "Uh, we'll need a delivery boy as well," he stated. "I choose the handsome, temporarily unconscious Philip J. Fry."

"Wake up, mon," said Hermes, nudging Leela's limp head with his knee. "You've been selected."

"Huh?" mumbled Leela as she emerged from her stupor. The moment she laid eyes on Zapp, she screamed in terror.

"It's okay, Fry," said Fry. "You're just having a bad dream."

"Yeah," said Leela, glaring indignantly at Zapp. "A bad dream that won't go away."

"Very well," said Farnsworth. "Now, the Azaria solar system is 8,000 light-years away, so the journey will take four days. You'll need to stock up on food, reading materials, and in Bender's case, alcohol."

"Hey, I like to read too," said Bender, showing off his stack of Playbot magazines.

"Wait just a minute," Cubert chimed in. "Did I hear you say 8,000 light-years? Why, at Raven's top speed of 45 times light, it'll take you 178 years to cover that distance. By the time you get there, you'll all be as old as the professor."

"Kill the boy," said Zoidberg, snapping his claws. "He knows too much."

Leela stood up quickly. "Before we leave," she told the others, "there's something I have to do."

Before Bender had a chance to say, "The ship's got a toilet, Fry," the young redhead had absconded with Farnsworth's head, and the cyclops had followed him.

They set down the professor's jar on a table in the laboratory. "We can't go on this trip the way we are," Leela insisted. "We've got to reverse the body switch, and we've got to do it now."

"That's insane!" Farnsworth protested. "Switching back so soon may cause irreparable damage to your brains."

"Professor, Zapp wants to marry me!" said Leela earnestly. "Even worse, he thinks Fry is me, and he wants to marry Fry!" I can't let them know that I'm really trying to weasel out of being the Chosen One, thought Leela's mind. I don't want become a coward in their eyes.

"And that's not all," said Fry. "Zapp thinks I'm a pilot, but I don't know the first thing about flying a spaceship, or even the second thing."

"These are all valid concerns," said Farnsworth. "But when weighed against the risk of permanent brain damage, they come up wanting. My answer is still no."

Fry and Leela faced each other with determination. "It looks like we'll have to go over the professor's head on this one," said Fry.

"Agreed," said Leela.

Grabbing the Frinkomatic from a nearby shelf, they put their hands around the grips and held the device above Farnsworth's head jar. "Activating…now," said Leela, flipping the power switch.

Five second passed. Nothing changed.

"I'm still you," said Leela to Fry. "What's wrong?"

"Wonder twin powers, activate!" exclaimed Fry.

Again, nothing happened. "That didn't do it either," said Leela.

"Sweet zombie Jesus!" said Farnsworth as he looked upward. "Someone's tampered with the Frinkomatic!"

"How do you know?" Fry asked him.

"The door to the compartment housing the main induction coil is open," replied the professor, "and the main induction coil isn't there."

"What exactly does that mean?" said Leela.

"It means," answered Farnsworth, "that you may as well try to switch bodies using a food processor."

Fry and Leela rested the device on the table, and gave each other quizzical looks. Then Fry pointed a finger at the professor's jar. "You did this!" he snapped.

"Me?" said Farnsworth incredulously. "With what? My false teeth?"

"No, wait," said Leela as the truth became clear to her. "It was Nibbler."

Fry gaped at her, then started to laugh.

"I'm serious," said Leela. "Nibbler is really a highly evolved alien. I learned of his true nature when the space brains attacked Earth, making everybody stupid."

"Space brains?" said Fry mockingly. "Are you making this stuff up on the spot? It's really good."

"Let's try to keep our minds open to all possibilities," said Farnsworth's head. "If Nibbler did steal the induction coil, where would he hide it?"

"He wouldn't hide it," said Leela. "He would eat it."

"Great," moaned Fry. "That means we've got to find another body switcher, and pronto."

"There's no time for that now," said the professor. "The delivery is more important. Entire worlds may hang in the balance."

Entire worlds, thought Leela's mind. And I'm the only one who can save them. I wish I'd stayed in bed.


To be continued