Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! in any way, and would not wish to.

Theme Song

Yo move

Yo move

Yo move

Yo move

Yo move

(Assumes Rapper Tone)

Aaa, oo

A oo, a oo a oo

A oo, a oo, oo

A oo, a oo a oo –

It's time to du-du-du-du-du-du-du-dudududuel!

(Music)

Yuuuu-Geeee-Ohhhhhh!

(Music)

Yu-Gi-Oh is the king of games!

(Music)

Yuu u u u u – Gee e e e e – Oh oh oh oh oh!

Story

Yugi was getting nervous. He just laid a card down, saying, "I must trust in the heart of the cardboard."

"They're just ink on cards, get over it," his opponent said in a strangely nasal voice. This opponent is a weirdo, so we will just call him Weirdo.

"No they're not," Yugi snapped, with his hands in a claw-like position and his eyes bulging, "They have SOULSSSS!" Yugi was now foaming at the mouth.

"Shut up," Weirdo said. Then Weirdo, who looks surprisingly like a woman, said, "Satanic Gelatinous Glob From the Depths of Oblivion, attack his Beer-Chugging Fat Man who Lives in a Tavern!"

"NOOOOOO!" Yugi said, "If Beer-Chugging Fat Man Who Lives in a Tavern is destroyed, it will bring my life-points down to 1,375.2, allowing his trap card to destroy two cards from the top of my deck, which may destroy my secret weapon, the Magic Card: Secret Weapon, and if that happens, I'll lose the duel along with three of these shiny stars on my wrist, and then I'll never get to the championships at that big castle, and…"

"JUST DUEL!" Weirdo yelled. He continued, "Gelatinous Glob, attack!"

"NOOOOOO!" Yugi screamed as he jumped off of the dueling platform in a feeble attempt to save his hideous hologram, breaking his coccyx. Suddenly, Yugi looked up at Weirdo with a look of realization. "Now I know who you are, you heartless scum. You killed my father!"

"No, Yugi. I am your father," Weirdo said grimly.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Yugi screamed in a shrill voice, on his knees and still foaming at the mouth.

"How did I ever get mixed up with this guy?" Joey said. Then Joey threw Yugi's cards out the window, laughing maniacally.

"My satanic cardboard! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Oh, would you SHUT UP?" said Yugi's girlfriend, who is approximately three feet taller than him.

Weirdo yelled, "Satanic Gelatinous Glob From the Depths of Oblivion, finish Yugi off!"

"Dibs on the belt around his neck," said Yugi's "friend" with the brown pointy hair whose name I cannot remember.

"I want the pyramid thingy!" Joey exclaimed.

Gelatinous Glob proceeded to crush Yugi under the rippling rolls of fat that it possessed, thereby ending Yugi's life and his TV show.