Chapter 19. Asking For Forgiveness
Nathan wondered what was going to happen if he opened up that bedroom door. Maybe she was already asleep, or maybe she was wide awake, waiting on him with nothing on but her underwear.
Ok, so what that he hoped the last thing was going to happen. Sure, he couldn't touch, but look wasn't too bad. Even one little goodnight kiss was okay right?
In his dreams their kisses were hot and passionate, not all about lust but just purely about being in love with each other. Not that he was in love with Brooke Davis, he just… wanted her. He liked the idea of being with her.
He shook his head, laughing at himself. He was being ridiculous and that was all Brooke's fault. And maybe the alcohol.
As he opened the door, peeking his head just around the corner, he saw an empty room. Frowning, he opened the door wider and walked in.
"Brooke?" When he heard nothing but the wind he asked again, slightly unsure "Brooke? Are you here?" He could have sworn he heard something behind him, but when he turned around he saw nothing.
All of a sudden he felt two hands on his waist as a familiar voice called out from behind, "Took you long enough."
He turned around once again and gasped as he saw Brooke standing in front of him with her hands now on her hips, with an evil smirk on her face.
She was in her underwear, just like he imagined. A black, lace bra with a matching thong.
"I-I don't think this is a good idea." He said stammering but his eyes never left her body.
Brooke just smirked and shrugged her shoulders. "I think it is."
"Why don't you just put on some clothes so I can take you home." He knew that was the right thing to do. He didn't want to take advantage of her. She was hurt because that dude broke up with her and her friendship with Haley was ruined. All thanks to his bitch of a girlfriend.
"How chivalrous of you" she remarked. Before he had a chance to reply Brooke took him by the back of the neck and pulled him into a kiss. He seemed too stunned to reply but he didn't push her away either. In fact if she wasn't mistaken he seemed to be kissing her back.
They made their way to the bed without breaking the steamy kiss and when Nathan's legs hit the bed they fell on it with a loud thud. Brooke loved to be on top, it made her feel like she was the one in charge and that made her feel powerful.
She placed her hands on the hem of his shirt, trying to take it off as fast as possible. Their lips left each other for a few seconds as Nathan brought his shirt over his head. Just as their lips brushed against each other again Brooke pulled away and instead, planted soft kisses on his neck. Hearing him moan convinced her to go on.
Then she stopped abruptly and looked away as if embarrassed. "I can't do this." He heard her sigh.
He nodded his head in understanding. "You're right. We can't do this to Peyton."
Hearing her ex-bestfriend's name made her eyes turn dark. "I don't give a damn about her, this just isn't fair to Lucas."
Hearing his name made Nathan frown in disgust. "You don't actually care about that, pussy, do you?"
Brooke slapped his arm as she hissed, "He's not a pussy."
"I take that as a yes."
She thought about it for a while as she abruptly stood up and began searching for her clothes. Putting them on with her back towards him, she said "Yes, I do care about him. In fact, I've never felt like this around anyone. He's really nice, not cocky or arrogant, he's smart and handsome. If I hadn't screwed up royally we would still be together. How stupid am I?"
He had listened to her, his heart breaking with every word. She really liked that guy, and he knew how it was to feel something for someone when you couldn't really be with that person. Brooke belonged to that Lucas guy, as did her heart.
And he realized that his heart belonged to Brooke, which meant that he had to get over her. Her feelings weren't mutual, and he understood that now.
"Go."
"What?" Brooke asked confused.
"Go see him, talk to him. I'm sure if you tell him how you really feel, he'll forgive you."
The brunette was still slightly confused. "But I thought you-"
He shook his head and looked down, taking a deep breath. As he looked up he looked straight in her eyes and said in his most convincing voice, "It doesn't matter how I feel about you, you are obviously in love with this guy and I can never compare to him. And he cares about you too; otherwise he wouldn't be so hurt."
Brooke said nothing as she stared to him with an intense gaze. His words meant something to her. Since when was Nathan Scott that sweet?
"I'll take you to his house."
As Nathan came to a stop he turned off the car and faced Brooke. "Look, I'm sorry for everything I did to you, you know… Kissing you while I knew you had a boyfriend."
She smiled sweetly as she ran a hand softly on his cheek. "It's ok Nathan, I forgive you. I haven't exactly been an angel myself." They both chuckled quietly as they thought about the evil things she had done the past few years.
"Good luck with everything Brooke."
She leaned in and placed a sweet kiss on his lips. "Thanks." Brooke said as she stared deeply into his eyes. "There are millions of pretty girls out there, I'm sure there's a girl walking around somewhere, who's perfect for you."
They shared a smile and she stepped out of the car and watched as he sped off.
Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes for a second and opened them again as she mumbled some comforting words to herself.
"You can do this Brooke, this is the guy for you."
She waited for two minutes before she had the guts to actually knock on the door. Waiting as she bit her lip, Brooke tugged her shirt uncomfortable. Why was she so damn nervous?
The door opened and there he was. She expected his cold tone, "What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to talk to you. Can I- can I come in?
"Why would I let you in after everything you did?"
Brooke sighed as she looked down, shifting her feet, feeling the big lump starting to form down her throat. "I just wanted to say how sorry I am for what I did." She said still not daring to look him in the eye.
Lucas sneered as he watched her stammering. "Look at you, the queen bitch, Brooke Davis, can't even look me straight in the eye while she's speaking." He spat.
His words hurt her deeply as she swallowed hard before looking up; she finally met his eyes. "You know what's weird? When I didn't know you I was a completely different person. I remember when I thought once, sometimes it feels like life has no meaning. People asked me if I never got sick of all the partying and drinking and the answer is yes, I get tired of my life, Lucas. I wanted to stop but my life had always been that way, I couldn't just stop like that. If I did that I would've lost everything.
But then I met you, and when we started dating I just wanted to change. I had to, I wanted to be a different person. I knew it was going to be hard, but if I tried my best, everything would be alright in the end. I guess what I'm trying to say is… I'm nothing without you, you made me want to change. And I-I love you for that."
"Brooke-"
"And I want to be with you Lucas, so bad." Tears started to form in her eyes and she didn't know if it was because of her confession or because of all the emotions boiling inside of her.
Lucas stared at the insecure girl in front of him and he wanted to forgive her, but something inside of him said the opposite. As he watched her again, he wiped her tears away with his thumbs and said softly, "I think you need to pay someone else a visit first. You know, the gold-haired girl with the hazel eyes, goes by the name Haley "Tutor Girl" James?"
Brooke chuckled through her tears and leaned in to give him a soft kiss on the lips. "I'll be back, if that's ok with you?"
When he nodded Brooke knew that was her cue to leave.
As Brooke walked into Haley's bedroom, she saw the girl sitting on her bed solemnly staring to the wall in front of her. When she saw Brooke, she jumped off the bed and stared at her with pain in her eyes, "Who let you in?"
"Uh, some girl named Taylor." Brooke said as she pointed vaguely at the door behind her. "Who is she anyway?"
"You don't have to pretend." Haley whispered in barely more than a whisper but Brooke had heard the girl.
"Pretend what?"
"That nothing happened. That you care."
Brooke's heart sunk as she saw that Haley was in so much pain. It was never the plan to hurt her so much, well, not her plan anyway. The brunette walked towards the bed and flopped on it. She patted on the spot next to her, with a slight smile on her face.
Haley hesitated for a while as she bit her lip and sat down next to Brooke. "Haley, I do care about you. If you believe it or not, I really do."
"But what about the wager?" There was clearly bitterness in her voice.
"I made that wager because I was stupid back then, but once I knew you, and Lucas, I started to feel sorry for the both of you. I really liked you, you know… You're sweet and concerned and a great friend. I'm so sorry for what I did to you, you never deserved any of it. And-" Brooke's voice cracked as she took al her power to continue "-And I understand if you don't want to be friends anymore, because I've been a complete bitch to you and I don't deserve you as a friend."
When Haley remained silent Brooke nodded to herself and hopped off the bed, leaving the room. As her hand grabbed the doorknob, Brooke heard a soft 'wait'.
She turned around and saw Haley standing up from the bed as well. "I know you are sorry and… It's okay."
"No it's not." Brooke waved her hand away as she shook her head. "It's too much to forgive, this is the second time I've asked for forgiveness and I can't ask you this again. It was stupid to come here, I'll just go."
"I want to be your friend too Brooke, but I don't know if I can deal with it again if you hurt me like that. And I-I don't know if I can trust you." Haley whispered the last part as she looked down.
Brooke placed a hand on Haley's arm, "I know and I understand that completely. We just take things… Slow ok?"
Haley chuckled. "Now you sound like we're dating or something."
She started laughing and soon Brooke joined. Together they laughed and fell on the bed at the same time.
It felt good to have her friend back.
A:N/ thank you all so much for the reviews, I loved every one of them (to 'hello pretty': it means a lot to me that you said sorry, I'm glad you are aware that you had no right to say such things. You can leave a critical review if you want if you think that'll help me to improve the story). Anyway, there's one chapter left and then this story is finished! Can you believe that? Please review and let me know what you guys think :)
Love,
Helen
