This song is by Rascal Flatts. I am currently in love with them and half the songs on this cd make me think of Luke and Lorelai.
A Home part 2: Pieces
On the nights when he's not working, because of Caesar's insistence that he is human and needs a break or one of Taylor's crazy festivals that takes his customers to the nearest falafel stand, he sits in his beloved old chair as usual; in his hands however, instead of a beer, is a small piece of worn paper. He'll stare at it for hours, reading it over and over again, not that he couldn't recite it by heart now. He feels the flimsy paper with his finger tips, the ink faded, he fears the day that this memory will become nothing but a scrap that could quickly be thrown out. Despite its age he can still see the handwritten script, so totally Lorelai, that just looking at it makes it feel like she is sitting next to him. The way the letters are looped, thoughtful, even in the haste and caffeine withdrawal it was written in, the words look well thought out and planned.
From
the moment that we met
my world was turned around
Upside down
The memory of that day is etched into his mind. The familiar sounds of a diner's rush, the heavy smells of food cooking in heart clogging grease are a daily presence in his life and have been for many years. This day began as they all did, until a young woman with stunning blues eyes and rich brown curls walked through his door. He hadn't even noticed her at first, he remembers that the most because how could he have not noticed her. When she interrupted him and begged for coffee he thought her annoying, rude and selfish; couldn't this woman see he was busy? It wasn't until the fourth time she asked for his birthday that he looked up and saw her, the woman that would change his life forever. She was beautiful and the absolute zest for life he saw in her eyes made him answer her question, no matter how strange he thought it was.
As she handed him the horoscope, their fingers touched briefly and though Luke Danes was not a man to believe in such electricity between two people, he felt a rush of warmth shoot through his body. After he has read her simple words and served Lorelai Gilmore the very first cup of Luke's coffee she would ever have, he watches her leave with a heavy heart, knowing someone like her would never be his.
To
some degree I still regret
my memory for keeping you around
When he realizes that he has been sitting there for too long, he places the piece of paper back into its place in his wallet. Out the window he can see that the town has closed up, all activity of the day suspended until tomorrow when the residents of the sleepy town will wake up and get on with their lives. For a town that sees little change, everyday brings something new, a baby born, a couple wed, people moving in and out, families making new memories. Luke sighs when he thinks of how even Stars Hollow moves on, when he cannot.
He wishes he could forget her, just erase her from his memory. Vaguely he remembers a movie they watched together about a man whose ex-girlfriend has had all memories of him removed and while having her removed from his struggles to keep them. Then it was just another weird movie she talked him into seeing, today he wishes that he could be the person who has their memories sun-shined away.
Girl
I thought that you were mine
But my broken heart's been
shattered
One too many times
and I don't want to see you
anymore
I'm just not that strong
He wishes above all else to forget the last memory he has of talking to her. She had slept with Christopher and they had fought. He was angry that she would go to him so quickly after they had ended things. After all, the break wasn't forever, just for now; right? A funny phrase, 'for now'; Christopher has said it to him at the Gilmore's disastrous reunion the last time they broke up. Even then, when he needed time, he never truly thought that was true. Lorelai and he were meant to be, he knew it, she knew it and it didn't matter what Christopher or Emily had known, it wasn't about them. Or at least that is what he told himself the night he knocked on her door and kissed her, just wanting to hold her again.
Now he knows that no matter what she had said or how they had felt, they were the ones who were wrong. Neither one was particularly great when it came to relationships but they thought this time it would be different, this time they'd have it. There was always jealousy and secrets and nothing would change that.
It was over, for good, when she told him about Christopher. Never would that leave his mind, never would he forget that, they could never move forward after she had been with him and his anger clouded over his pain, the things he said to her that night he regrets most because he'd do anything just to see her again.
I'm
certain that I've given and oh how you can take
There's no use in
you looking
There's nothing left for you to break
Baby please
release me
Let my heart rest in pieces
Someone let you down
again
So you turn to me
Your convenient friend
Oh but I know
what you're doing
And what you hope to find
I've seen it a
thousand times
Bringing up the past was never a good idea; all the things he had done for her in the name of friendship that nights were ammunition. When he was there for her and Rory, comforting her after Christopher had hurt her again even though they were fighting, fixing whatever she needed, holding her before as she cried about her inn, investing in that dream, reassuring her that she was a good mother when things were going awry with the younger Lorelai. His heart had told him to stop as she cried, it told him to reach out to her and tell her everything was okay, but as usual Luke Danes' pride took over. He ripped her apart and left her in the middle of her yard, on her knees crying underneath the chuppah he had built for her to marry another man.
He walked away and didn't turn back. He could hear her sobs and Babette rushing out to see what was going on but he kept walking, knowing that if he stopped he'd never make it back to his apartment before he started crying.
Oh
the fire we had before
Are now just bitter ashes
Left scattered
on the floor
