Harry and Albus found Hermione sobbing on the dungeon floor about ten minutes later. She had pulled her knees up to her chest and was rocking back and forth. Tears had made a wet, dark patch on the jeans she was wearing under her cloak and her entire body was shaking.
Harry stopped dead in his tracks and stared at Hermione with his mouth open. He'd never seen her this hysterical before, ever. And she'd faced Voldemort with him less than a year ago.
Albus looked at Hermione for a second, before nodding his head in understanding. He pushed Harry through the door towards Hermione, making the boy stumble over his own feet. Then Albus disappeared quickly in the other direction.
Harry got to his knees beside Hermione and awkwardly put his arms around her.
"What happened, Hermione?" he asked, gently.
Hermione shook her head, not lifting it to look at Harry.
"The floor's cold," he pointed out, stroking her tear soaked hair back from her face. "And being this upset is probably not good for the baby."
Hermione sobbed harder and Harry cringed, feeling helpless.
"Is that what this is about? The baby?" he asked. "Is it okay?"
"How do you know that I didn't just get my period, and that's why I don't need the potion?" Hermione asked, lifting her blotchy, tear-stained face to look at Harry.
"My amazing Harry Potter intuition," Harry said, reaching to take her hand to help her to her feet. "Or it could have been that pregnancy book sticking out from under your covers the last time I visited you. But I think it was far more down to the intuition."
Hermione managed a watery smile and let Harry pull her to her feet. She swayed a little and let Harry put his arm around her to support her.
"I think I need to lie down," Hermione said, sniffing.
"A tissue would also be really, really helpful," Harry observed, wrinkling his nose at the state of her face.
"Can always count on you to be really sympathetic," she muttered, reaching into her pocket and finding a half mangled tissue there.
"Or maybe a box of tissues…" Harry suggested, leading her out of the Potions classroom.
Suddenly he stopped, making Hermione stumble and cling to him more tightly.
"What?" she asked, trying to dry her tears while not thinking about how long the tissue had been in that pocket, or what she had used it for last.
"Where's Snape? Isn't there meant to be a class in there right now?" Harry's face was screwed up in confusion, then it seemed to clear.
Hermione swallowed, trying to hold back the fresh batch of tears that were already threatening.
"He… had to leave," Hermione sniffed, letting go of Harry and starting to on her own. "Are you coming?"
"Hermione," Harry said slowly, his brow still furrowed. "Did you… you and…"
Hermione spun round, her complete misery suddenly turning into temper.
"What, Harry? Did I what?" she snapped, glaring at her perplexed friend, who had started to blush in embarrassment at his own thoughts.
"Did you and Snape have some sort of row?" he asked, looking at Hermione warily, as if she were about to throw things at him for daring to ask a question.
"In a way," Hermione said, sighing. "Can we just get back to the tower? I'm exhausted and want a lie down for a while before tea."
"Where has Snape gone, Hermione?" Harry asked, his voice suddenly hard. He was fed up of Hermione not trusting him and he hated not knowing things. Not knowing things usually lead to incredibly stupid misunderstandings, which at best led to time being wasted, and at worst led to people ending up dead. Admittedly all that would probably come of Hermione keeping things from him in this instance would be that Hermione would go crazy with no one to talk to, but that was bad enough in itself.
"He's been summoned, Harry," Hermione said, turning away from Harry and starting to walk back to Gryffindor tower on her own.
Sod Harry. If he wants to stand in the bloody freezing dungeons all day, being all suspicious, she thought, her mind's voice huffy, then he can bloody well do it on his own.
"So why the crying?" he asked, running to catch up with her and slowing to a walk. "Even if you've somehow developed some newfound affection for our greasy potions master, he gets Summoned all the time, and he comes back every time."
"Last time he was Summoned, he nearly died," Hermione whispered, moving her head close to Harry's as they hit the hallway as the bell rang for the next class. She supposed Harry was missing his next class, what with coming to find her, but she was also quite sure that Albus would have thought to cover for them.
"He's a grown man, Hermione," Harry muttered just as quietly as Colin Creevy passed Harry and gave him a cheerful grin. "He knows the dangers."
"Yes, but this time he left, completely sure he would die," Hermione said, gritting her teeth in an effort not to cry again. "He left goodbye letters."
Well, sort of, she amended in her head with a stab of annoyance mixed with misery. The letter he had left had hardly been personal, had it? More like 'here you go, have my money. Bye.'
"He left one… for you?" Harry asked, before mumbling the password at the Fat Lady and giving Hermione his hand to help her over the small step.
"Look, Harry, I just want to lie down," Hermione said, stopping him at the bottom of the stairs that lead to her room. "Why does any of this matter to you?"
"You're my friend," he said simply.
Hermione stared at Harry for a long moment, then took his hand and led him up the stairs into her room. Once the door was shut, she threw herself down on her bed and turned onto her side. Harry climbed onto the bed next to her and leant against the pillows and folded his arms. Then he waited.
Hermione took a deep breath, then closed her mouth again. Where on earth was she supposed to start? After a moment, Harry turned to look at Hermione, an understanding look on his face.
"You don't have to tell me, Hermione," Harry said, gently. "I just wanted you to realise that you did have someone there who you could trust."
"I know that Harry," Hermione said, lifting her head to look at him. "I just don't know where to start."
"When did you get pregnant?" Harry asked. "I mean, whenever you saw Ron, either me, or one of his family were around. I don't know how you managed it. And Ron said that you hadn't slept together yet, the lying git."
"Harry! You're not meant to talk about things like that!" Hermione reprimanded, her voice too tired to sound really cross. "If Ron was talking to me, I'd kill him for that."
Harry gave Hermione a sheepish look.
"I got pregnant around the time Crookshanks was killed," Hermione said, still feeling a stab of pain when she thought about that.
"That's impossible though," Harry said, stubbornly. "Ron was complaining at the time that he didn't even get to kiss you, cos you were always with Ginny."
"Harry," Hermione said quietly, lifting herself up on her elbow to look Him in the eyes. "The baby isn't Ron's."
Harry looked at Hermione for a few seconds, his mouth gaping open. Hermione sank back down on the bed and rested her head on her pillow, waiting for the explosion she knew would come.
And it'll be an even bigger explosion when I tell him who the father of my baby really is…Hermione thought, with trepidation.
"You… cheated on Ron?" Harry asked, sounding amazed. "Why… why would you do that?"
Hermione cringed.
"It just sort of… happened," she explained. "I was comforting him and then it turned into something else. It wasn't planned."
"Comforting who?" Harry asked, his voice faint.
"Harry, you must promise to stay here and hear me out," Hermione said, firmly. "I don't want you storming off, or going and shouting at people."
"Oh God," Harry said, realization dawning.
"Cos he's not here to shout at any more," Hermione finished, quietly.
"Snape?" Harry asked, his voice incredulous. "Greasy, nasty, miserable Severus Snape?"
Hermione cringed and didn't speak.
"Why? How?" Harry closed his eyes and felt suddenly dizzy with confusion. "You had sex with Snape!"
"You know he saved me, from… the Death Eaters?" Hermione said, wondering if she should tell him about Draco too. "Well he was… I mean."
She sighed.
"Look Harry, I love him," she said firmly, sitting up. "And he's going to die, so stop being so nasty about him. He's giving his life for the rest of us and he has been doing for years. And no one is bloody grateful. Not one person, other than Dumbledore."
"So it was gratitude?" he asked, then mumbled under his breath, "I hope Dumbledore is never that bloody grateful…"
"No Harry," Hermione said, her voice getting angry. "I know you and a lot of other people see him as this needlessly nasty man, but don't any of you ever think of why he's like that?"
"Because he's a git," Harry muttered under his breath.
"No," she said, glowering at her friend. "I thought you said you were going to be my friend and listen?"
Harry had the grace to look slightly sheepish and gestured for Hermione to continue.
"He's being watched, all the time," Hermione said. "People like Draco and other Death Eaters sons report back on him, watching for any sign that he might not be completely on their side. Professor Snape has to put on an act constantly, because if his cover slips even slightly, then he's screwed, Harry. He's dead."
"Except," Hermione said, her voice faltering. "He is dead now. I'm not sure what happened, but they either found him out, or decided he wasn't useful enough, and they tried to kill him. And now he's gone back so they can finish the job."
"Doesn't he know about… you know?"
"The baby, Harry. Just because it's Professor Snape's, doesn't mean you can't use the word any more," Hermione sighed. "Yes, he knows."
"How could he leave like that, when…?"
"I know," Hermione interrupted, her voice small. "I don't know how he could leave either."
Hermione recalled how she'd almost begged him to stay and felt tears welling up in her eyes again. How could he care about her and their baby so little? How could he not want to see his child, even if he didn't want to be with her?
She'd begged and he hadn't cared…
"God, Hermione. What are you going to do?" Harry asked, shuffling closer and putting his arm around her as she sniffed, trying not to get hysterical again.
"I don't know, Harry," she said, sniffing more and letting him hold her as she cried. "I feel so alone."
"It's alright, Hermione," Harry whispered, holding her close while his brain tried to cover all the possible options Hermione had. "I'll always be here for you."
Except he wouldn't be, if Voldemort had his way, Harry realized. Voldemort was going to take everyone away who could be this child's family, just like he had taken all of Harry's family away, albeit indirectly with Sirius.
"I'll never let anyone hurt you," Harry said, still holding Hermione. "I'll make sure both you and the baby will be loved and looked after. You're not alone Hermione."
Neither person noticed Severus standing in the doorway, his eyes fixed on the couple on the bed. He stood in the doorway for a moment, then waved his hand, making the wall in Hermione's sitting room shimmer and disappear, so he could step through it, back into his quarters.
Severus didn't jump when he felt a hand upon his shoulder, he just turned around with a resigned sigh.
"Yes, Lucius?" Severus said, his shoulders slumped in defeat. "What do you want?"
"You, Severus," Lucius said, a grim look on his face.
Severus nodded and let Lucius take his arm and lead him away from the dungeons and out onto the grounds. He took one last look at Gryffindor tower and then tried to block out the misery that threatened to overcome him.
"Ready Severus?" Lucius said, as they reached the edge of the grounds.
Severus nodded and let Lucius Apparate him away from Hogwarts. He shouldn't have come back anyway. Foolish hope had led him to Hermione's bedroom and now he didn't have that, he didn't really care what happened now.
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Don't kill me… keep reading.
Tainted Elf: Would be honoured to, but definitely can't if you smother me in my sleep… ;o)
Lover Not a Fighter: I refuse to read things unless they have at least moderately happy endings. Don't worry.
Faerluthio: Thank you :o) You're lovely :o)
And to everyone else, thank you :o) I think I have a review addiction. Must… have… more… drool
refreshes the review page repeatedly
Yes… going now. x
