Searchlights in a Silver Sky
Rated: T
Catagory: Teen Titans
Genre: Humor/Romance
Full Summary: Robin would have given anything- Anything- to see Raven again. But will his obbsessive search, carefully founded on lies, find the girl he longs for, or only what he thought was there? (Rae/Rob)
A/N: Yes, another Raven/Robin story. I'm having writer's block on everything else- Sorry. Anyway, here goes another tale from Raventhedarkgoddess (evil laughter, quick cough)... Read and Review!
Chapter One: Silver Clouds, Silver Tears
Robin looked out over the sky high above him from where he stood on the roof of Titan's Tower. The clouds above him were silver with the burning rays of the sun's first light as it lit up the sky over the still-sleeping Jump City, the wind blowing with a small sigh as it rushed past him. He felt it brush his face but ignored it, instead staring out over the water as if looking for the promise every new day was supposed to bring.
He could hear the water rolling into the visable waves, the sun burning back into his eyes. He tried to tell himself that only the glare of the sun was causing the invisible rise of teardrops behind his mask, but deep in his heart he knew that to be far from true. Still, he wished he could force the thought for a little longer.
The sun fell upon his face more violently now and Robin lowered his head out of it's way, wanting no part in the beauty that was the rising sun. He almost wished she would come upstairs onto the roof, making her way around the puddles from the previous night's rain, to bury her head in his shoulder as she spoke to him of ordinary things and made him feel loved and cared for again. But she won't, he reminded himself.
She's gone.
The wind whistled a mournful tune that was all it's own. Looking over the violent waves, Robin tried to keep the tears from falling, but it worsened until his breath was coming in short gasps and the tears were coming quickly, something that happened every day although he tried to prevent it. The words started to repeat in his head, over and over, until they became more of a chant. She's gone, She's gone, she's...
Raven's gone. The words died, as did the tears, with that realization, but the pain stayed with him, safely under lock and key again. No one can even know I miss her...
I'm not supposed to miss her.
Left hand clenching slowly into a fist, Robin lowered himself into what should have been a heroic crouching pose- But instead he looked tired, worn, and defeated, and rested the hand against the side of his skull. The wind snatched at his cape, whipping it up so that it rested over instead of behind his shoulders, but it mattered not, and he let it lie there while a single black strand moved into place over his eye.
I wonder where she is, what she's doing now... The violet eyes that haunted his dreams danced into his head, along with the perfect way her lilac hair fell around her face, the cloak around her in the early morning wind... "Raven..."
Do we even see the sunrise at the same time, or is she laying in bed somewhere, alone and defenseless... Does she even want to look at the sunrise? Or does she not want to be reminded of me? Does she want to run away from everything we meant to each other?
The worst thought of all crossed his mind. Did we even mean anything to her at all? Did I...?
One more tear escaped his eye, this one uncontained, sliding down his face, slowly making it's way along the prominate face toward the ground, where it fell to lay in one of the shimmering puddles of rainwater. "Raven, where are you?"
The sun had risen higher and higher now, to reside in the sky far above him, resting over the city as people began their waking lives, both civilan and criminal. Robin sighed- Jump City may have had it's work cut out of it, but he wanted nothing more than to go back inside and crawl into his bed, a place where only his dreams could haunt him. Instead, however, he turned his back on the city and prepared to face the most painful place of all- The Tower. Even though it had been two years since her disapperence, since the fight, Robin couldn't make itleave him, leave his head or unscar his heart.
"Please be safe, whereever you are." With that, he sighed and looked out over the deadpan world, at the city he was still bound to protect, and wondered if there was any chance
"Another day, another sunrise," he whispered, turning away and heading for the door that would lead him back into the home below, although at times it felt too hollow and empty to be called a home. He straightened his cape around his shoulders as he felt the sun and wind leave his face. The darknened hallway wasnot shimmering as theouter hallway was, containing less memories, and therefore a welcome sight.
Slowly but surely he made his way down the steps, ending up in the kitchen as he so often did, trying to find the words to say, or at least a way to keep his voice from breaking. "Hey Cy," he forced out finally to his half-metal friend, who stood alone in the kitchen with his back to Robin, flipping pancakes and bacon for the breakfast of the four Titans and pulling a face at Beast Boy's tofu bacon.
"Hey Robin," his friend said, then fell back to cooking after observing him- The wind-swept hair, the single tear-track, and the mishap way his cloak was thrown over his shoulders. "Bad night?"
Robin simply nodded, taking a plate of food from Cyborg as the two settled down at the table to eat. For whatever reason, they had left the fifth seat in the kitchen, and both Robin and Cyborg looked at it with a sense of longing- Robin felt a pang of guilt and jealousy, for Cyborg had been the one going out with Raven before...
Before I drove her away. The thought came to him quickly, quietly, and unbidden, but came none the less. Robin was about to say something whenboth Starfire and Beast Boy staggered into the kitchen to eat with them. The chatter soon fell around him, but Robin ignored it, feeling quite alone among the feelings of good tidings and happiness. Even though they do have a right to be happy...
Before he really knew what he was doing, he had finished his breakfast, his mind lost in heavy thoughts and regreats. The plate slammed in the sink and the sliding doors made a simple thud as he left. "Did we do something wrong, friend Cyborg?" Starfire asked quietly.
"No," Cyborg replied. "No, Star, but I do think Robin's missing someone." No one could reply to that, but it was apparent that everyone knew what he met by the mechanical silence that always came when she was mentioned. Raven...
Robin was screaming at her again. "Look at you! You let Slade get away! Don't you care about catching him, about this team!" Raven was soaked in her own filthy blood and a large amount of mud, but Robin ignored that, ignored the bleeding slashes across her stomach as he screamed at her like a coach might scream at a player who had failed to win a game.
"I didn't mean to... Robin, you saw him pull that knife..." She felt Cyborg's arms around her, wrapping her waist, stopping the blood flow as best he could. "Come on, you know I didn't mean for him to..."
"Look at you! Covered in demon blood and telling me what you can and can't do! You should use those powers we saved together in order to..." He stopped- He had said far, far too much, and her face reflected that.
"You damn..."
The gothic poet pulled her hood up a bit higher on her head to force out the memory, the black cloak she wore swinging around her skirt-covered legs as the wind caught it in the early morning, the rain coming down toward her face. "Another beautiful day," she muttered quietly, looking up into the gray clouds silvering with the heavy light that came toward her slowly, a sun she was unable to see.
Amazing how I can be here, sucessful and supposably happy, and yet I think back on it so much and... She looked back up at the sky, twirling her umbrella up on her head as she walked through the park among the common people, happy for the quiet of the morning rather than the fame surrounding her as a poet.
Had to make a living somehow. Her gory poem about death had not been meant to be anything, but quickly she had forced herself under a pen name for fear of her friends finding her as the publication process began. I almost wish I'd let them find me... Then I could have at least tried to tell them goodbye this time...
She looked around in the silence the shelter of an oak where she often sat with her open notebook, writing, and gazed off into the distance without emotion on her face. She avoided being taken by the memory again- That was the last thing she wanted now, or ever. I just want to forget...
But I can't. "Where are you now?" She asked the face she remembered in her mind, the face of a black-haired teen as she remembered it, sweet and kind until it's last screaming moment. "Are you safe? And do you remember..."
"Do you remember me? Do you miss me at all?" She turned her face toward the sky and lowered the umbrella, feeling the drops come down into her violet eyes before she turned away and headed back up the narrow sideway she had just come down, long before the bustle of the small city not twenty miles from her former life had begun.
But for as searchlights fall from the silver sky,
I walk these empty streets alone.
As the days go on around me,
I feel the cars as on they drone.
I look to the drops of dew for a new day to come.
But the sky doesn't yeild to the dreamer of hope.
So I wonder about the days I could have spent,
if I would just untie my heart from the rope.
Lines from one of my poems, she thought bitterly. But if only someone could see how true they are to me... If only someone would find me.
With that, she strolled into her apartment and settled down- Today was going to be one of those days, she could already tell- Both in the weather and in her heart.
