A/N: following chapter 2, after this the story will divulge so likely i'll be posting all the chapters at once and then you can cycle through the ones you want to read! :) Enjoy!

Toma is not out of breath when he reaches your apartment and rings the doorbell, but by the wrinkling of his clothing you suspect he ran the whole way to you. He looks eerily calm you think, even as you bow and let him in. He scans the studio, as if he was expecting someone else to be there. The motion makes you quirk your eyebrow despite yourself, a little bit amused if anything.

He stops suddenly in the middle of the room. "You said you were busy?" he says and his voice sounds accusatory. It confuses you.

You explain to him that you were; you and Shin were out all day. When you tell him, your eyes wander to the clock overhanging in the kitchen, reading 7:00PM. It's late; and Toma showed up anyway, clothes clean and smelling fresh. That confuses you too, but you're unable to put your finger on why.

Toma sighs, running a hand through slightly damp blond locks. He looks at you gently, his light eyes blinking, and your heart skips a beat. "Shin was watching you? ...I see. So you are OK."

He seems to be reasoning with himself by the intense look on his face, but your room is not exceptionally cool and his pacing makes you nervous. When it looks like he's begun to work himself up into another sweat, you offer to make him tea-coffee-you correct yourself smoothly, not knowing where it came from. Toma breathes a soft laugh at the suggestion.

His lips quirk upwards in a smile. "Yes please." He says it so sweetly, like sugar melting in his mouth. You don't know if you look as red as you feel, but you scurry into the 'kitchen' and put your coffee maker to work. Orion coaxes you to calm down in the back of your mind; even he notices the shaking in your slender hands with the brand of coffee you hope Toma will enjoy.

It takes a total of four minutes to brew and pour Toma a cup of coffee. As you do, you notice that he rid himself of his shoes and was slouching against your bed, dampened neck and collarbone exposed through the thin fabric of his striped shirt. He smiles at you cheekily and accepts the mug without another word, as if he doesn't notice the stare. But something in the back of your mind nags at you that he did, anyway.

"Did you have fun with Shin? Well, I guess you did since it's so late…" Toma eyes you suspiciously, and the air hangs tensely as if he's expecting you to fill in the blanks. Your lips thin into a line in response, not wanting to reveal the details of you and Shin's special day.

Hm? Toma looks a little unhappy about that, just now... Orion echoes in the background, an incredulous statement because you can't tell by the look of his face. Nothing is happening. Toma is sipping his coffee and his trained eyes are on you, you're sitting beside him, body curled inwards protectively.

Nothing is happening. But your stomach is doing backflips.

Toma starts to fill in the silence by telling you all about work and what you've missed while in the hospital. You're familiar again with everyone he mentions-Waka, Mine, Sawa. He smiles at you brightly, and it's easy to get comfortable just listening to him talk and explain things more. But then he quiets himself suddenly, and a big exhale leaves his lips.

He glances up at you, uncertain. "Hey...why'd you let me in? Didn't you realize that we'd be alone together?"

You blink at him, confused by his meaning. He sighs again, and downs the rest of his coffee in one gulp. Some steeliness is in his gaze when he looks at you again.

"The stuff Shin said about me, your missing memory...you haven't complained a bit. Even now, I feel like even if I scooted closer to you you wouldn't flinch. Why are you taking it so easy on me?"

You don't answer him, but the challenge in his words makes you actually close the gap between the two of you on the floor. His eyes widened.

"Are you listening to me?" He said incredulously. "Is this you just flirting? No...you're too nice for that. Still, I am a man so you have to keep a reasonable distance from me." He flashes you another smile. "Besides, Shin would kill me." You giggle when he says this, picturing the two of them arguing and it puts your heart at ease. Even if for the moment you are the cause of their argument and drift, just remembering how things used to be-what you can remember-makes you feel safer than you feel you deserve to be.

While you think this though, you don't notice that Toma has also moved himself closer to you, until your thighs are brushing against each other. You open your mouth to stutter an apology when suddenly his fingers entwine in your hair as he yanks your head down to rest on his shoulder. The grip is too tight to lift your head and see his expression; likely on purpose. So you can only hear the wild thumping of Toma's heartbeat and his low voice rumble vibrations through his chest. It makes you blush, and you murmur his name uncertainly against the fabric of his shirt. "See? Now look what I've done. And here I thought I was able to give you up to him," he says, ignoring your calling of his name. "I am too cowardly to be honest and too greedy to let go. I really am the worst kind of person….but, even so, you have to believe that I only ever meant to protect you from harm. Even if that harm was me. I don't ever want to see you sad."

You swallow thickly and nod, as he trails off and lets silence envelop you both. It's heavier than you imagined it would be, like something unspoken was left in the air. His fingers start to stroke your head gently, as if he's afraid to hurt you somehow. His touch is too light and frightened, and you don't know why.

"I'd do anything." He says, repeating the same strokes to your scalp over and over. "Sometimes I surprise myself with just how far I am willing to-no, forget it. I've already said too much." He releases you, and you suddenly feel a bit colder. Toma just offers you a kind smile to which you mirror, and then he stands, brushing off his jeans.

"I'll be taking my leave now. Thanks for the coffee. Ah, I guess we'll see each other again at work tomorrow? Make sure to lock the door."

You nod and wave, still seated as Toma throws you one last look over his shoulder before he leaves, closing the door quietly behind him. That look haunts you all the way to bed, leaving your legs weak.

All you can think about Toma's face...both handsome and sad.


this will be switching back and forth between the characters, next chapter is for shin - hope you enjoyed!