I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point.
I don't believe we've ever heard Hannah's last name. I called her Hannah Watkins in another story… so why not?
I think I've said this before… about a thousand times. Depending on what day you asked me, this may be my least favorite episode of the series. 3D? Pink Slip? Bo? All pretty bad for different reasons. But First Class actually stands out. BTW, if you're looking for a common denominator, all four were written by the same person.
Someone has to explain some things to me. First, the mission. We're told that Chuck's first solo assignment is to use the Intersect and retrieve some valuable intel that the Ring is smuggling out of the country. To get it past customs, they are hiding it on a corpse. Later we find that it is only a key fob, something that a customs agent wouldn't look twice at. Not to mention that the Ring doesn't have the thing that the key even opens.
Chuck gets into a fight on the plane. BTW, how do you get from the main passenger cabin of a jumbo jet into the cargo compartment which is not pressurized or heated? Anyway so Shaw tells Sarah to put the plane into a steep dive. Of course he has no way of knowing if that will help Chuck or kill him. Imagine the pilots of that plane. They just lost control of their aircraft somewhere over the Atlantic. That doesn't start an investigation with the FAA? It's barely worth mentioning that we discover out of nowhere that Sarah is a pilot who is qualified to fly a commercial jumbo jet capable of a trans-Atlantic flight… and that fact was never referenced in the show again. Another small detail that is hardly worth mentioning is that they decide that Chuck needs to come home… without seeing the Eifel Tower. So he never gets off the plane. I wonder what happened to the poor schmuck who booked that seat six weeks ago on Expedia and forked over $11,837 for it.
Are you with me so far?
For the past several episodes, it was established that Chuck is pining for Sarah and trying to fix the damage he caused in Prague to maybe get back in her good graces. Here she is, standing in front of him broken, all emotional, fighting back tears, pleading with him to please not go on this dangerous mission and instead follow her back to her hotel room for some extended makeup sex (okay, I made that last part up). Not only does he gloat in her face about the fact that he is going, he comes home with a new girl.
And the girl. She is a Buy More type worker. Yet her boss regularly flies her, first class, to Paris, to install some network equipment. I wasn't kidding earlier. I just looked it up. A round trip first class ticket from LAX to Paris costs $11,837. Whoever this boss is, I strongly suspect that she's providing him more service than just installing his network equipment.
I could even overlook all of the silliness in the plot. You have to suspend a major portion of disbelief to watch the show in the first place. Here is my core problem. If you came into this episode still rooting for this couple, this is the point where you're almost forced to ask yourself why. And for me anyway, once you stop rooting for them to get together, there is very little reason to keep watching. In fact, why do you even like this jerk, Chuck Bartowski anymore? Why would TPTB go to such lengths to make their main character so unlikeable… well, the only reason I can think of is that they wanted you to stop watching. If that was their goal, they succeeded admirably. Millions gave them their wish. Of course they blamed that on the change to Daylight Savings Time. Luckily for the other seasons we never changed to DST… oh wait.
I would still appreciate your comments. Maybe you have a point of view that makes this better that I'm overlooking.
The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything.
First Class
x-x-x-x-x
Sarah was involved in her new favorite activity. She was watching Chuck sleep. He looked so peaceful… so perfect. She couldn't help but reach over and gently kiss him. She was surprised when he kissed back.
Chuck didn't open his eyes. He really didn't fully open his mouth so his words were more like a mumble. "Again?" he asked. "Could we maybe get a cup of coffee first? I've lost count. You really are insatiable."
Naturally that got Sarah laughing. "You're making it sound like a chore," she said. "You can relax. Actually, the thought of sex isn't sounding all that attractive right now to me either. Fair warning… that's a temporary thing. It could change at any time. I have two long, frustrating years to make up. I'd rest while you can."
Now Chuck did open his eyes. "That was quite an engagement night performance," he teased with a grin. "Almost makes me afraid of what our wedding night is going to be like."
That got them both laughing. "You're wise to be afraid," Sarah teased. "We have to get you in game shape. Last night was just a warm up."
"Would it make me sound jealous if I asked where you learned some of those things?" Chuck asked.
Sarah was still laughing. "Actually, it would make you sound a lot jealous," she teased. "Normally, that would concern me but I'm going to give you a pass today… since you're so cute. I've sat in the van watching Carina in action on surveillance for a couple of years. I've seen things you wouldn't believe… things that defy description… things I never thought I'd be in a position to try. Last night was the tip of the iceberg."
"That's good to know," Chuck said sarcastically. "Now I'm sorry that I asked."
Sarah just snuggled into him. "Can I ask you a question?" she asked. Without waiting for permission, she quickly continued. "Sweetie, I'm not trying to start anything. This is bothering me. I just really want to know. Why was the thing about my name such a big deal to you? I mean, you just watched a horrible tape of me on my knees with a mark. That didn't seem to bother you. Don't get me wrong. I'm happy and relieved about that. But it almost seemed too easy. The 'name' thing seems almost trivial compared to that. And yet, I can see that it still bothers you. Why?"
Chuck paused for a long moment. "It's complicated," he finally said. "This is something that we need to talk about sometime. It might get heavy. Are you sure that you want to get into it now?"
Sarah was surprised by the seriousness in his voice. "Yes," she said. "Let's get everything on the table."
"I didn't get this myself," Chuck started. "It was actually Carina who explained a lot of it to me. Our relationship is on two levels… almost two separate relationships. You're the great, larger than life, Agent Walker. I was your asset. When I first met you, all you allowed me to see was pure Agent Walker. But little by little, I got glimpses of Sarah, the person underneath. I really liked Sarah. I wanted to know more about her. You fought me on that… but eventually you couldn't hide her. I quickly fell in love with her. I pined for her for two years and sometimes acted like a baby… pining for something that you simply couldn't give me. So maybe I understand that better now."
Chuck paused to take a deep breath. "Let's face it," he continued. "The only way for us to be together with our current circumstance is as spies. So I became Agent Bartowski. I'm your spy partner. We're only going to be able to be Chuck and Sarah when we're alone. Right now, my feelings about Agent Walker are mixed. She's a great spy, a great partner, larger than life. She's taught me so much… not to mention that she saves my life about once a day. But I've seen her do horrible things. I'm not judging her, that's her job. As long as we remain spies, I'm going to continue seeing those things. And she's going to see me do things that horrify her. It's not always going to be easy, but for this to work, we have to be able to separate the two relationships. So I didn't see my fiancée, Sarah on that tape. That would have devastated me. I saw Agent Walker on a legitimate infiltration assignment protecting her cover. Frankly, that's not the worst thing I've seen Agent Walker do. I have no right to hold anything that happens on an assignment against Sarah. Sarah would never do anything like that. She's actually pretty conservative when it comes to those things… or I thought so until last night anyway."
Chuck paused for a long moment. "I'm always going to be very jealous of Sarah," he admitted. "I hope that's not going to be an issue for us. Mostly because I see the way men look at her. I don't think she gets how beautiful she really is. And it was Sarah who wouldn't tell me her real name. Applying that logic to our current situation, Agent Shaw and Agent Walker getting together at a bar to discuss intel doesn't bother me at all… and if it ever does, that's my issue to deal with. Daniel and Sarah on the way to becoming a couple, expensive gifts, couple's massages, going dancing, dinner in his apartment, second base necking, and his having her dress half off is always going to bother me. Shaw knowing your name was the kicker. He was getting something personal so easily that I had been denied… and that hurts. So maybe I misunderstood some of the details about the name thing. I'm sorry that I over-reacted. But does this make sense?"
Sarah nodded. "It makes sense," she said. "I guess I never thought of myself as two different people, but I see your point. In hindsight I'm sorry those things with Daniel happened. We were never going to become a couple… not like you're saying anyway. We came pretty close to hooking up for a while. I had mentally decided to let it happen. That was a tough spot for me. No matter what you saw with Giles, I don't sleep around. But I was alone and hurting… here was this good looking guy who I admired professionally… I was leaving town in a few days anyway… and, last but not least, I hadn't had sex with anyone except myself in over two years. But that's all it was ever going to be… and I even chickened out on that. I have to be honest. If I saw a tape of Agent Bartowski on his knees with another woman 'protecting his cover' I'm not sure I could separate it as well as you are. I'm probably going to be as jealous as you are, if not more. The truth is, you're being more mature about this than I am. I'm very proud of you. I'm embarrassed that I'm surprised. It's just today's example of why you're perfect."
"I'll be honest," Chuck said. "I'm hardly perfect. Let's put everything on the table. All things considered, I'm proud to be a spy. We're making sacrifices for the greater good. Personally, I like the power that the Intersect gives me. I'm even prouder of you. You've been a badass for ten years… all you… no Intersect. You've made the world a better place. Having said all that, this is temporary for me. I want us to become Chuck and Sarah full time as soon as we possibly can… probably a lot sooner than you do. That means finding some other way to make a living. Someday, we're going to have to talk about that. For now, it's not going to be possible. Until then I'm not going to give up a single second that I get to be with Sarah. That's the most important thing in my life and I'm going to guard it fanatically. So if Agent Shaw gives Agent Walker a legitimate order tomorrow, I'll be fine. If I sense that Daniel Shaw is hitting on Sarah, I'm going to step in and the Intersect is going to convince him to stop."
Sarah paused for a moment. "I understand," she said. "Sweetie, you're dead wrong about something. For some reason, you don't seem to get this. I'm going to keep saying it until you do. You don't want us to be full time Chuck and Sarah any more or any faster than I do. Please stop worrying about that. I get that I've been reluctant to talk about it. Some things, like having babies, still scare me… but mostly in a good, exciting way. The only things we have to work out are the details of how it happens. I'm honestly surprised that you're surprised. Exactly what did you think I meant when I asked you to run away with me? I don't want to watch Agent Bartowski do uncomfortable things any more than you want to see Agent Walker. Okay, so right now we're over a barrel a little. We have serious flaws as spies. In fact, we're violating the first rule. We're in love. That's a weakness that can, and probably will, be exploited. It won't take Beckman long to think of it. If this gets too hard, I'm still prepared to run."
Sarah paused for a moment. "But there is some good news here," she continued. "The reality is that you're the most powerful man in the world. Everybody thinks that I'm the secret in making you effective. Beckman needs us. That means, within reason and as long as we don't overplay it, we're going to be calling the shots. I don't see any more 'drug lord sex toy' assignments in our future. I'm going to insist that we get plenty of time to be Chuck and Sarah."
Chuck didn't answer. He just nodded.
"Let's get this out in the open," Sarah sighed. "I think you're right about something. I do fully expect Agent Shaw to try and collect what he thinks I promised him. That's how men like him think. I don't expect he'll be impressed by an engagement ring. For the record, I wouldn't tolerate him hitting on me any more than you would. I'm not asking you to tolerate it. I'm engaged… to my soul mate… a wonderful guy who is far too good for me. I'm looking forward to our life together. All I would ask is, if it happens, you'll give me a chance to shut it down before you step in. We need to pick our battles. Hopefully I can insist that he stay professional without it turning into a fight. If we make it a fight, we could win the battle and lose the war. If we're not prepared to run, there are only so many times we can fight them until they figure out some other way to control us. So I'm asking you to count to ten, put up with the occasional smarmy double entendre, and trust me to handle this. Agreed? Please?"
Chuck sighed. "Agreed," he finally said.
"I love you, Chuck."
That finally got a smile. "Wow," Chuck said. "Two times in two days. You must really be freaked out by this."
"I'm not freaked out by this," Sarah protested. "That's not it. You're wrong about that. Daniel Shaw is ultimately irrelevant… an unpleasant circumstance we have to work through. If this is the worst thing we have to deal with, we'll be lucky. Don't get me wrong. I expect that he will use being in charge to manipulate our assignments to take his shot. We really don't have a way to protest a valid assignment… and he knows it. Again, please count to ten. Trust me. If he pushes me too far, he will regret it. The Intersect could kick his ass. I might enjoy seeing that. But I have weapons too. If he forces me to confront him, I have years of practice being hit on by men like him. I know exactly what words they hate to hear. So here's the truth. I'm new at this. I'm in love for the first time in my life. I'm surprised that I find I like saying it to you. It makes me feel good. I'm sorry now that it took me so long. Our circumstance is hard enough. You put up with things that no man should have to put up with. And yet here I am, standing here asking you for even more of that. I'm so sorry. If I think about it much more I'm going to start bawling. You don't need my stupid hang-ups making it harder. I'm going to work on that. Regularly telling you how much I love you seems like the least I can do."
That got Chuck grinning. "I like hearing it," he said. "Please don't start bawling."
"I love you too."
x-x-x-x-x
Normally, Chuck would have been beyond excited. He always got a kick out of flying First Class… was constantly fiddling with the lights and fans like the nerd… well, that he was. Not only that, they were going to Paris. It was one of his bucket list dreams to see the Eifel Tower.
Not today. He was snoring into Sarah's shoulder before they even left the gate.
"Fuck," Carina said, drawing out the word to about five seconds. "What did you do to him anyway?"
Normally, Sarah would have come up with a biting retort. Not today. She was in far too good of a mood. "He's tired," was all she said… with words. Her grin spoke volumes.
Of course sitting next to Carina was the human antidote for a good mood. "I'm surprised that Bartowski is taking the situation this well," Casey grumbled. "Tell me. Did you make a tape? It's something that I hear you're very good at."
Sarah shot a look at her best friend. And indeed, Carina's face was pretty red. "It was in the report," she explained.
Sarah turned her glare back to Casey. "We made tons of tapes," she said sarcastically. "Various angles… lots of different positions… some close ups. Chuck says that amateur porn is a hobby of his. He tells me that I'm a natural. He'd like us to go pro someday. Maybe you should watch them. I'll bet a lot that you could use all the pointers you can get."
"No thanks," Casey grumbled. "I doubt that Bartowski could teach me anything. Tell me about our new boss. How is he in the sack? I'll watch that tape."
All Sarah could see was red for a long moment. All she needed was for Casey to have new weapons to poke at Chuck. Now her look directed at her best friend was like twin lasers… the kind that could cut through steel. "That sure wasn't in the fucking report," she growled.
Carina's face was redder than ever. Knowing that Sarah was pissed, she held her tongue.
Sarah stared at Carina for a long, uncomfortable moment. Finally, she turned back to Casey. "I don't have a tape," she said. "I don't know what he's like. Maybe you can find out and include it in the report. I don't know if he swings that way, but it wouldn't hurt to ask. If you do decide to make a tape, maybe Chuck can produce it for you. If it's all the same to you, I'll decline watching it. The things you could teach me, I really don't want to learn. No offense."
At least that shut Casey up. He turned back to look out the window. Chuck plainly wasn't sleeping as soundly as he appeared because Sarah could feel him snickering. This conversation with Carina was not over… by a long shot. But Chuck knew exactly what he was doing. It was hard to stay mad for long with him kissing her neck and laughing in her ear approvingly.
"And you don't think that you're funny."
x-x-x-x-x
Sarah was barely listening to the briefing. She was too busy worrying about Chuck. At first, he was fine. On the limo ride from the airport they actually caught a glimpse of the Eifel Tower between the buildings. That had him giddy. He was more than cute pleading to make some time to go see it up close before they went home.
Unfortunately, that ended once they arrived at the American Embassy and were inside the conference room. For one thing, the inside of the windowless conference room in Paris looked exactly like the inside of every other conference room in the world. The look on his face clearly said that he instantly perceived Daniel Shaw as a threat. And as wrong as he was, it didn't really matter. She could tell him until she was blue in the face… he would still worry.
Of course Shaw didn't help matters any with the way he leered at her… much like a hungry wolf would look at a stray lamb. That's when Sarah decided she needed to snap out of it. This was a serious assignment. Maybe he wasn't her asset anymore but Chuck needed Agent Walker at her best. Being distracted got you killed. So she forced herself to look at the picture on the monitor.
"This is Sven Roberts," Shaw said. "He is believed to be in the higher echelon of the Ring leadership, perhaps even the Director. We need to be able to prove that."
Carina turned to him. "Are we surveilling him?" she asked.
Shaw just shook his head. "It's not that easy, Agent Miller," he said. "Mr. Roberts is a respected businessman. He's far too savvy to use any sort of communication that we can monitor. We'll have to get close to him some other way. This is vital."
Sarah could already see where this was going. Fortunately, Carina was sitting right there. She would be the logical choice for any seduction related infiltration. The past month proved that rather conclusively. After her recent rather famous fuck-up, Agent Walker wasn't likely to get anywhere close to that kind of assignment… ever again. She was a perfectionist… but this was one time when admitting failure didn't hurt much.
But Shaw wasn't finished. He pressed a button and another face popped up on the screen. "Fortunately, fate has presented us with a gift," he said. "We just caught a huge break. This is Hannah Watkins. She actually works in the Los Angles Buy More. About once a month, Roberts asks for her specifically, flies her to Paris First Class, and asks her to hook up some network equipment in one of his warehouses. We've arranged for her to have serious technical issues on this trip. Our resident expert, Chuck Bartowski is going to show up and help her out… and invite her to dinner."
Well, that got Chuck's attention. "How's that going to help us?" he asked.
Shaw's smirk contained little humor. "Think about it," he said. "A round trip first class ticket from L.A. to Paris costs more than eleven thousand dollars. Surely, the lovely Miss Watkins is doing more for Mr. Roberts than simply connecting some cat-5 cables."
Chuck shook his head. "We use cat-6 now," he said vacantly. "If what you're inferring is correct, won't she be busy with Roberts? Why would she go to dinner with me?"
Shaw's grin didn't fade. "Roberts isn't in Paris," he said. "He very rarely leaves L.A. The trips to Paris are plainly a reward for a job well done… if you get my meaning."
Chuck couldn't help the red that was clearly running up his neck. "What am I supposed to do with her?" he asked.
Shaw looked at Chuck like he had grown a second head. "Get close to her," he said… as if it was obvious. "This should be easy… even for you. She's a nerd like you. You're together in the most romantic city in the world. She's lonely. You're lonely. We want you to be regularly dating when we get back to L.A. We can use that to get to Roberts. Do whatever is the nerd equivalent of wining and dining. Agent Walker and I will double with you at dinner to make sure it goes okay."
Maybe Carina was still feeling guilty from the plane. Maybe she was being a team lead. Maybe she was just protective of her friend. Whatever the reason, she spoke up. "I don't think that's a good idea," she said. "I'll go as your date."
Shaw shook his head. "Agent Walker and I have experience as a couple," he said. "In fact, this will be our third date. Isn't that right, Sam? Besides, if this goes south, can you do whatever it takes to make him flash?"
Chuck looked around. He had to admit, his new fiancé had predicted everything bang on so far. Hopefully, he'd be able to hear her shut him down. If she was going to be as brutal as she claimed, that might be a little fun. Not to mention that he now had his own problems. The last thing he wanted was to have to ask a strange woman out to dinner. Actually, Sarah's pleading look struck him as more funny than anything. So he shook his head and muttered under his breath.
"This is going to be a fucking trapezoid."
x-x-x-x-x
