Disclaimer: I don't have any rights to SGA. I'm not making any profit out of this.

Archive: sgalabrats, SGAHC, my LJ and here. Do not archive elsewhere without asking me first.

Warnings: Beware of spoilers for "The lost boys" and "Rising".

A/N: This is the second fic I started and the first I finished. Many thanks to Ellex for the beta and the title, and all the sgalabrats. They know who they are ;)


I've never been so scared in my whole life, not even when two good friends of mine died years ago in the line of duty and I thought I was next.

I don't want to let her see how scared I am. My mind tries to wander to a better, safer place, but images of another event that took place more than a year ago come up in front of me as if it was yesterday. I can't help it.

I had her in my scope. Just one more second, and she'd die. But then I moved my weapon, the scope shifting to him, and my heart sank. I didn't know him too well. Scratch that. I didn't know him. Period. There he was, my new commanding officer, kneeling before that alien being, having the life sucked out of him, his eyes asking me to do something I never thought I'd do in my life.

Now, here I am, kneeling before another alien creature, knowing she will probably start feeding on me at any moment, hoping against all hope that there will be another John Sheppard a few feet from me, with a weapon in his hands, who will see the pleading in my eyes just in time.