"Life of a Salesman"

He can't remember a day in his life where he was more nervous, scared, or excited as he is today. Luke has spent the better part of the previous night looking through his son's life. With each picture he tried to imagine himself there, camera in hand laughing at the precocious young boy as he faced growing up with a dimpled smile and a defiant look. He went through each page of the book. Once. Twice. And a third time before he drifted off to sleep. Instead of his usual dreams of Lorelai and their faceless, nameless children tonight he dreams of the boy in the pictures.

He holds the small blue bundle in his arms as the baby's face flushes red and his body squirms, curled up against his father's chest. Tiny fingers grip his large hands as the growing one-year old struggles to stay upright. Sunlight nearly blinds him as he throws the laughing three-year-old into the air and catches him bring him into a giant hug. Water ripples as the five-year-old boy next to him attempts to skip a rock only to have it clunk on the top of the pond and sink to the bottom.

What's a dad for dad?
Tell me why I'm here dad
Whisper in my ear that I'm growing up to be a better man, dad
Everything is fine dad
Proud that you are mine dad
Cause I know I'm growing up to be a better man

A bright light wakes him four short hours after he falls asleep. He stands and begins his morning routine. After he has showered and dressed he thinks about his day before it hits him. Today, will be anything but routine.

Descending down into the diner he can hear the morning rush. As soon as he walks through the curtain he can feel every eye on him. He wonders how much they know. They must know she is here, but do they know about the boy. Do they know that he's seen her, talked to her? What outrageous rumours are circulating around town today?

He speaks to Caesar, not giving any details, telling him he'll probably be gone most of the day. With not one look at the people around him he heads out the door and towards her house.

Father I will always be
That same boy that stood by the sea
And watched you tower over me
Now I'm older I wanna be the same as you

Hands shaking, he brings his arm up to tap on the door. He waits patiently until he can see her silhouette walking towards him. The lock clicks and there she is; smiling at him, an anxious but delighted look in her eyes.

"Hi." She says quietly. She doesn't move to let him in.

"Hey."

They stand there for a few moments both shuffling their feet and staring at the ground. Finally, she looks up at him.

"Why don't you come in? Jude's just upstairs playing, I'll get him." He steps inside and into the living room; before she can turn towards the stairs he stops her.

"Wait."

"What's wrong? Is this too soon, maybe tomorrow-"

"No. Nothing, I just- I don't- What does he know about me, Lorelai? I mean he's five and he's in a new place and here comes this guy that looks like him and he's supposed to call him 'daddy' or whatever. I've done this before, you know, with April and that was different and she was older and understood but- I just don't know." As he finishes her face softens and she places her hand on his chest.

"Luke, look at me." She says, and his eyes connect with hers. "He knows you. His whole life, I- I told him about you, everything. He knows his daddy is a good man. I've shown him pictures of you, told him stories about you and your incessant attempts to keep me healthy and caffeine-free. I talked to him this morning, he understands. Yeah, he's little but he's really bright and he wants to meet you. I think- I think you'll be surprised at how different this is going to be from- well, from last time, from April. It's different, I always meant-." With this she lowers head and wipes away the few stray tears falling from her eyes.

He brings her body to him then, his chin resting on her head.

"I know. It's okay. It's not that I'm not angry, I am. I don't agree with Anna's reasons for keeping April a secret, but I get it and I'll get this too. It's different this time, and I realize that some things- some things, a lot of things were my fault. But what's done is done and its time to move on, I'm too old to hold much of a grudge." She laughs then and looks up at him.

"Nah, you're not old, we'll just say distinguished." He chuckles and lets go of her. She smiles at him, turns and runs up the stairs. He sat on the couch, not knowing what to do. He doesn't know what to say to this little boy that he's about to meet. She said he wanted to meet him but, maybe it would be like with April. Maybe he'd have to push for a relationship with his son too.

What's a dad for dad?
Taught me how to stand, dad
Took me by the hand and you showed me how to be a bigger man, dad
Listen when you talk, dad
Follow where you walk, dad
And you know that I will always do the best I can
I can

He hears them walking down the steps and turns toward them. His lungs quickly fill with air and it takes a few moments before his body will let it out. Seeing the boy in pictures is one thing but now he sees the actual living person, his son.

The little boy for his part has a look of timidity on his small face. He is partially behind Lorelai, his hand in hers. She smiles at Luke and then bends down and faces her son. As she begins to talk to him, the child's eyes never leave Luke's face.

"Jude, this is Luke. He's your daddy. You've seen pictures of him remember?" He shakes his head up and down slowly, eyes still transfixed on the flannel-clad man in front of him. It is a tense few moments where no one in the room knows what should happen next. Lorelai looks to Luke and gives him an encouraging pointed look. He quietly clears his throat, takes two steps forward and bends down. With hand outstretched he addresses his son for the first time.

"Hey Jude." For a moment, the boy continues to stare and then his face breaks out into a smile and his small frame convulses in giggles. Luke looks to Lorelai and she is smiling and begins to laugh with him. Confused Luke drops his hand to his side and gives them both an incredulous look. When his little boy laughter subsides, he looks up at his father, gives him a toothy grin and reaches his hand out.

"Hi Daddy."

Father I will always be
That same boy that stood by the sea
And watched you tower over me
Now I'm older I wanna be the same as you

Today, the feeling of anxiety weighs heavily upon him. He is in a park surrounded by dozens of hyperactive sugar laden children. He thanks whatever higher power there may be that today is a beautiful spring day. The weather is warm and the sun is shining. He hopes this is a good sign.

That first meeting with his son, after its initial awkwardness, went very well. The little boy proved to be just as talkative as his mother and led most of the conversation, with Luke looking on at him in awe.

That was one week ago and today another important meeting would occur.

April, hearing of her new brother, bought a ticket for the first train back to Connecticut. Today, she would go to the park where the first seeds of her own relationship with her father began and Luke would get to be the proud father, watching his two children interact.

At nineteen, the age difference between April and the five-year-old Jude might present complications. April, like her father, has never been close to any children and even as a child was more of an adult. But she promised Luke she would try because the one thing she has learned in the nearly seven years she has known him is that to Luke Danes, family is important.

He holds his son's hand as the little boy chats earnestly about Bob the Builders latest escapades and clutches a box of Thomas and Friends trains. Seeing his daughter walking toward them, he smiles and gets his sons attention.

He introduces them and watches happily as she asks her brother if he likes to swing and his two children race off toward the swings, laughing as they go.

(When I am a dad, dad
I'm gonna be a good dad
Do the best you could, dad
Always understood, dad
Taught me what was right, dad
Opened up my eyes, dad
Glad to call you my, dad
Thank you for my life, dad)