Disclaimer: I do not own My Hero Academia. I do have plans for a dungeon to put Horikoshi in though.
The Heroes assigned to what had become known as the Mastermind Taskforce had been out on patrol when they had gotten the call.
"Mastermind and the League of Supervillains have been seen in the House area robbing a bank!"
Mount Lady and Kamui Woods shared a glance. With a sigh, Mount Lady called up Death Arms, who was in the office dealing with paperwork and call-ins. "Are there heroes getting to the scene?"
"Seems so. Several local heroes are going to the scene along with the police."
"Which members are out there?"
"Looks like it's just Mastermind, Mr. Warp, Inkblot and Gentle Criminal."
Kamui Woods gave a short nod. "We'll have to stay on our route. We'll offer any help we can."
As badly as they wanted to be on the scene, they were on patrol to help keep the streets of Musutafu safe. They would have to help in the ensuing investigation, mostly because the League of Supervillains and specifically Mastermind were kind of... weird.
Mount Lady sighed. "When did that guy figure out he could rob other places than Musutafu?" She smiled widely at a passer-by. "Any idea what Eraserhead's been doing?"
"Teaching mostly. Seems that his students are having to work their asses off for him."
"Wait. It seems that a pair of heroes are engaging with them right now!"
Kamui Woods shook his head. "Only a pair right now? Those heroes won't have much chance."
"Who's confident or dumb enough to try that?" Mount Lady pondered.
"Hold on. I'm just checking... oh! These two?"
When Mount Lady and Kamui Woods heard the names, they shared a look.
Mount Lady was the first to speak, a confused expression on her face. "Her? Really?"
Mastermind cackled, striding out of the bank with his cape fluttering dramatically behind him. Flanked by Mr. Compress and Gentle Criminal with Inkblot bringing up the rear, he felt on top of everything.
Robbing the bank had gone extremely well. The villains had arrived, delivering a dramatic entrance and, most importantly, Mastermind's cloak hadn't gotten caught in the door! Progress!
With money in hand, the villains quickly headed for their escape vehicle, the employees helpless to watch them leave with most of the money in the building now contained in comical bags with yen symbol on them. Mastermind hoisted the spoils in his hand dramatically. "MWA-HAHAHA! WHO CAN STOP THE LEAGUE OF SUPERVILLAINS NOW?"
"Hey! Villain with a pie to the face says what?"
Mastermind turned, reaching into his belt pouch. "What-"
The short supervillain was hit in the face with a custard pie with enough force to send him backwards a few steps. The supervillain seemed unfazed, merely pressing a button on the side of his mask. As a small wiper came up around his eyes, he turned to look at the offender. He actually seemed to be taken aback.
Standing there, hands on hips and with a huge grin on her face was a green haired heroine, wearing an orange bandanna with a navy shirt paired with orange and green pinstripe puffed shorts. A faint green glow surrounded her, barely visible. Beside her was a well-built man who gave the impression that he was about to offer you a mortgage, wearing a serious brown business suit with an orange pocket square, creases so sharp they could cut somebody. His black hair was slicked back, the oddest thing about his serious appearance being his rectangular eyebrows and fingers.
"The Smile Heroine, Ms. Joke!" Mastermind shouted. His posture changed to one of utter seriousness in spite of the cream dripping from his mask.
From his belt, he produced a small notebook and pen, holding out the pair of items in a serious bow. "Can I have your autograph?"
The other villains stared at him as if he'd lost his mind.
Ms. Joke didn't seem flustered. "Sure thing, villainous scum!"
As she accepted the items with a huge grin on her face, the Warp villain suddenly giggled. Gentle Criminal turned to look at him. "What's the matter, Mr. Warp?"
The named villain clutched a hand to his face. "I-I don't know... just thinking about him getting a pie to the face -snrk!" He started shaking, trying to hold in his laughter.
Mastermind froze. "Uh oh." He looked the hero in the eye as she finished signing. "You've... you devilish hero! You've already started using your Quirk on us! No fair!"
Ms Joke just shrugged, a slightly mad grin on her face. "All's fair in heroics and war! Here's your signature!"
She handed it back to Mastermind, the Villain carefully taking it by the edges. He began to back away, only to pause. "Thank you so much, Ms. Joke! I didn't expect-"
He was cut off by a sudden fart sound coming from the autograph. Looking at the bottom, Mastermind saw what looked like a typical sound chip from a gift card attached to the card, evidently from when she'd taken it. For a moment, everybody was still, looking at the card. Then the villains broke down in laughter.
Gentle Criminal was on one knee, laughter coming from around his gloved hands as he desperately tried to stop laughing. Mr. Warp had actively fallen over from the effort, his own sack of money lying on the ground forgotten. Inkblot had tears pouring down her face, pounding the ground with one hand. "Why is this... so funny?" She wheezed, desperately trying to get her composure back.
"Yeah, your boss has the right idea!" Ms. Joke said. "That's all on Outburst!"
Ms. Joke! Quirk: Outburst! When she smiles, she can emit an energy that makes people more susceptible to laughter! Everything is funnier, so it doesn't take much to generate an incapacitating burst of laughter! Thanks to training she can choose which people in her area are affected!
Mastermind himself was slightly bent over, wheezing. "That's... a good one..." he giggled before he seemed to regain his composure. "N-no matter how funny it is... we have to leave now! Inkblot! Let's make a way out!"
Inkblot, still laughing a bit, managed to push herself up. "On... on it, Mastermind!" She managed to get out, before charging forwards, mallet in hand. As she came up, mallet swinging at Ms Joke, the Hero in a suit leaped in front. He shoved out a palm at the shaft of the weapon, which suddenly bent at a right angle, throwing her weight off.
She blinked. "Aheh... what?"
The hero sniffed. "I'm afraid that it won't be quite that easy."
Mastermind readied himself. "Be careful! That's Straight Edge, the 90-Degree Hero! He's a common partner for Ms. Joke! Their Boke and Tsukkomi routine is legendary!"
The Pro Hero blinked, pushing his glasses up. "I'm surprised that you have heard of me, Mastermind." Mr. Warp's smoke coiled out, releasing a net at the Hero. Unphased, he stretched his arm out to block the net, the item suddenly shooting up into the sky and wrapping around nothing.
Mastermind clapped. "Seeing Right Angle in action... that's pretty impressive!"
The Hero stood his ground, frowning. "Crooked people like you really annoy me. You could be using that technology of yours for good, yet here you are."
Straight Edge! Quirk: Right Angle! Any solid surface he touches with his open palm is bent at a perfect 90 degree angle! It can also affect the momentum of objects if he so chooses! It's a powerful Quirk for setting up barriers as well as a brutal incapacitation method!
Inkblot's eyes narrowed. She pressed a button on her belt, a canister popping out. Quickly she chugged the lot down, before glaring at the heroes. "That's a surprisingly annoying Quirk." Reaching behind her, then slightly into herself, she pulled out another mallet, identical to the one that had been rendered useless. "Guess I gotta try harder."
La Brava desperately typed away at her keyboard. Several alerts came through, telling her things she already knew. "No, no, no..." she muttered, staring at her saviour as he tried and failed to recover.
This job had gone slightly differently.
Mastermind had planned his big, Evil scheme, but had found that there weren't many places that he could rob that had been involved with shady business. It had been with a heavy heart that they had decided to rob the downtown bank in Hosu. Mastermind had chosen a bank heist because, "Bank heists are suitably villainous. And they'll be insured!"
And now it looked like the Heroes would capture them all.
"Stitch, how are the robots coming?"
"Still placing the device properly. More than that, we've got more heroes and police incoming."
La Brava bit her lip.
She'd have to time it just right, to get Gentle-sama her Love at the right point to make an opening. And then, he could help her friends out!
Mastermind glanced over at Inkblot, then returned his gaze to the Heroes. Ms. Joke was standing there with a confident grin on her face in a more traditional fighting stance, while Straight Edge stood with an impassive look on his face. "You Heroes are the real deal, aren't you?"
Inkblot looked over at him. "What's the plan, boss?"
Mastermind looked over at the rest of the team, tapping a button on the side of his helmet. "Nobody gets left behind," he said, inaudible to the Heroes but heard on each member's commlinks. "Inkblot, deal with Straight Edge if you can." She gave a slight nod, hand already reaching behind her back slowly.
Mastermind continued talking, tapping some panels on his wrist and not taking his eyes off the Heroes. "Gentle, Compress, make for the car and get Golden Grin out of compression. La Brava, Stitch, be ready with my backups."
"Mastermind, be careful!" La Brava warned. "We've got other Heroes coming in! They'll be here in about five minutes!"
Mastermind sighed a little. "It's not unmanageable, but we have to leave now! Everybody ready?"
As a chorus of acknowledgements went through the commlink, albeit in a slightly wheezy way on the part of Gentle and Mr. Compress, Mastermind greeted the pair of Heroes with a raised and outstretched hand. "So sorry Heroes, but we have to be off! I'd laugh, but then I wouldn't stop."
Ms. Joke pouted, arms crossed. "I think you should stick around! You haven't even heard all of my hilarious jokes yet!"
With that, the two groups squared off. Gentle Criminal had managed to mostly recover himself while Mr. Compress was still recovering. Ms. Joke was the first, leaping into close combat with Mastermind, The slightly shorter villain had to back up slightly, blocking a fist to the face with his armoured gauntlet then retaliating with a sparking hand. Gentle and Mr. Compress looked briefly before their priorities caught up.
The pair of villains quickly made for the car that they had arrived in. Ms. Joke tried to get closer, only for Mastermind to attempt a wild attack. With a grin on her face, Ms Joke blocked few more attacks from the shorter villain, seeming to be slightly overwhelmed but not losing that smile on her face.
Meanwhile, Straight Edge engaged directly with Inkblot, who had finished her preparations. With a wide grin on her face, she pulled out a black sphere with a fizzing fuse and a skull and crossbones on it. Making a bomb like this wasn't her favourite thing to do, but it would work. Straight Edge's eyes narrowed, and he quickly pulled out -
Inkblot blinked, staring at the tiny object in his hand. "Is... is that a pen?"
It looked like a rather fancy pen, with a gold nib and an elegant black body. The Pro Hero didn't give her a response, instead holding the pen in his palm. Inkblot had seen a lot of weird things with Quirks, mostly hers. She hadn't seen a pen go from a vertical position to shooting forwards in a perfectly straight line, cutting the fuse to the bomb and embedding itself in a wall.
"90 Degree Missile," The Pro Hero proclaimed. From his pockets he pulled a few more objects that you would see in a typical office workers' pockets, including a stamp and credit card. "Surrender in the face of this stationary stationery assault."
Inkblot cracked up. "Stationary stationery! A-HAHAHA!" The bomb in her hand fell to the ground.
Straight Edge just glanced at her impassively as she laughed, trying to recover. "I would strongly advise you surrender. That pen alone weighs a full kilo. If you give up, then the justice system will be more lenient."
Inkblot's retort to that was a raspberry, hoisting her hammer higher. The Pro Hero frowned seriously, sighing. "Crooked people need to be straightened out."
Meanwhile, Mastermind was having serious second thoughts about his ability to handle Ms. Joke. He knew that it looked like he was winning, but he knew the truth. Ms Joke was controlling the pace of the fight and was maneuvering closer to Mr. Compress and Gentle as they staggered to the car.
He could see flashes of Inkblot and Straight Edge fighting, the cartoony woman trying to hit him with her mallet, and him trying to take her down. It seemed that Straight Edge was a lot physically stronger than he looked, the serious Hero delivering blows that actually staggered Inkblot.
If he tried to pull Ms Joke away from them, the move was easily countered in a way that looked ridiculous but insanely difficult. She moved like no other fighter except for Inkblot, all unorthodox angles and silly poses. He had actually tried to take down Ms. Joke, but the heroine had proved to be too wily for him.
It probably didn't help that Ms. Joke was turning the whole fight into a slapstick routine. He'd nearly slipped on a banana peel that had come out of her utility belt. His own taser glove had been turned on him with a joy buzzer in her hand that still left him smarting, and as for her chosen melee weapon...
Mastermind had to block a flailing rubber chicken with his forearm, Ms. Joke expertly swinging the ridiculous weapon around to try and brain him. After seeing the Pro Heroine break a window with a chicken that had slipped out of her grip, Mastermind was fighting more defensively. Whatever the chickens were filled with, it was heavy and was making his arms ache. It was also a nuisance that seeing the chicken flying through a window had caused Gentle Criminal and Mr. Compress to break out into another fit of near paralysing laughter.
Outbreak was proving to be a far more troublesome Quirk than he could have ever imagined! It was great! It was also not good for their escape attempt.
"Do you believe that you can stop a supervillain like me?" He bantered, checking over his gear. If this kept up, he'd have to switch to the other surprise he'd built into his armour...
Ms Joke just grinned. "Comes with the job description! Now..." she pulled out another rubber chicken, tying them together by the necks. "It's time to get serious!"
Gentle Criminal was wheezing at this point, the chickens wobbling in her hands. Mastermind nearly collapsed at the image, a hand over his mouth and shoulders shaking. The Pro Heroine flicked the chickens around while making a series of Bruce Lee noises. With the noises she made being paired with the chickens making a series of squeaks, it caused Mastermind to actually collapse on the ground, laughing maniacally.
Gentle tried to stay upright, but was on his knees, Mr. Compress in a similar state of collapse.
"MWA-HAHA! Oh-oh god - A-HAHAHA! Please-please stop! I'm-I'm actually going to throw up!"
Ms. Joke gave him a short glance, a pair of handcuffs dangling in her hand. Behind her, there was the sound of sirens as the police finally arrived. "It's over-"
La Brava ran out of an alleyway, desperately. Ms. Joke turned immediately, trying to get a laugh with an improvised pratfall, but it was too late.
"GENTLE! I LOVE YOU!"
Gentle Criminal managed to stand upright, a pink glow surrounding him, his eyes serious. He swung his cane, the green-haired heroine being forced to back away as the weapon cracked the pavement. "I would rather not fight a charming lady such as yourself... but it cannot be helped." His eyes blazed with determination.
Ms. Joke tilted her head. "Hm. That's weird. You should be totally incapacitated right now. Guess my routine wasn't a success, huh?"
Gentle laughed. "Don't you know, Hero? Love always wins!"
Mastermind managed to shove himself up, taking heaving, gasping breaths. "Run," he managed to gasp out.
Gentle Criminal spared a glance to the staggering Villain and Mr. Compress, before returning his attention to Ms. Joke. In a sudden burst of speed, he was on top of her. Before she could properly react, he swept her legs out from under her, and with another tap she bounced off the pavement impressively far, the heroine letting out an impressive scream as she flew.
Mastermind seemed to recover as she was sent further away, the effects of her Quirk diminishing but still desperately trying to get air in his luings. "In the car, now." Him and Mr. Compress quickly jumped into the Mastermobile, Gentle Criminal staring off at the police.
"What about the money-"
Mastermind shook his head. "We-we still have some that Mr. Warp got! Leave it!"
Mr. Compress put the Mastermobile into drive, flooring it, La Brava jumping in the back. With a screech of rubber, the vehicle shot forwards, Gentle Criminal latching onto the back. Mastermind took a few deep breaths, trying to compose himself.
In front of them, Straight Edge broke away from Inkblot. He slammed his hands on the ground, the tarmac in front of the Mastermobile suddenly shooting upright in a wall. It was a noble effort to try and stop them, but Gentle Criminal and Inkblot were too tough for that.
Gentle's fist combined with Inkblot's mighty mallet blow. The barrier was torn down, Inkblot stretching her arm out to latch onto the side of the car.
He saw the green-haired heroine appear, riding a unicycle with a motor, and he immediately tapped the side of his mask, dialling up the volume and gesturing for the Mastermobile to stop. "MWA-HAHAHA! IT'S BEEN FUN, MS. JOKE, BUT THE LEAGUE OF SUPERVILLAINS MUST TAKE ITS LEAVE!"
Ms Joke pulled up, a smile still on her face. "Hey, come on! You haven't heard all of my jokes yet!"
Mastermind chuckled nervously. "I-IF YOU SAY SO! HOWEVER, I HAVE LEFT A PRESENT BEHIND FOR YOU! LOOK!"
Ms. Joke stared at the bank, frowning. A pair of Mastermind's drones fled the scene, leaving behind a large black sphere, an alarm clock rigged up to it. It ticked ominously, the tones sounding out above the police sirens.
Ms. Joke's eyes narrowed. "What exactly are you planning, fiend?"
Mastermind chuckled. 'Oh, nothing. Just... A PREPERATION THAT WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHEMICAL REACTION OF A COMBINATION OF CARBONIC AND ACETIC ACID, WITH AN INFUSION OF SODIUM BICARBONATE! IN THE NEXT TWO MINUTES... IT WILL GO OFF!"
The Mastermobile sped up, Mastermind shaking a fist. "MAKE A CHOICE, HEROES! THE CLOCK IS TICKING! MWAHAHAHA!"
Ms. Joke grit her teeth as the villains left, before a smile came on her face. When the villain put it like that, there wasn't much she could do. "You think a bomb is going to stop you from being taken to justice? Think again, foul knave!"
She slapped Straight Edge on the arm. "Hit me!"
Straight Edge nodded. Lining up, he pushed her, suddenly causing her to rocket towards the bomb at a perfect 90 degree angle. "Straight Boost!"
As she went flying, he tried to catch up to the vehicle, but unfortunately even with a quick boost by springing off a small barrier he made, he wasn't able to catch them.
Ms. Joke rolled and tumbled next to the bomb, staring up at the wires. With a frown of concentration on her face, she pulled out a pair of clippers. The alarm clock was connected to a part of the device that looked like it would lower a capsule into the main body of the bomb, with a vent at the top for the result to go.
The tick of the clock seemed so much louder as she looked over the wires. There wasn't much time before the alarm would go off. Sweat beaded her brow as she selected a likely looking red wire.
Selecting the wire, she managed to snip it. The clock stopped. She waited, gingerly, then sighed. With a frown she shook her head. "This is way beyond the pale. Using a bomb threat like that..."
She had seriously misjudged them, Mastermind in particular. It seemed like he was the brains behind the group, the one calling the shots. With the whole autograph thing, she'd really thought he wasn't that kind of person. But at least she had been able to stop this before it had gone too far.
Straight Edge came up, shaking his head. "Crooked people like them have strange ideas. They need to be straightened out."
Ms. Joke looked over where the villains had made their escape. As much as she wanted to see if she could follow, her vehicles weren't going to catch up. Already the villains had managed to get too far for her to reach them with Outburst. The other heroes were chasing, but it didn't seem like they would catch them, unfortunately.
Ms. Joke sighed. "Well, at least they dropped most of their loot." She slapped the side of the sphere. "And the bomb didn't go off!"
Something was nagging her in the back of her mind. She wasn't sure what.
Straight Edge sighed. "A chemical weapon attack seems odd. Sodium bicarbonate and those other things... That's-"
Ms. Joke shushed him, her eyes wide. That had been what was bugging her. "Could you give me a hand?"
She pried it open, Straight Edge flustered. "Ms. Joke, wait! Those chemicals-"
"Aren't dangerous."
Straight Edge blinked. "What-"
She pulled it fully open, revealing a childish model of a volcano, though on a huge scale, four feet high. Looking inside the main item, there was a clear red liquid. The cylinder on top was filled with a white powder. She grinned. "Bicarbonate soda, added to vinegar and red food colouring."
Straight Edge blinked. "A baking soda volcano? These villains are twisted in the head."
Ms. Joke giggled, then chuckled. It turned into a full on belly busting laugh, the heroine rolling on the ground with tears pouring down her face. "A-HAHAHA! They - he actually said - and I'm a chemistry teacher, I can't believe I forgot that!"
The police sirens came closer, the police running up, concerned that the heroine had been subjected to some sort of chemical attack. Straight Edge jogged over, a serious expression on his face. There was going to be a lot of paperwork about this, but he always came with stationery.
Eraserhead looked over the paperwork with the rest of the Mastermind Task Force. "A baking soda volcano."
Mount Lady just shrugged. "Apparently so. Rigged to an alarm clock, just to fake the heroes out."
Eraserhead sighed. "Well, at least that Heroine was on the scene. And she's far away from us."
The other heroes shared a look. "Well..." Mount Lady spoke first.
Eraserhead stared at her. A sinking feeling was building in his gut. "What is it, Mount Lady?"
Kamui Woods spoke up. "Considering that the villains dropped most of their haul, she has the best track record of dealing with Mastermind. So..."
Eraserhead's danger sense went haywire. "Please, no."
The door slammed open, and Ms. Joke came bursting through, a huge grin on her face. "When I heard about this group, I decided to sign up!" She looked at Eraserhead, then did an exaggerated double-take. "Hey, Shota! Marry me."
Eraserhead sighed. "Not interested." As the Smile Heroine let out a laugh at that, he slumped back onto the ground, pulling his sleeping bag over himself. "Honestly, you're worse than my students."
Ms. Joke let out another laugh. "Honestly, Shota. Did you forget that time in Paris?"
Eraserhead's eyes stared straight ahead. "There was no time in Paris. You just made that up."
She flopped into the chair next to him. "There could have been though. After all, it was a fated pairing at our internships. You and I, we could have been the best team! Straight Man and Wise Guy! Speaking of, Straight Edge is still dealing with some paperwork, but he wasn't interested in this anyways. Said something about dealing with other stuff."
Eraserhead didn't comment. The other heroes shuffled awkwardly, unsure if this was something they should intrude on. Eventually Eraserhead sighed. "You did a good job against Mastermind, though."
Ms. Joke's smile seemed warmer as she looked at him. "Aw, Shota! I'm touched."
Eraserhead stared up at the ceiling for a short time. Death Arms was the first to respond. "Well, we're glad to have another hero on board to try and catch these Villains."
Ms. Joke shrugged. "So are they still C-rank?"
Death Arms scowled. "Damn pencil pushers are going for the most technical definitions of 'threatening.' Since they haven't caused any fatalities or major injuries, they're still C-rank."
The other heroes grumbled. The Hero Public Safety Commission had been more lenient with the rest of them since the Mastermind incidents had continued, but it still rankled that some moron in cosplay had been consistently outrunning them.
As the discussion continued, Eraserhead looked over at Ms. Joke. "I've got a favour I'd like to ask you," he murmured.
"Your hand in marriage? Very well, I accept."
"Not that."
Shinsou stared at the green haired professional Heroine as she grinned at him. "Shinsou, eh?" She nudged Eraserhead in the ribs. "I can't believe you adopted a kid for our family already."
Eraserhead just slumped into his sleeping bag. "I'm training him for the entrance exam. And I have no intention to start a family with you"
Ms. Joke looked Shinsou in the eye. he looked back hesitantly. "Really? You know, kid, if you want to go into heroics, Ketsubutsu High School is an excellent heroics school."
Shinsou wasn't exactly sure what to say. "Uh..."
Ms. Joke just laughed. "I kid, I kid. If Shouta's got his eye on you..." She stretched out a hand. "Put it there."
When he gripped her hand, he jerked back when a loud farting noise came out. "Good, eh? The old whoopee cushion in the hand trick. It's always funny."
Eraserhead just sighed. Shinsou stared at his teacher, then back to Ms. Joke. "Well, uh... it's... nice to meet you?"
She was way too intense for his liking.
Ms. Joke looked at Eraserhead. "So you want me to teach him...?"
Eraserhead shuffled into a more upright position. "I would like you to teach him some comic timing."
Shinsou stared at Eraserhead as Ms. Joke's eyes widened. "You want me to teach him... oh-o-hoho!" She turned on him, eyes sparkling. "Just you wait, kid. I'll teach you the art of punning in no time!"
After a moment, Shinsou shook himself. "Comic timing? I - I don't-"
Eraserhead looked him in the eye. "Comic relief is an important part of some heroes' work. It helps put people at ease."
Ms. Joke nodded, the smile going from her face. "My Quirk needs me to be funny to use it in a combat situation. I've had to learn the art of timing and how to read the room."
"Not just that, but you might be able to catch people off guard more consistently if you make it funny."
Shinsou blinked, then thought about it.
He had to admit, against Soga his insults hadn't been able to get a reaction. In other sparring matches, against people who knew what his Quirk was he hadn't been able to work in a good enough insult. More than that, he hadn't wanted to insult his teachers.
He looked her in the eyes. "I'll be in your hands then."
She grinned. "Right." She handed him a small book. "We'll start with this material and then we'll work up to funny impressions."
Shinsou looked at the title of the book.
1001 Dad Jokes: For embarrassing your Friends or Children!
His lips twisted into a grin.
AN: This took a while. I had a chapter written, but I wasn't happy with it. So then I grabbed this out of my offshoots document, and here we are.
Timeline: 6 months 2 weeks until U.A exams.
Next time... glimpses into the lives of the other villains most likely.
