A/N Yes, your eyes do not decieve you sweethearts! It is an update in this story FINALLY! Inspiration hit as I was reading over it. Not to mention a little birdie reminded me that this story wasn't finished yet. Enjoy!
Chapter 6
Buffy sat up with a gasp and looked around the room. Angel wasn't next to her on the rug where they had fallen asleep tangled up in each other. As far as she could tell, he wasn't even in the room. Buffy started to panic. She felt like she couldn't breathe and that the entire place was pressing in on her, threatening to crush her to death. She tried to find her voice, but nothing came out. She was afraid to stand because she knew her legs wouldn't hold her up. Tears flowed freely down her face. She knew that if Angelus were to come in right now, she would be powerless to stop him. She would welcome the punishment he would surely give her. This was all her fault.
Buffy tried to lift the sheet to cover herself, but it felt like a thousand pounds and it fluttered out of her weak grasp. Scanning the room, she made sure Angel or Angelus wasn't there. He wasn't. Taking a slow, deep breath, Buffy struggled to regain some semblance of composure. She reached out her senses to see if she could feel him anywhere near. Just as her eyes drifted shut, the door opened and Angel came walking into the room. His eyes stopped on her as she stared wide eyed at him, waiting.
"You're awake." He said. All she could do was nod. "I was hoping you'd still be asleep."
"Why?" She choked.
"I wanted to surprise you." He took a step closer and she flinched. A look of pain crossed his beautiful, angelic features. "Buffy, it's me." She looked up at him. "I'm not him. I didn't change."
"Why?"
"I... I don't know." She flinched again when he started to move closer to her. "Buffy..."
"Why didn't you change?" Buffy's voice sounded small and faraway.
"Buffy, I don't know. I couldn't tell you." He kneeled down in front of her and gently lifted the sheet, covering her. "It's me." He stroked her face gently and she leaned into it for a moment, tears still falling. "Don't cry. I didn't want to scare you."
"Where did you go? Why did you leave?"
"I got you breakfast." He held out a brown bag. "They have a cafeteria here and it just happened to have big blueberry muffins and orange juice. Freshly squeezed."
Buffy pushed the bag away and stared at Angel. "I was so ready for you to be him."
"I was too." Angel cupped Buffy's cheek with his hand and kissed her gently. "But I'm here."
"What happens now?"
"Well, we go to that pre-ritual thing. It starts in half an hour."
"I meant with us."
"I know." He said gently. "After this is all over, we sit down and talk."
"Talking is something we don't do very well. We said everything there was to say a long time ago."
"I don't think we have. Otherwise, that wouldn't have happened last night." Angel gently lifted her to her feet, making sure the sheet still covered her. "Are you ok?"
Buffy shook her head as more tears fell down her cheeks. "I was so scared. I'm still scared."
Angel held her tightly. "Shh, you're ok. We're ok." He kissed her gently, stroking her cheek. "Don't cry."
"I'm sorry. I just didn't expect to wake up to this."
"Neither of us did."
There was a knock on the door. "Open up!" Spike called from the other side.
Angel walked over and opened the door enough for Spike to see just him. "We'll be down in a few minutes."
"Where's Buffy?"
"She just woke up. We'll meet you down there."
"Just woke up?" Spike sniffed and stared at Angel in horror. "What did you do?"
"Spike!"
Spike burst through the door, shoving Angel out of the way, and grabbed Buffy up. "Come on, pet. We gotta get you outta here."
"Spike!" Angel yelled again. "Damn it, what are you doing?"
"Saving the bird from you, ya soulless git!"
"Spike, I'm not Angelus." Angel moved in front of the door, blocking Spike's exit.
"Yeah, and I'm the Virgin Mary. Not bloody likely." He moved to dodge past Angel, but Buffy yanked free of him. "What's this, then?"
"Spike, he's not Angelus." Buffy said.
"But... you two..." Buffy nodded, making sure she was covered. "How? Did Willow..."
"We don't know." Angel said.
After a second, Spike's face went from shocked to outraged. "What the hell are you two thinking? We've got one mass murderer on the loose in here, where we can't get out of, might I remind you. Were you trying to set another on the prowl too?"
"We weren't thinking." Angel said.
"It just happened." Buffy said at the same time.
"You know, that's the reason you two can't keep your mitts off each other. You never bleedin' think! What if he had turned into Angelus? Everyone here would be dead, including yours truly, and the Slayer would be a Vampire-Vampire Slayer, not a smart combination there bright bulbs!"
"We know all of this Spike." Angel said, exasperated.
Spike shook his head and looked at Angel. "You know, I know she's pretty irresistible, mate. Been there, done that, no pun intended on that last part. But you've got to work on that control issue. You showed some control with Nina and..."
"Nina?" Buffy asked.
"His werewolf girl."
"Spike..." Angel warned.
"Nina? I thought..." Buffy paused. "You have a girlfriend?"
"She's not my girlfriend."
"They had breakfast." Spike said.
"Are you mental in some way?" Angel asked, spinning towards Spike.
"I don't believe in lying to her. She would've found out about Nina sooner or later."
"Why did you lie to me? I asked you... you said you didn't have anyone." Buffy said.
"Because I don't. She's not my girlfriend." Angel said, moving closer to Buffy. "She's just someone who I considered having a relationship with. Now that you're back..."
"Oh, what? She was going to be 'just the girl on the side'?"
"You know I would never do that to you."
"Did you plan this?" Buffy gestured to the carpet and herself.
"No!"
"Did you make some deal with Wolfram and Hart to... to bind your soul so you could feel less guilty for screwing random chicks and risking the safety of...
"No! Buffy, I don't know why I still have my soul. But I didn't make any other deals with Wolfram and Hart and..."
"Other deals?" Spike asked. "What other deals?"
"Stay out of this, Spike!" Angel growled dangerously. He turned back to Buffy. "I had no clue you were even coming to see me. How could I have planned this?"
"I don't know." Buffy said.
"Buffy, please..."
Willow walked in. "Oh my!"
"Welcome to the party, Red." Spike said.
"What's going on?" She looked at Buffy. "Are you... naked? Oh no..."
"We've covered this!" Angel said. "Would you people please leave so I can talk to Buffy alone?"
"I'm not sure I want to leave you alone with her." Spike said.
"I'm not going to hurt her."
"Sure."
"Spike, we should just go." Willow said. "It's just a pre-ritual. I'm sure nothing will happen tonight."
"No." Buffy said. "I'm going. I just need to get dressed. So, all of you... Please leave."
"Are you sure, cause..."
"Please just go." Willow glanced at Buffy and then pulled Spike out of the room. Angel still stood there. "That means you too, Angel."
"But..." Angel stopped when Buffy shot him a menacing glare. He turned slowly and walked out of the room. He shut the door behind him and leaned against the wall next to it.
"Angel..." Willow walked over to him. "It was the protection spell."
"What?"
"The protection spell that was placed on you here... It's keeping your soul intact." She paused, lowering her voice. "If you want... Angel, I could try binding your soul. I'm sure with all the resources here, I could probably find something." Angel looked up at her and she smiled slightly. "Angel, she's happiest with you. She didn't make the decision to take Dana from you. That was Giles. When she found out... She stopped talking to Giles for about a month."
"Why didn't she tell me?"
"Because she was afraid that you hated her for it."
"I could never hate her."
"She knows that. But she's scared, Angel. Her and men... Well, they don't mesh. That's only cause she's so lost in you, she can't really see the men. That's why Riley left. She kept looking for you in him and obviously he wasn't you, so she gave up. And Spike... Well, that's obvious. He vampire, you vampire..." Angel shook his head. "You don't have to come tonight. Tell Buffy we'll see her later."
"Are you sure?"
"I've got Spike. Talk to her, Angel. I know you love her." Willow placed her hand on his cheek and nodded, turning and walking away with Spike in tow.
Angel waited and then opened the door. Buffy was just slipping on her shirt. "I thought I said..." She started. But Angel walked purposefully over to her, scooped her into his arms, and kissed her passionately. She gave in immidietly, clinging to him.
"Buffy, I love you and no one else." He whispered in her ear. "I want no one but you."
"Me too, Angel. I love you. I want you." She clung to him desperately. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry about all of it."
Angel pulled her even closer. "Buffy, make love to me."
She stopped. "What about the pre-ritual?"
"Willow doesn't need us. She said..."
"What about your soul?"
"It's protected."
"What about after we leave?"
"Willow said she was going to find a way to bind it." He didn't let her speak again, crushing his lips to hers.
Buffy lay in Angel's arms, completely content and satisfied. Except for... "Nina." Buffy said. "What is she to you?"
Angel looked down at her, gently stroking her back. "She's just a woman I saved. She was cute, but I don't feel about her the way I feel about you."
"But do you like her?"
"I did. But all thoughts of her dissipated when you walked through my office door."
"Really?" She wrapped her arms tighter around Angel and kissed his chest.
He suddenly felt very, very guilty. "Buffy..." Angel paused.
"Mmm... Yeah?"
"When I get back to LA... When we get back... There's something... I have to do something."
Buffy looked up at him, confused but happy. "Ok. If it's propose, my answer's yes. You don't have to wait."
Angel sighed, sat up, and looked away from her at the empty fireplace. "There are... There are things that I have to do. Things that I've already set in motion that, uh..." He glanced at her confused face. "I know I've spent years fighting to get somewhere... to accomplish something... and now that I'm close to it... I don't like what I see, what I am."
Buffy touched his face. "You're a hero."
"Buffy, that word..."
"You're my hero." She said softly.
"I may not always be."
Buffy kissed Angel gently. "Angel, you could never not be a hero in my eyes." He didn't look at her. "Angel, talk to me." Still nothing. "Angel, if you're in trouble... Please tell me. I want to help you."
"I don't know if you can."
"Well, I can certainly try if you just tell me what's going on."
Deciding he could tell Buffy, he looked at her very seriously. "Have you heard of the Circle of the Black Thorn?"
"Sounds familiar."
"It's a group of very powerful demons. They have a lot of sway in the demon community."
"I'd have to talk to Giles. Why?"
"I'm trying to get them to notice me so I can... join their ranks."
Buffy's brow furrowed and she looked at him confused. "Why?"
"To destroy them."
"Oh."
"I took over Wolfram and Hart because I wanted to do good. Kill the best from the inside out. The Circle... it's my way of getting to the Senior Partners."
"Angel, that's suicide!"
"I know." He looked away.
Buffy touched his cheek gently and forced him to look at her. "What can I do to help?"
"What?"
"Angel, I can't let you have all the fun."
"Buffy, it's too dangerous. I don't..."
"Uh, hi... I walked into the Hellmouth, which was full of Turok-Han by the way, with a group of about twnety-five POTENTIAL Slayers, a souled vampire, and a fellow Slayer. And I walked away from it."
He looked at her determined face. "Are you sure?"
"Angel, I'm with you till the end."
"Even if I do things that will probably hurt you."
"The only thing that could hurt me would be you walking away from me again. Anything else, I think I can handle."
Angel kissed her deeply yet gently. "I love you."
She touched his cheek, tracing the outline of his jaw with her index finger. "I love you."
