She had agreed with Poppy that she would spend four days in the hospital wing, to make sure she had recovered. She had wanted to stay for a day and Poppy had wanted her to stay for ten days, so Hermione was quite proud of her achievement – Poppy wasn't an easy adversary to vie with.
Finding out about her pregnancy had somehow shocked her out of her depression. Or it could have been the coma. Either way, Hermione wanted to get back to classes. She'd had Harry bring her all his notes and all her books, but she knew she'd never really get a chance to catch up until she was out of the hospital and back on her feet again.
On her third day there, Hermione had given up hope of Severus actually coming to see her again. She knew from Poppy and Albus that Severus had barely left her side while she was ill, even going so far as to eat and sleep with her. So why hadn't he come back now she was awake again? Surely she would at least make for better company now she was actually conscious and capable of a two-sided conversation?
She was frustrated and annoyed that Severus kept avoiding her every time she thought she'd made some headway with him. How could a man be so brave when it came to facing death every day of his life, but be such a coward when it came to having feelings about anyone or anything?
Ron also hadn't been to see her, although Harry had assured her that he too had been to visit her every day while she was unconscious. She was going to get a complex if this carried on. Was she really such better company when she couldn't talk? She decided not to contemplate that worrying notion.
"He talked to you about Quidditch," Harry had told her, talking about Ron and grinning.
"So he was trying to bore me out of my coma?" Hermione had asked, dryly. The one good thing about still being in hospital was the lack of Quidditch talk at meal times. It was almost tempting enough for her to consider taking Poppy up on the offer of an extra week in there. It was even almost tempting enough for her to 'accidentally' break a few bones to stay in there even longer.
She knew she had to talk to Ron to sort things out between them, but Severus was more at the forefront of her mind, along with this new life inside her.
When Severus told her she was pregnant, it had been more of a shock than it should have been. She had known her period was late and despite all the stress she had suffered lately, she had been quite sure that wasn't the cause. But she hadn't wanted to think about it, already, having so much to worry about, so she hadn't let herself think too seriously about the possibility after that first night and put it to the back of her mind.
Now Severus had brought it rushing to the forefront of her mind and she couldn't push it back again. When Minerva had visited, she had tentatively asked her if she knew of any books about pregnancy that she could get hold of for her. Minerva had smiled kindly and had brought two books to her that night, one Muggle Pregnancy book (Pregnancy and Birth by Miriam Stoppard) and one Wizard Pregnancy book (A Witch's guide to Pregnancy and Birth, also by Miriam Stoppard).
Minerva had informed her that there were important differences between what she knew of Muggle practices and Wizard practices and she needed to be aware of them. The kind professor had only asked once who the father was. She'd asked directly, looking Hermione in the eyes and Hermione had felt guilty telling her that she couldn't tell her. Everyone who knew was being so kind.
Poppy had performed a scan on her stomach, using her wand and a muttered spell, letting Hermione see the baby in her stomach if she craned her neck a little. It was amazing, although she still wasn't sure she'd ever come to terms with it.
Albus had been to talk to her, but as usual had said a lot without saying much, and she was too confused by everything else to try to figure him out. There was a queue of people she had to figure out and Severus was definitely first in the queue. The others would have to wait a while.
She wondered how he was coping with the news of his impending fatherhood. Badly, she figured, given that he hadn't actually been to see her to talk about things since the day he'd found out that the baby really was his.
She had fobbed all her friends off with some story about after effects of the curse, although she knew full well that Harry and Ginny at least didn't believe her, although thankfully neither pushed her for the truth. She wasn't ready to tell them yet, even though she knew that someday she would have to.
She had wanted to talk to Severus about Draco. She hadn't made any headway at all with him; it wasn't easy when the git in question had tried to kill her, and now she had her baby to think about too so she knew she'd have to find a better way to protect them both. What if he attacked her one night and hurt the baby? She didn't think she could ever turn someone capable of what he had done to her, but she also didn't want to leave the safety of Hogwarts.
Maybe I should try talking to Albus, she thought, sighing defeatedly. If Severus is so keen to avoid me, then chasing him will only make him want to avoid me more.
She was tired of playing games and trying to work him out. She would send him a letter, she decided. A neutral letter that would make him see that she didn't want anything from him, so he wouldn't feel like he had to keep away from her, as he so obviously did.
She plumped up her pillows and picked up the quill from her bedside.
Now, what could she write?
She wrote quickly, not giving herself time to think, because she knew she'd never send it at all if she did. Then she tied the note to Hedwig's leg, with instructions to find Severus.
Harry had left Hedwig by Hermione's side when he'd finally come back from informing Poppy that Hermione had disappeared, with her bed. Poppy had quickly forgotten her idea of sending Harry to St Mungos' when she had spotted the large Snowy Owl perched on Hermione's bed.
Poppy had tried everything to get rid of her, but the owl, obeying Harry's orders, had just flown around and around the room every time Poppy tried to grab her. In the end the exhausted Medi-Witch had admitted defeat and had given the bird a bowl of owl treats, telling Hermione that her 'plan B' was to feed the owl enough that it wouldn't be able to fly away from her anymore.
And the plan is working, Hermione observed as she took in the way Hedwig had to flap her wings just that bit harder to get airborne with Severus' letter.
Hedwig flew directly to Severus, who was patrolling the halls as a way of stopping himself from both thinking too much, or going and seeing Hermione; either of which being very, very bad things to do in his current mental state.
He untied the note from the owl's leg, realizing at once from whom the letter must be.
He unrolled the parchment and glared at it. It was completely blank. Did Hermione think this was amusing? Was she that bored in the hospital ward? Or was she trying to annoy him into coming to see her?
As he brushed his fingers over the parchment, he felt his fingers tingle and looked down. Words appeared as he touched them. She had charmed the letter to make it sensitive to his touch, so he would be the only person able to read it. Very clever. He was going to award Gryffindor some points for the ingenious spell, he was that impressed.
Professor Snape (respectful enough for you, sir?),
I understand that you have probably seen and heard enough of me to last you a lifetime, but as you said yourself, there are things that need to be said and it will probably be less awkward to do so by Owl.
I want to start off by saying that I don't want you to feel like you have to be part of this. It was my decision to keep this baby and you won't be pressured in any way, either financially or emotionally. I don't want anything from you, either now or in the future.
I am not naïve enough to even think you would want us to have any kind of friendship. But that said, you have saved my life (twice), I saved yours (only once, but with our run of bad luck, just give me time) – that has to go some way towards making us if not friends, people who tolerate each other? Or maybe just people who have very bad luck.
You know, since that night you saved me at my house, I have had a long chain of extraordinarily bad luck. I am inclined to blame you, in the absence of anyone else to blame. May curse you with something nasty when all this is over. I might resort to locking you and Neville in a room together for a couple of months if anything else untoward happens.
As well as assuring you that I do not want anything of you, I wanted to ask your advice on the Draco Malfoy situation. I have not made any headway and really am at a loss. I was also wondering if you knew of any sort of protection charm that I could use to keep the baby safe, in case of attack? I was going to ask Albus when I saw him next, but he hadn't been around lately either, although I'm sure you both have very good reasons (does the sarcasm come over in text?).
I will be back in class on Monday, so I will expect a friendly sneer or two then. Until then sir, stay safe. And please don't answer any summons from a certain someone. I wouldn't want to end up in another coma – I might end up missing my next birthday too and I still haven't gotten over missing the last one.
H.G.
She didn't want anything from him? Well, wasn't that incredibly Gryffindor of her? She had more or less said that all this was none of his business!
Severus glowered at the piece of parchment in his hand; again devoid of writing now his fingers were no longer tracing the lines. He had been avoiding her, purely because his head seemed to ache whenever he thought about her. Everything was complicated and unsure and he had needed time to sort his thoughts out.
Except she'd managed to find a way to get him before he had managed this and somehow had managed to infuriate him too. He blamed Harry – it was his bloody owl that had brought him the letter after all.
He sighed. Maybe Owl Post was the best way to sort this out. At least he could feel a little distanced from the situation that way. He stalked back to his office, taking thirty points from Gryffindor on the way, which cheered him up greatly.
He sat down at his desk and nibbled on the edge of his quill, a habit that he was very careful no one ever found out about.
Miss Granger,
Communicating by Owl is agreeably better than doing so in person, as you seemed rather emotional the last time we spoke. A Gryffindor trait, as I am sure you are aware.
As pleased as I am by your assurances that you can do this alone, have you thought of how you are going to achieve this? You cannot support yourself and this child on your own. You also cannot register to claim benefits, as that would be practically giving the Dark Lord your address. And yes, before you ask, he is very aware of your connection to Potter, even if he has no idea of your connection to myself.
I strongly urge you to think about accepting my offer of help. If I didn't make the offer before, then I am making it now. I will help you and your child in any way possible.
As… interesting as it would be to be locked somewhere with the charming Neville Longbottom, I feel compelled to suggest that you torture a certain platinum blonde prat in my stead. I am very sure that he is entirely more to blame and he deserves even more torment than that of being trapped with Longbottom; if there is in fact a greater punishment.
I am taking care of the Malfoy situation this evening. You need to have little stress at the moment and you are worrying far too much. Have you been taught any relaxation techniques?
I will do some research and will get back to you on the protection charm. In the meantime, stop taking whatever rubbish Poppy is giving you and take three drops of this potion daily instead.
I have not been summoned as of yet and you will also not be that foolhardy again. As appreciative as I am of your idiotic sacrifice, I want your promise that it will never happen again. Do I make myself clear?
S.S
P.S. Ingenious charm on the letter. Five points to Gryffindor.
He tied the parchment to Hedwig's leg, admiring the patience of the bird as she'd sat quietly and waited until he finished. Then he leant his head in his hands and groaned. Life would have been much more simple if he'd have just buggered off to Brazil or something years ago, instead of trying to pay for his sins.
Merlin, I'm going to go into credit if this keeps up, he thought, shaking his head and hitting his head gently against his hard, wooden desk. Could probably murder and torture millions and still be in the black, payment-wise. Bloody Hermione Granger!
He forced his body to relax slowly as he began deciding exactly how far to go with Draco Malfoy during their little meeting that evening. Was it worth putting his life on the line? Would it even matter now Voldemort was already just a bit annoyed with him anyway?
Fuck it, he thought grimly. He deserves whatever he gets. Sod the consequences.
