Warning: This chapter starts off a bit... gory. If you don't want to read the start of it, you can probably still keep up with what's happening.
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Somewhere in Hermione's hell, she could hear music. Loud music. The... Goo Goo Dolls? This was the music they played in hell? If so, she was quite impressed.
Her parents were lying on the floor. Her dad had disappeared from sight in a mass of flames ten minutes earlier. He hadn't heard her as she begged for his forgiveness for not being able to save him. He hadn't heard her as she'd told him she loved him. She'd been able to smell his flesh cooking as she'd watched him burn, only grateful that the smoke inhalation had managed to kill him before the flames had, although she wasn't sure which was worse.
Her mother was still in the room with her, next to her on the bed. Her clothes burnt off, her hair gone, her scalp covered in blisters. She was choking and gasping, for whatever reason taking longer to die than her father had.
Hermione wasn't far off death herself. She could feel her skin burning, her eyes stung so badly she could barely open them. She couldn't breathe.
She'd tried to run out of the house for help, or just to get away from the pain, but all the doors and windows had been locked, even as she'd tried to walk through the fire to get out. Her parents had banged on the windows, screaming for help.
Hermione sobbed, giving up. God, it hurt. If she'd just hurry up and die, the pain would go away. And she wouldn't have to hear her mother screaming.
The song was playing again, getting louder. It was almost drowning out her mother's screams and the crackling of the fire, eating at her home.
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
And underneath that music, singing along with the Goo Goo Dolls... was that... Severus? Singing? She almost took her mind off the pain for a moment to contemplate the idea of Severus Snape, singing.
She looked back down at her burnt body. It hurt a little less. Was this what happened when you were dying? Did everything stop hurting?
The song started again. It almost felt like he was singing it to her.
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
"Severus?" she croaked through the smoke, barely able to make a sound, her lungs too coated with the thick, black smoke.
Just over the music, she could have sworn she heard him tell her to 'get her act together, summon that Gryffindor courage and get the hell out of there.'
"Tried. Locked," she managed to gasp.
"Not like that, you silly girl." She definitely heard that. The pain was getting a little less too. Was she going to hell? Was Severus the Devil or the Hellish equivalent of St Peter or something?
"This is a curse; a sort of dream you're in. You have to get out with your mind, not your body."
"So tired..." she gasped. God, she couldn't breathe. She felt so light-headed.
"Hermione!" the voice was sharp. "Pull yourself together!"
She gasped for breath.
"God Hermione. Don't die. Come back to me, please." The voice was desperate, almost despairing.
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be brokenI just want you to know who I am
"Please, Hermione."
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
She could feel his lips on hers. That was strange. He wasn't here – no one was here any more. Even her mother had finally stopped screaming. But somehow, he was there, holding her, kissing her. She just couldn't see him.
She relaxed her body, feeling herself being pulled against his chest. She felt like she was lying down, but she couldn't be – she was sitting on a burning bed in her house, the fire everywhere now. But it wasn't touching her. It was licking at her ankles, but suddenly her body wasn't scarred and blistered any more.
"Severus, I'm sorry," she said, her voice stronger than it had been. "I didn't want to make you hate me. I just wanted you to know that what happened wasn't your fault. I didn't want to lose what I had left of you. I'm so sorry."
"Shush, child. I've got you now. I don't hate you. You didn't lose me."
"I'm just so lonely," she whispered, burying her head in his chest. "And so scared."
How was she touching him? He wasn't there? But the fire was fading into black. Everything was going black again. And the pain was finally leaving her head.
"When I'm around you, I don't feel as lonely."
Severus closed his eyes as if in pain. Albus watched from the doorway for a second, before leaving to fetch Madame Pomfrey. Hermione was coming back to them.
"How can you possibly be lonely with Potter and Weasley for company?" Severus muttered, sarcastically, his lips pressed against her forehead.
He leaned down to kiss her lips again and this time she kissed him back. Her mouth opened and she let him in. Her arms wrapped around him and one of her legs hooked itself over his hip. She was pressing herself as close to him as possible, kissing him hard, her black eyes suddenly closing, for the first time in nearly forty minutes.
He closed his own eyes in relief.
"Am I dead?" she stopped kissing him to ask.
"Bloody Gryffindors, always so melodramatic," he said, laughing as he held her close. "Open your eyes."
"I'm afraid to," she said, knowing that if she opened her eyes, the flames would be there again, licking at her body.
"I've got you. Trust me," he whispered.
She slowly opened her eyes, having difficulty focusing for a few seconds, before leaning back to take in Severus' face.
"What happened?"
Her eyes were normal again he was relieved to discover. Her breathing was almost normal and she was asking questions. That had to be a good sign.
"Draco cursed you," he explained as quickly and simply as he could. "Lucius set fire to your house, locking the clone versions of your parents in it, and Draco put a spell on you, so you'd feel like you were there. An old Death Eater torture game."
He felt sick. He'd performed a spell like that once before. Once, and only once. He'd let the man he had cursed live through about five minutes of watching his family drown, before he'd quickly killed him himself. Voldemort had tortured him for hours for that display of weakness.
He should have just let Voldemort kill him.
"If Albus hadn't moved my parents..."
"Yes, but he did. They are safe, Hermione." He was still holding her close, but knew he should get up. Albus would want to fire him pretty soon and he should probably pack first.
He sat up, pulling the girl slowly to a sitting position. She groaned as her body protested against the time she'd spent curled up in a stiff ball.
"Look, Hermione," he started, hearing Albus coming through the main door to his quarters. He quickly pointed his wand at the bedroom door, stopping Albus and Madame Pomfrey from coming in. Then he cast a silencing charm.
"I won't be allowed to stay at Hogwarts, Hermione," he said, his palm cupping her cheek as he looked seriously into her face. "I don't even know if I'll see you again. But I want you to know that I do care. More than you could ever know."
She looked confused. "Why won't you be able to stay?"
Severus pointed to the doorway, where Dumbledore was staring in at them, with his arms folded, while Madame Pomfrey paced up and down, muttering.
"Oh."
"Yes, oh."
"I could explain; tell him it's my fault..." she started.
Severus lifted a finger to her lips and pulled her so she was sitting on the end of the bed, her feet on the floor.
"No," he said, quietly. "Go, get on with your life."
"You don't want to keep in touch?"
"You have an amazing future ahead of you. You won't need me."
Severus thought grimly of what Voldemort would say about this. He would no longer be useful to him and would probably be killed for his stupidity. He wouldn't be around to be needed by her, even if she did ever need someone like him.
A half satisfying, half terrible thought occurred to him. He could sort things out for Hermione once and for all, if he no longer had to keep up his role as a spy. He hated killing, but this murder would be a necessary evil. Draco's life for hers...
She was watching him, he realized. She knew what he was thinking and her eyes showed her horror.
"No. You can't do that. I will leave. I will go into hiding. But you won't do that."
Severus sighed. How could someone so good and pure ever have wanted him?
She reached up for his hand and let him help her get to her feet. "Promise me?"
Severus sighed again, before snarling, "Fine," in a tight voice.
She pulled his head down to hers and almost touched his lips with hers.
"I know you don't want me," she said, in a whisper. "And that's the reason I won't push to keep you in my life. But if you ever do find yourself thinking about me, find me."
Severus closed his eyes. He couldn't tell her. It wasn't fair to her. He closed the tiny gap between their mouths and kissed her, slowly and deeply. It was full of passion and tenderness. It was pain, loss and wanting. They clung to each other desperately, Severus finally letting his barriers down in front of her as tears of pain and relief poured down his face.
He kissed her over and over again, holding her so tightly it hurt, until Dumbledore finally appeared next to them, having somehow got through Severus' barrier. His face was blank as he gently pulled Hermione's arms from around Severus' neck, ignoring her protests. He led Severus out of the room quickly and Severus went easily, his shoulders slumped in defeat.
Madame Pomfrey immediately began fussing over Hermione and she watched as Severus gave her one last lingering look as he followed Albus.
Then she finally allowed herself to collapse back on the bed and started shaking from head to toe.
