A/N: Because I have lost the patience required to post chapters at a semi-regular rate, here's another one on the same night woohoo

I couldn't control myself this chapter so it's on the long side (for this story). I didn't even get to the plot point I was supposed to hit this chapter, that's how much fun I was having. I hope it is enjoyable for the readers as well hehe


After sharing a few minutes of lighthearted banter with Makarov, Natsu wandered down to the bar. Mira must've been having an off-duty night, because she was nowhere to be seen and everyone at the bar was a non-mage regular. Makarov must've had everyone else out on missions, too; Erza was the only other Fairy Tail mage at the bar. Figuring her company was better than none, he wandered over. He had something to talk to her about anyway.

"You know, a few years back, I used to have a crush on you," Natsu said as he sat down next to her.

Erza smiled warmly and pulled Natsu into a side hug. "I'm flattered. But you have someone else you like right now, don't you?"

Natsu looked at his hands and mumbled, "Yeah."

"I'm guessing you want to talk about it."

Natsu was silent. This was what he'd come here for, but actually saying it was proving difficult.

Erza let out a long exhale and released Natsu from her embrace. He sat up straight in his stool, rubbing his shoulder.

"You know," she said, "I've had quite a few crushes in my day, too."

Natsu looked at her. It was hard to imagine Erza falling in love. "You have?"

She nodded. "You may not have noticed this, but Kagura, from Mermaid Heel? She and I almost dated."

That was surprising.

"Of course, that was a few years ago. Now she's like a little sister." She paused, letting Natsu process this new information before continuing. "But with Jellal, it was different."

Natsu jumped at the mention of Jellal's name, startled. "Wait. You dated Jellal?" How in the world had he missed this? He knew they were close, but…

Erza chuckled. "No, he doesn't think he deserves me. I didn't want to pursue it either, of course — you know our history — but by avoiding my feelings entirely, I was actually making things worse for both of us. It wasn't until I sorted out my feelings that we were able to progress anywhere, even if Jellal has yet to do the same. You see what I'm saying?"

"I guess," Natsu said. "But why are you telling me all this?"

"You've been holding yourself back too, haven't you? Because of Lucy."

He frowned. She was sharp. Well, not that there was any other reason he'd brought this up with her.

"You've said in the past that you aren't into the same things most of us are romantically, but I see the way you look at her sometimes. It's different from how you looked at Lisanna," — his shoulders shrunk at the mention of her name — "and I'll bet it's different from the way you looked at me."

Natsu folded and re-folded his hands before him on the bar. She wasn't right, but she wasn't completely wrong either. "It's weird," he said, voice quiet. "I don't like it."

"It took me a long time to accept my feelings for Jellal. Just know that some things don't go away if you refuse to confront them. It's only by being honest about your feelings that you're able to move past them."

Lucy wasn't the first time he'd been shaken up like this. Most of the time he was drawn to someone, it had been a stranger, so he was able to ignore it and move on. But moving on from Lucy was proving more difficult than he anticipated. Especially since she'd captured his heart, too.

"It's okay if you take your time," Erza said. "It's even okay if you never act on those feelings at all, if they truly make you uncomfortable. But you want to, right?"

Natsu nodded.

"Maybe you should talk to Lucy about this."

Natsu balked. "Are you crazy? No way I'm telling her all that," he exclaimed.

"I don't mean you have to admit your feelings for her; just talk about feelings in general. You don't even know if she's into guys, do you?"

"Oh. Right."

"I would ask her for you, but I think it's better if you talk to her yourself. She trusts you the most out of any of us. I think if you ask, she'll open up to you."

Erza had a point. But Natsu still wasn't sure he was ready to face all of this. After what happened last time he liked a girl…

"You're thinking about Lisanna again, aren't you?"

Natsu flinched. Caught.

Erza sighed. "You really need to let it go."

"I know," he mumbled. "You guys keep telling me."

"It wasn't your fault."

"…"

"Did you know that Elfman thinks it's his fault?"

Natsu's head turned sharply. "What? That's stupid!"

"I could say the same to you."

"No, but I—"

"You didn't do anything wrong. You did your best. So did Elfman. Honestly, both of you are just looking for self-pity as a way of excusing your helplessness. Nobody could do anything in that situation. It's nobody's fault, yet both of you keep blaming yourselves for everything. Yes, it's stupid."

Natsu scowled. She was making sense, but again, what she said wasn't quite right. It was his fault. That was a fact. No amount of reasoning or logic could change the truth.

"I changed my mind," Erza said. "Don't talk to Lucy about feelings. Talk to her about this."

"About Lisanna?"

She nodded.

"No," Natsu said quickly. "No. I can't do that."

"Why not? Why can't she know?"

"Because she'll blame me."

"For something that's not your fault? For what happened to someone she never even met?"

"She wouldn't trust me anymore."

"But you still trust her after hearing her secrets, right? Don't look at me like that; no, she didn't tell me much, just that she told you things she's never revealed to anyone before. You're a good guy, Natsu, no matter what you think of yourself. She knows that, too." Erza stood. "Well, I already know better than to try too hard to convince you. Gods know all of us have tried several times over. You'd best be getting home, Natsu. Lucy's waiting."

Natsu watched wordlessly as Erza left for the women's dorms, leaving him alone at the bar. He didn't move. He wasn't ready to go back yet, not after that conversation.

It was a while later that the sound of his name pulled him from his thoughts.

"Natsu?" It was Happy's voice.

"Happy? I thought you were going to sleep. What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you," Happy said, flying over and landing softly on the bar counter with all four paws. "It's getting late, Natsu."

"I know. I just needed some time to think."

"You? Thinking? Scary."

"Like you're one to talk, Happy."

"I'm a cat. I don't have to think. I just use my cat instincts."

Natsu stood up and stretched. "Alright, Happy, let's go home."

"Aye!"

Natsu followed happy out of the guild, but nearly jumped out of his skin to see Lucy waiting outside.

"Took you long enough," she said, pouting. Her golden hair was tied up in an off-center ponytail, the tips resting just behind her shoulder.

"So you came, too," he said.

"Well of course. I was bored, and Happy didn't want to sleep until you came home." She frowned. "Why, were you avoiding me or something?"

Natsu shook his head quickly. "No, no, nothing like that." He thought back to Erza's words. Might as well get the whole coming-out talk over with. Also, he wanted to gauge her feelings toward him, and maybe talking about it would give him some hints.

"Have you ever had a boyfriend?"

He cringed at the suddenness of his own question. Why could he never bring things up naturally? He really needed to stop blurting things out without thinking. Stupid, stupid.

Happy made a loud noise of disgust. "Okay, no. I'm leaving. I'm not gonna listen to you two being sappy," he said, flying off.

"No, Happy, I'm not—" It was too late. Natsu sighed. He really wasn't planning to use that question as a lead-in to ask her out or anything, even if it might look that way. He just wanted to know.

Lucy giggled. "I know you don't mean anything by it. No, I never had time to think about that stuff. What about you?"

"I'm kind of the same, I guess," he said. "I've had a few crushes, but that's it."

"Ooo. Was it anyone in Fairy Tail?"

"Can I not answer that?"

Lucy laughed mischievously. "Who was it, Mira? She's pretty hot."

"No. Mira's scary," he said.

"Hmm, then I take it Erza is out as well, huh…"

He kept his mouth shut.

"What kind of people do you like anyway? I'm curious now."

"Lucy," he whined.

"You're the one who asked me first."

"But you didn't even say anything. Not fair."

She pressed her lips together. "Fine. There really isn't much to say, though; I didn't interact with people my age as a kid, and I've been so busy the past few years that there was never a chance to think about it. And if I had to pick out people I like…well, I already said Mira's hot. Cana too. Is that enough? Even though it's not a crush or anything."

"Do… This might be invasive, but you only listed girls, so…"

"No, I'm definitely into at least two genders," Lucy said, and Natsu breathed a sigh of relief. "But I'm not naming any more specifics. You?"

"I'm the same. And not telling who."

Lucy let her hands bounce on her thighs as she walked. "I wasn't expecting that sort of question from you, though," she said. "I didn't think you cared about that sort of stuff. Like Cana."

"Nah, I just don't feel like getting into all the messy love stuff. I'm not into sex so the whole guild knows not to bother asking me. Specifically, I'm gray-ace. But I had crushes, so they know I'm not aromantic like Cana is."

"I'd ask who they know you had crushes on, but you said you're not telling."

"You're not telling either."

"Fair enough."

"Most people think I'm weird. Because of the whole not wanting sex thing."

"Do you think you'd ever want it?"

"Maybe just to try, but if I do it once they might expect me to do it again, and what if I don't want to do it again? I do get desires sometimes, but I…it's still weird to me. I get nervous."

Lucy laughed. "Imagine, Natsu actually admitting he's nervous about something! This is a first. Anyway, they're a jerk if they think you're obligated to have sex just because they want you to. You deserve better than that."

Natsu let out a long breath. "If only other people thought more like you," he said. It had taken him ages to get some of the others in Fairy Tail to understand him, but Lucy accepted it just like that. It felt like a huge weight off his chest. This kind of talk was awkward and difficult, but he was glad he'd brought it up after all.

Lucy opened her mouth as if to say something, but her brows furrowed and she stayed silent. The sound of gravel crunching underfoot filled Natsu's ears. Then, as if sensing the lull in the conversation, Happy returned.

"Are you guys done talking now?" he said.

Natsu offered his head for Happy to land on. "Yup. We had a good talk."

"What'd you talk about?"

"Just stuff," Natsu said.

"Hmm?" A telltale purr alerted Natsu that Happy's teasing mode had been activated. "What, were you too embarrassed? You didn't even confess?"

"Confess to what?"

"You like her," Happy drawled.

Natsu groaned. "Really, Happy? This again?"

"It's obvious."

"It's not obvious."

Lucy laughed. "Let it rest for today, Happy; he's turning pink as his hair. Don't worry, Natsu, it's not like I'll get the wrong idea just because of Happy teasing you."

"Yeah," Natsu mumbled. "Thanks." Not that Happy was wrong.

Happy was still snickering atop Natsu's head. Natsu tried swatting at him to make him stop, but Happy quickly flew out of the way, choosing to hover by Lucy instead.

"What were you doing in the bar all by yourself anyway, Natsu?" Happy said.

"I told you, I was thinking."

"About what?"

Natsu hesitated. "Erza and I talked about some things earlier. I had to decide on something."

"On what?" Happy said. "Is it something about Tartarus?"

"No, it's… Oh, fuck it. Happy, go on ahead of us."

Happy grinned, tail flicking with energy. "You got it. Good luck, Natsu."

Happy knew him too well. "Thanks, buddy," Natsu said.

"Lucy," he said once Happy was out of sight.

"Yes?" she said. She was looking mighty confused after that exchange with Happy, and though she was still facing forward to the path ahead of them, her eyes were glancing at Natsu curiously.

"It's about what we just talked about."

"Yeah…?" Her poker face faltered.

"Um." He averted his eyes, trying his best not to blush. "You're really great." Gods, why was this so hard?"

"Uh. Thanks?"

His hands pulled at his hair. "No, that's not what I meant. Argh. Happy's gonna kill me for sending him away twice over nothing."

"Natsu, what on earth is bothering you?"

"You. You're bothering me."

"O-oh. How am I—"

"Arghhhhh!"

"Natsu?"

"I like you, okay?"

She stopped in her tracks, and he slowed to a stop in front of her. She just stared at him. She blinked.

"I…I like you, too," she said, bewilderment apparent on her face.

"No, I mean…the thing we were talking about before. The kind of person I like. Right now, it's you. It's been you for weeks now. And if we're going to be on the same wavelength in any upcoming fights, you need to know."

Her mouth opened, but it took a full ten seconds for any words to come out. "You too," she said. "You should know that I like you, too."

Natsu nearly went limp in shock. His eyes widened. "Shit. Seriously?"

Lucy nodded, blushing bright red all the way to her ears. She stared at her feet, just barely hiding her bashful smile.

Natsu felt his face flush as well. He couldn't do anything but stare, completely struck by this news. He was just planning to get those feelings off his chest so he didn't have to agonize over them anymore, but for them to actually be reciprocated…? For the Celestial Spirit herself, this woman whose strength probably rivaled Erza's, to be standing there blushing in front of him— he didn't know what to do. What did a guy do in a situation like this? Not for the first time since meeting Lucy, Natsu was speechless.

"Um," Lucy said, "we should get going. Happy…"

"Right," Natsu said quickly, laughing probably a little bit too loud.

They fell into step with each other, following the path back to Natsu and Happy's cabin. The silence was tangible.

Natsu didn't know if the silence was a good thing or a bad thing. Was he supposed to try to hold her hand or something? Shit, his lack of experience was going to be an issue. He'd been a vagabond thief for years, and even after that nearly two-month-long mission with others, his social skills were still a little rough. Not to mention he hadn't let himself even think about romantic things ever since Lisanna—

He choked on his own thoughts again as he remembered the other half of his conversation with Erza. He still had to tell Lucy about Lisanna. Erza told him to tell her tonight, but the timing didn't seem appropriate. They were about to leave on a mission that would be emotionally difficult for Gray, and Natsu didn't want to detract from that by airing his own issues. Gray was the one who would be hurting the most in the coming weeks, not Natsu.

But Lucy deserved to know. Would she still claim she liked him after hearing what he did to the first girl he liked?

He'd tell her later at some point, he decided, to give himself some time to mentally prepare. For now, he should to let himself be happy that Lucy liked him the same way. Surely he at least deserved that much.

They didn't hold hands walking back to the cabin, and Happy's teasing when they got there kind of made him glad for that fact if only because it'd've been one more thing for Happy to tease him about. They got ready for bed like they always had while camping — the difference being that Natsu got to sleep in his own hammock instead of on a thin mat.

"You can have these blankets," Natsu said, shoving them toward Lucy and hoping they were warmer than their ratty appearance. "I should really get a bed since you keep staying here, but…"

"I don't mind," Lucy said. "It was my choice to stay here instead of with one of the girls, and I knew this meant sleeping on the floor. But I've already imposed on you, so I feel more…comfortable, I guess."

"No other reason?" Happy said, peering around from behind Natsu's leg.

Lucy laughed off the jab and leaned down in Happy's face. "No other reason," she confirmed. "I don't let those kinds of feelings affect my decisions. It's a bad habit of mine."

"Shouldn't it be a good habit?" Natsu said.

Lucy looked up, smiling wryly. "It's bad when it takes me this long to even say anything."

Natsu scratched his neck. "Well, I'm the same there," he mumbled.

"Just go to sleep, Natsu. I thought you said Fairy Tail was great at relaxing."

"Who could relax after a day like this?" Natsu said.

"You always manage somehow," Lucy said with a laugh. "Goodnight, Natsu." She leaned up on the balls of her feet and pecked Natsu on the cheek.

He lifted a hand to touch the warm impression she left, the sensation still tingling after her lips were gone. This was new.

Somewhat embarrassed, Lucy quickly turned her face away and called out Plue so she could bury her face in his fur and feign instant sleep.

For his part, Natsu jumped immediately into the hammock, curling up facing the opposite direction from her, face burning. This was too much for him. The great Salamander had been slain, and it was all Lucy's fault. Gods, the things she did to his heart.

However many months ago, the Celestial Spirit had come into his life and turned everything upside down. The vagabond returned home again. The loner fought with his friends. And an untouchable legend, the most famous outlaw in all of Fiore had teamed up with an illegal mage guild and maybe even confessed feelings for one of them. And not even one of the successful ones, but a mage who had been living as a wandering thief for years prior to their meeting.

With demons causing havoc and more information being discovered about Tartarus every day, Natsu could tell the winds were shifting in Ishgar in more ways than one. It was all thanks to a certain Lucy Heartfilia that Natsu got to experience this. He had to thank her somehow. Maybe he'd return that kiss in the morning. The cheek would be too obvious of a copy; her forehead, perhaps, or her temple?

Happy's weight settled onto Natsu's chest, and he held the exceed close. With his two partners by his side, Natsu felt invincible. Tartarus was going down.


A/N: This chapter was one I spent a looooot of time working on for obvious reasons. It's gone through like seven different iterations since I started writing this whole story. Unlike some other chapters which I write from scratch as I go along. There's probably an obvious difference in writing quality since I've had time to edit it ten million times, but whatever, I like to write the best parts first and there's nothing anyone can do about that. Confession scenes definitely count as best parts.

Oh, here's a small bit from a previous version of the NaLu conversation that I was really sad to have to cut:

Natsu groaned. "Gods, he's so heterosexual it's almost sickening."

(Who it's about isn't important, I just thought it was funny)