I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point.
The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything.
Coming Clean
x-x-x-x-x
Ellie sat in her cell deep in thought. This Shaw dickhead was definitely playing hardball. She had just gotten back from her arraignment. At least that was in public. So she got to see Devon for a few minutes. Ellie had never heard of the attorney that was with him, but Devon assured her that he was the very best.
The lawyer assured her that she would soon be out on bond. He argued passionately for his client to be released on her own recognizance. After all, she was a respected doctor, had no previous convictions, and wasn't a flight risk. Unfortunately, Shaw was ready for him. As it turned out, the Patriot Act allowed anyone who might pose a national security risk to be held indefinitely without bond. Even worse, he didn't have to even present any evidence of a national security risk, claiming it was classified.
Finally, her lawyer told Ellie the bad news. In today's political environment, the government had almost unlimited powers and if they wanted badly enough, the civil protections in the Constitution ceased to exist.
So here she was, all alone in an isolated cell, deep inside Castle. Even worse, that Shaw dickhead was taunting her… kept telling her how beautiful she was, how she was teasing him, and if something were to happen between them, who would be believed? A highly respected agent with a boatload of commendations? Or a drug running doctor who would say anything to get out of trouble? He told her that she had better come up with something before he couldn't hold himself back any longer.
Naturally, Ellie did know something. And it was maybe enough to get her out of this. No, she didn't know where Chuck and Sarah were. But she did know who did. The problem was, giving up Carina would cause more problems than it solved. Not only would it expose Chuck and Sarah… who knew what they would do with Carina? It was the classic rock and hard place dilemma.
For now anyway, it was just better to sit in the cell, keep her big mouth shut, hope that the dickhead was bluffing, and pray for something to change.
x-x-x-x-x
It had been a long day… very long. They had been silent for entire boat ride back to the cay. Finally, Chuck couldn't bear the silence any longer. "Thank you for not saying 'I told you so'," he said. "I'm sorry that you got hurt. I… I just don't want to kill people."
Sarah looked at him for a long while… with mixed emotions. Here was the nicest man in the world apologizing for not wanting to kill people. It was good that he didn't want to kill people… his biggest strength. He wasn't a spy… not in the way she defined it anyway… and he really never would be. That was a good thing.
On the other hand, he lived in a spy's world. It was really only a matter of time. Drug runners weren't about to sit around and allow someone to steal hundreds of millions of their dollars before they did something about it, especially when they had a good description. So even though Sarah changed their appearance as much as possible each time, it was very predictable that they would eventually walk into a trap.
There were twenty men, armed to the teeth waiting for them. Their preference was to take them alive. And that meant it was a battle for a few minutes. A normal spy couple would have been quickly overwhelmed and captured. Right about now they would be in the middle of the typical torture and gang rape session that served as revenge in the drug runner culture. When they were finally allowed to die it would be a relief.
Of course these particular drug runners had never heard of the Intersect. Sure, that could also be said of better classes of people. But it saved the day this time. Unfortunately, even with the Intersect, Chuck had his hands full for a while. And that meant Sarah was facing more men than she could realistically fight and took a few punches until he could get to her. It wasn't all that big of a deal. Sarah had certainly been in tougher fights than that. She also dished out far more than she took.
All in all, it wasn't all that bad. They had the ten million dollars. An ice pack for an hour or so and her jaw would be fine. Even better, fights turned her on, they always had. She'd be able to parlay his guilt into some extra-long pampering. That might be fun. "I know, sweetie," she said. "We're going to have to lay low for a while."
Maybe Chuck was still a little freaked out about the unexpected battle and on edge. Maybe Sarah was thinking a little too much about her impending pampering. Whatever the root cause, Chuck was the first to notice the man in the black mission outfit darting along the tree line. It was unbelievable how quick the Intersect made him. In the blink of an eye he was standing in front of their uninvited guest.
Foolishly, the man assumed a defensive position and tried to fight. Normally Chuck would have just knocked him unconscious with a kick to the side of head. But he wasn't in the best mood to begin with. Being tracked back to their private hideout was very, very bad news. It probably meant they would have to go back on the run… maybe yet tonight. He knew that he'd have to allow Sarah to use her interrogation skills to find out what this guy knew. That could probably get messy. So the first couple of blows were designed mostly to take the fight out of him. The first kick, directly under his diaphragm, accomplished that. The second kick to the side of the jaw probably wasn't even absolutely necessary. He was already defenseless trying to breathe. It was mostly just to work out some frustration. But there was also some physics involved. Nobody, no matter how badass, was going to remain standing after taking that blow. Chuck quickly had him in a painful submission hold.
Finally Sarah arrived on the scene. Chuck couldn't figure out why she was grinning. Didn't she realize what someone finding them meant? Was she actually laughing? Then Sarah cleared up his confusion and pulled off 'his' mask. A bunch of dark brown hair came flowing out. "Chuck," she said. "I'd like you to meet my ex-partner, Zondra."
"Zondra, this is my new husband, Chuck."
x-x-x-x-x
Chuck felt horrible. Sarah hadn't talked about Zondra much. Actually, Sarah didn't talk about anything in her past much. Carina had talked about her more than Sarah did. But he did know that she and Carina were Sarah's closest friends. She was just as gorgeous in her own way. And here she was, sitting on their couch with an ice pack on her jaw, courtesy of his vicious kick. Her eyes were still a little glassy.
"Fuck," Zondra finally said, drawing out the word to about twenty syllables just like Carina always did. She was gingerly testing her teeth to make sure they were all still intact. "Nice kick. Did Blondie teach you that? It's her favorite move."
If Sarah was upset with him, she was hiding it really well. In fact, she looked like she was fighting a case of the giggles.
Zondra was plainly on the road to full recovery because she turned to her 'friend' with the hint of a smile. "Carina was right," she said. "He's not your type at all. Don't we have anything to drink in this fancy fucking place?"
Chuck was about done hearing that he wasn't Sarah's type. It pissed him off. So his response was a notch harsher then it normally would have been. "Why would you come here and sneak around dressed like that?" he asked. Don't you know that we're on high alert? I could have killed you."
Sarah was still grinning. "He totally could have," she added. "You were flat on your back waiting for whatever he was going to do next… not an unusual position for you."
Chuck shot a glance at his wife. He was still pretty pissed. "And while we're on the subject," he continued. "Fuck Sarah's type. From what I've heard, they're a group of macho pretty boy morons who think more with their dicks than their brains."
Zondra ignored Chuck and turned to Sarah. "Feisty," she said. "I like that. But I'm surprised that you do. Still, anyone who could get the 'Ice Queen' willingly in bed more than once must have some 'special' talent. Maybe this is something I have to experience. Do you share?"
That got Sarah laughing. She handed Zondra the bottle of tequila that she had fetched from the kitchen and indicated Chuck with a flip of her head. "His talent is amazing," she said. "It's world class. I can guarantee that you've never experienced anything like it. I don't usually share but what the hell? We were roommates for a long time so I'll make an exception. You don't mind if I watch, do you? Take your best shot."
All Chuck could do was stand there with the confused look on his face as the two friends laughed at their, obviously inside, joke.
Zondra took a long pull from the bottle. Then she pulled at the zipper of her mission outfit and it was quickly pooled on the floor. "I'm going for a swim," she announced. "That beach is calling my name. Are you coming?"
Sarah laughed and shook her head at her, suddenly naked, friend. "Maybe later," she said. "Chuck can go if he wants."
"Fair enough," Zondra said. "Chuck? What do you say? It would be a good opportunity to impress me. Hopefully your package is up to Sarah's high standards."
Chuck's head was spinning. Normally Sarah would have freaked out at the idea of a naked beautiful woman so obviously hitting on him. Both Sarah and Carina could have been models or actresses. But Zondra clearly had the best body. She obviously was proud of it as she was making absolutely no effort to cover anything. He knew that if he spoke, it would come out as a squeak. So he just shook his head.
"Fair enough," Zondra said. "I'll see it later. By the way, you were right about her type… a bunch of fucking idiots… each one more stupid than the previous one… but they all had good packages."
"There is nothing wrong with his package," Sarah said, still laughing. "In fact, it's pretty impressive. But it's what he can do with it that is really amazing. You'll see. Before you go, care to tell us what the fuck you're doing here? You didn't come all this way and take a humiliating ass kicking just for the chance to use our beach and check out my new husband."
Zondra's eyes lit up and she nodded. "That was just an added bonus," she said.
"I have a message from Carina."
x-x-x-x-x
It was an odd reaction. Chuck was pissed at Zondra's news. Even that was understatement. It was more like 'throwing things around the room' livid. Sarah was sadly quiet and introspective. It was normally exactly the opposite.
"That fucking Shaw," Chuck ranted. "I really hate that guy. We have to figure out a way to go and kill him."
Chuck responded to Sarah's look. "Yeah, I know," he said. "I'm against killing people. I'm making an exception."
Sarah turned her sad eyes toward her husband and found her voice. "I'm afraid that killing Shaw wouldn't help Ellie," she said. "And okay, I hate him too. But in this case he really hasn't done anything wrong. It's what spies do."
This time it was Sarah's turn to respond to Chuck's surprised look. "I'm embarrassed," she said. "We should have seen something like this coming."
Sarah paused for a long moment before continuing. "There was a time when I would have done the same exact thing," she said. "I still would under the right circumstances. So if you hate Shaw for being a good spy…"
Chuck allowed her point to hang in the air while he tried to figure out what she meant. "Why don't I hate you?" he finally finished. "That's what you're saying."
Again, Sarah paused for a long moment. "Chuck, please," she said. "I'll do anything you want. I just can't go back to the way it was."
Chuck did a double take. He couldn't believe she would go there. All he could see was red. "You're kidding, right?" he asked hotly. "Aren't we way past this? You say that you'll do anything? How about a little fucking trust?"
He didn't wait for her to respond. "I'm going down to the beach and keep our new guest company," he said.
"Come and find me when you're ready to have an honest conversation."
x-x-x-x-x
Sarah knew that she had to give him a minute to cool off. When she finally walked out there, he was sitting on the beach looking out at the water. She noticed that he intentionally wasn't looking where Zondra was swimming her laps, not that you could see anything anyway. She sat next to him. "Please don't be mad at me," she said. "You know that I hate that."
Chuck didn't give in. "I'm not mad at you," he insisted. "Not even a little bit. I'm disappointed in you. You're not being honest with me."
Sarah didn't answer for a long moment. "That's even worse," she finally said sadly. "Chuck, I'm trying my best. Look at it from my perspective. You're sweet and you're perfect and I'm not the kind of girl you deserve. I'm just not. You've seen things that would drive most men away in disgust. There are way more things you haven't seen and don't know about that are even worse. They keep coming up at exactly the wrong time. So, yeah, I'm insecure about us. Trust is hard for me… especially in the way you mean."
Chuck sighed. "I feel like we've had this discussion about a thousand times," he said. "We'll have it a thousand more if you need to. I get that I devastated you in Prague. We have to get over that. It wasn't me rejecting you because you were a spy. It was exactly the opposite. I was trying to deserve you. That was stupid. So listen to me and hear what I'm saying to you. I've watched you kill people. I don't care. I've watched you fuck people. I don't care. I get that you've done lots of things that I don't know about that would sound horrible. Sarah, listen to me. I don't care. I knew what I was getting from day one. I'm getting a great deal. So I want you to stop trying to be what you think I deserve. Whatever that is, it's probably pretty boring. I want you to be Sarah Walker, the larger than life badass who I fell in love and am going to grow old with."
Sarah had probably never needed to hear anything like she needed to hear that. She sided into him lovingly. "I'm sorry that I didn't trust you enough," she said. "I'll probably need to hear that, maybe not a thousand more times, but from time to time. I'm ready to start letting some of that go if you'll let me."
"Permission granted," Chuck said.
And there it was… the very best part of Sarah's life. He could always make her laugh. It came out pretty wet and changed the mood.
"Let's start at the beginning," Chuck said. "Tell me the truth about you and Bryce. I saw you kissing in my bedroom that time. That wasn't two partners on a hookup."
Sarah looked at him for a long moment. "I suppose not," she finally said. "I've never lied to you about Bryce. Most all of our sex was directly after a mission or when we were bored. I used it to control him and as a reward when he did what I wanted. But I've probably left out some details. I almost always enjoyed it. Sometimes I was even the initiator. If you're asking me to explain what happened in your bedroom that time, I'm afraid that I can't. I knew it was stupid and sending the wrong message while he was kissing me. I don't know why I kissed back. I'm sorry that you saw it. But I did care for Bryce. You saw how devastated I was when he was killed. But I was never in love with him. He was never in love with me. We were never going to be more than what we were. It's night a day from what we have."
Chuck nodded. "Shaw?" he asked. "What really happened? Diamond earrings cost a mint."
"I never lied to you," Sarah insisted. "Daniel Shaw was after a conquest. He was putting on the full court press. He knew that I was vulnerable. But we were never going to be a couple. My attraction was purely physical. I do think he's good looking. When I went to his apartment that night, I had every intention of giving him his conquest and repeatedly fuck his brains out. I chickened out and left before that happened. I've told you all that. But I probably left out the part where he had my dress mostly off and was slobbering on my chest for a long time. When his hand slid into my panties, it got too real."
Chuck smiled. "You right," he said. "You did leave that part out. Thank you for setting the record straight. Now for the big thing. Tell me the truth. Are you ready to stop being a spy and start raising a family?"
"I've never lied to you about that," Sarah said. "The honest truth is that I want it more than you do. If you want complete honesty, if this was up to me, I'd wait a couple of years. But you want it now. So that's fine with me."
"We can wait a couple of years," Chuck said. "I'm fine with that."
Sarah was already shaking her head. "I don't want you to do that for me," she protested.
Chuck put his arm around her. "You're not listening to me," he said. "This is what I want. We need to get it out of our system. We still have plenty of time for the messy diapers. I'm going to have fun going to parties with the most beautiful woman in the world on my arm, wearing next to nothing. What I don't want is all of the other nonsense… the seduction assignments."
Sarah nodded. "I agree," she said. "That would be too hard. We're past that being acceptable… for both of us."
"Do you really think we could have it all?" Chuck asked. "If we went to Beckman and told her the honest truth? This is what we're willing to do and what we're not willing to do? Would she go for it?"
Sarah considered the question. "I'm not sure," she said. "I think she might. Two years of having an Intersect in her holster would be huge. We can ask. She might try and negotiate with us. That would be the quickest way to get Ellie free. If we try and break her out of Castle, that will get messy."
"We'll do it," Chuck said. "What do we have to lose? Now for the really hard question. Why are you pushing your ex-roommate at me? Normally, my seeing a naked beautiful woman would send you on a five state killing spree."
That got Sarah laughing. "So," she said. "You think that she's beautiful?"
Sarah quickly responded to his look. "I'm just teasing you, sweetie," she said. "Actually, you're not the Bartowski that she is hoping to get naked."
Sarah couldn't help but laugh as Chuck finally got what she was saying. "Zondra has had a major crush on me since the day we met," she said. "If you haven't figured this out yet, she plays for the other team."
Chuck's head was still spinning. "Have you ever?" he asked before trailing off awkwardly.
That got Sarah laughing again. "Have we ever fucked?" she teased. "Eww. For the two years we were rooming, whenever she was drinking, which were most nights, I had to peal her hand off my ass and sometimes my chest at some point. It was always more cute than annoying. It got to be a running joke between us. It's probably going to happen sometime tonight. If you're interested I could probably get us both involved."
Chuck looked at her skeptically. "Very funny," he said. "Like that is something you would want. If that was a test, I think I just passed."
"It wasn't a test," Sarah said, now honestly offended. "It was an honest offer. And no, I have no burning desire to have it happen. But I'd make myself get into it. That is something I'd willingly do for you. Part of me even wants you to take me up on it. It would be showing you how intensely I feel about you when I don't have the words. Maybe we'll even learn something. We were willing to do anything with Carina in Castle that day. She was definitely going to get around to you watching us going at it and the three of us engaged in some way. Why would this be all that different? It wouldn't be spy training. It would just be for fun. You and Carina together would actually bother me. Zondra might be the only woman on the planet who I could watch you with and not go nuts. Trust me, I wouldn't have to ask her twice. She would be very grateful. It might even be good for her. The problem would be her incessant begging for a repeat. We role play and act out each other's fantasies all the time. Why is this different?"
Chuck shook his head. "That's not the kind of thing that I want you to do for me," he said. "Involving other people is different. It's something you can't undo. I'm afraid it might bother you more than you think. It's not worth it."
That got Sarah smiling again. "I know," she said. "Any other man I've ever known would already be naked and calling her out of the water. You're sort of a perfect husband. That's something you'll never ask for. I get that. But do you think that I don't know you well enough to see that you're excited about the possibility? The open offer is still on the table. I promise that it would be fine. Anytime you want to take me up on it, it would sure make Zondra happy."
Chuck needed to change the subject. But first he needed to set the record straight. "Thinking something is exciting, and actually wanting it to happen are two different things," he said.
"Let's go deal with Ellie."
x-x-x-x-x
