Sitting at the table, Jack in his Bart Simpson boxers and Sam in his t-shirt, they smiled at each other over tall glasses of ice-cold milk and a pie that they were both attacking with their forks – no plates necessary.
"I love pie," said Jack with a big grin.
"Me to Sir," said Sam.
"Uh, Sam" said Jack, stretching his back trying to regain some of its elasticity. "I don't think after what just happened in that bedroom," Sam just smiled coyly at him, "the living room, and the kitchen. Well, I really think we should be on a first name basis."
Sam laughed as she reached for another fork full of pie "sorry, force of habit."
"So," Jack added "I guess I should bring my checkbook to the auction next month."
O O O O
Jack and Sam had kept it pretty quiet for about a week. They waited to tell Daniel and Teal'c until the weekend team night.
Not surprisingly, they were not at all shocked to learn the results of Sam's new found celebrity. Jack started relaying the story about how he got real jealous and how he was now cashing in part of his 401k to guarantee his outbidding every other man at the auction.
"They can look, but they just can't touch. I don't plan on giving a single one of them the opportunity," huffed Jack. "She's going to be wearing her "Miss July" outfit. I'll have to beat them off with a stick."
"Or Zat gun" piped in Daniel.
"Here, here," said Jack as he clinked his beer bottle with Daniels.
The team enjoyed their pizza and beers. Jack noticed that at one point in the evening Daniel had suddenly become lost in thought.
"Hey, Danny boy, what's got you so quiet," said Jack.
"Nothing," said Daniel "just thinking of the amount of havoc one little picture can cause."
Why didn't I think of this before, he thought, Sam is going to love it.
O O O O
The following Monday, Sam entered her lab as happy as any woman could be. Jack had been continuously apologizing for his jealousy episode and promised to make it up to her. Sam's little genius mind had already come up with at least 20 ways to take advantage of his offer.
As she entered her lab, she switched on the lights and headed to her laptop to check her email. When she reached her desk she noticed her laptop was slightly open. She carefully lifted it up to find a note from Daniel, she recognized the handwriting immediately.
The note read:
Sam,
All is fair in love and war right? Well get ready to have some fun. I was soo tempted to post this up all over the base. Why not? Everyone has seen yours, why not this one? Oh, and you now owe me BIG TIME!
Love, Daniel
P.S.In "General" isn't September your favorite month of the year?
Under the note was a calendar Sam lifted off the note and read the title "Men in Uniform 1980." Sam thought to herself, if this has what I think it has, I am so going to be loving life.
She just couldn't help it. She had to take her time. She looked at each of the months, enjoying each one as she turned the page. Then she came to August. She held her breath and turned the page.
There he was. Mr. September, Captain Jonathan O'Neill, USAF, Demolition Expert, Washington D.C.
Jack was shirtless wearing a pair of very faded Levis with just a hint of his briefs showing where his thumb was hitched at his waistband. He was leaning against a pitchfork that was stuck into a bail of hay. His body was glistening in the sun. His well tanned, well defined, very hard…. well Sam had to fan herself a bit.
She really loved Jack's body. It was like a roadmap that had thousands of great stories to tell. Even at 50 it was still very well defined and muscular. This photo was of a Jack who was 25 years younger. He was a bit more built up in the photo, but she still recognized every inch.
This was priceless. How could he have possibly gotten upset with her photo when he had done it himself 25 years ago? At least she wasn't topless in hers.
She continued to look at the calendar photo until her phone rang, it was Daniel.
"Do you like my little surprise?" he asked her.
"Daniel, I truly owe you one," laughed Sam as she held the calendar up in front of her. "Where did you get this? Anything you want, just name it and it's yours."
"I expect your first born child to be named after me," he said.
"Let's not put the cart before the horse Daniel," said Sam. "How did you know about this? No, don't tell me, archeological research right."
"You could say that." said Daniel "Just promise you won't tell him it came from me until after he has cooled down for at least a year. I value my life."
"Sure thing," said Sam.
Sam thought long and hard about what to do with her new ammunition. She knew she couldn't make it too public. He was a General after all. She didn't want to do anything that would jeopardize his authority on base, just get a good laugh with their circle of friends and family.
O O O O
Sam sat on her contraband for about a week. She was going to be hosting the annual SG1 Indoor/Outdoor BBQ. Each year one of them had a BBQ in January. Sam loved watching the guys run in and out of the house to the grill to fetch the food. Laughing each time she watched them come back inside rubbing their shoulders and blowing breath into their hands to try to keep warm.
She had something a little different planned this year. Daniel and Cassie arrived early to help her set up. She actually had to send Jack out on an errand to get him out of her house for a few hours.
When he returned he received quite a shock. The first was a sign taped to the front door that read "SG1 welcomes "Mr. September" to their annual Indoor/Outdoor BBQ."
He tore down the sign and opened the door to find his "Mr. September" photo taped all over the house. Looking around the room he saw his so-called friends all wearing t-shirts with the photo silk screened across the front. As if on queue they all turned around to reveal the backs which read "Pin-Up Boys make the best Generals." All except Sam's which read "I got lucky with Mr. September."
"You have got to be kidding me!" yelled Jack as he went over and pulled one of the photos from the wall. Daniel threw him a t-shirt which read on the back "Kiss me, I'm Mr. September."
Jack looked back at him and said "How do I know that you are mostly responsible for this?"
"Actually, it was me," said Sam as she walked over to him. She then whispered into his ear and said "Can I be the first to kiss Mr. September?"
"I owe you big don't I?" said Jack as he put his arms around her and rested his forehead against hers.
"Oh, I don't know, I was thinking a full two week vacation, just the two of us, maybe Tahiti or Bora Bora, your treat of course."
"I hope you have enough stashed away in your retirement to support the both of us. I am very quickly burning through mine" he said with a smile.
"You won't mind being a kept man?" asked Sam.
"Uh, sorry to break up your private party," complained Daniel "but some of us are about to die of starvation."
"Okay, okay" groaned Jack, annoyed because he was just about to swoop down and kiss Sam, "do you ever NOT think with your stomach?"
Jack leaned over and pecked Sam on the cheek. "Let's get the food rolling before Danny boy faints from hunger."
EPILOGUE:
Lizzie O'Neill was frantically looking through her mother's desk. She was in desperate need of a blank CD to burn her report to and hand into class that day.
"MOM!" she yelled in typical teenage fashion "where did you say those blank CD's were?"
Sam was busy putting laundry away in Jacob's room down the hall and was currently searching for a mysterious smell she had just come across. "If I have to tell this boy one more time not to keep food in his room" she muttered under her breath.
Life is strange, one day you are saving the world from the Replicators the next you are trying to locate a moldy sandwich in your son's room. "The Replicators were easier to deal with," she thought to herself.
Suddenly she heard Lizzie yelling for her from her office. "I'm going to change my name you know!" she yelled back.
It had been a particularly trying morning already. Two teenagers were not much fun when you are trying to get them out the door for school. Jack was in Washington on business so she was on her own.
Normally they had a system down tight. One made breakfast, while the other ran around with the kids locating missing school books and homework. It never failed, even though each of them was supposed to have everything ready the night before, something always went missing.
"Mom, I'm not kidding, you don't want me to fail chemistry do you!" came the desperate reply.
"I told you at breakfast, the CD's are in my top drawer on the right" she yelled back.
Lizzie was in AP courses and had a boat load of school work each night. Not that she couldn't handle it, she was brilliant. She even insisted on skipping a grade even though Sam urged her to stay with her peer group.
Sam had memories of being the young wiz kid, some of them not so great. But Lizzie was as stubborn as her father and even though she could handle the work, she did inherit her father's procrastination gene.
"What is this?" asked Lizzie as she entered her brother's room. "This place stinks" she said as she held her nose with one hand and an old calendar in the other.
Sam was now on her hands and knees looking under the bed. "JACOB DANIEL TEAL'C O'NEILL!" she yelled "GET UP HERE THIS INSTANT!"
"WHAT!" she yelled to Lizzie who was now standing over her. "Oh sorry honey, what did you ask, and did you find the CD?"
"Yes I found the CD, thanks. What is this? Please tell me there are two Jack O'Neill's in the Air Force." She asked her mother with a slight look of shock on her face.
"Nope, that is the same Jack O'Neill we all know and love" said Sam with a big goofy smile. She had not looked at that pin-up calendar in a while. God, she loved that picture.
"Yuck mom, stop looking at it like that," said Lizzie as she handed her mom the calendar "you're giving me the willies."
"You may not want to think about it but your father is quite an attractive man." said Sam.
"Don't remind me," shivered the teenage girl in an exaggerated chill "I just can't think about him that way. Do you know how many of my girlfriends drive me nuts about him? Your dad is so cute, they gush. I mean, he's ancient. "
"Well, I think he's sexy so tell your little girlfriends, paws off. He's all mine" laughed Sam as she re-pinned the calendar up on her cork board above her desk. "I do love September" she said with a sigh. Jack had been gone almost a week and she was now missing him more than ever.
"You know your brother looks just like him," she said to her daughter.
"Oh gross mom, that's even worse" sighed Lizzie. "You know my friend Jennifer? She always wants to study over here just so she can flirt with him."
"Flirt with who?" asked Jacob as he came up the stairs.
"No one!" huffed Lizzie as she ran down the stairs.
"You!" said Sam as she directed her son to his room. "Go get on your hazmat gear and dispose of whatever that is under your bed. And let me remind you for the last time, I hope. Food will not stay fresh under your bed. We have a very nice refrigerator in the kitchen. I hope to not find any food up here in the future, right?"
Later that morning she called Jack. "Guess what your daughter found?" she asked him.
"Knowing how she takes after her mother probably some new form of energy or something, right." He said with a laugh.
"Not today, maybe next week," she said. "She found your Mr. September calendar. She made me promise not to let any of her friends see it, or she would die of embarrassment. You know a few of her friends have a little crush on you."
"I still have not forgiven Danny for giving that to you'" he joked. "Oh, speaking of the Jackson family. He, Sarah and the kids should meet us up at the cabin this weekend Teal'c is in "town" and it would be nice to have a little shin-dig. Why don't you give Sarah a call and I will talk to Danny and T tonight at dinner."
"That sounds great, and hey, don't be too mad at Daniel. The only reason I married you was because you were a pin up boy."
