Hey Jude
After breakfast is eaten and both are dressed for the day, Lorelai takes her son's hand and heads out the door. Today is her day off and they will walk about town and she will revel in the delight of her youngest child. The exuberant boy keeps her feeling younger than her forty-three years and the times that they have alone together are treasure to her. He bounds off ahead and though she normally shies away from such proclivities, such as exercise, she rushes after him both laughing as they make their way through the streets towards the pier below. Grabbing him from behind she picks him up and swings him around, tickling him once he has landed once again.
Hey
Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it
better
Remember to let her into your heart
then you can start
to make it better
In front of a full length mirror, she removes her shirt to examine herself. Her breasts are fuller than normal and if she touches them she feels a soft ache. Her skin glows like she's just come from a day of tanning; also soft to the touch, more so than any beauty product would make it. But what fascinates her most is the bump of taught skin where her normally svelte stomach is. She touches it, just barely at first, with her fingertips softly tracing it. She lays her palm upon it and presses… hoping to get a rise from the small human living within her. Pleasantly surprised, her body flinches a little when he returns her greeting. She smiles and for the first time in four months, maybe longer, it reaches her eyes. Her features soften as she proceeds to go back and forth between gently stroking the bump and trying to get a reaction from it.
It has been many years since her first pregnancy, a few more than she would care to admit, and she is bound to take every second of this one and fully commit it to memory. Every moment since she found out about her son, her son and Luke's son- their son, she has cherished each single aspect of her pregnancy. Morning sickness did not bother her as much this time around; she takes the aches, pains, and weight gain in stride knowing that in the end it will all be worth it.
At moments like this, when she feels in her heart the connection with the child inside her that she wants to go back, wants to tell Luke about this little life they made and that it's only him she wants; him and their son and them. The baby is always the one to make her feel like this, never the fully formed human beings in her life. Her daughter pleads with her to come home, to tell Luke, to let her tell Luke, to make things right. Her friend Sookie tries to be as supportive and upbeat as she always is but even on a phone thousands of miles away Lorelai can sense her disappointment. Her parents are an enigma in this equation. Having never really liked Luke when they were together it confuses their daughter to no end that whenever they speak it is very nearly always of him and how she should tell him and get him back. She thinks often that it is just the elder Gilmore's wanting to save face and the family name; their rebellious daughter unwed and pregnant once again, but then she hears something in her mothers voice that tells her that they genuinely want her to be happy and know that being with Luke did just that.
When she thinks of what to call her child, she thinks of Luke. What would he want to name his son; she thinks that perhaps he'd want to name the child after his own father, but then maybe not. Would Luke think of some name like Zachariah or Phineas? Would he want a traditional name, like Adam or John? Would he want to name the boy Luke? At that she laughs, no he's too modest for that, he'd want his son to be individual of him, his own man. None of the baby books out there tell you what to name a child when you want his father to help and he doesn't even know about the baby. She makes a mental note to write to an editor about that. But the one thing she knows, Christopher is a name torn out of her baby book.
Hey
Jude, don't be afraid
You were made to go out and get her
The
minute you let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it
better
And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain
Don't
carry the world upon your shoulders
For well you know that it's a
fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder
Nah
nah nah nah nah nah nah nah
As she watches her son at play, running around without tiring, she wistfully thinks of how quickly he is growing up. It seems that yesterday was the day he was born and today he is nearly a man. She knows this is a silly thought because the tender age of five is hardly what anyone would call grown up but as his mother she knows better. His face is losing that distinct baby look it once held, and to add to her guilt; looking more and more like Luke's as each day passes. He is tall and lithe; she thinks he'll been a natural athlete as he grows, just like his father.
Watching him she thinks about going home, back to Stars Hollow. She'd finally tell Luke about him and beg for the forgiveness she doesn't believe is deserved. The memory book of her pregnancy and their son's first five years will come out and with everything in it a detailed account will be given, it'll feel like he was always there. Except he'd know he wasn't and know that she was the reason why. It'd be different than it was with Anna and April because 'fool me twice' and all; and she's sure that he'd have expected more than that from her, in her heart she knows that whatever he and Anna had it wasn't near what they themselves had once had. She supposes that it is the fear of how he'd react that keeps her away these days, remembering that she was going to tell him, that she had just put it off for too long.
Hey
Jude, don't let me down
You have found her, now go and get
her
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to
make it better
So let it out and let it in, hey Jude,
begin
You're waiting for someone to perform with
And don't you
know that it's just you, hey Jude, you'll do
The movement you need
is on your shoulder
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah yeah
Childbirth is never any fun, for Lorelai Gilmore the birth of her second child is absolute agony. Never mind the fact that for some insane reason she had decided to go au natural, but this time she knows that all she wants is for her baby's father to be holding her hand and whispering words of love, compassion, and awe into her ear as she curses him for doing this to her. The tears streaming down her face aren't just the tears of physical pain and the anticipation of impeding motherhood but also the tears of a woman who knows that the reason she is alone again during this happy time is because of her own stupidity. She tells herself, right before the big push, that once this is over she will call him and tell him and hold her crying infant up to the phone for his father to hear.
Once her child is born and she looks into his familiar face, she knows she cannot keep the promise she had made not ten minutes before. As much as she'd like to be strong enough to call him or to just pack up the baby and go to him, she isn't and will for the second time in her life tackle single-motherhood.
Hey Jude,
don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember
to let her under your skin
then you'll begin to make it
better
better better better better better, oh
Once they have found a favorite place to stop and eat, they walk along the beach and watch the people around them living their lives. The little boy is quiet now, not that his boundless energy has left he is just showing the more detailed signs that he is in fact the spawn of monosyllabic-man Luke Danes. They sit, she cross legged with him in her lap. The sun dips lower and lower in the sky and they talk and joke until in hits the very tip of the horizon. As they get up to make the trek back home she sees him staring off. Following his gaze she sees two young boys with a man who no doubt is their father, they are fishing and each boy holds a pole as the man helps the younger one reel it in. Her small son looks at her then and gives her a half smile. It is in that moment that she realizes the strength she hasn't been able to find in the past six years has been living with her the whole time.
Tomorrow, she will make plans to do what she should have done long ago. Lorelai Gilmore is going home.
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude
