Chapter 1 macaroni art

Ok this story is about Orochimaru and kabuto's family struggles Disclaimers- I don't own naruto, but it would be the coolest if I did Oh yeah this story takes place when the kids are 12

Kabuto: look dad look what I made Orochimaru: WOULD YOU SHUT UP, IAM WATCHING THE AMANDA SHOW!
Kabuto: but look I made this today in school.
Orochimaru: obviously not looking ah yeah that's nice TV cuts to commercials Ok hurry up you have 3 minutes before it comes back on and if I miss any of the Moody's point its your ass.
Kabuto: ok here look hands Orochimaru some papers
Orochimaru: What is this crap?
Kabuto: its my macaroni art I made today in class Orochimaru: can I eat it?
Kabuto: well …… I don't think so…
Orochimaru: GET IT OUT OF MY FACE Kabuto: no wait look points at picture this ones me, this is mommy…
Orochimaru: What is this points at pale yellow-eyed creature on paper
Kabuto: its you Orochimaru: …… are you saying I look like this?
Kabuto: well yeah I think it looks just like Orochimaru: what did you color me with?
Kabuto: a white crayon Orochimaru: let me get this straight you points at kabuto little four-eyed geek is saying I look like some pale skin yellow eyed monster?
Kabuto: I didn't saw that Orochimaru: but you were thinking it right Kabuto: I Orochimaru: SHUT UP! I didn't ASK YOU STUPID! Kabuto: …
Orochimaru: what is this second piece of crap?
Kabuto: OH, this one is a picture I drew it has all the people I love on it Orochimaru: stars at the picture where I am I on this one?
Kabuto: well you see… you're not on this picture Orochimaru: WHAT DO YOU MEAN I AM NOT ON THIS ONE!
Kabuto: I Orochimaru: OH BUT WAIT you drew your mother on this one huh, stares at picture YOUR MOTHER IS A BAD PERSON.
Kabuto: I just thought it would be nice to draw mommy Orochimaru: oh yes every always loves mommy! But When's dad going to be loved, DAD NEEDS LOVE TO YOU IDOT.
Kabuto: well you see… you're not that nice to me Orochimaru: oh yeah like I am so mean to you THE WAY I FEED YOU AND PUT A ROOF OVER YOUR SELFISH LITTLE HEAD! YOU KNOW WHAT take pictures and rips them up now clean up this mess Kabuto: yes sir Orochimaru: DARN YOU MADE ME MISS AMANDA!

was it good or shall i be met at my front door to be stoned... anyway Please reveiw!

Chapter 2 art

Disclaimers: sadly I do not own naruto; cause if I did the show just wouldn't be as good.

Next day Monday Art class

Orochimaru: ok monkeys! Today in art your going to draw the most handsome man you ever met Ino: I am going to draw Sasuke-kun Sakura: yeah me too Ino: You can't draw him cause I am Sakura: no Ino pig me Orochimaru: SHUT UP no one is going to draw the Uchiha brat cause your all drawing me, the most handsome man you ever met. Ino: EW! You're the last thing that comes to mind when someone says handsome Orochimaru: I thought I told you to shut up! Now get working Ino: walks over to Sasuke desk Mr. Orochimaru Sasuke-kun's not doing his right Orochimaru: WHAT DOING MEAN HES NOT DOING IT RIGHT?
Ino: COME LOOK Orochimaru: gets up to go look let me take a look Sasuke: put his arms over his picture
Orochimaru: get out of my way Uchiha grabs Sasuke by his hair HOLY SHIT, THE BIG MOUTH BLOND IS RIGHT THIS PICTURE IS CRAP!
Sakura: walks over to Sasuke's desk what are you talking about it looks exactly like you.
Orochimaru: looks at sakura no one ask you forehead NOW GET YOUR ASS BACK IN THAT CHAIR. Grabs Sasuke paper rips it up and threw the pieces at Sasuke Now start over hands Sasuke a new sheet of paper and this one better look good!

Hours later The kids just turned in their art, and Orochimaru called all the teachers to his class

Orochimaru:puts all the pictures on his desk What wrong with this pictures Asuma: pulls out a cigarette they were drawn by children Orochimaru: that too Aires: I think there lovely, but um who were they suppose to be drawing Orochimaru: looks at Aires It was supposed to be me.
Kurenai: what was the assignment?
Orochimaru: they had to draw the most handsome, perfect person they knew, and naturally they chose me.
All the teachers start coughing Iruka: but why would they want to draw you?
Mizuki: I agree why would they draw you when that can draw someone handsome Orochimaru: looks at Iruka and Mizuki I don't even know why your even here your not teachers and I don't even like you.
Aires: picks up a picture this ones pretty good Orochimaru: snatches picture from Aires and looks at it Aires shut up you obviously know nothing about fine art.
Gai: this pictures look exactly like you.
Orochimaru: no they don't every last one of these points at pictures every last one has skin as white as snow if not whiter the eyes are yellow my eyes are obviously gleaming gold!
Aires: but Orochimaru: SHUT UP... NOT…FINISHED I caught that Sasuke kid saying his white crayon wasn't white enough for me; it took all my strength not to snap his tiny neck.
Iruka: I don't see why you're getting so work up for their only children.
Mizuki: yeah Orochimaru: looks at Mizuki and Iruka why the hell are you still here? GET OUT!
Kakashi: walks in Teachers: looks over at Kakashi
Orochimaru: well look who it is, who are you Gai: its Kakas Orochimaru: SHUT UP NO ITS NOT! It's Mr. To good to come and speak to Orochimaru Kakashi: well I am here now Orochimaru: ON TIME?
Kakashi: no Asuma: hey this pictures not even you Orochimaru: grabs picture DAMN, someone drew the Sasuke kid.
Gai: let me see Orochimaru: NO!
Gai: what do you mean no Orochimaru: NO! This picture was never here Kurenai: but we just saw it Orochimaru: rips up picture and throws the pieces at the teachers this picture was never and neither were all of you!
Teachers: …
Orochimaru: get… OUT!
Teachers: runs out the class…standing in the hallway
Asuma: … well Gai: seems like he's in a good mood today.
Kakashi: yeah usually he tries to throw things at us.
Orochimaru: GET AWAY FROM MY CLASS ROOM!

Ok that's the end of chapter 2 I just love Orochimaru and making characters OOC

Chapter: 3 spaghetti O's

Disclaimer: naruto is NOT my creation I repeat NOT mine, so please don't sue me.
Ok her is the next chapter; sadly I didn't get a chance to put more Sasuke.

Aires: hey Orochimaru!
Orochimaru: what do you want TT Aires: I just go done talking to kabuto and he was trying to tell me something about macaroni or something.
Orochimaru: he must be talking about that lame excuse for art he showed me Aires: holds out hands Orochimaru: what? What do you want I don't have any money for you.
Aires: no I want to see his art Orochimaru: yeah... About that it kind of slipped and fell into the trash after I ripped it.
Aires: YOU RIPPED IT!
Orochimaru: YEAH it was a piece of crap you would have done the same thing if you saw it.
Aires: I can't believe you did tha Orochimaru: now would you excuse me I got to go feed my snake.

At home

Orochimaru: walks in to his house
Kabuto: tries to run up to his room
Orochimaru: grabs kabuto's shirt were do you think your going chump?
Kabuto: I am going go to my room Orochimaru: no, come here so your dad can get a good look at you picks kabuto off the floor by his shirt
Kabuto: …
Orochimaru: … yup still ugly drops kabuto now get your ass up stairs to wash up for dinner

10 minutes later Orochimaru: sitting at the dinner table waiting for kabuto to come down to dinner what the hell is taking him so long… KABUTO GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE IT DOESN'T TAKE ALL DAMN DAY TO WASH YOUR HANDS.
Kabuto: I am coming Orochimaru: what were you doing up there Kabuto: I was Orochimaru: SHUT UP, I don't even care anymore Kabuto: ok Orochimaru: eat your dinner so you can get the hell out of my face!
Kabuto: stares at his bowl spaghetti O's dad?
Orochimaru: what I thought you loved spaghetti O's Kabuto: no you do Orochimaru: WHAT I hate these things, You love them Kabuto: NO I DON'T Orochimaru: flips over table no one likes spaghetti O's, so fine no one eats tonight Kabuto: fine!
Orochimaru: …
Kabuto: …
Orochimaru: ok… I am hungry your hungry clean up this mess and we can go out to eat.
Kabuto: ok

I know I know its short but I just thought of this new scene to go in the next chapter Please leave me some reviews flames are allowed The stuff I put in these stories I find funny and yes I do have a strange sense of humor.

Chapter: 4 dinner Disclaimer: I do not own naruto /\

Orochimaru: THAT DAMN MESS CLEAN YET?
Kabuto: yes Orochimaru: excellent, now get in the car Kabuto: ok Drives and parks in front of a building
Orochimaru: now kabuto, do it just like we planned Kabuto: knocks on door
Orochimaru: hides next to the wall
Voice: I am not letting you in Orochimaru!
Kabuto: but mommy I am so hungry Aires: opens door oh my god starts hugging kabuto
Kabuto: GO DAD GO!
Orochimaru: pushes Aires Move! Runs through the door
Aires: NO GET OUT points at door LEAVE!
Orochimaru: NO, were hungry DAMNIT now feed us Aires: GO! Starts pulling on Orochimaru I don't have any food for you Orochimaru: walks towards kitchen sure you do! opens the door to see a romantic candle light dinner for two Aires what is this?
Aires: its dinner!
Orochimaru: With candles?
Aires: surprise, it's our romantic dinner Orochimaru: but you didn't even know I was coming over Aires: …thinks for a moment yeah I did I was just about to call you Orochimaru: Oh, well in that case lets eat!
Bathroom door opens, Kakashi comes out
Kakashi: Aires your out if toilet paper!
Orochimaru: AIRES WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?
Aires: um …well Kabuto: it Kakashi- sensei :D Aires: no its not!
Kabuto: yes it is :D Orochimaru: no wait hold on Kabuto: it Kakashi- sensei Orochimaru: SHUT YOUR ASS UP KABUTO! Stares at Kakashi hold on I remember you, you're the basterd that thinks he's too good to show up when I call for a meeting.
Kabuto: HI KAKASHI SENSEI
Orochimaru: looks over at kabuto don't you have something to do?
Kabuto: but…
Orochimaru: go find some business! Kabuto: walks away Orochimaru: ok now looks back over to Kakashi what are you doing here?
Kakashi: I was Aires: using the bathroom Orochimaru: THE BATHROOM, oh for a second there I thought you were fooling around with my ex Funny huh. Starts laughing Aires and Kakashi: …
Orochimaru: ha ha ha he heh hey why aren't you laughing?
Aires and Kakashi: nervously laughs ha ha hem Orochimaru: well any way I am hungry , hey Kakashi why don't you stay for dinner Kakashi: well I guess I could Aires: yeah lets eat Everyone starts to eat
Orochimaru: stops eating hold on,
Aires: …y yes…
Orochimaru: where the hell is kabuto? Kabuto: I am here Orochimaru: get your ass down here!
Kabuto: sits down at the table
Orochimaru: spits out food yuck what the f is this Aires: what wrong Orochimaru: THIS FOOD TASTE LIKE SAND PAPER AND STAMPS and what the hell is this green stuff Aires: its…
Kakashi: I thought it was peas Kabuto: mashed potatoes maybe? Aires: no its ham All the guys: drops forks and looks at the so-called ham ham?
Orochimaru: ham, Aires I don't know if you realized this but ham isn't green Aires: well this ham is Kakashi: and the smell?
Aires: I don't know maybes they used a different kind of pig Orochimaru: Aires I don't care what kind of pig they got this meat from it has no business smelling like this Aires: I don't know, maybe it isn't ham All the guys: spits food out in to napkin
Orochimaru: DAMNIT AIRES, I LOOK BETTER EATING THE RUBBER OFF THE BOTTOM OF MY BOOT, AT LEAST I KNOW WHAT IAM EATING!
Aires: YOU KNOW WHAT GET OUT!
Orochimaru: NOW I WON'T YOU STUPID EASY CHEEP…
Everyone: OO Kabuto: yeah, I think I better go runs upstairs
Aires: well guess what Orochimaru: what Aires: YOUR LAME IN THE SACK Kakashi: starts laughing Aires: that's right I went there Orochimaru: start yelling I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THIS ABUSE I AM LEAVING!
Kakashi: still laughing
Orochimaru: would you shut up! KABUTO GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!
Kabuto: but dad.
Orochimaru: starts stomping foot NOW!
Kabuto: runs downstairs
Orochimaru: looks over at Aires I hope your happy Aires: what!
Orochimaru: you ruined everyone's dinner with your smelly mystery meat Aires: GET OUT! Opens door
Orochimaru: FINE stomps out
Aires: slams the door
Kakashi: looking at Aires OO Aires: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
Kakashi: nothing much I was Aires: SHUT UP …NOT …FINISHED don't you have a home?
Kakashi: yes i…
Aires: GO TO IT stomps upstairs and slams the door
Kakashi: gets up and leaves

Well what do you think this is my very first story on leave reviews flames are excepted

Tokoyo kitty: hello every body I promised Sasuke he would get more parts, just not in this story. '

Chapter: 5 Disclaimer: ...how many times are you going to tell me to do this, the disclaimer totally bums me out but i guess it has to be done here goes nothing... I dont own naruto SO THERE I SAID IT ARE YOU HAPPY!
TT lets just get on with the story

(In Orochimaru's car)

Orochimaru: I cant believe that women…
Kabuto: dad Orochimaru: all I wanted was some food but NO she had to …
Kabuto: dad!
Orochimaru: I mean what the hell kind of meat was that anyway, Kabuto: DAD!
Orochimaru: WHAT THE HELL IS IT NOW!
Kabuto: clutching his seat can we please get into a lane (A/N: I never said Orochi-kun was a good driver)
Orochimaru: What's that suppose to mean currently taking up two lanes
Driver: LEARN HOW TO DRIVE!
Orochimaru: SHUT UP Asuma: GET INTO A LANE BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEONE! Looks over at Orochimaru
Orochimaru: YOU KNOW WHAT SCREW … looks over at Asuma you?
Asuma: … OO Orochimaru: … hey you're that one guy?
Driver 2: BURN IN HELL!
Orochimaru and Asuma: YOU FIRST!
Asuma: drives off Orochimaru: hey kabuto who was… Looks back at kabuto what the Kabuto: in the back seat crying
Orochimaru: stops car in the middle of the fast lane what the hell are you doing Kabuto: we are sniff going to sniff DIE!
Orochimaru: what's that suppose to mean? Turns off the car
Kabuto: PLEASE START DRIVING!
Orochimaru: hey shut up and stop telling me what to do! turns on car and starts driving
Kabuto: tears of joy start running down his face
Orochimaru: when we get home I want you to go to bed, ok?
Kabuto: …
Orochimaru: oh and by the way you did a terrible job cleaning my room.
Kabuto: sorry Orochimaru: but that's not even the best part,
Kabuto: it not?
Orochimaru: no… there's a bag on the floor next to your foot… pick it up.
Kabuto: pics up bag
Orochimaru: open it.
Kabuto: opens bag
Orochimaru: now what's in that bag?
Kabuto: I think its broken glass Orochimaru: now this is the part where you come in stops car in front of his house
Kabuto: it is?
Orochimaru: oh yes this is the part in the movie where you tell me what the hell was before it broke Kabuto: I am I think it was that glass Amanda Bynes …
Orochimaru: WHAT you broke my precious one of a kind Nickelodeon Amanda Bynes glass statue! Kabuto: y yeah Orochimaru: DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE I HAD TO KILL TO GET THAT STATUE!
Kabuto: yes I Orochimaru: NO I DON'T THINK YOU DO Kabuto: I am sorry Orochimaru: SORRY, sorry isn't going to repair or find me a new Amanda now is it!
Kabuto: dad!
Orochimaru: WHAT Kabuto: I am not the real enemy here Orochimaru: your not, then who the hell is Kabuto: nickelodeon Orochimaru: nickelodeon? What did that poor man do?
Kabuto: only made one statue Orochimaru: ...your right! I am going to call and complain right now! runs in to the house
Kabuto: that was close Orochimaru: WHAT ARE YOU DOING GET YOUR ASS IN THIS HOUSE!
Kabuto: yes sir! Runs in house
Orochimaru: picks up phone now what the hell is nickelodeon's number?
Kabuto: walks up to his room
Orochimaru: oh and kabuto Kabuto: yes?
Orochimaru: your not off the hook yet, I want you up at 4:00 sharp to feed Kyodaija.
Kabuto:ok

next morning
Orochimaru: siting in the kitchen staring out the kitchen window into the eyes of a very hungry Kyodaija looks at clock 3:59 I think that clocks broken looks back at Kyodaija and starts tapping his nails on the table looks at clock again 4:01
Kabuto: runs downstairs morning dad did you have a Orochimaru: dont you morining dad dad me!
kabuto.
Orochimaru: where the hell were you?
kabuto: I was Orochimaru: SHUTUP NOW TELL ME WHERE THE HELL YOU WERE!
kabuto: I was Orochimaru: I DONT EVEN CARE ANYMORE GET YOUR ASS OUTSIDE AND FEED MY SNAKE!
kabuto:walk outside to feed Kyodaija
Orochimaru: ...looks around
kabuto: comes back in side I feed Kyodaija can i please go back to bed Orochimaru: HELL NO, cause if you go to bed whos going to keep me company?
kabuto: you could Orochimaru: NO ONE WILL THATS WHO, now park it.
kabuto: sits in chair next to Orochimaru
Orochimaru.
kabuto.
Orochimaru: well this is lame kabuto: it isnt the best thing i spent my time doing Orochimaru: you know what i know what would make this 4:20 nothing to do boredom fun.
kabuto: what?
Orochimaru: a nice floor waxing.
kabuto: looks over at carpet flooring Orochimaru: why arent you waxing!
Kabuto: but dad we have carpet Orochimaru: you know you have done nothing but sas and complain all day IAM SICK AND TIRED OF IT. gets up I AM GOING TO BED!
Kabuto: can i also go back to bed?
Orochimaru: HELL NO walks upstairs Kabuto/\ .
Orochimaru: KABUTO Kabuto: yes Orochimaru: we shall be attending a funeral for some chump named Obit next month.
Kabuto: Obito dad Orochimaru: yeah thats it. walk up stairs and shuts door
Kabuto:...

-End

i know what your thinking: what a crappy ending, and its true I have never been that good with ending stories, anywho i have finished making another story "How Kakashi Got His Sharigan" this is also a humor story so if you liked this story go read my others,
for all of you who don't know Kyodaija is one of orochimaru's snakes and no I didn't make that up I just love yhe red bibs Orochimaru's snames wear they are so kawaii and most importantly I LOVE OROCHIMARU)
please review