I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point.
Okay, I kept my promise. I didn't want to impose on anybody to beta this, so all mistakes are my own.
My hatred of anonymous reviews is well documented so I won't rehash that here. I usually just delete them. There was one last chapter so over the top hilarious that I let it through. I needed that laugh, so thanks. The comment that has me scratching my head a little is that I'm a misogynist. Pretty big word… hard to spell… hard to pronounce… even harder to define. Do you really understand what it means? I'd have loved if you had the courage and/or class to sign your review so this conversation could have happened in a PM. But you don't have either so I'll do it here.
Am I a misogynist because I dared suggest that the spies would be willing to use sex against their opponents? If so, I'm confused because that is from a position of strength. They are exploiting their enemy's weakness. The 'honeypot spy' certainly has its roots in literature as well as real life. The Sarah in this story isn't a slut. In fact, she has done nothing wrong. She is a hero… seriously risked her life to do a distasteful but necessary job. Yes, she was heartbroken and acted out of spite. It was an assignment she normally wouldn't have volunteered for. She's happy that it's over. But that doesn't make her any less of a hero.
Are you really trying to say that the show didn't often infer that the agents used the honeypot weapon? Maybe we've been watching different shows.
So everyone is certainly entitled to an opinion but my mostly rhetorical question has always been this. If you think that I'm a creepy misogynist, why on earth would you ever click on one of my chapters? I've yet to get an answer. Trust me. If you ever wrote a story (probably written in crayon) you could bet a lot that I would never try to read it. Methinks thou dost protest too much. Perhaps you are a masochist. Another hard to spell… hard to pronounce… easier to define word.
Since this is going to be my last opportunity to make this rant, I wanted to make sure I got my money's worth.
The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything.
The Wife Way
x-x-x-x-x
Daniel Shaw could feel the palatable hatred radiating from his opponent. That was fine. He really didn't care for her that much either. At one time he assumed they would hook up for a while like spies often did. That would require his continued tedious requisite effort to provide some faux romance. That was the code for spy hookups. The man would provide the romance which both parties knew was artificial and the woman would provide the sex which both parties knew was real but impersonal.
Actually, her silly resistance worked out for the best. He'd studied all of the tapes from her past infiltration assignment, even the explicit ones that were supposed to be sealed. Walker could hit her knees and deliver quite the submissive performance when she wanted. Why was she playing so hard to get now? She'd smile and give it up for a mark, yet was playing him for a fool? What was the point of making him earn this? They both knew the outcome wasn't in doubt. Was it to prove to Chuck that she had fought to the bitter end? That seemed silly. At least now he didn't have to pretend to be nice or reasonable or negotiate or charm her into anything. Winning this fool's bet meant he was calling the shots for an entire day. He'd get his conquest, order her to her knees multiple times, and she would do all of the work. He wouldn't have to pay for the cow and would still get all of the milk he could possibly drink. He made a mental note to thank Agent Miller… maybe even invite her to dinner and dancing for some faux romance of her own.
The fight was going pretty much as expected. Shaw had studied her fights long ago. For all of her undefeated reputation, Walker really only had one weapon that she used time and time again with devastating effect. As long as he circled to her right and kept out of range of that left foot, she was defenseless. Okay, so in person she was maybe a bit quicker than he expected. He'd have to spend some time slowing her down. Even that would be fun. She was landing a fair number of punches… a few were even starting to sting a little… but his counter punches were coming closer and closer. One solid punch landing and the only remaining question would be how much punishment to deliver before claiming victory. They both knew it. There had to be some. She had challenged his manhood. Yet too much and she would need some recovery time to deliver his victory prize. At least she was smart enough to realize he was baiting her into trying a kick. He was content to wait for her inevitable miscalculation… or simple frustration to give him the opening to deliver that punch… and collect his prize.
Ellie watched them in the ring with growing apprehension. Finally she turned to her brother. "How are you possibly okay with this?" she asked. "What moron would actually think that Sarah owes him anything? Are we back in the dark ages?"
Chuck's grin belied the tense situation. "It's the spy way," he teased. "Ask Agent Miller."
Ellie turned to where Carina was standing with her own grin. "Okay," she said. "Agent Miller, how is Chuck okay with this?"
Carina was laughing. "This isn't really the way it seems, Dr. Woodcomb," she said. "Yeah, he thinks like someone in the dark ages. The answer to your question is that there is a moron who thinks she owes him something. Our act in the General's office was well planned. It was designed to trick said moron into getting into the ring with her."
Ellie shook her head. "Call me Ellie," she said. "Why would you have to trick him? He's huge."
Carina was still laughing. "Okay, Ellie," she said. "My name's Carina. Here's the deal. He doesn't have a chance. This man needs his ass kicked. We needed to get him to agree to face her in the ring so she could deliver that ass-kicking. You can't just beat up a teammate whenever you feel like it without getting punished. If she had challenged him to a fight, he would have been wary. Now he thinks she's being forced into this, expects to lose, and Beckman is on board. The offer of submissive sex if he wins was the kicker. This is all pretty predictable. He stopped thinking with his big head and starting thinking with the little one."
"Sarah seems to have that effect on men," Chuck piped in as he joined the laughing. "Normally, that bothers me. In this case, I'm fine with it."
Ellie still wasn't convinced. "I'm confused," she said. "How can she win? I'm married to a fitness freak. His guy has muscles that make Devon look like a ninety pound weakling."
Carina shook her head. "Muscles don't help that much in this type of fighting," she said. "This is like a mongoose against a cobra. It looks like the mongoose has no chance but it's really the other way around. Quickness and leverage are far more important. She's way, way too quick and experienced for him. Trust me. I've seen her in far more serious situations than this a hundred times. Yeah, he has muscles… but they're for show more than action. You're right in that he's a big powerful man. If he ever landed a solid blow, she'd be in trouble. She'd be stunned enough to drop her defenses for a minute. He'd have the upper hand for that minute, and might even win. That's what he's planning on. But his muscles slow him down. The truth is that even I could probably eventually take this guy. Against Walker, he has no chance. There is no way for him to land a meaningful punch. She's only allowing a few of his harmless jabs to get close just to keep him thinking he has the upper hand. She could end this any time she wants. She's currently going at about three-quarters speed."
"I'm even more confused," Ellie said. "If she can win, why would she allow him to hit her? Why not end this as quickly as possible?"
"It needs to happen," Chuck said. "Look, sis. We are going to have to work with this guy for a while. We need him controlled. She can't just defeat him one time. If she wins quick, he'll come away thinking she got in a lucky punch and always be trying to figure out some angle to try again. It's the way these guys think. She needs to dominate him… prove to him that he is overmatched… deliver so much pain and embarrassment that he'll avoid eye contact and won't ever want to face her again. She needs him afraid of her. When he looks at her, he needs to see a potential ass-kicking rather than a potential sexual conquest. Sarah actually likes it when scumbags like this are afraid of her. Her nickname was 'the Enforcer'."
Now Ellie was grinning. She turned back to Carina. "Well played," she said approvingly. "Are you this smart all of the time?"
That got Carina laughing again. "Not really," she said. "I've just been around the block a few times. Besides, I don't have to be smart… as long as I'm smarter than him. I think you'll agree that being smarter than Daniel Shaw isn't something you'd brag about."
"It's the spy way."
x-x-x-x-x
Before Chuck, this was where Sarah was happiest. In the ring, there was no one to betray you… no awkward feelings to work through. It was just you and your opponent. No one was going to help you. Of course, at the Academy your opponent was just as trained as you were. It was up to you to find a way to use your training, and yet improvise enough to find a weakness… and then exploit it. At the Academy you were fighting a classmate, and sometimes a friend. It wasn't a place to be gracious or a good sport. In combat, there were no friends, just like there was no second place.
It had been years since Agent Walker had actually been in the ring. The fights in the field didn't have a ring… or rules. There also wasn't a winner… just a survivor. If she worried about any rust, well training with Chuck's Intersect for the past few months put that to bed. She had never felt stronger or quicker. Shaw looked like he was moving in slow motion compared to sparring with Chuck.
Even the clothes were no longer an issue. The sports bra that matched her shorts wasn't any more comfortable than the frilly one but at least she didn't have to think about it. It really didn't do much of anything. She might as well have been topless. Chuck would have laughed. On their private island, they were pretty used to training naked. Shaw had already seen them anyway. It would also serve as a serious distraction… um, actually two distractions. If Casey and Morgan hadn't been standing there she might have taunted Shaw with the sight of one more thing he was never going to get.
Sarah's life had changed so dramatically in the past year that she wasn't sure how she felt. She sure as hell wasn't bored. In the ring, it wasn't ever personal. It was survival. Except this particular man was attempting to get between her and Chuck… not to mention what he did to Ellie. That made it personal. It was a good way to work out the frustrations of a bad day. She could have happily danced around, just out of his reach, throwing jabs followed by ever sharper jabs at this moron's face for hours. He was starting to show the physical signs of accumulated damage. His left eye was noticeably swollen and his lip was seriously bleeding. That just struck her as funny and egged her on to hit him harder.
Even the look on his face showed that he was starting to get the general idea that this fight idea wasn't going to end well for him. Sarah gave herself a firm self-pep talk. Don't get overconfident. Desperate people were dangerous… because they were unpredictable. The very last thing she wanted was to let her guard down and walk into his right hand. That would be the worst possible thing to happen. After all, Carina had a point about the spy code. If she lost, she'd have to pay off. Even Chuck admitted that. She had to spend some time convincing him that it was very, very unlikely to happen. Then again, welching on a bet was one of the worst things you could do. It would give him the moral high ground and they'd be right back to where they started. No, losing was unacceptable, so she shook the daydream of tonight… her wedding night… out of her mind and concentrated on the task at hand. They weren't going to get married until they got to Vegas anyway, and that was a several hour flight.
The best thing about this was Shaw's incredible ego would never let him quit. All he could do was watch helplessly as she delivered the beating. Finally, she saw Chuck nod at her. He was ending this a bit early for Sarah's tastes. She hadn't really finished with his humiliation yet, could have kept going for another hour or more, but Chuck was a nicer person than she was. Shaw had clearly been expecting her to throw her left foot and waiting for the opening it would give him to land his right hand. The moron thought that was her only weapon. And okay, she used it a lot. It even became her favorite fighting move in the field. So finally, she half way threw one.
Shaw, at long last, had a glimmer of hope. He saw the exact opening he'd been waiting for. He wasn't sure why she would try that at this point, but he certainly wasn't going to wait and ask her. He threw a counter right aimed at her chin with every bit of his remaining strength. Nobody could stay standing after that blow. Once she was on the deck, her quickness would be neutralized and he'd finally have the hard fought victory.
It didn't work out that way. She was waiting for him. Not only was Agent Walker still standing… she unleashed a hellacious uppercut from the top of her feet that would have sunk a battleship. In Shaw's awkward position, he had no way to avoid it and it landed directly on the point of his jaw with a sickening crack. It was the end of the fight… and the end of Shaw's memory of this day. He collapsed to the deck in a semi-conscious, moaning heap. At the Academy, that would have been the end but Sarah couldn't resist launching one last vicious kick into his ribs. "That was for kissing my neck in front of Chuck," she growled. Not that Shaw could hear her. He was currently taking a nap. No matter. Once he woke up every breath that Daniel Shaw took for the next couple of weeks would serve as a painful reminder of his encounter with the Enforcer.
Sarah was just starting to unwrap the tape on her hands when Chuck walked up. "Are you okay?" Naturally, Chuck would be worried about her. In this circumstance, that struck Sarah as funny so she started laughing. "Never better," she said. "Thank you for the present."
In a normal situation, Ellie probably would have switched into doctor mode and made sure that Shaw was okay. But after spending the better part of a week in jail, this wasn't a normal situation so they just left him there moaning in the middle of the ring for the CIA folks to deal with. "That was the most impressive thing I've ever seen," she gushed.
Carina was laughing. Most spies loved watching a good fight and this was no exception. "Yeah," she agreed. "I don't think we have to fear him hitting on Blondie here ever again."
"He'll be afraid that she will hit back."
x-x-x-x-x
Sarah was finally in the bathroom getting ready for bed after a very, very long day. One thing was for sure. Her horrible day had turned around. It was only a little because she got to teach Danial Shaw an unforgettable lesson about messing with her sister and husband… and her.
She hadn't really thought that much about being married before. She really didn't have anything in her past to make her look forward to it. The institution of marriage hadn't done much for either of them. Sarah's only memory of her mom and dad together was their fighting. Chuck's mom and dad's story was even more tragic. Actually having a ceremony and getting legally married was a formality she probably would have skipped. This had been for Chuck. He was the one who thought that it was important. After all, they were going to be together forever. As long as that was true, nothing else even mattered.
Wow, she couldn't have been more wrong.
From the very instant when she said 'I do' she could feel the change. Spies didn't get married. They hooked up. This was never a hookup for her from that time in Castle when she asked him to run with her. Chuck hopefully had figured that out and knew how she felt, but it was also nice to make a formal statement.
Sarah never wanted to be the center of attention that being 'the bride' implied. She originally wanted to elope, but she realized that she had been wrong about that too. It wasn't about wearing a wedding ring. It was about making a vow to each other. He deserved to hear her formally proclaim her commitment in front of their family and friends. Chuck wanted a big wedding. Vegas became a good compromise. It was understated… and yet anybody either of them cared about was present.
Being Vegas, she probably could have even gotten away with a lot less of the uncomfortable clothes. Of course that would have made her more the center of attraction then she was comfortable with. Anyway Morgan, Casey, and now Devon were standing there so that ruled out showing too much skin so she traded the black mission outfit in for a dress. She did ditch the bra from hell. And if you looked close enough, you could easily tell, especially after Chuck 'kissed' the bride. It was a sure bet that Morgan looked close enough. He never was shy about checking her out. Casey? Devon? Probably. Given that the new Mrs. Bartowski had officially banished bras from her wardrobe, combined with the fact that her new husband could arouse her at the damnedest times, it sure wasn't going to be the last time they got a peek at the image of her high beams poking through. Who cared?
The reception party was perhaps the best time she could remember. It was the quality family time that she had been waiting for her entire life. There was tons of teasing and laughing. Even Casey proved that he could be charming when he wanted. Sarah simply loved to dance. Chuck was most times a good sport about going with her whenever she asked, but his heart plainly really wasn't into it. Tonight there was no need to guilt him into dancing. Being the bride meant that everyone was lining up to dance with her, so that was one benefit of being the center of attention. Of course Carina loved to dance just as much as she did. With Morgan they, perhaps not unpredictably, consumed one too many adult beverages and put on quite the show on the dance floor… even by Vegas standards. Normally, that would have been creepy. Tonight, they were laughing so hard that her sides hurt.
They were really in no hurry to get to the room. They were having too much fun. They probably weren't going to get much of a honeymoon, at least for a while. With their new deal with Beckman, she was anxious to get the Intersect back on the clock right away. That was okay. They had just spent the past few months on a private tropical island. It was a lot more honeymoon than most couples got. They'd find the time to get back there soon enough.
This was their official wedding night… the only one they were ever going to have. It was a night traditionally dedicated to wild sex. Sarah was torn about that. Their sex life had evolved. At first, it was more than a little awkward as Chuck got comfortable being the aggressor. There was a time when they were into trying new things. That still happened from time to time… but now they had settled into a routine. Most would say that was a sad thing… a boring thing. It was anything but. Maybe it wasn't exciting and new, but it also wasn't awkward or scary. Yeah, it was still sex. The right parts went in the right places. Each knew what the other liked physically and made sure to deliver it. But now it was so much more. They connected at a spiritual level that left sex, or even making love, standing in the dust. The traditional climax wasn't really the climax. There was no climax. The cuddling before and after was just as amazing… even life changing. At first she was worried that this too might be a phase that would fade away. Now she absolutely knew it was a 'rest of her life' thing.
Sarah looked at the red negligee in the mirror with mixed feelings. She had acquired it a long time ago and had been saving it for this exact moment. It seemed like the natural thing to do at the time. With the matching stockings and heels, it was the perfect seduction outfit. Now she had second thoughts. How would Chuck react? Would he see it as fake? Even worse, would he see it as an Agent Walker move? Weren't they past this? Then again, he had done his part. When they got to the room, it was filled with beautiful gardenias. There was a bottle of her favorite wine chilling. Didn't he deserve the same effort?
Of course, the second she cautiously stepped out of the bathroom, Sarah's concern popped like a soap bubble.
"You look… amazing," Chuck said. "I thought you were against the idea of wearing clothes? Those heels look pretty uncomfortable."
Sarah grinned as she sauntered towards him and assumed the model's pose. Actually, he was right. It was pretty uncomfortable. Without the accessory bra the negligee was scratchy against her, higher than normal, high beams. She always hated wearing heels. "I am," she said. "They are. The thing is… you're worth it… especially since you came up with the gardenias. Hopefully I'm not wearing them for very long… if you get my meaning."
Chuck was grinning. When Sarah wanted to look sexy, she certainly could. The negligee hid nothing. If anything, it only highlighted the fact that she was naked more than if she had actually been naked. It was easy to tell when she was aroused. Then again, she had been aroused pretty much perpetually since that first night in her hotel room when they became a couple. It was a great time to be alive. "So," he said. "All I have to do to get you to wear this amazing goddess outfit is to order some gardenias? Why didn't you tell me this months ago?"
Sarah shook her head. Yeah, he was teasing. It's just that this was one area where she wasn't in a position to make fun of… and probably never would be. She would never pass up an opportunity to drill this into his head. "You don't have to order flowers," she protested. "You don't have to do anything except ask… for anything. The sexy outfit doesn't scratch the surface of things you can ask for. I do believe that I did tell you this months ago. You probably don't even have to ask. I know that's uncomfortable for you. So I plan on doing some things from time to time… just because."
Chuck's grin didn't fade. "I understand," he said. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable. Perhaps it's time you fixed that… if you get my meaning."
Sarah matched his grin. "In a second," she said. "First I'd like to talk to you about something."
Chuck was still grinning. "It sounds serious," he said. "I sure hope that you do most of the talking. I'm not sure there is much blood flowing to my brain right now… if you get my meaning."
Sarah nodded. "Duly noted," she said. "Now that we're actually married, maybe it's time that we put the condoms in the drawer for a few years."
Chuck's face showed his surprise. "You do know what happens next?" he asked. "Hopefully, you're not suggesting that we go celibate. You're ready for the consequences?"
Sarah started laughing. "I understand the designed purpose of a condom," she teased. "I think I learned in the sixth grade or so. And, no, I don't see being celibate for longer than a few hours in our future… ever." She took a breath and nodded. "I'm ready," she said. "At least I will be when one of your newly freed swimmers does its job. Let's face it. You're the most powerful person in the world. You no longer need a handler or a bodyguard. If anything, I'm in the way in the field. Protecting me is a distraction that you don't need. I trust Carina to make the right decisions."
"Sarah?" Chuck asked. "You're seriously ready to stop being a spy? There's no going back from that."
"I'm trying hard to not get frustrated here," Sarah said. "I'm not sure how to say this in a way you'll take seriously. You misunderstood me in Prague, you misunderstood me on that dusty road next to Carina's car that time, and you misunderstand me now. So let me try this one more time."
"Please don't get frustrated," Chuck said with a teasing grin. "The last time that happened you ended up on a spite mission on your knees making a very… um… interesting video."
At least that got them both laughing. "I'll try," Sarah said. "After all. Giles is dead. Who could I possibly find to help me make the next interesting video?"
"I have a couple of suggestions," Chuck said. "Well, actually only one suggestion, but you get the point I'm trying to make, right? So how am I misunderstanding you?"
Sarah sighed. "I don't regret my time as a spy," she said. "I don't. I'm proud of the work I've done. I'm most proud of the work we've done together. But I've given them everything I have for ten years and I'm tired. I don't have anything left to give."
"You could have maybe mentioned this in Beckman's office this morning," Chuck said.
Yeah, he was teasing. But Sarah had one more serious point to make. "I wanted to wait until we were actually married," she said. "I've always said that actually being married wasn't important to me. Now I understand that was wrong of me. It sent the wrong message. You already don't hear 'I love you' nearly enough. I can't have you worrying about how seriously I'm taking this. This hopefully tells you that I'm all in on us, in a way that words can't."
Chuck nodded. "I don't worry," he said. "I've understood for a long time that you're the strong silent type. You are always going to let your actions do your talking. So it was a very powerful gesture. Besides, you were afraid if you said something to Beckman, she wouldn't let you kick Shaw's ass."
At least that got them laughing again. "Hey," Sarah protested. "It's the spy way. Now that it's out of the way, I'm more than ready to become a normal girl full time. Ellie is going to teach me how to act. I'm looking forward to it. It's the wife way."
Chuck was still grinning. "Agreed," he said. "I hate to break it to you, but you're never going to be a normal girl. You're never going to be a normal anything. You're extraordinary."
Sarah matched his grin. "Nice segue steering the conversation back to wedding night stuff," she said. "That was pretty smooth. So smooth that now I will admit that these clothes, such as they are, are becoming rather tedious."
"Maybe you should get rid of them," Chuck teased. "Would I be a pig if I asked you to go slowly?"
Sarah was still grinning. "Maybe not quite pig territory," she said. "But definitely not quite as smooth. Your point, however, is still valid." Even trying to go slowly, it didn't take much. Sarah lifted the negligee over her head and stepped out of the heels. It only took a second to roll the stockings down her legs and toss them playfully in the air. "That's much better," she said. "Now let's start off our wedding night the right way and see about making that video you suggested. After all…"
"It's the wife way."
x-x-x-x-x
The End
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A/N: I get that the beginning of this was uncomfortable to read. Just like Pink Slip was uncomfortable to watch. It was uncomfortable for me too. This was my attempt to close the loop on Prague and get them together in a way that the show never did.
There is probably more story here that could be told. How do you keep a toe in the spy life while trying to be a normal couple? How does Chuck perform in the field without Sarah beside him? We know from the show that Shaw finds out that Sarah killed his wife, became an Intersect himself (somehow), turned to the Ring, and tried to separately kill both Chuck and Sarah. If they have kids, is that just more vulnerability for their enemies to exploit? I'm afraid that if that story gets written, it will be by someone else.
Let's be honest. If you exclude the Charah love story, the show was, at best, mediocre. In hindsight, I'm mostly embarrassed that it consumed my life so completely for so many years. I never re-watch it. At most I'll open a favorite episode and skip to my favorite scenes. The scene in Seduction where Roan asks Chuck if she is worth dying for… and he says 'yes' is still my very favorite. Maybe a close second is the ending of Honeymooners.
If there was ever a movie, I'm not sure how interested I'd be, especially if the original creators were involved. If it resolved where they left off on that beach, maybe. If it was just another round of wt/wt, no thanks. I think that fanfic has done a much better job of telling that Charah story than the show ever did. I'm happy for my contribution. I think I've written that story from every angle I can think of. Kinda like the Sarah of this story, I'm proud of the work I've done here. I've given what I have for ten years. Now I'm tired. Maybe it's time to hang up BillAtWork and just get back to being plain old Bill.
Thanks to all of you who took this journey with me. Aside from the occasional rather silly anonymous review, the support I've received stuns me. It is many, many times more than my wildest dreams. Even if we disagreed… and we often did… the debate was fun. I still look forward to hearing from you.
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