A/N: Everyone takes the news about possible transmigration remarkably well. They take other news less so.
Chapter 41
Duo was lovely at all times, but especially in the moments when he was electrified with passion. He gesticulated exuberantly, caught up in his own ideas, or went into a mumbled iteration of his thought process in order to put it in order, violet eyes glittering in his zeal. His attention would be focused on the whirlwind of his thoughts for the majority of the time, but occasionally his searing gaze would focus on the recipient of his spiel and it was like facing the sun in its immensity.
"Heero, are you even listening to me?"
I nodded automatically, stopped, then nodded more decisively. At the doubtful look in Duo's eyes, I hurried to recount what he'd said so far: "You think you're from a foreign land called New York, you were impoverished, and you were struck by a...very fast carriage. Then when you woke up, you were here," I summarized succinctly. "And realized you read about this place in a book."
Duo looked at first surprised - did he really think I wouldn't listen to him? - then troubled, a small frown twisting his lips. "Okay, good to know you weren't just fantasizing about my lips or something-" I was but I could multitask. "-but you have nothing to say about…"
Here, Duo waved his hand around in a general gesture encompassing 'all of this'. I wanted to close the distance between us at the clear hesitance in his shoulders but thought better of it; it wasn't comfort Duo was looking for here, but understanding. Seated as he was in the armchair near the balcony doors, it was clear he'd wanted space between us as I remained perched on the side of his bed.
"...And you're certain this was not an elaborate dream?" I asked him. Given the amount of detail and how hooked these 'memories' were in his mind, it was unlikely; but Duo's mind was in an extremely vulnerable state at the start of his amnesia, and it wasn't completely impossible that a very detailed dream managed to make a permanent impression. Unlikely, but not impossible.
Duo snorted, crossing his arms over his chest. "What kind of fucked up nightmare makes me live through 28 years of that bullshit," he pointed out reasonably. "At least if it was a dream, I could have eaten more than off-brand Cup Ramen. My imagination would have at least been able to conjure up brand name cup noodles."
I stared at him, not quite understanding how foodstuff countered the argument but I guess that was an answer in and of itself. "So you believe you...passed away," I stumbled over the words, pain flaring in my heart. Although according to his own words, this was a Duo I had never met - but was he still not Duo in essence? "And upon waking here, initially thought you replaced my Duo?"
The idea of replacement had been horrifying when Duo first explained it. As if some higher power had scooped my Duo out - memory and soul - and poured this other Duo in to puppeteer my love's body. Duo was Duo, and though I adored both in turn - there was something heart-wrenching in the thought of falling in love with my soulmate's doppelganger.
Duo may have abhorred me from the beginning and may have continued to hate me - but that didn't make me love him any less. Having him seemingly replaced was upsetting, leaving no chance for me to connect to the man I first fell for and explain the multitude of complications that mired our relationship.
The person Duo was after the greenhouse fire was undeniably lovely as well, and someone who I could not conceive as a different person. The memories that had scarred him in turn may have been missing, but the core of who Duo was was still there: someone kind to others, who teased as often as he defended, who stood between the predatory and the weak without hesitation. It was no mystery why I could not help but love him.
Another version of Duo usurping the Duo I had known was also unlikely, if Duo's most recent episodes were an indication. Duo stated he "came to be" in this world the day after the greenhouse fire, when he woke up as the Duchess of Yuy; however, just now he'd remembered the night of the fire - memories he would not have if he were a different person.
"If it was not a dream, and even if these memories you have of this other life are real," I continued, looking at my husband in consideration. "It does not mean you are not the Duo Maxwell of this world. The fact that you're remembering bits and pieces from that night suggests that your amnesia is real, only instead of erasing all of your memories - memories from your life before have resurfaced in their stead."
Duo's gaze was very flat. "I read about you and this entire world in a book, Heero," he pointed out. "This is more than just me being reincarnated."
"There's no guarantee that your previous life was real," I countered mildly. "Elements from your current life showed up in novel-form, and you have always imagined escaping from this life…"
"I wouldn't have tried to escape from you!"
A warm bloom of affection unfurled in my chest at his words, which I acknowledged with a fleeting smile. "Still, there's always a possibility that you endured a prophetic dream that pulled elements from your current set of memories to build out future events in this other life," I reasoned out. "We'll need to examine both your past and current sets of memory to be sure, but I'm not convinced you are not the Duo of this world."
A complicated expression flashed across Duo's face, but after a moment, he nodded in agreement. "I was so sure when I first woke up here, but lately… There are times where things come a little too quickly," he admitted. "...But you know, your easy acceptance of all this craziness is really fucking weird."
"Duo, you're all that I care about," I said. "I'll accept all parts of you."
A red blush stole across his face, to my delight. "Fuckin' male lead," he groaned, hiding his face in his hands. I didn't know what he meant by that - was the book written like a fable? From the way Duo described it, it sounded more like a dry history text; he did not go into too much detail, other than admitting that most of everything he told others he 'remembered' were actually things he learned from the book, such as the mines in Aoba-ku and his own transgressions as the Duchess.
"By the way…" Duo started, looking up and so obviously trying to change the subject that I couldn't help a victorious little smirk. "How long are we supposed to pretend that they're not eavesdropping?"
My smirk dropped in favor of a small scowl. I didn't know who or what Duo was exactly referring to, but I figured it out quickly enough - especially as the door creaked open and Quatre poked his head inside with a wry look. Before I could muster up the words to fire him, Wufei skulked his way inside, followed by his fellow traitors - namely, everyone I'd just kicked out of the room over an hour ago.
"How long have you known we were listening in?!" Meilan demanded, as if she was the offended party here.
Duo gave her a dry look. "Since you left the room. You're all shit spies, you know that?" Pause. "Except you, Commander. You're a freak."
Trowa did not roll his eyes visibly, but the air around him implied it.
"Well, it's a good thing we were listening," Wufei huffed.
I glared at him. "This was a private conversation."
"Yes, I could have done without hearing the love confession," he agreed contemptuously. "That was a slog to get through."
"I hate you," I told him plaintively.
Before Wufei could tell me all of the sweet promises he'd overheard me say, Quatre moved to Duo's side. The others fell quiet at his approach, and though Duo watched him with a weary sort of look, he met Quatre's eyes readily.
Quatre drew to a stop to Duo's right, meeting violet with only a fleeting glimpse of cerulean. Another breath later, he laid a hand on Duo's cheek, leaning down to draw their faces closer together. I glowered at the back of Quatre's head at the diminished proximity between him and my husband, but Quatre stopped inches away soon enough.
Another moment passed, before whatever Quatre saw - or, more likely, felt - had him lean back and pull his hand away, with only a small, thoughtful smile on his lips. "Well, this explains the discrepancies you've shown thus far when it comes to your amnesia," he said. "Is your interest in engineering from this other life?"
"I was an engineer," Duo answered.
"Regarding this other life," Wufei started, as Meilan moved to Duo's other side after clearly having read something in Quatre's easy acceptance. "We still need to ascertain if this other life was real or imagined - and if real, does that mean the Duchess is susceptible to prophetic dreams."
Help came from an unexpected corner. "His Grace said he learned about the iron mines from this 'book' in his other life," Trowa spoke up. "And they do exist. Some element of prophecy is possible, is it not?"
"Hold up," Duo frowned. "Are you saying that prophecies are a thing? Isn't that...kind of like magic?"
"If your other life was real and you are a separate entity from the Duchess, then is it not magical you were able to migrate into this world?" Wufei posed. "Or if that other life was a dream but the things you learned from it come to pass, it would then be considered prophetic. Frankly speaking, magic being at play is the better option - otherwise you would be considered hysterical and delusional, and the only recourse would be to keep you at home for the foreseeable future."
Duo paled.
"We are not locking you up at home," I said quickly, shooting Wufei a brief glare.
Quatre nodded, "And you are not hysterical or delusional."
Meilan patted Duo on the hand consolingly. "I'd let you out to wreak havoc even if you are crazy."
"Gee, thanks."
"As Barton said, this...vision of yours has already proven true about the point of the iron mines," Wufei continued, a tad more defensively. "Has anything else come to pass that you read from this vision?"
The fact that Wufei felt comfortable asking Duo so straightforwardly showed that he fully believed Duo wouldn't lie to him, even for his own benefit. It warmed me even more, to see that Duo had built his own bond with my close friend despite their fraught beginning.
"Um, a few things...here and there…" Duo replied, now avoiding eye contact. "They were a little different, though, but I think that was mostly my fault."
Wufei rose an eyebrow, "Like what?"
Duo's eyes were now fastened onto an uninhabited corner. "...There were some interactions that I...interfered with. Like, uh… The human traffickers. Who gave me this." At the expectant silence, he reached back to unclasp the choker from around his throat, giving a clearer view of the scars on his neck.
"This...This was supposedtobeonQuatre," Duo rushed out.
"Excuse me?" Quatre said, cerulean fully in his eyes.
Duo laughed, high-pitched and shaky, still refusing to look at anyone. "Some other stuff too!" he continued quickly. "Like the slave trade in Ishigaki, and the, uh, meeting with Relena Darlian."
Relena Darlian?
"Your Grace, please expand more on the human traffickers that gave you that scar," Quatre requested, except it was less a request and more an order. "...Was I the one who was supposed to be abducted?"
A faint look of horror took over Quatre's face. I understood well that he wasn't horrified at the prospect of suffering the same torture Duo had - but rather that he hadn't and Duo was made to suffer in his stead.
If it had been me, I would have traded places with Duo without question - and though I would never be so garish as to ask that of my friends, I knew they would still defend my husband with their lives, even if they did not care for him. For Quatre, who had never disliked Duo and now considered him a good friend, this knowledge would be horrendous; to know that Duo, someone notably more delicate than Sandrock's vessel, had undergone such strife in place of Quatre himself…
"Not really," Duo replied, reading Quatre's tone and reaching out to squeeze his hand in comfort. "Hey, it's not like you were destined to suffer, you know? Actually, they weren't supposed to be discovered until later this year - we happened to stumble on them early, before they could grow bigger. If I got a few little bumps and bruises, it was well worth it!"
"They tortured you," Quatre said, grabbing Duo's hand back with wide eyes. "You threw yourself into fire."
I flinched.
"I knew I wouldn't die from it!" Duo hurried to counter, glancing at me. "I was only a little singed, and you pulled me out super quick! Really, it was all me that kind of messed it up, but it was for the best!"
There was a small intake of breath, and then Meilan was turning to stare down at Duo. "You said your-book, vision, whatever, you said it also talked about the slave trade in Ishigaki," she began with increasingly narrowing eyes. "And that's where you met me. Did you- Did you put yourself in danger in place of me?"
Duo's wide-eyed expression was answer enough.
"I can't believe you!" Meilan stormed, face twisted with ire. "Which scars did you take in place of me?!"
"Meilan, it wasn't like that-"
"Was I supposed to be the one pretending to be a pleasure slave?!"
I jolted up from the bed. "To be a what?"
"Nothing, it's nothing!" Duo hurriedly replied, laughing uneasily. I turned to Quatre, but the other man looked just as shocked and confused as I did - so this had to have been something before Quatre returned to the province.
I heard Wufei's sudden intake of breath. "It was you?" he hissed in shock. "You were the one who masqueraded as a pleasure slave in Ishigaki to get into the governor's residence?"
The Ishigaki report came to mind immediately. It had been vague, in retrospect, and we'd all been so distracted by Meilan's sudden change in opinion regarding Duo that we hadn't really questioned it.
"You pretended to be a pleasure slave?" I growled, stalking towards Duo. What the hell had Hilde and the others been thinking?! "You- Did he do anything to you?"
Duo shook his head; Meilan averted her eyes, jaw clenched.
"What did he do?" I demanded.
"This is what you want to talk about right now?!" Duo exclaimed. "I'm literally telling you I'm some alternate-version of your husband and all you care about is if that old dick groped me?!"
"So he did touch you?!"
"I didn't even get hurt in Ishigaki," Duo said. "I was literally just eye candy!"
Meilan scowled. "He fondled you and then slapped you so hard your face was bruised for a week."
"And I kicked his ass for it!"
There was a faint red haze to my vision as I spoke. "I'm glad you're okay," I told Duo, before turning to Trowa. "Execute the former governor immediately."
"He's already dead," Meilan interjected with grim satisfaction.
Duo started, "What–?! When?!"
"At some point last winter," Meilan said apathetically. "Fool got impaled by an icicle."
"What the fuck do you mean he got-"
"So the former governor is dead, moving on!" Wufei cut in, ignoring Duo's affronted expression. "You interfered in events which changed the outcomes - does that mean the future you read in the vision no longer applies?"
The red faded from my vision somewhat, attention focusing once more on my husband's reply. If this was true, then it would be harder to gauge if Duo's new prophetic abilities were legitimate; the future once more became unknown, so anything Duo had read was one of several possibilities that may never pan out.
"...I thought that may happen," Duo said after a moment, expression closing somewhat. "But I'm not entirely sure that's true anymore. In the end, Heero met Relena Darlian."
"Her again," Quatre noted aloud. "How is she involved?"
After a moment, I put a face to the name - the woman who had crashed into me at the night market. If she was a person of such importance that Duo's vision had taken note of her, I quickly re-evaluated her from my memory.
She was too frail and weak to be physically combative, which meant she must fall in line somewhere within Duo's prowess - politicking. From what little I knew of Darlian's situation, however, Relena should not have as much power as someone like Duo, who came from a noble bloodline and had any number of people eating out of his hands. Relena was more similar to myself: rumored to be Duke Darlian's bastard child, the product of a tryst between himself and a peasant mistress.
Duo wasn't looking anyone in the face again. "...She's Heero's wife."
I froze.
Meilan's grip on the back of Duo's chair broke it. "SHE'S WHAT!"
I couldn't tear my eyes off of Duo's downcast face. "He will marry her by the end of next year," he continued. "They were…supposed to meet at the beach that day, but she never showed - not until the night market."
There was a still moment of silence as everyone tried to digest that. The words themselves hardly made any sense to me. If Duo and I had never married, then I would have remained unmarried; I could conceive of no one else to who I would give my life aside from the man before me.
"How is that– Did we not wed in this vision?" I managed out of a dry throat. Perhaps my father had forced the issue… He had always been so intent on seeing me married to a noble to solidify my claim, and if Duke Maxwell had not offered his son, then maybe my father had found someone of similar ranking to myself to marry me off to. The rumored bastard daughter of another duke was likely the best he could get. Duo had said he'd read that he'd cheated on me, but perhaps we had only been engaged and not wed-
"Um, no," Duo replied, immediately putting an end to that possibility. "We still married."
I stared at him.
"...Are you saying the Duke cheated on you with Relena Darlian?"
I pinned a heated glare on Trowa for the question, which he fully ignored.
Duo scowled, "Of course not! Heero would never cheat!"
Good to know vision-me wasn't a complete waste of space.
"I'm struggling to figure out how he ended up married to Relena Darlian then," Wufei said. "Was it blackmail? Were you at risk if he did not? Should we be wary of the Darlian household?"
Duo spluttered, "None of that! What the heck are you thinking?!"
Wufei pointed straight at me without even bothering to look. "There is no way this idiot is marrying anyone who isn't you!"
'This idiot...' Wufei was 100% correct, but I don't know if I liked his attitude about it. I usually appreciated my friends' candor when it came to me, but still had to repress the urge to tell Wufei I was firing him.
"Honestly, if the vision is saying His Grace the Duke married anyone but you… We should probably take it with a grain of salt," Quatre added doubtfully.
"But think about how I acted before all– this!" Duo said, gesturing to himself. "Are you telling me Heero would still be happily married to me even then?!"
"Yes," I said, immediately and with force.
"Yes, he would."
"Undoubtedly."
"Without question or hesitation."
"You could spit on him and he'd say thank you."
I glared. Forget Wufei, clearly Trowa was once again making another bid to get banished from the country. Before I could formally terminate his employment, though, Quatre shot him a disappointed look - which I knew had much greater effect, especially seeing as Trowa metaphorically wilted on the spot and locked his gaze in the opposite direction.
Duo huffed in aggravation. "Listen, Relena's really great! She's nice and she doesn't get into fights, and– and– uh, she has great hair!"
Meilan looked pained. "Wow, the bar is so low…"
"I think you have beautiful hair," I said supportively.
Wufei snorted, once again pointing at me in overt disgust. "Are you listening to this fool, Your Grace? You can't even compliment someone else without the Duke trying to flatter you again."
"I'm not saying it just for flattery," I defended myself. "Objectively, Duo is very attractive. He's always taken care of his hair especially, even before the new hair soaps, and now his hair is not only soft and shiny, but healthy. Not to mention the color rivals that of the most beautiful autumn leaves–"
"Yes, yes, the Duchess is the prettiest, we get it," Meilan cut in. "Can we get back to the vision? Or talking about the Duke's other spouse? Or anything else, really, I already had to sit through the Duchess's spiel about the Duke's good looks on the trip to the Capital, I don't want to go through it again but in reverse."
Duo, cheeks red, let out a garbled noise of embarrassment. I would have commiserated, but the look was so adorable on his face that I mostly just wanted to kiss him again.
"If the vision was true and the Duke really married Lady Darlian," Wufei started with a thoughtful scowl. "Then we need to figure out what the Darlian family had over us. If not blackmail or threats, then perhaps a necessary political alliance for some future threat…"
"No, you're not– It wasn't like that!" Duo said. "It… They really cared for each other!"
"I care for the Duke too but I'm not going to marry him," Quatre pointed out. "Even if politics necessitated a marriage alliance, it makes no sense to marry Lady Relena to the Duke, who by your own admission, was already married to you. The most likely match, if the Yuy family needed to marry for a political alliance, would be Cathy to Lady Relena."
Trowa's head turned to pin his husband with a surprised look. "Wait, what?"
"Well, it would be a simple matter for my family to buy her a noble title in Lagrange," Quatre shrugged. "Or one of my sisters could immigrate to Sanc and marry Lady Relena instead."
"Or I could marry Lady Relena," Meilan interjected. "I could have a wife. I'd make a better husband than Wufei."
"Stop trying to collect wives!" Wufei hissed at her.
"Can you all stop trying to marry Relena for politics?! She's a good girl!" Duo snapped.
Meilan snorted, "Clearly not that good, if she's trying to seduce a married man."
"It is suspicious that she would choose Duke Yuy, especially since Duke Darlian is so close with the royal family," Quatre said. "As His Grace is the head of Sanc's military, some imperialist nobles have expressed concerns for the amount of power the Yuy province holds… It isn't unreasonable to think that Duke Darlian wanted to tie his foster daughter to His Grace to place a sort of limit on that power, or at least give the impression that that power falls under the imperialists."
Sanc's royalty ruled without question, but a lot of that had to do with the division of power beneath them. The Queen's word was law, but a lot of military power and economic influence fell to the noble classes under them. Some noble families had stronger ties or alliances to the imperial family, and were thus categorized as imperialists; others held closer ties to their regional neighbors, and were thus considered regionalists. There were, of course, families that fell outside of these groups - neutrals that laid on a sliding scale leaned one way or another. My family was considered neutral, a necessity given our military prestige, but leaned imperial for obvious reasons. This is what gave the marriage between Duo and I so much power, as the Maxwell family were also considered neutral but leaned regional.
Though Sanc remained at peace, these groups were known to have great friction between them when it came to Sanc's courts. As the heir to my family's title, I had been considered politically weak; Imperialist nobles, such as the Otto's, would have preferred something closer to a puppet ruler for the Yuy ducal family, whereas regionalist nobles, such as the Clark's, wanted a weaker head to push around and discard. My bloodline would always be an issue with both groups, but the biggest obstacle was my fighting capabilities; Wing's bloodline ran true and made the Yuy family almost impossible to deal with through battle, so the only power other Sanc nobles had was political influence.
This is what had given my father such satisfaction when Duo was brought into our family. The Maxwell family were notoriously atypical but wielded great political influence - a natural by-product of their intelligence network that made them a credible threat to anyone with something to hide. Even if Duo was nothing more than a vapid doll, as my father so believed he was, then at the very least his father and brother would ensure his safety and thus the safety of the Yuy family as well.
"Duke Darlian would never risk the wrath of the Maxwell's," I said. It just wouldn't make sense, the reward not enough to justify the risk; although the Darlian family would have a stake of power in Sanc's military prestige, it would be short-lived before Duke Maxwell's machinations began to slice through the rest of their roots. There was a reason even the Crown Prince and his cronies still tread cautiously around Duke Maxwell's heir, and few dared to spread rumors about Solo Maxwell's continued unmarried status.
"There wasn't– There was no risk," Duo said. "The Maxw– My family didn't care. They supported the marriage."
Immediately, I felt alarm ring in the back of my mind and knew my friends felt the same. The Maxwell's had supported the marriage? I knew that if even so much as my eyes strayed from my husband, Duke Maxwell would have had his eldest son gleefully gouge them out for the trespass - never mind me disavowing Duo and taking another spouse.
If Duo's vision was real and the Maxwell's supported the marriage to another person, then that meant they no longer supported the Yuy family.
It was a condemnation.
"And, uh, Relena has another thing going for her," Duo said. "She's actually Relena Peacecraft, the lost Princess."
The others gave him blank stares of confusion. This was understandable; the story of how the royal family of Sanc shattered was one not often spoken of by those outside its borders, as the sovereignty sought to gloss over that particular scandal by showcasing the Crown Prince's virtues and accomplishments. The only reason I knew as much as I did was because of my father, who had lived through it at the side of the Queen.
Queen Katrina Peacecraft had never married and never had children. Instead, she had named her sister heir, and from her, her sister's children would then inherit the throne. According to my father, it had been the Queen's way of ensuring her sister would never leave her side; it would have been custom to marry Princess Sabrina Peacecraft off, either to secure or enhance an alliance, but the sisters had been rumored to be extraordinarily close and their parents had passed early, leaving no time to even engage Princess Sabrina to someone else.
Princess Sabrina had eventually married another Sanc noble, a second-born son of the Noventa family line, and they had one child - Crown Prince Milliardo Peacecraft. As the royal line passed down power matrilineally, Princess Sabrina had felt pressured to produce a daughter - but this pressure proved to be too much, resulting in a series of miscarriages that weakened her health. It was in the midst of her sixth pregnancy that rumors began to circulate that Princess Sabrina was unfaithful to her husband, that she had been desperate for a daughter and believed it was his bloodline interfering with the results, so she'd gone to another man to sire a daughter.
When news broke that she'd given birth to a baby girl, rumors flew as rampant as cheer. The marriage between the Princess and her lawfully-wedded husband worsened to the point of palpable hostility. Princess Sabrina's health suffered in all aspects and she deteriorated rapidly, but in a way different from my own ailing mother.
Rumor was that her husband tried to kill the baby.
Rumor was that she'd tried to kill the baby herself.
The fact was that in the middle of the night, Princess Sabrina murdered her husband and disappeared with her infant child.
If Relena Darlian truly was the missing Princess, then by right of inheritance, the Crown would belong to her. But if it was true, then how had she come to be adopted by Duke Darlian? What had become of Princess Sabrina?
Who else had known?
"So you see, she's really quite a catch!" Duo continued. "She and Heero were…a good match."
I scowled at the words.
I would never marry someone aside from Duo. Politics was one thing, safety another - but I could never break my tie to Duo like that. Breaking that bond meant more than political suicide for the Yuy title and increased hostility with one of the most dangerous families in Sanc - it also meant condemning Duo alongside me. There were only two ways to remarry in Sanc: either your spouse dies, or your spouse is banished and the marriage declared null by the courts. To banish Duo and endanger him… I would sooner die myself.
"Duo, I would never betray you like that. Even if Darlian had some means to blackmail me, I would never break our marriage." The only thing I could see that being was Wing, and I would have had Trowa slaughter that entire family if they'd even implied in whispers that they would use that against me to hurt Duo. "I love you far too much to truly leave you, and I loved you then as I love you now."
Duo's face was a picture of quiet agony. "Heero…"
"I don't understand this vision. I don't understand any version of me that would do that to you," I admitted softly, reaching out to cup Duo's cheek. I wanted his violet eyes looking into mine, wanted him to understand the sincerity in my words. "I will never forsake you. I will never marry another."
Duo's previous actions came under new light: the duchy's unparalleled advances, the constant apologies, putting himself in danger, that thrice-damned list that insisted on banishment to another province - all of it painted a picture of Duo living quietly in dread of some future only he had seen.
All this time - Duo had been terrified, and I'd never known.
Duo's hand rose to rest against my own, a soft pressure that matched the tender look in his eyes. Gone was the frustration, the agony - replaced by a resigned sadness that made me want to bundle him back up into my arms.
"You would never cause me any undue harm, Heero, then or now," Duo said, stroking the back of my hand with gentle sweeps of his thumb. "This is not an issue of loyalty or politics. It was just… It was just the way it was written."
"I was written to cast you away?" I managed out through gritted teeth.
Duo took a deep breath, steeling himself. "There was no banishment. There was no separation or annulment of our marriage. I was your husband to the very end."
He stopped, looking at me. My mind churned over his words; there was no lie in them, no aggravated repetition of Relena Darian's character or titles. No banishment, no annulment… There was no other way to–-
I heard Quatre's sharp intake of breath, and then the pieces fell into place.
"I wasn't supposed to survive the greenhouse fire," Duo said, holding my hand to his cheek as my fingers flinched on his face. "You don't betray me, Heero. I make you a widower."
My body went cold all over. Duo had died in the greenhouse.
He had been so miserable - I had made him so miserable - that he'd wanted to burn to death. And then I– what? I married another person right after? I'd married this Relena Darlian, Duo's remains dusting the ground of the murder weapon I'd built him myself?
No wonder Duo could not believe me. To tell him he was loved, that he was protected and cared for - all while he knew about a future where none of that was true. A vision of his own death, where I trampled on his grave with a woman I could have hardly known before I wed her. He must have thought himself easily replaced, as pretty as a greenhouse flower soon plucked for admiration before discarded out of hand.
"Ah-– fuck, Heero, don't cry!" Duo said, yanking me down by my arm. I fell to my knees swiftly, still numbed by the revelation, as Duo maneuvered my torso between his legs so that he could lay my head against his chest. His fingers automatically started carding through my hair, and I wrapped my arms around his waist on reflex - and then for dear life.
"I already said it wasn't your fault," Duo said, fingertips scraping gently against my scalp. "I– The book, vision, it said the greenhouse fire was a mistake. A lantern fell, and I… I just couldn't make it out in time. It wasn't anyone's fault."
There was a taut silence in the room that no one aside from Duo seemed willing to break. I felt the steady beat of his heart beneath my ear, the heat of his body against my own - and it still felt so fragile, so easily lost. It nearly had been; I'd come so close to losing him several times while we were apart.
What had it been like in the vision? Had I received the news via letter, Duo's death announcement couched between Howard's reports? Had I returned home, unawares, only to be told my beloved had perished in the greenhouse I'd built him?
I clung to Duo's still-alive body with no little desperation. How had I continued on? Obligation, the duty to the people I lead and the duchy I ruled, would have ensured I did not follow Duo into death immediately - but every day must have been uninterrupted tedium, a cycle of battles I no longer had an interest in winning.
"When Relena came into your life, there was no question of fidelity. You two simply fell in love," Duo continued gently. There was a light, self-deprecating undertone as he continued. "It also helped she got along better with you guys than I did."
"I doubt I'd like her," Meilan managed out, tone watery.
Duo's fingers stilled in my hair, and I sensed him move his head though I had no idea where he'd turned to look. "...Meilan, you… I wasn't there to hear the news from Gil, so no one was none the wiser," he said haltingly, pained. "You investigated Ishigaki alone."
Another pause then, and I felt Duo's heartbeat escalate.
"You saved the kids, but… You were outnumbered," Duo said. "You didn't make it home."
Meilan did not respond - but Wufei made a wounded noise, the only warning needed before I surged to my feet, scooping Duo up into my arms and then leaping backwards until I was across the room. Trowa and Quatre were beside us instantly, Quatre a half-step ahead with cerulean eyes locked on the other side of the room.
"YOU FOOLISH WOMAN! You went alone, and you– you–" Wufei had rounded on his wife, the air around him distorted with flickering heat. His words choked off with another flicker of heat, his eyes ringed with gold that shone like a smothered flame. The only mercy was that, unless you were one of us, you would never be able to tell from this distance.
"I died! You can say it, Wufei!" Meilan returned heatedly, gaze matching her husband's with equal ferocity. "I am not afraid of death! I fell in the line of duty while protecting innocents, as Nataku willed!"
It was easy to see what the Long Clan had sewn into their heir, what had made Meilan Long equally fit to bear the weight of Shenlong. Not everyone could look its vessel in the eye and declare themselves more righteous.
Wufei kicked an armchair out of the way, sending it rocketing against the furthest wall. "MEILAN!"
"WUFEI!" Meilan snarled back, equally as heated.
Duo's hand found purchase at the front of my shirt. "...Should I not have mentioned Ishigaki?" he mused under his breath, eyes trained on the sparring session now taking place in the middle of his bedroom.
"Better now than later," Trowa responded blandly, watching with detached interest as Meilan kicked Duo's tea table into Wufei's knees. "Are there any other untimely deaths we should be aware of, Your Grace?"
I flinched, clutching Duo tighter to my chest.
"No, that was it– oh wait, the King of Oz dies next year," Duo said with a jolt. "Almost forgot about him. He's killed by his concubine."
Even the death of the monarch of an enemy kingdom was not enough to distract me from his previous reveals. Trowa gave a curt nod in understanding; this would be another thing to gauge and watch out for.
After a moment, Duo pushed himself out of my hold, jumping back to his feet but remaining beside me. Although the proximity between us was only acceptable for married couples, it still did not feel close enough for me; I wanted his warmth under my hands, his breath hot against my skin to console myself with his continued existence. I wanted him in the shelter of my arms so that I could protect him against that which had taken him away from me in a future I would never allow.
"I know we are still unsure if these visions are prophetic or a result of the Duchess's mindset, but I suggest we end things here today," Quatre spoke up. "It is impossible to verify the future, after all, until it becomes the past."
"I'm not crazy," Duo grumbled.
Quatre turned to look at him, and I was relieved to see the cerulean had already bled from his eyes. "I know that," he assured Duo with a gentle smile. "However, given your amnesia, there is still a chance that the information you read in the vision could have all been things you already knew, but simply never said. When it comes down to it, Your Grace, the one with the greatest access to knowledge within the borders of this kingdom has always been you."
More than just his family, Duo had established connections within the Sanc court that reached further than both my father's and Duke Maxwell's, who were limited by their affiliations. We were claimed neutral, but our marriage had countered each other's leaning - giving Duo a stance of true neutrality that many eager nobles had looked to turn. People from all groups - imperialist, regional, and neutral - had flocked to him at every event, vying for even a crumb of his attention.
"But regardless of whatever it turns out to be, please know that you are very precious to all of us," Quatre said, stepping forward to grasp Duo's hand. He brought it up, lightly pressing his forehead to the black diamond wedding ring Duo wore - a promise of fealty. "I do not wish to repeat the tragedies of that novel."
Duo's eyes were wide, understanding the unsaid. "Quatre..."
Quatre squeezed Duo's hand in comfort before letting go, pivoting and striding across the room to put himself bodily between the two still in the midst of their match. "Wufei, Lady Meilan - if you're going to spar, please do so on the training grounds. Every item in this room costs at least double your monthly pay."
They both froze in their steps.
Quatre's smile widened. "Thank you," he said graciously, though it somehow also came across as a threat.
Deciding to let Quatre handle them, I turned to Duo. He was leaned slightly against me, and I realized just how exhausted he must be - between the emotional upheavals and the past few days of being locked away in his room to stew in his own thoughts, he looked as if he had not gotten in any rest. There was a frayed quality to him, his posture tense like he still wasn't certain that he wasn't going to be rejected or punished for imagined crimes.
I wrapped my arm around his waist and pulled him in closer. "Duo… They'll need to get things cleaned up. Would you like to stay in my room?" In my life? "Please?"
Duo leaned more into me with a sign, solid in my arms. "Heero, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."
Though late in the afternoon, there was still light out. This time we'd taken the corridors back, Quatre and Trowa having cleared the halls ahead of us so that no one could see Duo in his currently unkempt state save for those we actually trusted. Hilde had taken over the duty of cleaning up Duo's room, and Wufei and Meilan had taken their fight elsewhere to finish in private.
I trusted and loved my friend dearly, but I really could not understand how news of Meilan's possible death made him want to fight her. Just thinking about Duo's admission– I stilled a tremor in my hands, closing the door behind us as we entered my bedchambers.
Duo hesitated for a second, but then padded over to my bed. He took off his boots, then after a moment's consideration, his overrobe - leaving him in a simple silken undergarment that only accentuated his slender frame. He looked back to me, taking in my stare that soon pulled a smile to his lips, then crawled into my bed.
"Heero- come here?"
I didn't need any more encouragement. I followed him swiftly, discarding my boots and my outer garments, until I was down to the simple linen pants that lay under my attire. I climbed into the bed and took Duo into my arms once again, his head tucked under my chin. Duo pressed forward even more, until I was lying flat on my back instead of on my side, his full weight atop me, a blanket of warmth that I savored. His interlocked fingers rested against the broad plane of my chest, chin resting atop them so that we could match gazes.
"I'm alright," Duo breathed out. It was a consolation meant for me, not himself; to assure me that he was still alive, still safe. I wrapped my arms once more around his waist, tucking him securely against me and relished the feel of him.
I could have lost this. I had lost this, possibly, in a future I could not understand. Duo and I could have never reconciled, could have never met each other halfway; instead, he would have perished, afraid and alone, while I was halfway across the world none the wiser.
"I can't lose you, Duo," I said.
"You won't."
"You were in danger. You burned to death."
"I actually think I died of smoke inhalation."
I glared at him. "Duo, do not joke about this."
Duo let out a small sigh, adjusting his position; he crawled further up so that his face hovered above mine, our bodies still pressed together with his legs framing either side of my waist. "Sorry, I won't," he said, then dropped a quick kiss to the corner of my lips. "I know it's not… It's not funny. But I'm alive, and here with you, and… That's kind of all I want to think about for the rest of today."
I cupped his cheek, tracing the outline of his lips with a gentle glide of my thumb. "...A lot has happened today, so you must be worn out," I said, bringing my hand to the back of his neck to guide him down. His lips met mine in another kiss, this one long and lingering, and I felt him melt into with a low burn of heat.
"We can rest," I said against his lips. "Just let me hold you?"
Duo's smile was the most beautiful thing I'd seen in days. "Like I said before, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."
A/N: I said enough being sad!
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