Chapter 10

Dawn and Buffy sat in their little caza in Italy almost a year after Buffy had returned. Angel hadn't needed a second front. He had managed to take out the Senior Partners. It had come at a price and Buffy had wanted to go to him, but she couldn't. Willow hadn't found a way to bind his soul. Buffy had moped around the entire year and finally, Dawn had gotten Buffy to open up and talk to her about what had happened so long ago and how she felt now.

"Buffy, you know that you don't always have to do the right thing. If you want Angel and you love him…."

"Dawn…. I can't. Ok, Angel and I can't be together. I did the right thing and walked away." Buffy said, not looking at Dawn.

"You know what? That's one thing you both were always good at: Walking away."

That made Buffy looked at her. "That hurts."

"Good! It's the truth. If it's something you can't handle, you just walk away. You know, I used to look up to you because I thought that there was nothing you couldn't face down. But now….. Buffy, you're not THE Slayer anymore. You're just A Slayer. The world doesn't depend on just you anymore."

"But Dawn, if Angel and I….."

"Then don't. You did it before. I know it was hard for you. I lived in the same house. But you still worked through it. And Willow is powerful. She'll find a way to bind Angel's soul."

"It's been a year. If she hasn't found it by now…."

"Doesn't mean anything except that she's still working on it and that means she'll find a way. She promised you."

"But even if she does…. I'm still human. I'm still going to die eventually and he'll go on living. I don't want him to feel so awful after I…." Buffy shook her head. "I can't put him through that."

"He'll go through it whether you're together or not." Dawn looked at Buffy, but her sister wouldn't meet her gaze. "You should have seen him when you died last time. No one could comfort him. He ran off to a monastery in Timbuktu or someplace. He loves you, Buffy. He loves you more than he loves anything else. He loves you so much he would walk out into the sun if you asked him to. No matter what, you two are connected. Even I can feel the connection there."

Buffy shook her head and stood up, walking out of the caza as she said, "I just can't, Dawn. You wouldn't understand." And then she shut the door behind her.

Dawn sighed and picked up the phone. She dialed Willow's number and waited. "It's not working." She said when she heard Willow's end connect.

"You can't convince her to go to him?" Willow said.

"No. She just makes excuses and then leaves."

"Well, the only way for the spell to work is if they…. You know…."

"Then we have to tell them."

"If they know, it won't work. Besides, you can't just say 'have sex' and expect them to. Talk about performance anxiety."
Dawn laughed. "Then how are we going to get them together?" There was a long silence on the other end. "Willow?"

"I gotta go."

"Wait, Will….." The line went dead before she could get out the witch's name. "Whatever you're planning better work."


Willow floated around the decrepit Hyperion hotel. Angel hadn't bothered to keep it up since he was the only one who lived here now. Gunn, Spike, and Illyria hadn't made it out of the alley. Only Angel had. Willow felt awful for him and she felt even worse because he couldn't have the one thing that would make everything ok.

And then, as if that wasn't bad enough, she felt even worse about what she was about to do. How she had conjured up images so horrible, she would never know. But it had to be done to get Angel and Buffy back together. So, here Willow was, astral projecting into Angel's home (so he wouldn't know she was there) and sending him horrific nightmares of Buffy's impending doom. Sure, it wasn't true, but Willow knew that if Buffy was in that much danger, Angel would run to rescue her.


Angel slept fitfully, memories of that night in the ally haunting his sleep as well as his waking hours. He blamed himself for the last of his friends dieing. He shouldn't have asked them to risk their lives. And afterwards, he had wanted to go to Buffy and have her hold him and tell him everything would be ok, but he couldn't. His soul still had the loophole and he couldn't ask Buffy to drop everything for him.

Then, he felt peace. In his dreams, he saw Buffy's beautiful face smiling down at him. They stood on a beach, the sound of the waves lapping against the sand and going back out to the ocean brought even more serenity to the scene. He approached her, stretching out his arms to embrace her, but his arms wrapped around air.

'Buffy?' Angel called, his voice echoing off of nothing. He turned around and instead of finding sand and a beach, he found a dark street in Rome. 'Buffy?' He called again. The ocean scene was still behind him and he didn't want to loose it, but he had to find Buffy. So, he began to walk through the abandoned city of Rome. He called out for her, but she didn't answer.

There was a scream from somewhere nearby and Angel began to run. He ran for all he was worth, just knowing that the scream belonged to Buffy. It felt like an eternity, but he finally rounded a corner and found a pack of demons circling a broken and severely bleeding Buffy. While the others circled her, one demon turned to look at him.

'She is dead and there's nothing you can do.'

Angel shook his head and watched Buffy for any signs of life. But there were none. 'Buffy!'

The demon laughed. 'Soon, vampire. Soon she will die and our master will be free! It is written. Chaos lives!'

Angel bolted upright in bed and looked around the dark room. He was alone as always, but the dream lingered in his mind. It was prophetic. He didn't know how he knew it, he just did. And he didn't question it. Without thinking another thing, he jumped out of bed and threw some clothes in a duffel bag. The next ship that left LA would have a stowaway onboard.


Buffy sat alone in her caza in Rome starting out at the beautiful cityscape outside her bay window. Willow had summoned Dawn to England for some vague reason and Dawn had left immediately, telling her to find a man. Buffy had given up on men a long time ago, though. After the ordeal at the mages convention and with Angel, she had completely given up. Buffy knew she was destined to be alone. It hurt, but she accepted it like everything else in her life.

She hadn't heard from Angel since she had left him at Wolfram and Hart. The demon, Lorne was his name, had come to her a few weeks later to tell her that Angel was still alive, but everyone else had died. Buffy asked if Lorne was going back to LA, but he said he was done with all of that and just wanted to disappear. But he felt like Buffy should know since Angel wouldn't pick up a phone and call her. Buffy's first instinct had been to leave Italy right then and go to him, but she had stopped herself.

That wasn't her place. She couldn't comfort him without it leading to more. They couldn't resist each other any longer and that pretty much doomed the world if they were to come together again. So, she chose to stay in Italy and watch after Dawn and try to move on. But she just couldn't and that left her wandering the caza or the streets of Rome in a state of depression. She had met a guy called The Immortal a few days after she got back to Italy, but she couldn't bring herself to work at the relationship and it had fallen apart less than a month after it had begun. That left her wondering if Angel was happy with Nina now.

Buffy shook her head and moved away from the window. She didn't want to entertain that thought anymore. It hurt too much. She started to go to her room to just lay down and sleep…. Maybe forever…. When a knock on the door stopped her. Something kept her from going to the door, though. She knew who was on the other side. The knock came again, even softer than before, and she took a step towards the door, staring at it, willing it to open by itself.

"I'm in a dream, that's all." Buffy said to herself. She pinched her arm and let out a cry. Suddenly, the door burst open and Angel rushed in, looking around for signs of trouble.

"Buffy!" He yelped.

"Angel…." Buffy breathed, not really believing he was here.

"What happened? I heard you cry out."

"I pinched myself." She said, feeling foolish for actually admitting it.

"You…. Why?"

Buffy couldn't answer. She was enamored with Angel's appearance. His hair was longer than she remembered it being and he had the shadow of a goatee. He was incredibly pale, even more so than usual and Buffy wondered if he'd stopped eating. His clothes clung to his chiseled muscles, which seemed to be a lot more pronounced than she remembered. Everything about him was different except for the wave of sadness that seemed to accompany him. She could see it in his eyes. The hurt and the pain and the agony and…. The loneliness. God, she felt that last part just as much as he did.

"Are you ok?" Angel asked, wanting to move closer, but keeping his distance.

Buffy shook her head and stared at him. "What are you doing here?"

"Something's wrong. You're in trouble."

"I'm fine."

"No. I had a dream about you. These demons…. They're going to sacrifice you their master."

Buffy was confused. "No, Angel. I'm fine. There are no demons that are after me."

"No. I dreamt it."

Buffy paused. "How did you get in here without an invitation?"

Angel glanced at the door. "I was here before."

"When?"

"Andrew let me in. It was about a week after…. Spike and I were here to get the head of this demon to save LA. I came by because I heard you were dating The Immortal." Angel stopped. "He's not here, is he?"

Buffy shook her head. "We're not together. I don't know where he is."

This time neither one of them spoke or moved. They just stood there, staring at the other. It was Angel who broke the silence. "You look…."
"Don't go there." Buffy regretted saying the words so harshly. "Angel, we can't. Please don't look at me like that."

Angel looked away. "I'm sorry. I just…. I thought you were in danger."

"I'm always in danger."

"But…. This time is different."

"How?"

"I dreamed about you. And it was real."

"You don't have prophetic dreams."

"No, I had visions."

"Visions? Like Cordelia?"

Angel flinched at the mention of his ex…. Whatever she had been to him. He had loved her, but it had been a lie on her part. She had been controlled by Jasmine. His feelings for her hadn't changed, though…. Even after she had betrayed him with Connor and then been put into a coma. Then she had come back to him and gave him the visions before she died. And he knew that Cordelia and Buffy had been…. Sort of friends, but still having Buffy utter her name was like she was condemning him for having those feelings towards Cordelia.

Instead of saying that, he just nodded. "Yes. Like Cordelia."

"And you had a vision about me?" Angel nodded. "What happened?" Angel told her about the dream, in graphic detail, and Buffy shook her head. "That doesn't make any sense. Rome abandoned? That'll never happen. And you said the demons looked like tall blue furry things with horns? Like that monster in Monsters Inc.?"

"In what?"

"A movie." Buffy went to a cabinet by her large TV and pulled out a DVD box. She showed it to Angel and there stood a demon from his dream.

"That's it! That's the demon."

"Doesn't exist." Buffy pointed to a spot on the box. "It's a Disney movie. Willow's favorite, to be exact."

"What do you mean?"

"Those two…. They planned this."

"I'm confused."

"Willow and Dawn have been talking secretly for the last couple of months. They think I don't know, but there's pretty much nothing that goes on in this caza that I don't know about. They've both been pushing me to go to see you for some reason or another." Buffy sighed. "I'm sorry, Angel, but there's no danger. Just a mischievous witch and a prying sister." Angel stared at her for a moment and then started to laugh. Buffy shook her head and chuckled to herself, but she couldn't bring herself to laugh. She hadn't laughed in a very, very long time. Her chuckles turned to sobs and tears fell down her cheeks. She suddenly felt everything she had pushed aside in the last year. The loneliness, the pain, the need…. Everything. And now that he was here….

"Buffy…." Angel whispered her named as if it was a prayer and went to her, wrapping her in his arms.

"I'm so sorry, Angel. I wanted to come to you, I did, but I was scared…."

"I didn't come to you for the same reasons. It's not your fault."

"But you lost your friends. You were all alone. I should have…. I'm sorry."

Angel just held her to him. They both knew that it was too dangerous to be touching each other so intimately. And Angel really pushed it when he pressed his lips to her hair, breathing in her scent. Buffy allowed the indulgence for a moment before pushing away and retreating to her bay window seat. Angel walked over and sat down on the other side, facing her. He looked out at the city.

"You have a beautiful view." He said.

"That's why I picked it." Buffy said quietly. She stared out the window for a long moment and then looked at Angel. He was staring out the window lost in his thoughts. "I'm glad you're ok."

"I shouldn't have made it." Angel said quietly. "There were so many of them. Too many."

Buffy curled her legs underneath her. "But you did make it through."

"Gunn, he was pretty much gone before he started. The vampires had injured him. Then Spike got taken down and I thought he would be ok…. But I heard the sound. The sound of a vampire dusting. Then it was just me and Illyria fighting."

"What about Wesley?"

"He didn't even make it to the battle. Vail killed him."

"What happened to Illyria?"

"I didn't see. I just…. Killed. I fought for my life, and yours, and when it was over. When the last demon was running away from me…. I saw Illyria laying there, staring up at the sky. The sun was starting to come up. I wanted to stay and…. I don't know, take them somewhere safe so I could bury them later, but…."

"The sun was coming up. You had no choice."

"I considered staying there and letting the sun take me, but your voice echoed in my head. You told me that strong is fighting. You reminded me that it was the coward's way out and I needed to live." Buffy nodded, remembering the Christmas Angel had tried to kill himself. Angel smiled slightly at Buffy. "You saved me again."

"Good." Buffy smiled back at Angel.

"Something's different with you."

"I'm a year older."

"No. Not your age. You. What's happened over the last year?"

"Nothing. And I mean that. Absolutely nothing."

"Are you seeing anyone?"

Buffy shook her head. "No. There's no one who…."

"I understand."

"How's Nina?"

"I don't know. I sent her away before things got bad. I told her I would come to her, but I never did. She probably thinks I'm dead." Angel shrugged. "And I don't care."

"Where have you been staying? I mean, since you destroyed Wolfram and Hart and all…."

"The Hyperion."

"Oh."

"Maybe I should…." Angel started to get up, but Buffy stopped him.

"No. You can stay here. Dawn's in England. I'll sleep in her room. You can have my room."

"Buffy…."

"The sun's coming up soon." She pointed out the window at the sky that was starting to lighten with the sun's first rays.

"Oh."

"Come on. I'll show you where my room is." Buffy stood up and led Angel to her room. They waited a long, tense moment before Buffy backed out of the dark room and shut the door. She rushed into Dawn's room and laid in the bed, catching her breath.