Yes, I know I said that the story was finished, but a few of you asked if there was going to be more. Obviously my muse is easier than I thought, because she immediately bounced in delight and said, 'of course there is.'

Anyway, as they say, here's the rest of the story ;-)


Jillian McKay sat in the corner of the control room chewing on a fingernail hoping desperately that no one noticed her. She did realize that it was highly unlikely that they wouldn't. At just over nine months pregnant, she was like the pink elephant sitting in the middle of the room that everyone pretends wasn't really there. Although she wouldn't ever be caught dead, let alone pregnant, in pink. She giggled remembering when Rodney had actually got her some silly, frothy pink maternity thing. He had it shipped in on the Daedalus. He had meant it to be sweet and loving and it was, it really was, but she'd been having a bad day.

She missed seeing her feet and she felt like a two-ton cow, so when he gave her the box with the pink frilly maternity dress in it, she'd taken scissors to it and left it in a ripped-up mess. Rodney had fled the room and left on a mission shortly thereafter. When he came back, the dress and the box were gone, but she'd traded with another nurse that she knew kept a private stash of Rodney's favorite dark chocolate for a peace offering.

Now she sat waiting for him to come home, she needed him to come home. His team was two hours late and her labor had started hours before and there was no way she was leaving the control room to have her baby until Rodney was there to see his daughter born. It was all he'd been talking about for months. They hadn't even picked a name yet. They needed a name.

"What do you think of Mia?" she asked the tech sitting next to her. It completely ruined her plan of remaining inconspicuous, but she was going crazy sitting, waiting, trying to breathe through the labor pains without a coach because he wasn't home yet.

The tech glanced at her curiously. They'd been amazingly patient with her in the control room, answering her repeated questions of 'have you heard from them yet?' patiently, although she'd seen one go into Elizabeth's office with a glance in Jillian's general direction. She expected to be ratted out by them any time now.

"I beg your pardon?" The man asked, his eyes shifted nervously trying to see if there was any one within earshot that he could shift her unwanted attention to.

"Mia? Do you like that? I've been thinking of names for the baby. And I kind of like Mia." Rodney didn't. He said he had the perfect name for their daughter, except he hadn't shared it with her yet.

"Uhm…" the man desperately tried to find something that he could use as an excuse to escape, but finding nothing said finally, "Isn't this a discussion you should be having with Dr. McKay, ma'am?"

She felt her ire rise with the onset of the next labor pain, "I would dammit, if he were here. Do you see him here?"

"I… uh.. no, ma'am."

Jillian did her best to control her anger, her rising panic, the pain welling up within her. She couldn't lose it. Because then they'd call Carson and he would make her go to the infirmary and she couldn't go yet. She had to stay and wait for Rodney to come home.

"Yes, you're absolutely right," she agreed quickly. "I'll just uh… wait quietly over here."

The tech nodded doubtfully and went back to his board with it's pretty lights and mysterious function, doing his very best to ignore her.

Jillian went back to doing her very best to be ignored.

She distracted herself by looking around the control room. It was pretty darn amazing really, even after she'd been there for over a year. When she signed on to come to Atlantis it had been hard at first to come to grips with the fact that she was getting her life-long wish of traveling to the stars. She'd had to pinch herself daily on the voyage aboard the Daedalus. She was in a space ship, she was gong to another galaxy, she was possibly going to meet aliens. Somehow it never entered her thoughts that she was going to meet the love of her life, be married and pregnant – all in very short order.

The pain rose and crested. She did her best to breathe quietly through it. They weren't really all that bad yet, just a pressure that she had to deal with, an awareness that something was going to happen soon. She should possibly go down to Carson and let him take care of her, but fear was clawing at her insides. Fear that if she had the baby without Rodney there that he would never come home. It was stupid, she knew that, too. But she was pregnant in another galaxy and her husband was late coming home from his appointment to meet with people who possibly wanted to hurt or kill him. She felt justified in her fear.

It was how they had fallen in love after all. Their first date had been in the infirmary while he was still recuperating from injuries incurred after a misunderstanding with natives over a holy relic. Rodney was sure it was a ZPM but they didn't let him get close enough to find out. In fact they took great offense to the fact that he tried.

--SGA--

Despite her protests Rodney had his chess board set up one evening when she arrived for her shift. She let him 'persuade' her to play. She knew him well enough, even after only a few days, to know that she couldn't ever give in too easily. Rodney dismissed people who seemed to like him instantly, as if they weren't discerning enough. She had to admit that he was a pain in the ass sometimes, but she found him caustic and witty and very entertaining. Just listening to the other nurses talk about his previous visits to the infirmary kept her amused for hours. But none of them really seemed willing to spend time with him, they preferred to let her do that.

Which was alright with her. Spending quality time with Dr. Rodney McKay, the bane of the infirmary, was interesting. She had a much different view of him than everyone else for one thing. He seemed to feel like he already knew her, so he treated her with affectionate disdain, like he might treat Colonel Sheppard or Teyla Emmigan or even Ronon instead of the complete and utter contempt that he had for the rest of the world.

He was fascinating in a place that was filled with the incredible and amazing.

She lost that first game of chess with good grace. Rodney spent a lot of time telling what she had done wrong and advising her on different strategies. She just let him talk because she liked to see the way his hands flew in animated discourse, the way his eyes lit up, the way his mouth moved.

Then she pulled out the threatened Scrabble board. Rodney's eyes narrowed and then he threw himself into the game. Rodney did everything intensely and his concentration was fierce, Jillian had to work hard to best him that first time. Even so, he was recovering from severe injuries and she suspected that was the only reason she managed to beat him, that and the muscle relaxant she'd administered before they began.

They were arguing over a word when Sheppard showed up.

"Dr. McKay, you may be the world's foremost authority on absolutely everything, but I refuse to believe that 'snarfling' is a word," Jillian declared firmly.

"Snarfling, McKay?" Sheppard inquired as he sat in the chair at Rodney's bedside. He regarded the two of them with his head cocked to the side. Jillian had settled comfortably on the edge of Rodney's bed near his feet, the board on the bedside table situated between them.

"You know, Sheppard," Rodney looked at John with a curiously intense expression on his face, "it's what you told me... a stealthy word. When we're in the field." Rodney waved a hand vaguely in the air.

Jillian had to bite her lip to hide her smile. What Rodney didn't know was that she was a nurse in the US Air Force. She'd had 'stealthy' training. Nowhere in the handbook was there mention of snarfling.

Still, Sheppard did his best to back up his teammate. He gave a doubtful nod, "Yeah, uhm... it's that... stealth. Tracking. I think it's something Ronon told us about."

Jillian rolled her eyes and climbed off the bed. "Gentlemen, you are both full of shit," she declared unequivocally. "But it's creative shit, I'll give you that." She pulled the pudding cup out of her pocket that was the prize they'd been playing for. Rodney seemed to love the things, he couldn't get enough of them and she already loved the way his eyes lit up when he saw them.

"If you'll excuse me, some of us have work to do, instead of laying around all day," she smiled as she said it to take away the sting. But she didn't need to worry. Rodney was already deep in conversation with Colonel Sheppard, their heads leaning close together, for all the world looking like co-conspirators deep in the middle of planning their overthrow of the infirmary.

She only moved as far as the desk where she could keep an eye on them both while she worked updating charts for the next shift. Between the two of them, they were legendary for their escapes from the infirmary and there was no way she was losing a patient on her watch.

She liked to watch Rodney with his friends. They were there for him all the time. There was rarely a time during the day and even in the middle of the night when there wasn't someone at Rodney McKay's bedside. As much as people complained about his ego and his attitude, there was a steady stream of people through the infirmary to keep him company.

She caught a flash of silver as Sheppard pulled something from inside his jacket. She wasn't supposed to see that he was sneaking in the doctor's laptop. Dr. Beckett had warned the staff that he suspected it would happen soon. Rodney was beginning to feel well enough that he was getting restless. The only way to keep him in the infirmary was to let his team 'sneak' in his computer so he could work in bed. It was the medical staff's job to keep an eye on him and make sure he didn't work too long and get overtired.

Jillian grinned as she bent to her task, pretending to ignore what was going on right in front of her. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Rodney sneak a glance in her direction before sliding the computer under his covers. Snarfling he was not.


Their second date was a mission of mercy.

Rodney was now well enough to drive the medical staff crazy. She came to rescue him, because really, to let her fellow nurses kill him would be such a waste after they worked so hard to keep him alive in the first place.

When she walked into the infirmary pushing the wheel chair in front of her, Rodney's eyes widened in surprise. Instead of the scrubs that were standard dress for the medical team, she wore black jeans and a form-hugging tee-shirt that showed off her curves. She thought she saw appreciation in his eyes and she felt a warm tingling spread through her body.

She did her best to ignore the growing attraction she felt for Rodney. She suspected that it was due, in part, to the closeness they shared as nurse and patient. He favored her touch over any of the other nurses. He'd even made the staff call her in once or twice on her off-duty time to give a shot or take blood because he claimed she 'didn't hurt him, like the rest of you harpies.'

She thought about telling him that it didn't really endear him to the rest of the medical staff, but she had to admit, at least to herself, that it made her happy to be woken up in middle of her sleep shift because Rodney wouldn't let anyone else touch him. She suspected that once he was out of the infirmary, he was going to forget she ever existed. Still, she could enjoy his company while she had it.

"Where are we going?" he asked suspiciously as she carefully extricated him from the machines that he was still hooked to. She took his IV and hung it from the pole on the back of the chair. Dr. Beckett was willing to let Rodney out of the infirmary for a few hours, but he'd drawn the line at the IV. It had to stay in. That was doable.

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise, now would it?" she answered sweetly as she took the laptop away from him, setting it on the table next to his bed. "Just call it a mission of mercy."

She refused to answer any more questions as she pushed him out of the infirmary. She heard the relieved sighs behind them as the door whooshed shut behind them. So did Rodney. He scowled but didn't say anything about it.

Instead he craned his neck back to look up at her, "While we're out, maybe we could just drop by the lab for a minute?" He smiled at her winningly, "I need to check up on Zelenka and make sure they're not going to blow us up any day now."

Her heart gave a funny little skip at his smile, but she refused to be charmed by him. She turned his head back to a more comfortable angle with one hand while she maneuvered the chair with the other. "Absolutely not," she said firmly. "You may not value your life, but I really like my job here on Atlantis and I don't want Dr. Beckett to send me back to Earth just because you are a control freak who can't let other people do their jobs without assistance."

"What? I'm not a control freak," he mumbled in something that sounded suspiciously like a pout, "And Carson wouldn't dare send you back to Earth. You're the only nurse that can give a shot without it hurting."

She didn't tell him that the other nurses could give shots that didn't hurt. They just didn't choose to.

She negotiated a corner and they emerged onto one of Atlantis's many piers. Jillian thought that the Ancients must have loved to stand out on the piers and gaze at the water. They had so many of the little balconies and outlooks, it was impossible to find them all. The one she had chosen for Rodney's surprise was out of the way and little used, so she hoped they'd have a little privacy.

He was so quiet that she glanced down to see if he was even paying attention to what she had done. She had traded for several double shifts to get the wine and little treats from some of her friends. It was alright, she was spending most of her time in the infirmary while Rodney was there anyway, it might as well be official. She used the lemon chicken card with the cook again to obtain some little finger foods and fruit for their picnic. When she saw the wide-eyed surprise written on his face as he stared at the picnic, it made all the sacrifices she was going to be making over the next few days worthwhile.

She couldn't help the satisfied grin that spread across her face as she moved his chair in close to the table. He surprised her when he pushed the chair away and stood. He silenced her protests by pulling her to him and kissing her firmly.

The whole world went away as his lips closed over hers. Her eyes shut as she just concentrated on feeling his lips warm against hers. He kissed with the same single minded intensity he gave everything else. He pressed little kisses onto her mouth, stealing away her breath and replacing it with his own. She swayed when he pulled back.

"Thank you," he whispered as he collapsed into the chair. He was pale and shaking but looking inordinately pleased with himself.

Jillian had the sudden sense that she was falling down a deep and slippery slope. But, instead of trying to stop her assent and crawl back to the top, she wanted to spread out her arms and enjoy the fall. She sat abruptly when her knees would no longer hold her. She licked a lip that still tasted of Rodney, a coffee taste clinging to her mouth.

Outrage replaced the euphoria of the kiss, "Coffee!" she glared at him. "You know Dr. Beckett said coffee was expressly prohibited." There were some things, like lap tops and visitors after visiting hours were over, that she would turn a blind eye to, but caffeine in his current condition was not one of them.

He blinked at her and then grinned as he captured her fingers. "You know you're entirely too in awe of that Voodoo doctor."

She pulled her hand away, trying to forget the feel of his mouth on hers for the moment. She was pissed and that memory kept detouring the pissiness into other emotions. He still looked entirely too smug and pleased with himself.

"That Voodoo doctor is my boss," she informed him stiffly. This time when he took her hand in his, she didn't pull it away. "And I happen to find him brilliant, Dr. McKay."

Rodney leaned in, wincing a little and Jillian had to work hard to maintain her anger in the face of his pain. "I do, too," he whispered conspiratorially, "but if you tell him that, I'll make you miserable for the rest of your days on Atlantis." She knew he could, too. It was only the fear of what he could do to them that kept the nurses in line sometimes.

"Besides," he picked up the wine bottle on the table, "Wine? Isn't that prohibited, too?"

She felt her anger just bleeding away. She just couldn't hold onto it where Rodney was concerned. She smiled.

"It's the non-alcoholic variety, Rodney," she said, pouring some into a glass for him. It was only a water glass from the mess hall, but the liquid sparkled and fizzed pleasantly.

His mouth dropped open, "Why would someone smuggle non alcoholic wine to another galaxy?" he demanded. But he picked up the glass and drank anyway. Then he pulled her in close and kissed her again.

They sat on the balcony making out like teenagers until her comm clicked in her ear, the signal that it was time to bring Rodney back to the infirmary.


Rodney was in the infirmary for a total of ten days. It was the shortest ten days of Jillian's life. It went by so fast that she barely had time to think of what would happen when Rodney left.

Jillian prepared for her shift on that tenth day feeling oddly disjointed. Rodney was leaving and the infirmary was going to be a colder, calmer place without him. Of course, the rest of the staff was planning a party, but she was sad. She was afraid that once he left, he really would forget about her. He would go back to his life – going on missions and saving Atlantis on a daily basis and he'd have no need of his own personal nurse.

Despite the fact that she arrived early for her shift, Rodney was already gone when she got there. Bitter disappointment swept through her and Jillian did her best to blink back the tears. It wasn't like they had any sort of a real relationship beside nurse and patient. They hadn't been alone since the afternoon on the balcony and neither one of them had talked about it since. But Jillian could have sworn there was a chemistry between them, all she had to do was touch his hand and her knees would go weak. And whenever Rodney would catch her eye across the infirmary he would smile like he had a secret of his own.

None of the other medical personnel would even look at her and Dr. Beckett was no where in sight, so she shoved away the hurt for another time. It wasn't like they didn't live in one another's back pockets. She would see him again. She'd seen his medical file, Rodney was in the infirmary at least once a week for injuries real and imagined. Of course she would be seeing him again.

Then it occurred to her that there was probably an emergency that had taken him away. It was a minor miracle in itself that Rodney McKay had gotten 10 straight days in the infirmary without something blowing up or blacking out or otherwise requiring his presence. Her mood lifted at the thought that there might be an imminent power failure that would send the city hurtling back to the bottom of the sea or some other dire situation that only Rodney McKay could solve. And that was why he'd left without saying goodbye to her.

So, when the door opened and Rodney swept in, followed by a veritable crowd of people, she stood gaping, unable to say a word. She did begin to feel a sense of dread when she started picking out the faces of the people squeezing into the infirmary. Most of Rodney's scientific staff was there. She knew Dr. Zelenka because he visited Rodney frequently in the middle of the night and they worked on projects over the dim glow of the lap top.

Several of the others she knew because they stopped her in the halls to get regular updates on Rodney's progress and an estimated time on when he would be released from the infirmary. Evidently there was some sort of betting pool going in the science lab as to how long each infirmary visit would actually last. They wouldn't let her get in on it because she was a nurse and had 'insider' information, but she was a widely sought after source of information.

Dr. Kavanagh even offered to split the pool with her if she would delay Rodney's exit from the infirmary. He had a concoction he wanted her to inject into Rodney's IV that would "only make him sick for a day or two. Just general puking, nothing serious." Aghast, she'd refused soundly and he walked away muttering about, "Idiots with principles."

People just kept crowding in. Dr. Beckett and Dr. Weir were there along with Rodney's whole team – Colonel Sheppard was sporting a grin that threatened to split his face. Teyla nodded at Jillian when she saw her curious gaze. She also smiled knowingly, but Teyla always looked to Jillian as if she knew something the rest of the world didn't. Ronon leaned against the wall and watched with an amused grin.

Jillian was starting to become afraid.

When Rodney approached her, Jillian backed away a little, trying desperately to find a private place for them to talk. But there were so many people crammed into the infirmary, privacy wasn't an option.

"Rodney?" she said uncertainly. "What's going on?"

Rodney himself appeared to be quite satisfied with himself. "Listen," he began without preamble, seemingly unconcerned that half of Atlantis was in the small room with them. "I'm not very good with all the hearts and flowers stuff..."

He took her hand and her heart gave a funny jump. The room was oddly silent considering all the people that were packed into it and they all seemed to be holding their breath.

Rodney gazed into her eyes, his blue eyes as intent and serious as she had ever seen them, "And I'm not getting down on my knees, you've seen my chart, you know what kind of shape they're in. And you know how dangerous a place this is, we could die any day now..."

"That's so romantic, McKay," Sheppard drawled. "Why don't you just ask her to marry you already?"

"Oh, now see, that's why I didn't want you in here," Rodney spun to glare at Sheppard. "Thank you very much, now you've taken all the surprise out of it," he snapped.

Jillian's startled gaze went from Rodney to Sheppard and back again, "Marry you?"

Her head was whirling and she really needed to sit down. Rodney must have seen something in her face because he caught her arm and gently guided her to a near-by bed.

Once she was sitting, he put a hand on her face, stroking her cheek with a thumb. "Yes, well, will you? Marry me that is?"

He smiled at her with that silly side-ways smile of his that said he knew he was doing it all wrong, but he didn't know any other way to do it. "I told you I was really bad with all the hearts and flowers stuff," he said ruefully.

She just sat staring into his eyes, her thoughts whirling. She knew she should be thinking sensible thoughts like, 'we haven't known each other long enough. We don't know each other well enough, ' and, 'he's going to break my heart.' But looking into his eyes all she could think was, 'I really want to wake up to those eyes every morning.'

The silence stretched on and finally Ronon barked, "Well?"

Jillian couldn't speak, she was afraid she was going to do something stupid like cry in front of all the people she respected most in the world, so she just nodded. Then she burst into tears anyway when Rodney wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. Around them a cheer went up and they were surrounded by people hugging them and clapping them on the back. Dr. Zelenka pulled Jillian from Rodney's arms and kissed her soundly.

"Just so you know what you will be missing," he said with a cheeky grin when he released her.

It was absolute chaos for all of five minutes, then things sort of arranged themself around the couple. Jillian found herself standing hand and hand with Rodney in front of Elizabeth who was holding an official-looking little book. Sheppard stood next to Rodney and Teyla looked for all the world like a maid of honor.

"Wait," Jillian said, her heart couldn't handle much more, "you mean now?"

"Yes, now," Rodney said it as if it were obvious. Which it was, but that was beside the point.

"Rodney, I can't get married now."

He lifted an eyebrow, and she didn't like it one little bit. It was his 'you're such an idiot' eyebrow. She'd seen him use it on Sheppard once or twice. "You said yes, what else is there to wait for?" He really did seem to be completely unaware of why she might have a problem with it.

"I told you she wouldn't go for it, McKay," Sheppard said with a poke of an elbow into Rodney's ribs.

"Would you stop that," Jillian snapped at him. "I can speak for myself."

Sheppard had been dealing with Rodney for way too long to be bothered by Jillian's snapishness. He just folded his arms and stood back to watch the fun.

"Well?" Rodney asked, his arms folded in a mirror image of Sheppard's stance.

She was acutely aware that everyone was looking at her. She caught Dr. Beckett's gaze and he at least seemed to understand a little of her nervousness. She never really imagined herself getting married. If she'd thought about it, she would have imagined a long engagement, like about 7 years, just to make sure that things were going to work out. She didn't make snap decisions, until she made the one to come to Atlantis. Now she felt like she was caught up in a whirlwind and it was sweeping her along in its path of destruction. Then Rodney took her hand and squeezed it gently.

"Listen," he said a little uncertainly, "I know this is quick. But I've found that things happen fast here in Atlantis. I've... lost friends... in the blink of the eye. One minute they were here, and the next they... weren't." The pain in his voice made her just want to hold him close and soothe it away. "I love you and I want to spend my life with you. I knew that when I opened my eyes and you were there looking down at me, and I just think it's silly to waste all the time with the dancing around one another and just get straight to the good stuff."

It was quite possibly the most romantic thing Jillian had ever heard. Wordless, she nodded her head and turned to face Dr. Weir.

The actual ceremony was a blur for Jillian. She remembered Rodney holding her hand tightly as if he never wanted to let it go. Dr. Zelenka had a camera and he kept snapping pictures as the ceremony progressed. The whole thing had the quality of a photo album to her.

snap

Dr. Weir was saying, "We are gathered here at this time to witness and to celebrate the coming together of two separate lives."

snap

Jillian's voice was firm and clear as she said, "I do," she gazed into Rodney's eyes hoping he knew she meant it all.

snap

Rodney was slipping a silver band on her finger. Her fingers were cold and he took a moment to clasp them between his warm hands.

snap

It was over and Dr. Weir was beaming at them as if they had done something extraordinary.

"And now by the authority vested in me as leader of this expedition, I now pronounce you man and wife. Rodney, you may kiss your bride," she said, beaming.

Rodney leaned in, pulling Jilian's face close. It was just a brief brush of lips on lips, but a promise of so much more. When he turned her to face the room, he slipped his arm around her waist. She was grateful for it, she might have fallen over otherwise.

"I give you Dr. Rodney and Jillian McKay, the first official wedding in Atlantis," Dr. Weir declared. The cheer that went up was deafening.

snap

There was a party, Jillian knew there was a party because she had an album of pictures that featured the party. She looked flushed and happy and slightly dazed.

snap

A cake appeared and Rodney was adorable as he tried to feed it to her without smearing it all over her face. She almost stopped breathing when he got it on her nose and then leaned in to lick it off.

snap

The party grew too big for the infirmary, so they took it to the mess hall. The tables were cleared and a sound system put together. Her clearest memory after saying 'I do,' was dancing with Rodney. He enfolded her in his arms and held her close. She could feel the heat of his body pressed against hers, she could hear his heart thumping as fast as hers. All she really wanted was to get out of the press of people and be alone with him.

snap

And suddenly they were alone, standing in his quarters because they were closest and she didn't know what to do. They stood staring at each other like awkward strangers, which they kind of were.

Rodney glanced around his room and looked a little embarrassed by the pile of laundry in the corner. There was mess hall dishes piled on the desk next to his lap top looking like a science experiment after ten days. Books and papers covered every surface. He began to pick things up, speaking rapidly, "We can live here if you want, or we can move to your place. Whatever you want. But if you want to move in here, I'm going to have to..."

She couldn't stand it anymore and she caught his hand. "Can we talk about this later?"

Rodney broke out into a smile that took her breath away, then he was kissing her and she remembered the next hours quite clearly.


Jillian had been in relationships before. She'd certainly woken up with a man in her bed more than once. But nothing prepared her for waking up next to Rodney McKay. Pressed in next to her body, he was propped up on one elbow watching her intently as she slept. She stretched lazily, smiling up at him.

"What?" she asked a little self consciously as he kept studying her intently. She wondered if she'd suddenly sprouted tentacles over night.

"I just wanted to make sure you were still her," he said cryptically.

She snuggled in further to his side. "After last night, I may never move again."

His eyes lit up and he moved over her, pressing her into the bed.

A chime sounded, causing them to spring apart guiltily. Then they realized what they'd done and laughed.

"McKay," John called from the hall. "Get your ass out of bed, we need you now."

Rodney's jaw tightened mulishly. "We better be in immediate danger of blowing up," he yelled. "I'm still recovering here. Beckett said no strenuous activity."

Jillian couldn't hold back the snort that exploded from her. There was an answering guffaw from the hallway.

"McKay, I wouldn't come to you for anything less than imminent death. I'll bring your broken body back personally. You're the genius right? How long could it take, really? I bet your bed doesn't even have time to get cold."

Rodney looked down at her, his eyes pleading with her to understand. And she did. She might have married Rodney McKay, but he was already married to Atlantis and the people there would always come first. It was the way it should be. She'd just hoped they would have a little more time before that reality reared its ugly head. She ran a hand down his arm.

"Go," she said simply.

He kissed her, pressing her into the bed, promising with his body that he'd be back as quick as he could. The chime sounded again.

"McKay, don't make me open the door and come in there," the colonel's voice was tight with poorly concealed anxiety. Whatever was wrong, it was escalating.

Rodney scrambled out of the bed, searching through their scattered clothes to pull on his. "I'm sorry," he said.

"It's alright," she insisted. She wrapped the sheet loosely around her body, still a little shy of walking around naked with a man she'd only known less than a month. She got up and helped him find the rest of his clothes. On his way to the door, he pulled her close and just rested his chin on her head, breathing in her scent. Then he was gone.

It was the last time she saw him for three days.

--SGA--

The whole of the first day she didn't think much about it. There was alarms and off-duty personnel were confined to their quarters. That was alright with her because she spent the day in her own quarters packing up her stuff to take to Rodney's place. There wasn't much. She'd only just arrived on the Daedalus, and their allotment for personal items hadn't been much. She only had a few clothes and some dvds she hadn't been able to leave behind – a few movies she couldn't imagine never seeing again, some music that she loved. But there was no pictures of family or loved ones left behind on Earth. She'd found everything she needed on Atlantis.

That night she found herself still confined to her quarters and the lights kept going on and off at irregular intervals. Sometimes she thought she heard shouting and running in the halls, or maybe she just imagined it. She wanted to call someone and ask what was going on, but she knew official channels would be secure and they wouldn't allow chatter.

She could just imagine that conversation – "Hello, this is Jillian McKay. Is my husband okay?" Oh, yeah, that would go over well.

She spent her second night of marriage all alone in her room. She couldn't sleep, so she left her comm on, hoping someone, anyone, would think to tell her what was going on.

She was grateful to be able to go to the infirmary the next day. Everyone was abuzz with the news of what had happened in their city. She found that a Wraith had managed to invade Atlantis and it was still loose, wreaking havoc with the city's systems, attacking people in its path.

Jillian searched the faces of the patients lying in the beds when she entered, looking for Rodney's familiar face. She felt guilty and relieved at the same time when he wasn't there, but there were other faces she knew, friends she'd made. She threw herself into her work so she wouldn't have to think about the fact that she had no idea where Rodney was or what was happening to him.

The infirmary received regular updates on what was happening, and she felt weak-kneed in relief the first time she heard Rodney's voice calling Dr. Beckett for information. But he was focused on whatever task he was working on and he didn't ask about her. She just took comfort in the fact that now she at least knew he was still alive.

By the end of her shift on the second day, the Wraith still hadn't been captured and all personnel were ordered to stay where they were. Those in the infirmary took shifts through the night caring for the wounded and sleeping when they could.

Jillian was glad she had something to do, to keep her busy. She was sure she would have gone crazy alone in her room wondering what was happening. By morning the Wraith was captured and the all clear was called. Around her the weary staff was replaced by fresh replacements, but Jillian worked on, afraid to go back to her room and find Rodney still not there.

Dr. Beckett found her standing in the store room looking for supplies bleary eyed, with tears running down her face. He tsked and led her gently into his office. He sat her down before pouring her a cup of coffee out of his own pot. She held on to it numbly, not sure what to say or do. She felt stupid and pitiful.

"Now, I can't say I told you so, lass," he began, his brogue soothing, "because I didn't. But I was afraid it was all going too fast for you. You have no idea really of what passes for normal here in the Pegasus Galaxy and marrying Rodney McKay is going to be a trial for anyone. Frankly I didnae think there was anyone up to that challenge."

She blinked away the tears and stared up at his concerned face. It occurred to her that it was rather funny. When she'd first arrived on the Daedalus, Jillian had had a small crush on Dr. Beckett, now he was giving her a rather fatherly speech. She thought she might start laughing at any minute, but she pushed the urge firmly away. Carson was just as likely to sedate her as pat her on the shoulder.

"Now, I know you're a big girl, Jillian, and I think you're strong enough to deal with all this. It's just rather overwhelming."

She did smile at that. Overwhelming was such an understatement.

"But the thing you've got to know is that Rodney is nae going to change. He is what he is. You're the one that's going to have to keep reminding him that you're there now. Only you can know if you're strong enough for that, if you love him enough for that. If you're not, you need to end it now before either one of you is hurt more."

She held the cup tightly, letting it warm her hands, thinking about what he said. She could see the future stretching out in front of her – Rodney gone on missions for days at a time, she would have no idea where he was or what was happening to him. Rodney working on things that only he could comprehend, risking his life over and over to save the city and people he loved, to save her. It made her heart ache in fear. And then she thought of him as she'd known him, sweet and tender and kind of manic and she knew she'd be there for him no matter what, because now she knew what her life was like with him in it and she couldn't imagine it any other way.

"I think I'll stick it out, thanks," she took a sip of the drink in her hand and made a face. It was strong and bitter, but it helped to steady her.

Beckett nodded thoughtfully, "I thought you'd say that. Now, I heard a rumor that he's asleep down in his lab. Maybe there's a better place for him to be sleeping. He is still recovering after all." He took the cup from her hand and helped her up. Impulsively she gave him a quick hug.

"Thanks, Dr. Beckett."

The doctor's face creased in a delighted grin, "It's my pleasure, lass. You've taken on the monster, the rest of us are here for back you up if you need us."

A giggle escaped and he gave her a push to the door.

"Now go and get him and take him home."

It took her a while to find Rodney's lab. There had been a tour of the entire facility when she had first arrived, or at least the part of the city that they were occupying. She had been in awe of the fact that she was in a city that was 10,000 years old and built by the Ancients. She kept hoping she would look in a room and see something that no one else had ever seen before. But it had been a blur of new faces and alien architecture. She had been unable to take it all in.

Then she began her rotation in the infirmary and everything else became secondary. Dr. Beckett insisted that all of his staff was intimately aware of the medical needs of all of the Atlantis personnel. He had a power point presentation complete with pictures and medical records so they would know exactly what they were dealing with in the Pegasus Galaxy. Rodney had been an hour all his own. It was the only reason she knew that day in the mess hall that Dr. Rodney McKay was allergic to citrus.

She finally had to stop a passing marine and ask for directions. He made a face and pointed out the proper corridor.

"You might want to avoid the labs right now, ma'am," he advised her, "I hear Dr. McKay's in a bad mood. That's never a good thing."

"I'll just have to risk it," she answered wryly. "Thanks."

She followed his instructions until she found the corridor. It was busy with white-coated scientists scurrying to and fro. But for all the activity it was strangely quiet. When she spotted the door to Rodney's lab she thought she knew why. There was a sign there, lettered in magic marker – "The beast sleeps, please be quiet."

Dr. Zelenka was sitting at his computer typing as quietly as he could manage when she entered. He looked up, a scowl on his face ready to pounce on any interloper. Relief swept across his face when he saw her. He launched himself from his stool and threw his arms around her.

"Please to take him out of here," he whispered urgently in her ear before fleeing the room himself.

Jillian followed the sounds of Rodney's soft snore to find him sleeping with his head on his work bench, pillowed on an outstretched arm, the other hand clutched an empty coffee cup. His short hair was spiked in little tufts, like he'd been pulling on it in frustration. Jillian paused to wonder if Radek had any photographic evidence before she shook him gently.

"What..." he muttered, not opening his eyes. "Leave me alone, I'm meditating here. Give me ten more minutes and I'll have come up with..."

"Rodney, come on, you can meditate better in your bed," she said running her fingers gently through his hair.

His eyes flew open in surprise. When he saw her standing there his lips curved into a little smile, "Hi."

"Hey," she smiled back. "I've missed you the last few days."

Realization flooded over his face and he sat abruptly, "Oh, god, I'm so sorry, I forgot about you," the words tumbled out. "I mean I didn't forget about you, I thought about you a lot, but first there was the Wraith and then they needed me to help to repair the damage done by the Wraith; and then when it was all over, I came here to try and get some work done and I lost track of time..." his words trailed off as he realized she was just watching him with a grin. "What?" he asked, the puzzlement genuine.

She shook her head, unsure if she could really put into words just how much she loved him. "I'm just not sure if I'm going to like sharing you with an entire damn city, but I guess I'm going to have to figure it out. Now are you coming, or would you rather stay here?"

He glanced at his computer and then back at her. She did her best to look alluring and seductive, but knowing she just wasn't carrying it off in the wrinkled scrubs she'd been wearing for two days. Still, he clicked off the computer and hopped off the stool. He stretched and she heard snaps and crackles. She winced in sympathy.

Then he took her hand and they went home.


When she found out she was pregnant, there was a party the likes of which Atlantis hadn't seen in 10,000 years. The first child born in Atlantis was a big deal and Jillian felt a little crushed by the sheer number of people who felt they should give her helpful advice and tips on being pregnant. She'd never before considered having a child, so she had no idea what to expect. From what she heard, she was certain she wasn't going to like it.

Rodney, on the other hand, was thrilled. The first week after she told him, he brought her treats and made her sit down whenever he saw her. He kept walking around with that mysterious look he got, the one where he knew something she didn't. Of course the new wore off very quickly and they returned to their now-established routine where Rodney would work for days in the lab until she'd had enough and would go make him leave. Radek became her partner in crime (or maybe it was for his own self-preservation) and he would email her when it became critical for Jillian to do an intervention.

She was surprised to find that as her pregnancy progressed Rodney was more supportive. Instead of being scared away by her morning sickness and mood swings, he brought her crackers and rubbed her back. He remained amazingly patient and even managed to remember to come home at a decent hour most of the time.

The off-world missions were the hard part.

He couldn't not go, it just wasn't an option. No one else had his expertise and he loved them too much, he cared about his team too much. She thought if she asked him not to, he might stay home on Atlantis for her, but then he wouldn't be the Rodney McKay that she knew and loved. So, she took to haunting the control room whenever she knew his team was due to return home. The personnel there became used to her presence and they'd ask polite questions about her pregnancy and tell her she was glowing.


So, now she was a week overdue. Rodney's team was late returning home when he'd promised he'd be back and she was in labor and there was no way she was leaving until Rodney came back to be her Lamaze coach.

"Well, here you are," Carson's distinctive brogue made her jump.

She glared at the gate tech who studiously avoided her gaze.

"I've been looking for you everywhere, Jilly," he said softly. "How are you doing?"

She continued chewing on a fingernail and watched the gate. It stubbornly refused to do anything. She wanted to scream at it, throw things at it, but she just sat, chewing on her fingernail trying to remember to breathe as the pain grew inside of her.

Carson pulled her hand away from her mouth and wrapped his fingers around her wrist to take her pulse.

"I think it's time to get you to the infirmary," he said, his voice gentle.

She jerked her hand away. "I'm not going anywhere until Rodney comes home," she declared unequivocally.

"You're in labor, aren't you, lass?" Carson asked.

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, refusing to meet his eyes. "I'm fine, really," she insisted stubbornly. Even though she most definitely wasn't. She didn't like lying to Carson, but she wasn't leaving either until Rodney came walking back through the gate.

"You've been livin' too long with Rodney McKay, lass," Beckett muttered. "Don't make me call for…"

At that moment the gate began to light up.

"Unscheduled off-world activation," the tech called tightly.

There was a flurry of activity as marines rushed into the gateroom, weapons at the ready. Elizabeth appeared from somewhere.

"Carson, you need to get Jillian out of here," she said.

"I'm doing my best, Elizabeth," he answered evenly.

Carson hooked a hand under Jillian's elbow and helped her stand. The truth was, Jillian was past the point where she could have stood on her own. But she still refused to move from her spot, her eyes were fastened on the now open gate. The opening shimmered with the shield that would keep out unwanted visitors. Jillian took a step forward anxiously, and her knees buckled.

"Oh, bloody…" Carson caught her and tried to help her back into the chair, but now she refused to sit.

"Carson, please," she pleaded, clinging to him. She was suddenly aware of a pop and curiously enough she felt water running down her leg. A rising pain swamped her and she whimpered.

"Hang on," Carson said soothingly, easing her back into the chair. She didn't protest this time. She bit her lip as the pain kept pressing upon her.

Carson tapped his radio, "Medical team to the gateroom…" he began.

He was interrupted by the tech, "It's Colonel Sheppard's IDC," he announced urgently.

"Let them in," Elizabeth said, her attention split between the gate and Jillian.

The pain was becoming quickly more than she could bare, and the need to push was overwhelming, but Jillian's attention didn't stray from the gate. "Rodney?" she whispered. Using Carson, she levered herself back to her feet as Teyla emerged from the blue pool of the gate.

"We have a medical emergency," Teyla shouted to anyone listening.

Jillian was rooted to the spot, her eyes now fixed on the scene below them. Sheppard appeared, his weapon at the ready. He swung around just as Ronon emerged with Rodney's limp body slung over his shoulder. One hand hung down Ronon's back, swaying gently.

There were spots dancing in front of Jillian's eyes and there wasn't enough air in the room anymore.

"Holy crap," she heard Carson say as she found the room tilting and the floor came up to meet her.


It was the steady beep of the heart monitor that Rodney was aware of first.. That was never good. He really hated waking up to that sound because it meant that inevitably there was going to be lots of pain. But not at the moment. He did an internal check and found that he felt like he was comfortably cocooned in cotton. The pain was there, but it was keeping its distant, he'd be just as happy if it stayed there.

Dimly he recalled running and an explosion and bright, hot pain. He couldn't quite remember if anyone else had been hurt and he needed to know. As much as he wanted to sink back into the comfortable haze of non pain, he forced his eyes open. He blinked until the infirmary came into focus and a shape swam into view. Rodney blinked again and it solidified into Sheppard bending over him.

"Hey, McKay," John said, hovering anxiously.

Sheppard had a bruise that covered the whole left side of his face and his eye was almost swollen shut. His lip was split and there was a bandage over his ear on the left side. He was stubbly and he looked like he hadn't slept in days, but he was alive and standing on his own power and he looked incredibly relieved to see Rodney awake.

Rodney licked his lips, trying to get his jumbled thoughts into some sort of order. John was okay, but what about Teyla and Ronon? Rodney squinted trying to see if they were just standing back, but they weren't anywhere in sight.

Rodney blinked back up at John. His shape kept shifting weirdly and it was making Rodney nauseous. He closed his eyes and swallowed, his throat dry and raspy. He opened his mouth to speak, to ask about the rest of the team, but nothing came out.

John knew the discomfort and the dry throat a body experienced when it was intubated, he was ready with a cup of ice. He shook one out and slipped it between Rodney's lips. Rodney savored the coolness as it melted slowly, easing the dryness. It didn't help the anxiety that was making his heart beat faster though. He could hear it reflected in the heart monitor as it beat a more staccato rhythm.

John put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed, "Easy, McKay," he said. "You're alright."

Intuitively he knew what Rodney needed to know. It was probably the first thing John thought of when he woke up wounded in the infirmary, "Everyone's okay. Teyla and Ronon are fine. We're a little banged and battered, but everyone's okay. You took the brunt of the blast. We've really got to work on your running and ducking skills."

Rodney nodded, a bare tilt of his head. Relief was making him dizzy. He shut his eyes, listening to the heart monitor, letting it lull him back to sleep.

There was a cry like the sharp cry of a baby and his eyes snapped back open. Jillian. She wasn't there. He had woken up in the infirmary a couple of times over the past year that they'd been married and she'd been there every single time sitting next to Sheppard, whether she was on duty or not, waiting for him to wake up. But now she was nowhere to be seen. How could he have forgotten? Again the rhythm of the heart monitor picked up as panic began to set in.

John frowned down at him, trying to keep him still as Rodney shifted, "Calm down, Rodney."

Rodney attempted to lift himself so he could see better. John had to use both hands to press him back into the bed, attempting to restrain Rodney without hurting him more.

"Beckett is going to have a cow if you bust your stitches," he said sternly. "He spent hours making sure they were all pretty."

The pain washed through Rodney now, but he pushed through it, struggling to form the words. He pleaded with John with his eyes, trying to communicate his need.

"Where?" he managed to whisper. He really needed to know where Jillian was.

John squeezed his shoulder, trying to remain reassuring, but his eyes belied his concern. "You're in the infirmary, McKay. In Atlantis. Don't you remember?"

Rodney shook his head. "Not… what…" He pounded a fist weakly into the bed in frustration.

Carson appeared behind John, already tsking his disapproval.

"Rodney, you've got to calm down. This is nae good." A syringe appeared in his hand and he shouldered in between John and the bed.

"No, no, please," Rodney gasped. "Jillian," he finally managed to get out.

Beckett paused. He and John exchanged a cryptic look. Rodney knew then, somehow he had dreamed it all. There was no Jillian, there was no baby. He felt like he'd lost something valuable and irretrievable.

"Rodney, I need you to calm down, now," Carson injected the contents of the syringe into his IV.

Rodney felt the drug sweeping through him, making his body heavy and leaden. He felt his eyes trying to close and he fought against it.

"No, Carson," he begged.

"Now calm down," Carson insisted again. "I'm going to tell ya what you want to know, but I need you stay calm." Carson spoke slowly, letting the words percolate through Rodney's dazed and drug-hazed mind.

"Are you calm?" he asked.

Rodney nodded. He really wasn't, but the heart monitor was beating a more steady, even rhythm, and that convinced Beckett.

"Alright then, there was a bit of trouble with the delivery of the wee babe."

The fear that was choking him, eased. Rodney swallowed convulsively, his eyes burning with moisture. He hadn't dreamt everything, it was real.

Misreading the cause of his unease, Carson rushed to continue, "Now, it's nothing to be alarmed about. The lass is as stubborn as you and I thought she was goin' to refuse to have the bairn until you could be there, too. I swear, if anyone could have done it, it would be her. But the baby and mamma are both doin' well. I'm going to move her in here with you in a bit, but she's tuckered out right now and I thought she should be in a private room for a while to get her rest."

Rodney had never thought of himself as the marrying kind, of having to be at home at regular hours, of having someone who would make sure he ate right and bitch at him to pick up his dirty socks, but he was. He wanted Jillian and the baby. He had never needed a purpose for his genius. Just saving the people he cared about in Atlantis was enough, making the big discoveries and knowing that he could trust in himself had always been enough. But now that he knew he had someone waiting for him, waiting to hear about his day and to tell him to shut up when he complained too much about Kavanagh made him feel like he'd found something in life he never knew he wanted.

Rodney felt sleep's inexorable pull, but he looked at John for reassurance that what Carson was saying was really so. John grinned and nodded.

"It's a girl, McKay and she looks just like you with brown fuzz for hair and blue eyes like you've never seen. She has a pair of lungs on her, too. I think they heard her screaming clear on the mainland."

The relief made Rodney nearly giddy. He closed his eyes and slept, sure in the knowledge that all was well with his world.

It was a baby's cries that woke Rodney the next time. He stared at the ceiling, reflecting that it was still the most boring sight to wake up to. But god, it was always good to wake up and know you were in the infirmary, safe and in Atlantis. The beep of the heart monitor was gone and his thinking was clearer although the pain was more of a presence. Moving carefully, he turned his head to discover John Sheppard sitting next to him, a baby in his arms. He was making goofy faces at it.

Sitting in a chair beside him was Jillian. She was pale and exhausted-looking , but god, she was there. She smiled as John made stupid faces and held out her arms for the fussy baby.

"She's going to wake up Rodney," Jillian said in a hushed voice as John handed the baby over reluctantly.

"Too late," Rodney whispered feeling like the grin he couldn't hold back was going to break his face.

"McKay," John exclaimed as he stood. "Did you decide to rejoin the land of the living?"

"Well that's obvious, isn't it?" he snapped, just a little jealous that John Sheppard had gotten to hold his daughter before he did.

Jillian shouldered in next to John. She took Rodney's hand and squeezed his fingers gently. There were tears in her eyes. For just a heartbeat Rodney saw the unguarded fear reflected in her eyes – the fear she felt every time he went through the gate that he wasn't going to come back alive. Then he saw the love, too, and the determination that she would always be there for him no matter what.

Rodney squeezed her fingers back and the baby gave an offended squeal that no one was paying any attention to her. Jillian turned her so that Rodney could see his daughter properly for the first time. She looked just like he'd dreamed her a year before with a dusting of brown hair and brilliant blue eyes that regarded him with an intelligence that amazed and frightened him. He smoothed a finger over her soft little hands.

"So, McKay," Sheppard bounced on his heels, peeking over Jillian's shoulder trying to draw the baby's attention back to him. "What are you going to name her?"

Rodney opened his mouth and nothing came out. He'd just thought Jillian would have done that. He looked up at Jillian with a brow raised. She rolled her eyes at him.

"She doesn't have a name yet, Rodney, I didn't want to name her until you…" Jillian shrugged, not willing to finish the sentence but Rodney heard what she left unspoken. I didn't want to name her until you woke up, if you ever did.

He wished he could promise her that he wouldn't do it again, but he couldn't. So he settled for smiling a little crookedly and saying with a bit of his usual bravado, "I see that my input is vital to every operation, just as I thought," he clung to Jillian's fingers and felt her hanging on just as tightly. John stood back and watched them with a bemused smile and maybe he looked a little jealous of Dr. Rodney McKay.

"You said you had a name, but you never would tell me what it was," Jillian said, just a hint of reproof in her tone. She'd wheedled and bribed him for weeks, but he wouldn't give up the name. It seemed silly now, but he'd been superstitious, too, of giving up the name too soon. Of somehow jinxing their good fortune. Now, he was hesitant, what if she hated the name? What if there was one Jillian wanted to use more?

He took a breath, just a small one, because anything too deep hurt. "My mother's name was Margaret." He searched Jillian's eyes trying to see how she felt about the name.

Jillian looked down at the bundle in her arms and back to Rodney. When she smiled, Rodney let out the breath he hadn't been aware he'd been holding.

"I like it. Maggie McKay, meet your daddy," Jillian laid the baby carefully in Rodney's arms. Maggie stopped her fussing and made herself comfortable before shutting her eyes and dropping into sleep.

Feeling the baby sleeping on his chest, Rodney had an odd sense of déjà vu and he realized that he'd finally caught up with his dream self. From here on he wasn't certain where his life was going, but that had been true since he set foot in Atlantis.

And so far everything had turned out okay.

The End