Link awoke with a burning in his lungs and a blue bleariness in his eyes. It took him a moment to realize this was because he was underwater. His hands and feet were tied together behind his back, and his velvet robe was a brick dragging him down.
Link didn't panic. It wasn't in his nature. He did, however, worry. Rather frantically. His worries were interrupted by a girlish giggle, then large angular blue eys appeared before his face. Despite the youth in her laugh, the Zora woman was clearly closer to Link's age. She began to untie him, and then dragged him up to the surface using her powerful fins. She pulled him onto the grassy shore of Lake Hylia.
"So I hear Hyrule burns, King," she laughed. He tried not to look at her smooth, wet, naked, blue body. "Well aren't you a talktative little monarch. What promises have you come here to break today? Why should my people help you?" Link, still out of breath, puffed, "Who are you and what are you talking about?" "Ah... surely you understand it was not just a dream. I am Ruto, the same you almost married, the Queen of my people, and the Water Sage. And I remember you. I am a sage. I remember it all."
Link sighed in exasperation. "I never almost married you." -"Whatever." -"So help me because you owe me."
"Yes I probably do. We all do. But don't expect others to remember it." She looked whistful.
Link rose to his feet and shed the heavy robe. Under it he wore a tight green tunic and white tights.
"A-ha! That's better," smiled Queen Ruto.
Link ignored her.
"Well, anyway, the only weapon our people have- I assume you only wanted a weapon from me- is the sword of our ancestry. And I won't give that to you unless you do something for me." She eyed him questioningly.
Great, thought Link, another quest. I do not have time for this, and I'd rather not examine the digestive systems of any more gods. He said- "what?"
"Kiss me." Her blue eyes goggled laughingly at him. He stepped up to her, grabbed her thin blue shoulder, and...
