A/N: Thank you, readers, for liking the story so far T-T And thank you for reviewing! It motivates me to work harder!


"Fuck." Natsu stormed into the hotel room, slamming the door behind him. "Fuck everything." He kicked a wall, not enough to break it but enough to rattle the lamp it held, and flung himself onto the couch.

It had only been for a second, and then the tattoo vanished. Not a moment after Mard Geer disappeared with the book, Natsu had run away from the shocked stares of his friends. He could hardly contain how upset he was by this. The ultimate demon Tartarus was trying to resurrect, the demon even his own father had failed to destroy, was none other than Natsu himself. And he had to find out in front of everybody. In front of Lucy.

Speaking of Lucy, his ears picked up the sound of her picking the lock. He should've known that not having the room key wouldn't stop her from following him all the way to the inn. She was stubborn like that.

"Lucy, don't," he said, loudly, but it was too late. The door swung open, and Lucy strode in, quietly closing it behind her. She sat down next to him on the couch.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

He looked at her with dead eyes. Did he really look like he was okay? Would anyone be okay after what he'd just experienced?

"I guess that's a silly question," Lucy amended, looking sheepish.

"I could feel it," Natsu said. He looked down at his palms. "That moment when the tattoo appeared, I could feel this…hatred."

"END," Lucy said to herself.

Natsu nodded. "I— I never felt it inside of me before, but after that, I can. I can tell there's something here. It was only awakened for a moment, but I can still feel it stirring, I can…" He cut himself off, putting his head in his hands and pulling at his hair. He wanted to tear it out. He needed to destroy something, anything—

"Natsu. Natsu!"

He stopped. Her hand rested gently on his shoulder, and he couldn't even bring himself to look up. So instead, she bent down and put her face in front of his, eyes reassuring.

"Natsu. You're fine. It's going to be okay."

He looked at her, forlorn. It felt like his chest was in pain, but he knew he was uninjured. "No, Lucy, it's not."

"You're fine now."

"No."

"Nothing happened. You're okay."

He stood up and shouted, "How can you say nothing happened?"

She shrank back.

"Sorry," he said, sitting back down. "I'm just a little on edge."

Lucy smiled a little. She took his hand in hers, rubbing her thumb along the backs of his fingers. "I understand."

His eyes met hers, and that familiar yearning bloomed in his chest. Everything was going wrong, but she was still here, and right now he needed that reassurance. Every part of him seemed drawn toward her. To the feeling of her hand in his and her other hand resting on his arm. To the kindness in her eyes. To safety.

Her lips parted, slowly. "Natsu, you know, I—"

He unconsciously licked his lips, and whatever she was about to say died on her tongue. Her eyes glanced down at his mouth, then back up.

The tension in the air had already been thick, but now it almost seemed tangible.

Slowly, hesitantly, he leaned forward. He watched carefully as her eyelids drooped and her head tilted ever so slightly to the right. Green light.

Natsu's heart hammered in his chest as Lucy grabbed fistfuls of his shirt and his own hands found their way around her back to clutch at the frayed edges of her halter-top. Fire thrummed in his veins. Lucy's lips were soft, and warm.

It was she who pulled back first. "Natsu…" she breathed. She relaxed her arms around his neck, letting out a long breath. The sensation of her fingers trailing down the back of his neck sent a pleasant shiver up Natsu's spine. Her eyes flickered up at the movement.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "I don't know why, but when I'm with you, I—" He choked on the words. Suddenly he felt like he was going to cry.

"You can tell me," she said gently, brushing her fingers through his hair. She pushed his bangs from his eyes and looked into them earnestly. "Hm?"

He glanced away, heat rising to his cheeks. "Gods, this is embarrassing," he muttered.

Lucy suddenly hugged him, pressing her body against his in a way that had his heart rate spiking again. "I know you have a hard time talking about these things," she said. Her fingers curled against his back. "But I'm here, you know. I'm listening. I care. You can trust me."

Natsu rested his cheek on the top of her head. "I know," he said. He thought back to that conversation with Erza; it felt so long ago now, but he still hadn't done as he was instructed. He couldn't put it off any longer. There were things Lucy deserved to know before things went any further.

He took Lucy's shoulders and pushed him away from her. He turned, sitting forward on the couch. He couldn't look at her.

"First," he said, "there is something I need to tell you."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lucy nod and mimic his seating position. "Okay," she said.

"I need to tell you about…about Lisanna." His tongue almost tripped over the name. It was still so hard to talk about, after all this time. But he had to force himself. No more secrets.

"Who's Lisanna?" Lucy asked.

"She was my best friend."

"But she's not anymore?"

Natsu shook his head, tears springing to his eyes. He fought them back. "No. She died. And it was my fault."

There was a pause. "Tell me about it," she said. Her voice was gentle.

"She was Mirajane and Elfman's sister," Natsu began. "She was the first one to say hi to me when I joined Fairy Tail. We were best friends growing up. We…we were childhood sweethearts, I guess. But then one day—"

"One day?" Lucy prompted.

Natsu swallowed the lump in his throat. "We went on a job, see. Me, Lisanna, and Elfman. It was just supposed to be his job, but I insisted on tagging along, and Lisanna came with me. He tried to get us to stay in Magnolia, but I thought I was strong enough to go, too."

"Were you?"

"Maybe," Natsu said, "but Lisanna wasn't. I'm a dragon slayer so my stamina is better than most people with my level of training, but Lisanna was just a normal mage. And we were both too young to go on jobs by ourselves, which was why I wanted to tag along with Elfman."

"You wanted to prove yourself."

"Exactly."

"People die on jobs sometimes, don't they?" Lucy said. "Just because she was following you doesn't mean you killed her."

"Well, it's a little more than that," Natsu said. He clenched his hands. "That guy with the cursey doll. It wasn't him, but someone with the same doll, a brother or partner maybe."

"Oh. I remember that."

"Yeah. Lisanna and I were just kids, but we both had magic so we fought as backup for Elfman, I guess. But when I went in for a punch once, he must've gotten a strand of my hair because next thing I knew, I couldn't control my own body.

"At first it was just what you'd expect; he twisted me in ways my body didn't naturally go, and aimed a bunch of punches at Elfman. But then he decided to go after Lisanna. Using me."

Lucy nodded along, listening intently. Guilt began to settle in. He should've told her about all this a month ago when she'd confided in him about her own demons; he'd procrastinated this talk for so long it almost felt surprising she didn't already know by now. But he was the reason she didn't know. He was such a coward.

He told her everything. About his panicked mind trapped inside a body it couldn't control. About Lisanna, and how she struggled underneath him. About Elfman, about how he'd gotten to Natsu too late to save his sister. About how, by the time they got her to a healer, she was already dead.

As he finished his story, he couldn't look at Lucy. He was afraid he'd turn around and see horror in her eyes.

There was a long silence.

"It must've been hard to live with that," Lucy said finally.

An unexpected response. Usually people's first reaction was to tell him not to blame himself.

He told her as much.

"Well of course it's not your fault," Lucy said. "But I know what it's like to blame yourself for something nobody thinks is your fault. And it's hard. The fact that you know you shouldn't be blaming yourself just makes you feel even worse."

"For me, it's the fact that nobody else blames me that makes me feel worse," Natsu said. "She literally died by my hands. And yet, they keep telling me it's not my fault, that I was helpless in that situation. And you know what? Maybe I was. But that doesn't make it any less my fault that it happened the way it did."

"Is this what you meant when you said you weren't free?" Lucy asked.

"Yeah," Natsu said. "I've spent the last couple years staying away from Magnolia as much as possible. I only visit for a day or two. Before I took you there, I hadn't been back in two months."

She sat up straight. "Wait, you made me eat two-month-old bread?" she exclaimed.

Natsu laughed. "Nah, it wouldn't still be that clean if it was two months old. Probably more like two weeks. Mira drops off food sometimes."

"That's nice of her."

"She worries too much."

"You all have been together since you were young, so of course she'd worry and care."

"They're just putting on a brave face. After I killed her, Mira and Elf couldn't even look at me for months."

"But they still love you. You're guildmates. Aren't all guildmates like family?"

Natsu had a sudden though of how nice it would be to become family with Lucy. Not guild family, real family. But that was a sinful thought that he could never say out loud.

So instead he snuggled into the crook of her neck, letting her hold him, thumb tracing circles on his bicep and chin tucked over the top of his head. Here like this, he could faintly hear the sound of her heart beating even faster than his. He smiled. Maybe someday, many months from now, he would ask Lucy to be his family. But for now, he was just happy she listened to his story. All else could come after.

"Natsu."

He shifted. "Hm?"

"We'll work through this together. This END thing, I mean. You have your friends by your side, and I'm here too. We won't let anything bad happen to you."

"Can I kiss you again?"

He heard her heart rate increase instantly. She put her hands on his shoulders and pushed him to arm's length so she could plant a chaste kiss on his lips. "I'm glad I found you that night. I never would have imagined I'd actually make friends, let alone what I have with you. But no more secrets, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled.

"So?"

"So…?"

"You said 'first' before. What's second?"

"Oh. That." He fidgeted, embarrassed. "It's just, I put off telling you about it for so long, so before we got any closer, I needed to tell you. Last time I liked a girl, I killed her."

Lucy seemed to get where his trepidation came from. "The cursey doll is destroyed, as is the last person who used it. You made sure of that. What happened with Lisanna will never happen again. And no matter what this whole END thing means, I have my spirits looking out for me."

"Loke would probably beat me up even if it did happen again," Natsu said.

"Exactly. So don't worry about me," Lucy said.

It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his chest. He knew Lucy wouldn't leave him over something like this, but that small insecure part of him had been so terrified. Now that that part of him had been proved wrong, it was a huge relief. She didn't hate him. She knew about it, and she didn't hate him.

Now they both knew each other's deep, dark secrets. Come to think of it, both of their secrets involved them killing someone. After today's events, it looked like Natsu had one more secret to bring to light, but the whole END thing was something even he didn't know about himself. He wasn't sure he wanted to know, either.

Lucy's forehead pressed into his shoulder for a moment before she sat up straight again. The touch pulled him from his thoughts.

"Natsu," she said, her tone trailing upwards in that cheerful way of hers.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

Heat rose to his face. Oh. They were calling it love already? Not that Natsu minded, of course. Love had many forms, and the fondness they felt for each other was certainly one of them.

"I love you more," he mumbled, trying not to grin like an idiot.

Lucy scolded him for that. "It's not a contest," she said, but she was smiling even wider than he was. Her hand found its way to his and their fingers twined together. "I love you. We've been through a lot together since meeting each other, and you're my best friend. If I didn't like you, I'd tell you, so stop listening to whatever part of you is telling you I'd hate you over something like this and just trust in my feelings for you. Okay?"

Natsu nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

Was this level of happiness even allowed? After the earth-shattering revelation that he was the END Tartaros was trying to revive, this kind of emotional euphoria ought to be illegal.

But it just felt so right. One sadness balanced by one happiness. Granted one had the potential to wipe out the entire continent, but at this moment, the gravity of the two seemed equal. He was just so happy.

Lucy slowly withdrew her hand from his. "Let's go back to the others," she said. "They'll be worried."

"Can't we just wait until they come here instead?" Natsu said, putting an arm around Lucy's waist to pull her closer and prevent her from leaving the couch. She met his eyes, and next thing he knew, their faces were close again, her forehead leaning against his. Their noses lightly brushed each other, and Natsu wondered how many more times he'd have to kiss her to be satisfied.

"Fine," she said, closing her eyes as she leaned into him. "Just a little longer."

"Mm."

"We really do have to talk about what happened."

"Mm."

"Are you even listening to me?"

He met her eyes and smirked. "Mm."

Laughing, she pushed his shoulder in mock irritation only to have her smile captured by his lips. If ignorance was bliss, then he was going to let himself be blissful for a little while longer.


A/N: Kisses and angst and affection and mushy stuff :3 These sorts of chapters are the most fun to write haha

Good news: starting last chapter, I've started condensing some planned chapters into one chapter. Like...I have chapters split up by major plot points. They don't have titles, just "this happens sometime during this chapter" and sometimes it makes more sense for me to combine two plot points into one chapter. Last chapter was just supposed to be a fight with Silver, with Chapter 28 as the END reveal. I put them into the same chapter instead, moving everything else up by one chapter number. This will probably help me a lot, since it's been getting harder and harder to write enough to fill a whole chapter for some things. Plans change! I didn't have the plot all figured out when I wrote my outline, so changes are good!

This also means the story will probably be under 40 chapters, not 43 like originally planned, which is the point I'm trying to make by explaining all this. And a shorter story is for the better in this case.

As always, thanks for reading! ^^