Chapter 4
Saint Valentine's Day
Her face in her hands, Evey sobbed uncontrollably. Never in her life had she been rejected like this. She felt her whole soul break. Why did he not stay? Did he not harbor the same feelings for her as she did for him? She shook her head in disbelief. Was this all a chimerical? Did she over analyze, draw things out of proportion? Her whole body shook as she cried harder. She loved him, loved him more than she could express. And naturally she wanted to be with him. Was it so wrong of her to ask him to say? There was nothing like rejection to make you do an inventory of yourself. Evey tried to find out what was wrong with her; she felt ugly, both inside and out.
V stood quietly outside her door, listening to her moans. As he placed his left hand gently on her doorknob, he realized he could make everything better. All he had to do was go in there, and stay with her. He could not bring myself to do it though. This admission made his heart beat painfully in his chest. He did not deny her because of any moral grounds that he held, (though he wished it was, because that would make it a lot easier to refuse her) but because he could not afford to get involve with anyone. He had grown to love Evey, he could not deny that. His sole purpose in life was vengeance, nothing else could exist. He sighed heavily, letting his hand fall off the doorknob and walked away.
Evey locked herself in her room the entire morning. She spent her time going through the mountains of book V had previously stacked up against the back wall of her bedroom, hoping to pass the time and get her mind off of last nights upsetting events. All attempts were futile. V was not having very much luck either. He made her breakfast as he did everyday, knowing full well that she probably wouldn't come out of her room at all; he even made her favorite-French toast. He hoped the smell would draw her out, like it had successfully done many times before in the past. He failed at that attempt as well. He sighed wearily, she would have to come out sooner or later. This was not the ordinary drama that happened from time to time in a female's life; this was serious. He knew he wounded her heart deeply and did not know for sure if their relationship would ever the same again.V sat on the couch watching "Casablanca", but the truth of the matter was that he had been thinking of Evey the entire time. He was absolutely plagued by last night's ordeal. In his mind he kept replaying the entire incident. Repeatedly he told himself, "I only denied her because it had to be done. It was the right thing to do. I can't jeopardize my duty." If he allowed himself to openly love her, to embrace her entire being; body and soul. He would be torn between his purpose in life and love. Though his life was all vengeance, he allowed himself to indulge in fine food, clothing, paintings, sculptures, literature, music and other virtù. Why not love? Yes, but love was more than a beautiful painting or words on a page. The way of peace is the way of love. Love is the greatest power on earth, it conquers all things. "Even such missions of vengeance…" V mused.
"But what about us?"
"We'll always have Paris. We didn't have, we, we lost it until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night".
"When I said I would never leave you.."
"And you never will, but I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of."
"Without love in you life, you have nothing. Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage. Love... It surrounds every being and extends slowly to embrace all that shall be. The greatest pleasure of life is love. The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves." And with those thoughts, he went to bed quietly.
The next day…
Evey paced around her room, arguing with herself the entire time. "If only I didn't ask him to stay, everything would be fine," she told herself angrily. "After all," she thought, "how was he suppose to react?" She had to confront him, she had to say she was sorry. This was all her fault, not V's. Even though in her mind she knew that V would have never stayed, but she did hope deep down inside her heart that he would. And because of that she decided to take that risk of rejection.
Sighing in frustration, she sat down on her bed in silence. Now if only she had the courage to go up to him and apologize. She gulped; that would mean she had to face him and even talk to him about what happened. Her stomach squirmed, she felt nauseated just thinking about it. It wasn't the fact that she didn't want to admit that she was wrong, she had no problem doing that. It was the fact that she was still a bit hurt and embarrassed, but she had to do what was right and make amends. As she buried her face in her hands, she could hear the soft playing of a piano. Curious, she rose from her bed and walked out into the dimly lighted hallway, the music got louder and louder as she walked through its length.
Stopping at its opening, she found V sitting at the piano. She watched him for a moment, holding her breath as to avoid detection. Her eyes wandered down his body, resting on his ungloved hands. Though they scarred and burnt, his fingers were long and graceful, moving swiftly and passionately, playing Rachmaninov's 2nd Piano Concerto in C Minor with great execution. Softer and softer he played, letting each chord ring out and vibrate. Then silence.
"There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time."
V moved out from beneath the piano bench and stood up, facing Evey for the first time in days. Evey was speechless, though she felt obligated to say something. Embarrassed, she lowered her gaze, what was he exactly trying to say? "V I just want to apologize for the other night," she said abruptly. "I didn't know what I was thinking, putting you in that situation." Funny how she seemed to be losing her mind ever since she first met him.
"Evey please-," V said sympathetically.
"No V," Evey said interrupting him. "It is all my fault, it was-" said Evey, starting to choke up.
"Listen Evey," V said. "Do not dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward."
She looked up at him for the first time. "True, but I still have to admit where I was wrong V."
V cocked his head to the side, "You only did want you felt was right at the time. There is no shame in what you did." Evey felt her face flush with heat.
"What about you V?" She said timidly. "Did you do what you thought was right?" She literately felt her heart skip a beat. She was afraid of the answer, but at the same time couldn't help but be insanely curious.
"We cause harm by doing what we perceive to be the right thing. Most people don't intend to cause harm, they cause harm by doing the right thing - in their mind." V took a few steps closer to her, " but to put it in Oscar Wilde's own words 'to regret one's own experiences is to arrest one's own development. To deny one's own experiences is to put a lie into the lips of one's life. It is no less than a denial of the soul.'"
V saw her smile for the first time and it was absolutely resplendent. She bit her lower lip, casting her eyes down to the floor from embarrassment. "Evey," V said tentatively. "Would you like to watch a movie with me?"
Evey narrowed her eyes, "it isn't 'The Count of Monte Cristo' is it?"
V chuckled, "No not this time. It is a charming little film called 'A Brief Encounter'-have you heard of it?"
Evey shook her head, "No I haven't, does it have a-"
"A happy ending? I'll let you decide on that," V said moving over to the coffee table picking up the VHS.
Evey said nothing, she pondered whether this was a trap or not to make her watch something she normally wouldn't. "Alright, I'll watch it." V made a noise of appreciation as he placed the tape into the player and sat down next to Evey. "V," she said watching as the previews began. "What is the movie about?" She asked curiously.
"It is a black and white film of forbidden love and of a painful hunger for a deep inner connection that is often subdued by the obligations of marriage."
Evey crossed her arms, she wasn't the sort that enjoyed romantic black and white films, but she was willing to watch this one for V. "Oh," she said dryly.
"By the way Evey," V said coolly. "Happy Saint Valentine's Day." Shocked, Evey turned to him. She had no idea that today was the fourteenth. She stopped caring what the day it was ever since she'd been underground. But what shocked her most was that V remembered, meaning it was a worthwhile thing to know or to say.
"I didn't know you celebrated Saint Valentine's Day," she said inquisitively.
V looked at her, "I don't." She wondered why he mentioned it in the first place, she didn't question him. "But I know you do Evey."
She gave him a quizzical look, "Well yes…"
He continued to look at her, "well then happy Saint Valentine's Day."
She smiled, still not understanding why it mattered so much, "Thank you very much V. Happy Saint Valentine's Day to you as well."
Evey watched, falling into a silent awe. The passion between Laura Jesson and Alec Harvey was fierce and moving. The movie was a tale of two people with two very different lives, fortuitously joining together, only to separate again. But they meet again and they quickly fall in love, knowing full well their love cannot be and will not last. Realizing that they must return to their own lives, they separate forever.
"This can't last. This misery can't last. I must remember that and try to control myself. Nothing lasts really. Neither happiness nor despair. Not even life lasts very long. There'll come a time in the future when I shan't mind about this anymore, when I can look back and say quite peacefully and cheerfully how silly I was. No, no, I don't want that time to come ever. I want to remember every minute, always, always to the end of my days."
Evey fought back tears as Laura and Alec waited together silently for Alec's train. She grew angry as Dolly Missiter ruined their last chance at a final goodbye. Oh what inner misery they had felt! What agonizing heart break! Evey continued to watch as Alec gave his love one last look and disappeared forever from her life. God, she felt truly sorry and touched by the film. She could relate in more ways than one.
"Well?" V asked anxiously. Evey wiped a tear from her cheek.
"It's so sad," she whimpered.
V handed her a tissue. "Indeed it is."
Evey took the tissue and dabbed away the tears. "I hate sad stories!" She said, her voice raising out of anger and torment as she fought back fresh tears. He most surely did this on purpose.
"I'm glad you liked it," V said softly, his voice shaking a bit; He too was teary eyed. Sitting there together, they watched in silence as the credits slowly trailed up the screen.
Author's Note: THANK YOU FOR YOUR REVIEWS! They've been the only things motivating me to write! I appreciate every single one of them. Please feel free to leave me more reviews, I'm sure they'll get me to writer faster? Lol!
Seriously some of the reviews I get, literally make me jump up from my chair and do a crazy dance. This is how happy they make me! Thank you so much guys!
Oops! No mature content….hm seems things have taken a different course as far at the plot line goes and I will naturally be prolonging the mature content for awhile. Not because I want to torture anyone, but because Evey and V aren't ready to yet. There needs to be more to the story before I have them reach such an intimate level. But don't worry, it will happen soon and will be worthwhile to read-PROMISE! Along with other things, I've already begun to work on that particular scene and it is a work of art! Mwah hahaha!
Works Cited:
TAKES A DEEP BREATH
"Don't dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer."
Denis Waitley
"There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time."
Malcolm X
"The idea that we cause harm by doing what we perceive to be the right thing, that's another theme that interests me. Because most people don't intend to cause harm, they cause harm by doing the right thing - in their mind."
Andrew McCarthy
"To regret one's own experiences is to arrest one's own development. To deny one's own experiences is to put a lie into the lips of one's life. It is no less than a denial of the soul."
Oscar Wilde
"Don't dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer. "
Denis Waitley
"There's nothing like rejection to make you do an inventory of yourself. "
James Lee Burke
"Without love in you life, you have nothing. "
Wynonna Judd
"Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. "
Kahlil Gibran
"To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage. "
Lao Tzu
"Love... It surrounds every being and extends slowly to embrace all that shall be. "
Kahlil Gibran
"The greatest pleasure of life is love. "
Euripides
"The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves. "
Victor Hugo
"The way of peace is the way of love. Love is the greatest power on earth. It conquers all things. "
Peace Pilgrim
"But what about us?
We'll always have Paris. We didn't have, we, we lost it until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night.
When I said I would never leave you.
And you never will. but I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of."
Casablanca
The piano piece V was playing was "Rachmaninov's Piano Concerto No.2 In C Minor, Op.18, II, Adagio Sostenuto."
"This can't last. This misery can't last. I must remember that and try to control myself. Nothing lasts really. Neither happiness nor despair. Not even life lasts very long. There'll come a time in the future when I shan't mind about this anymore, when I can look back and say quite peacefully and cheerfully how silly I was. No, no, I don't want that time to come ever. I want to remember every minute, always, always to the end of my days."
A Brief Encounter
