NIGHT OF THE VAMPIRE

CHAPTER TWO

It was a dark and cloudy night in Soul Society. Shinigami patrols walked the streets on their customary routes, unaware of the horror which would soon reach out to touch the farthest corners of Seireitai.

Fortunately for Yoruichi and her volunteers, they arrived outside Seireitai, in the same location as they had done previously.

Ishida had managed to save his bow and arrows from damage on landing. He had done so by collapsing on top of Ichigo, who had collapsed on top of Renji, who had collapsed on top of Rukia, who would have been complaining very loudly if she had any breath left in her body.

"Yes," Orihime commiserated as they extricated themselves, "but just think how much worse it would have been if Chad had landed on top of you!"

Chad grunted, and pointed towards the gate location. "You think that Jidanbou's going to let us through this time?"

"If not," Yoruichi said grimly, " he can take the message."

Ishida's eyes narrowed. "Yoruichi-san, there isn't something that you're not telling us about what tends to happen to bearers of bad news around here?"

"Perish the thought," Yoruichi said briskly. "Now let's get a move on."

---

Inside the walls (Jidanbou had not only let them in, he had pushed them through and then vanished with remarkable speed) Soul Society seemed much as usual.

"We oughta head for Sixth Division," Renji suggested. "The Captain'll want to know about this."

"Thirteenth might be closer," Rukia pointed out. "If we split into two groups, then we can spread the alert that much faster. Though it doesn't look as if Aizen or anyone else is here yet . . ."

Indeed, all was dark and quiet, apart from the screams and flaring lights coming from Eleventh Division; but that was perfectly normal, as Yoruichi had reminded them, and hardly a sign of incipient invasion.

"Okay," Ichigo declared. "I'll take Rukia and Orihime, and we'll go and alert Thirteenth. Renji, you take Chad and Yoruichi and Ishida --"

"Didn't Urahara say something about not splitting up?" Orihime asked. "Not that I mind going on a heroic adventure with you, Kurosaki-kun, but what if it's a bad idea?"

Renji snorted. "At the moment, I'm not sure I'd trust anything that fucking Urahara said. What does he know about vampires, anyhow?"

Yoruichi licked behind a shoulderblade. "Good point. You don't want to hear about that business in California."

"How can we tell if someone's a vampire?" Ishida asked hastily. He'd been worrying about this for a while now. "Are the pointy fangs a definite, or can they hide them?"

Rukia began counting off on her fingers. "Pointed teeth, burning eyes, pale skin, unnatural sexual attractiveness --"

"Ooh yes!" Orihime added. "They make you want to go weak at the knees and surrender yourself to their vile embraces and when they sink their teeth into your neck, it's like --"

Ishida flushed. "I'm sure that's just propaganda," he said. "They probably just say so in order to get groupies."

Renji snorted. "Load of crap. Nothing sexy about it at all. Vampires are just pale underfed thin types who even Rukia could -- ow ow ow shit Rukia mmpfh."

"Thirteenth Division is this way, right?" Ichigo asked as he dragged Rukia off Renji's bleeding body.

Chad sighed. "No. It's that way." When everyone looked at him, he added, "I memorised a map. Last time. In case we ended up coming back."

---

Rukia led the way through the maze of streets, glancing nervously from side to side each time they passed a crossroads.

"You know," Ichigo said thoughtfully, "last time we were out here, we were being chased by those Eleventh Division lunatics."

"But they were so nice!" Orihime protested. "Ikkaku-chan was really kind, and Yumichika-chan used to say all these flattering things about how beautiful I was, and --"

There was a crash from ahead of them. With catlike reflexes, Rukia leapt into the shadows to take cover, then slapped her head as she realised the other three were simply standing there and staring.

Captain Zaraki Kenpachi stood there, silhouetted against a burning chunk of building, brandishing his sword, holding off what looked like most of Eleventh Division, all of whom were displaying flashing white fangs. "Come on!" he yelled, laughing. "A decent fight at last! Come on, the lot of you . . ."

Yachiru landed with a bump on Ichigo's shoulder. "Icchy-chan! Oo! Ken-chan will be so pleased to see you!"

"Isn't he a bit busy at the moment?" Ichigo said hastily. "I wouldn't want to interrupt another good fight."

"Awww." Yachiru pouted. "You're so thoughtful." She flashed little fangs.

Orihime gasped. "Yachiru! You're a vampire!"

Yachiru blinked. "Is that what it's called?"

"But how did it happen?" Rukia asked, emerging from the shadows.

Yachiru put her hand under her chin, looking thoughtful. "Well, earlier this evening that Hanatarou guy came round from Fourth Division and he said that everyone had to have a vaccination, and he set up a booth, and you had to put your arm through under the curtain, and then he stuck a needle into it or something. But Ken-chan hasn't had his yet! I'm going to go and scold him!"

Ichigo frowned. "Isn't that cheating?" he asked Rukia.

"Well." Rukia shrugged. "It is Hanatarou. Can you imagine him biting someone's neck?"

"He said he had indigestion when I saw him later," Yachiru added.

"Oh, look!" said Ichigo hastily, and pointed at the middle distance. "A challenger for Captain Zaraki!"

Yachiru bounded off with a squeal of delight.

"This way," Rukia said, and they ran.

---

"Captain!" Renji exclaimed joyfully

Kuchiki Byakuya regarded them with a glassy stare. His scarf drifted in the night wind, and the moonlight turned his pale skin to white jade. "Renji," he whispered.

Ishida squinted. "Is he always that pale?" he whispered to Yoruichi.

"Renji," Kuchiki Byakuya intoned, and extended a beckoning finger. Fangs glinted as he spoke.

Ishida took cover behind Chad.

"I, um . . ." Renji seemed to be swallowing. "I have to challenge Captain Kuchiki alone. Matter of honour. Why don't the rest of you just go and alert someone else."

"Shouldn't we help you?" Chad asked. "What if --"

"No no no," Renji said hastily, eyes riveted on the approaching gliding form of Kuchiki Byakuya. "It's a shinigami thing, you wouldn't understand. Have to tackle him single-handedly and go down, um, take him down, that's right, why don't you just go and leave the two of us alone."

Yoruichi rolled her eyes. "Come along," she said, assuming human form and grabbing Chad and Ishida by their collars.

There was a distinct lack of shikai, bankai, or other fighting noises as they left.

---

They ran into Captain Hitsugaya as he came out of the gateway of Tenth Division. He lay there as Ichigo dragged Rukia off him, quivering gently, eyes haunted by some ghastly horror that he had experienced.

"Hitsugaya-kun?" Orihime asked, administering several therapeutic shakes. "Are you all right?"

The Captain's eyes fixed on her bosom, crossed, recrossed, and finally returned to normal. "V-v-vampires . . ." he gasped.

"Excuse me." Ichigo leaned in, peeled back Hitsugaya's upper lip, and checked his canine length. "Still human. Okay."

"She came towards me," Hitsugaya gasped, "with her fangs bared and her tongue licking her red lips, and her arms open to draw me into her embrace! But I could resist her breasts! I could look away! I fled when another man would have stayed and had his blood drained in her evil vampiric arms!"

"I think she's coming after him," Rukia reported, peering round the gateway into the Tenth Division Compound. "Oh, wait, she's stopped to drag Ichimaru Gin back into the bedroom."

"Let's try another Division," Ichigo said hastily. "Which would you suggest, Hitsugaya?"

Hitsugaya straightened. "We must go to Fourth! If they're working on this vampirism thing, they'll be doing it there. Besides, I must protect Hinamori!"

---

"We could try Eighth," suggested Chad, who had been much impressed by Captain Kyouraku's style, mercy, broad shoulders, and alcohol consumption.

"It's a thought," Yoruichi agreed. "We'd better stay off the streets, though. Come here, you two."

Leaping across the rooftops, the three of them headed towards Eighth Division.

"I have an idea," Yoruichi stated, in a way that made it clear it was not merely an idea, it was the new policy. "Instead of trying to get in through the main gates, we'll go directly to the Captain's quarters. That should make things quicker."

"Won't he object to being disturbed?" Ishida queried.

"Don't worry," Yoruichi said. "He'll probably still be up with some alcohol and a -- that is, I'll go first and you two don't look in until I've given the all clear."

Stealthily they leapt down from the roof and crept along several walkways. Chad found it somewhat surprising that Yoruichi knew the way despite not having been here for decades, but decided not to ask her about it when Ishida made a number of urgent hand signals at him.

Yoruichi halted at a particular door, then leaned forward to read the sign attached to it. The two young men peered over her shoulder.

BEING VAMPIRISED. DO NOT DISTURB. VICE-CAPTAIN ISE NANAO.

Chad and Ishida gasped. "We must save her!" Chad growled.

"From the lecherous clutches of that vile monster her Captain!" Ishida added. He'd always liked that particular Vice-Captain. Perhaps it was the glasses.

"Just a moment." Yoruichi carefully took hold of the edge of the door, and eased it slightly open, then peered round it. Her eyes widened.

"Is it all a cunning ploy meant to distract vampires?" Ishida asked hopefully.

"No," Yoruichi said, shutting the door again, "but unfortunately Rukia's not going to have any luck finding Ukitake at home either. I suggest we go and enquire somewhere else."

Ishida turned bright scarlet. "You don't mean . . ."

"She does," Chad stated, opening the door to look.

"Stop that!" Yoruichi smacked his hand. The door slid shut.

"But that's awful!" Ishida gasped, wriggling round to try and see.

"Out of here, now," Yoruichi said through gritted teeth, dragging them away.

---

Ichigo and his cohorts ended up rediverting to Thirteenth Division again because, as Rukia pointed out, it was closer than Fourth Division, and if they didn't then she was going to go and report to Captain Ukitake on her own and it'd be all Ichigo's fault if he ended up being set upon by beautiful female vampires without her there and having his blood drained in unspeakable sensual rapture. Orihime found this argument extremely convincing, and Ichigo gave in rather sulkily.

However, as they approached the gates of Thirteenth Division, they saw the two Third Seats loitering there -- and worse, that both of them were flashing pointy fangs. They were, however, still arguing.

"It's too late," Hitsugaya hissed, dragging Rukia back round the corner. "We can't get in there now. And if they've been turned into vampires, then so will Ukitake have been!"

"Why can't we just go and ask them?" Orihime suggested cheerfully.

"Because we're not vampires, Inoue," Ichigo pointed out.

"But we could pretend to be!" Orihime chirped. "I mean, it's just the teeth, isn't it?"

There was a pause as they looked at each other.

A few minutes later, with some hastily-manufactured ice fangs, the four of them approached Third Seat Kotetsu and Third Seat Kotsubaki. Rukia, in the lead, waved a cheerful if somewhat nervous hand.

"Kuchiki!" Third Seat Kotsubaki greeted her with a sharp-toothed grin. "How good to see you've joined us in the eternal ranks of blood-thirsting damnation!"

Third Seat Kotetsu nodded happily. "And I got bitten by Captain Ukitake first!"

"Oh no you didn't," Kotsubaki hissed. "He bit me first."

"Didn't."

"Did."

Rukia coughed. "Ah, can I ask the current status of the, um, great crusade against the living and the eternal conquest of sensual night?"

"Oh, I think most of the Divisions have been at least moderately affected now," Kotetsu replied. "The only ones that haven't really been touched yet are First and Twelfth."

"First I can understand," Ichigo commented, "but why Twelfth?"

Kotsubaki glanced to left and right before lowering his voice. "Would you really want to drink Captain Kurotsuchi's blood?"

"You have a point," Rukia conceded.

"But what about Fourth?" Hitsugaya broke in. "What about poor helpless innocent Hinamori!"

Kotetsu and Kotsubaki coughed and exchanged meaningful glances. Kotsubaki eventually said, "Well, she was looking much more cheerful after those hours that Captain Aizen spent in private with her, even if he was looking awfully drained . . ."

"How romantic," Orihime breathed, pressing her hands to her bosom.

"Hinamori!" Hitsugaya screamed in pain. "I must rescue her from eternal damnation! Curse the fiend!"

There was a pause.

"Your fangs just fell out, Captain Hitsugaya," Kotetsu said.

Kotsubaki reached forward and peeled back Rukia's lip. "And yours are melting."

"Secret ninja fangs," Ichigo said hastily. "We're on an undercover mission to impersonate normal humans."

"Oh," Kotsubaki said, temporarily appeased. "Right."

"And we have to be going," Orihime said, grabbing the struggling Hitsugaya. "We'll be glad to see you later, give our love to Captain Ukitake . . ."

They made it halfway down the street before there was a yell of fury as the Third Seats caught on, and they managed to lose them around a corner a few minutes later.

---

Making their way along the rooftops, Yoruichi and her escorts sighted a disconsolate Kira Izuru sitting broodingly by the side of the road.

"He must be a vampire," Ishida hissed, aiming an arrow. "I think I can take him out from here --"

"We ought to check," Chad said disapprovingly. "What if he didn't get bitten?"

"Easy enough," Yoruichi said, and held Ishida in front of her, ignoring his frantic struggles as she exposed his neck. "Hey! Vice-Captain Kira Izuru! Want some nice fresh blood?"

Kira looked up gloomily. "Oh. Good evening, Shihouin Yoruichi, gentlemen. No, thank you. I don't want any blood."

"There you go," said Yoruichi, putting Ishida down. "Look, no fangs."

Ishida jumped down from the rooftop, and settled his capes. "But -- that is, one rather assumed that --"

Kira sniffed. "Captain Ichimaru didn't bite me. He went to bite Matsumoto Rangiku instead." His lip quivered. "He told me that if I stayed at home like a good boy and kept myself all nice and untouched for him, maybe later he'd come by . . ."

"You shouldn't put up with that sort of thing," Ishida said, with sudden sympathy. "Nobody should have to be second choice like that."

Chad nodded. "Perhaps if you found some sort of way to show him you cared . . ."

Kira's eyes glittered with a manic, psychotic light. "Nothing says, "I care," like a stake in the back. I've got one I'm sharpening just for him."

"Children," Yoruichi said, "let us go somewhere else. Twelfth Division, perhaps. The situation is getting desperate."

---